/cric/

Most Dangerous Edition

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thesun.co.uk/news/5133944/sun-investigation-smashes-bookies-multi-million-pound-plot-to-rig-third-ashes-test/amp/?__twitter_impression=true
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_of_cricket
foxsports.com.au/cricket/jason-gillespie-recalls-the-day-shane-warne-trapped-himself-in-one-of-australian-crickets-alltime-pranks/news-story/f6344163531e0050b677b51fbcbacb1e?nk=b3c06f074d07c88bc9de0bb9c8243f27-1513209886
twitter.com/SkySportsNews/status/941098022158643200
streamable.com/gt8tf
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England's lineup is unchanged despite 80% of it putting in nothing but poor performances.

England selectors are literally playing 4D chess knowing they are all due a good innings.

England will dominate this match.

just took a massive gassy poo lads

Since smarsh is currently the best player in the squad. With the addition of another marsh and the fact they're playing on their home turf. by my calculations they should score 400 and take 10 wickets between them

in this mornings paper, australia has brought back mitch johnson for this test, englands gunna get blown the fuck out

Should Perth tests be Night-Dayers?

Start the first session at 4am local time, and then play throughout the sunrise. Timing works well for Eastern states as well.

Predicting a tidy ton from William David Warner in this match

Is griget the most homebabby of all the spoorts. India, once again, is absolutely annihilating opposition at home, and despite being world number 1 everyone knows they're going to be BTFO when they go to Seth Efrica.

Australia is on track to win the Ashes 5-0 at home again, even though they will be humiliated when they have to go play in England in 18 months and probably bowled out for 59. Don't worry tho, because they'll win the Ashes after that 5-0.

I don't think this cum consuming competition is for me lads

Anyone got the script for today's match?

I'm still running the numbers but it's looking like Australia winning the toss and having a healthy opening wicket partnership

Ellyse for the men's team WHEN?

Test cricket has become the ultimate homebabby sport. India are the best test team at the moment but they'll still fall apart next summer in England. Back in the 90s when Australia had the best test side in history England still usually managed to win at least 1 test away in Australia, but this lot are fucking hopeless away from home.

Ellyse nudes when?

This is thread 63 btw

UNEMPLOYED KIWI CHOOSES TO REMAIN IN AUSTRALIA
According to Auckland born Tane, the only reason he lives in Australia is due to job opportunities and maintains that it is inferior to New Zealand in every other way.
Which is why it is so baffling that despite being unable to scaff-hold down a job, the NZ resident has continued to reside on our island for at least 6 months after being fired from his previous job for failing a drug test.
It is apparent that Tane has pineapple-lumped himself in with all the other Kiwis who are simply unable to admit that even without a job, living in Australia is better than living in the 1980s or "New Zealand" as it's commonly known.
Unable to access Centrelink, we asked Tane how he was making a crust:
"Chyeh it's tough but I do a few cushies here and there, also sell a bit of green and P on the side, Perth scaffies love that shut ay"
We asked Tane whether he'd consider moving back to the land of the long white cloud:
"New Zelund will always be home, it's mean as cuzzy, but it's like a sheep's hole, it's comfy and will always be there to slup back into ay, may as well try an git another job on the mines G, make some coin ay, plus you got beaches and your women puss sitting down"

didnt even realise it was starting tonight desu

RIP Hughesy
Still hurts lads

02:30 UK time. Be there to see Root win the toss and decide to have a bit of a bowl. Back to sleep by 02:40.

think /cric/ should die after this thread

r/cricket's survey results are in lads

cricket is genuinely beyond women's comprehension

Surely my hair will grow back, right lads?

SURELY

better to end it all lad

thesun.co.uk/news/5133944/sun-investigation-smashes-bookies-multi-million-pound-plot-to-rig-third-ashes-test/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

has to be stemming from Moeen

Me the cricket match fixer

Start wearing hats

>thesun.co.uk/news/5133944/sun-investigation-smashes-bookies-multi-million-pound-plot-to-rig-third-ashes-test/amp/?__twitter_impression=true
wtf is this staged shit

couldnt even be fucked to read what did it say they were betting on?

The ashes

Why didn't they report it afterwards to see if there is veracity to the claims

all bookmakers and anyone appearing in an advert for them should be executed

>"Make sure England win this third test"

Had a fuckin gutful of grubby indians in MY griget desu.

Can somebody please explain cricket to me in 20 words or less?

>england somehow still fuck it up

maybe they thought there was something up in the second test?

>posts root
>somehow

if this was reddit you'd get a wall of text autistically explaining the rules to you

then you get the typical american reply "hehe I know some of these words xD"

God, snivelling rats, the lot of them.

Watch a test match. Soak it up as you go along.

...

...

>They also claimed to be working with a fixer in Australian cricket known as The Silent Man.

SHEARER SHEARER SHEARER

Lleyton hewitt

Guess my ethnicity btw

Hi, newcomers to /cric/!It seems you have stumbled upon our nifty old sport.

You're probably wondering: what the hell are these guys in whites doing? Why are they playing with a paddle? Is this a new meme? But did you know that cricket has been played for over 200 years? Wow! That's really something.

Here's something that might help you understand the game more:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_of_cricket

And while you're here, it's best if we introduce you to some of /cric/'s finest memes so you don't feel left out :)

Here are a few of the classics:

>Is David Warner related to Shane Warner?
Referring to 2 famous Australian cricketers, this is a humorous play on words of current Australian batsman David Warner and Australian spin legend Shane Warne(spin is a form of bowling that you'll come to know and love). The similar personalities of the two players also makes this amusing, as it's likely that they are probably related!

