Wasn't Gandorf a magician? Why didn't he just make the ring disappear with a magic trick?

Wasn't Gandorf a magician? Why didn't he just make the ring disappear with a magic trick?

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what's that in his mouth?

a load he wont share

Why didn't Frodo just put the ring in the garbage?

Share the load, Frodo. . .

he's sharing the load

Why didn't they used the eagles to crash in saromans tower and destroy it?

best magic trick i ever saw op was when your mum's husband made his dick disappear in your ass and then made your whole family's dignity disappear. Poof!

why didn't gandalf just tell tolkien to stop being a hack

Why was the ring such a big deal? Was turning people invisible really such an unworldly power that they had to go through all that to destroy it?

Why didn't gandalf take advantage of sauron's tax policy?

Do not take him for some conjurer of cheap tricks.

the ring gives you want to want, to an exaggerated degree

it turns hobbits invisible because they have a very strong 'keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself' culture

and that's a basic thing you don't need to know shit to get it to do. for people who actually know how to make the most out of enchanted artifacts, it's basically a minor genie

Why didn't Pippin teach Aragon some bitchin songs to sing at his inauguration?

Ganondorf is the King of Thieves you retard. Yet it's true he can play a big ass piano organ looking thing.

so why does it also make humans invisible

That was the first time I ever took an entire bbc. Now i know first hand that white men can not compete.

Are you saying he doesn't give a Fawkes about your order of phoenix?

>the ring gives you want to want, to an exaggerated degree
no it doesn't. it just gives you power. that's why it's called the ring of power. anyone who wears it turns invisible. isildur, gollum, frodo, bilbo. for some reason it doesn't work on sauron in the flashback where he's wearing it and very not invisible. probably overlooked it

He found the buffet table that's why

What would happen if an eagle wore it on its talon?

>the ring gives you want to want, to an exaggerated degree

frodo wanted the ring destroyed. why didn't it destroy itself immediately if it grants wishes at an exaggerated degree

i'll leave that one to the philosophers

isildur never turned invisible and the rest were hobits

Magic in LOTR universe is pathetically weak. Their "gods" cannot teleport. They have to ride boats and had to hitch rides on eagles. Students from Hogwarts would be gods in LOTR universe.

>isildur never turned invisible
youtube.com/watch?v=Akw9CIxGEPA&t=0m36s

What would happen if an eagle philosopher wore the ring?

He'd pop into Tolkien's world as he is writing the book.

In Sauron's possession the ring is able to control the other rings of power owned by the other races. Hobbitses and men that wear it can't do any of that shit.

When are people going to stop posting this meme?

>I am a stupid retard please punch me in the groin so I dont reproduce
ftfy

>Why was the ring such a big deal?

Destroying it was the only way to defeat Sauron, who would have won a tactical victory had half his power not been destroyed along with the ring.

> for some reason it doesn't work on sauron

Because putting on the ring brings you into the shadow realm, where Sauron is master, so he can control that. Plus he's the master of the ring, so it has no power over him.

When they stop getting their knowledge of LOTR from Sup Forums and actually read the books.

>main baddie is Sauron
>his top henchmen is literally named Sauron-Man
Why was Tolkien such a hack

>the ring gives you want to want, to an exaggerated degree

The ring tempts you with what you want so that you'll put it on and Sauron can find it. It just wants to be found.

>it turns hobbits invisible because they have a very strong 'keep your head down and don't draw attention to yourself' culture

Hobbits turn invisible because they're weak. Putting on the ring transfers you to the shadow realm. If you're strong enough, you won't go invisible.

Almost as bad as George Lucas and Luuuke

>Because putting on the ring brings you into the shadow realm, where Sauron is master,
ohhhhh. ok that works. thanks

>Don't be alarmed Frodo, these eagles are my friends. Here, take this ring and climb aboard its back -- it will fly you over Mount Doom for you to drop it inside. I mean, walking there would be plain stupidity. You'll save the world and be back in time for supper!

If Sauron had a Sauronman, why didn't Gandalf have a Gandalfman?

because two towers was an inside job

White Gandalf is Gandalfman.

I thought he was just some pedo hobo wizard that, when he died, was forgiven by god and washed free of sin and became white.
He was still Gandalf but not a pedo hobo anymore, he could still have a Gandalfman.
Jesus, those movies are confusing.

Didn't he have an assistant during Minas Tirith? It was him, Aragorn, and a third dude... or maybe I'm remember it wrong. Gandalfman is the third dude.

...

Why didn't Bilbo just attach the ring to a balloon and send it off into space?

Why didn't frodo just take the ring on a boat to the undying lands?

Why didn't Frodo just drop the ring from standing height onto the cement since apparently it's the most powerful force in existence and strong enough to break my $600 phone in a rubber case

The heat required to forge a sword is double that of the temperature of lava,
fucking Hackson.