>Will Smith score a century?
Another delightful play on words. Here we're referring to current Australian captain Steven Smith, and the question is whether he'll score a century. However, this question is always answered with "Will Smith is an actor m8", a reference to popular African-American actor Will Smith, someone I'm sure you're familiar with!

>Daniel
Daniel is a cricket fan from New Zealand well known for his idiosyncrasies, such as his worship of progressive rock, the English County Championship and infatuation with average Slavic girls(surely a step down from the babes you have in Europe or America, haha). It is common to reply to New Zealander posts with "hi daniel", as a reference to /cric/'s most popular Kiwi.

>Holly or Ellyse?
This is an ongoing debate as to who is the better looking female cricketer: Australia's Holly Ferling and Ellyse Perry(who represents Australia in both cricket and soccer - wow!)

There's so much more in /cric/ to offer! Stick around!

based saxon

have the hordes of muslims hit the farm yet mate? stay strong

Nobody actually thinks Holly is better looking than ellyse

/cric/ is SUNE LUUS territory

Not true

YES IT IS

Dubs and England score over 400 in their first innings at the WACA.

foxsports.com.au/cricket/jason-gillespie-recalls-the-day-shane-warne-trapped-himself-in-one-of-australian-crickets-alltime-pranks/news-story/f6344163531e0050b677b51fbcbacb1e?nk=b3c06f074d07c88bc9de0bb9c8243f27-1513209886

LITERALLY not true, wogs not aloud

from what I'm hearing about the pitch, whoever bats first is getting that easily

get the bets in lads, this is going for a draw

Thanks for the inside info lad. I feel about as confident as an England batsman rn though.

days 4 and 5 are raining, there's no way this is going for a result

Guess the sport being discussed lads

>Breaking: @ICC launches investigation into allegations of fixing at third Ashes Test. #SSN

twitter.com/SkySportsNews/status/941098022158643200

Huh?

That would leave England needing to win at the MCG and SCG to retain the Ashes.

swarthy girls are better than blue-eyed blonde girls imo

without a doubt, just don't want to get involved with the wog shit though that's all

Which won't be happening

Lyon will clean up half the English order in no time at the SCG. With the way Moeen's been bowling I can't see England coming close to doing the same

went out with this Lebanese chick this one time, never again lads

plus they'll be fat as a house by the time they're 25 the way they eat

I can't see it happening either. I dunno, I stay up for these matches and mess up my sleep cycle, but I'd probably be better just being ragged by some dominant woman: twice the fun, and half the pain.

for me it's anglos and celts

have absolutely no time for the wogs and their ways

i'd unironically fancy a bowl first here desu

FORMER Test cricketer Geoff Lawson has reacted with scepticism to a report that Indian bookmakers claimed to be able to fix the third Ashes Test.

“Looking at that piece of video, and coming from a bloke called Sobers somewhere or other, it looks like a total preposterous piece of work,” said Lawson on Fox Sports News 500.

“The numbers they talk are inconsistent. You cannot fix Test cricket sessions — we’re waiting for more importation — but that looked like a bunch of rubbish to me.

“All we can do is speculate. Test cricket has never really been put in the firing line.


“Lots of the limited overs stuff and twenty20 cricket, yes, there’s leagues all over the world, so it’s much more susceptible this sort of stuff. To speak specifically to Test cricket you would have to have multiple people on each side being involved in it. You just can’t do it in that form of the game. Certainly one person can’t do it.”

predictions for the rest of the series Nasser?

good result for the irons tonight lads
moyes is doing a job tbf
4 points from city chelsea arsenal

the absolute state of star wars lads
streamable.com/gt8tf

3-1 aus
draw here
whoops wrong thread

based saxon

>we can't lose if we don't play.

it probably will
no way will we get near as many threads as last ashes

Might watch some cricket this arvo tee bee haitch

what num thread is this then? i lost count a couple of days ago

...

What Disney Wars lacks is worldbuilding.

Pretty much every piece of Star Wars media has world building. It’s such a central pillar of every SW movie. Instead we get repackaged nostalgia and fanservice, retreading the same places without ever doing anything new. It’s pathetic.

They’re even going the opposite way, uprooting the OT. They’re nonworld building in a way. You barely even see aliens in the new movies. All those established races barely feature while Disney feed their shitty toy-friendly meme races in.

57

...

heading off to the game lads

feeling a bit sad about the WACA going but not too sad because it was fucking shit

its 63, i've been counting

Drinks will be on Jimmy if England win this.

haha

...

...

draw incoming

looks like the old fremantle doctor bringing in a bit of rain

we've had a pretty shit 6 months, dunno what's going on with the weather here

it should be hot and sunny

Fingers crossed.

They were talking about that on the R5 Tailenders podcast with /are/ Jimmy the other day.

Not how I envisage Perth to be - looks humid too. Does the ball swing at the WACA if it's cloudy?

Night lads. Will be up at 7 watching on the train to work

'no'

Perth's as dry as you can get in Australia

our weather is basically fucking hot and fucking windy. not much in it for the ball, which is why Western Australians are more known for bowling quick

Night lad - hope you wake up to positive news.

*inhales*

Based george, didn't know you was a cricket man too

BASED global warming lad