>Why didn't they just throw it down a massive canyon or any volcano like the silmarillion?

>Sauron was taught jewellery making by the son of the guy who trapped the fucking light of the trees.
>Those gems can be destroyed by any volcano but the ring needs a special one?

>2017
>using the cellular jew
You were asking for it desu

if salmon had the ring, became a giant and still got defeated by a puny human, then why did he care so much about it? he should have made a big magic hat or something next, instead of trying so hard to find the ring.

the silmarils weren't destroyed but you raise a very good point. one of the silmarils was dropped into the ocean where no one not even the vala can recover them. so why not drop the ring where the silmaril was dropped?

Isildur never went invisible in the books. The scene where he goes invisible is movie garbage just like Elrond's and Isildur's confrontation about the ring.

Because destruction of the ring was the only way for them to defeat Sauron. Only ome númenórean remained and there were very little elves left so the good imhabitants of middle earth were few in numbers. They had no chance of defeating Sauron in a conventional war.

oh yeah, i forgot about the need to destroy the ring not just hide it.

the ring puts you in the realm of the wraiths and also alerts Sauron to your position.

It was designed for Sauron's use only - the invisibility on hobbits is more of a side-effect.

The eagles weren't picking up the trash til tuesday

>Isildur never went invisible in the books.

Yes he did, moron. It was explained that the Ring slipped off of his finger as he swam away. Also Tolkien went into much greater depth on the story in Unfinished Tales.

You do realize Tolkiens books are basically his personal fanfiction he never wanted to share with anyone, right?

Nothing close to George "Attention Whore" Lucas.

>not using the One iPhone, forged in Mount Doom by Jobs himself with the power to rule all the other smartphones

Why didn't Fordo just hide the ring up his butt?

he didn't want Sam to find it

Yes he did

>Muh eagles
>Muh eagles
You dumb fucks didn't get the point of the whole movie. You spastic fucks. Gandalf that is a fucking Maiar almost gets corrupted by stearing at the ring. The same thing happened to Boromir and would have eventually happened with the rest of the company. The only people that could tolerate the temption of the ring were hobbits that by nature didn't have much ambition. The eagles would have probably being corrupted by the fucking ring and it wasn't a risk that Gandalf could take

The invisibility is for everyone who isn't Maiar because it does some weird shit to your corporeal form which isn't such a big deal when you're basically an angel

gandolf just gave the ring to a lesser being instead because fuck hoberts

But Gandalf could teleport

>Fly Eagles over Mordor with no distractions
>40 million arrows and 9 ringwraiths
The corruption doesn't even factor into it honestly

kek. ol spidey pumps big load in step sons arteries

Why didn't the ring writhes take off their cloaks and sneak up on Fodor?

Their clothes are part of their body obviously

Hmm
In principle that should work, but I guess their mere presence radiates fear or something and people basically sense when they're around, making the sneaking part a bit more difficult

Why didn't Gandalf take the ring and fly straight up on an eagle to the edge of the atmosphere and then fire a spell that shot the ring into space?

Why didn't Sam just rape Rosie? The Hobbits don't have a police force to stop him

Tolkien was a hack, news at 10

Gandalf teleported in bilbos house

>Fly Eagles over Mordor with no distractions
The ring is a huge distraction.Even Gandalf and Elrond were tempted to take it.Saruman that was a maiar was totally corrupted by it.The eagles would have been no different and would have kept the ring

why didn't Sauron make more horcruxes instead of a single one?

>Elrond's and Isildur's confrontation about the ring.
ISILDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR

Yeah bur the whole idea of flying Frodo over the walls is fucking retarded for the very reason it's obvious what they're doing

It wasn't a horcrux, it was a power amplifier. Sauron was naturally immortal and it took the fall of Númenor to destroy his first body.

why didnt they dig a massive hole in the ground and bury it?

DONT give me this 'it'll find its way back' shit either, a worm couldn't carry the weight of the ring to the surface even if it wanted too

Is that cum?It looks like cum

What's the rest of the Tolkien universe like, Sup Forums? Beyond the planet Ambar, what's out there in the cosmos in a universe where magic is undeniably real and the kind of extraordinary power to be found in Lord of the Rings is present on just one measly planet?

>the ring gives you want to want, to an exaggerated degree

No the ring makes you THINK that will happen when in fact the only noticeable power it ever had was turning someone "invisible." The entire purpose of the ring was for Sauron to wear it to control all other ringbearers. It only wants to return to its master. So it will make you start thinking crazy shit until you absolutely believe you NEED it to the point to where you are willing to kill your friends over it.

Nothing else is shown in the books other than mentioning how fucking OP Sauron was with the ring.

It is inevitable, Mr Elrond.