/cric/

Check your lastfm edition

*farts*

ZERO RACISM IS TOLERATED IN THIS THREAD

rugby

KFC is Elite

*furiously reports the new thread*

i like the car races

who is that wog cunt

first for bairstow looks like a gnome

*has explosive diarrhea which starts running down the inside of his jeans*

good thread
also reminder to execute all muslims, niggers and homosexuals

me

What is zero racism? Is it like Zero Point Energy? Is it some form of next-level racism I haven't heard of yet?

>Live 3 blocks from WACA
>Too lazy to walk lol
>Hop in cab
>Don't realise there's a Wackerlilly-Marshen Street in Sydney
>Fall asleep
>Wake up with a $60 000 bill

This was in the 90s btw. Still paying it off

Please put the thread count in
It’s 66

>Hogs Breath Cafe
does anyone unironically enjoy it? never been but every time i drive past the local one theres no customers

Josh" based "trapspammer" joshy" Reynolds

really would like a wicket please lads

dubs for a wicket in the next 10 mins

...

Fuck off not happening

Pressures on lad

will do la, it wasn't in the last one so wasn't sure

>Be called a xenophobe for being for strong border control
>Be called a misogynist and racist for being against affirmative action
>Be called a homophobe for being against gay marriage for non religious beliefs
>Be called a draconian right wing nut for being 30 and not supporting the latest leftwing social agenda
>Be called a flat earther, for asking for more evidence be collected on climate change before we fundamentally change our economy
>Being told you didn't build that despite building a successful small business from the ground up
>tfw

So, who here likes cock?

Rudolph
Gordon

Daily reminder that
>You will never look good without roids.
>No matter how built you get you still have an ugly face.
>You will always have a sub 7inch babby dick.
>You will never be 6'4" master race.
>You will always be in financial difficulty.
>You will never be good at sports.
>You will always be an autistic, socially retarded faggot with nogf.

me please

love a good chook dinner

I like my own

ME!

I dunno. You sound pretty retarded to me.

like the cock on the girlies ehhehe hehehe

>caring what you are called
Just call them cunts mate.

>be 19
>getting taxi home from mate's birthday (pre-uber days)
>accidentally put the suburb alphabetically after mine that happens to have the same address
>pass out
>woken up by taxi driver with 90 dollars on the meter on the wrong side of town literally an hour from where I need to be
>have to get back because I have no fucking clue where this area is
>call another taxi
>another $90
>mfw I paid $180 and spent three hours to travel about 10km

>love talking cricket with my gf's dad and younger brother
>always try to sound elite with my informed opinions
>dad is the chair of a local club, brother is a junior there
>used to play as a child, was shit then and worse now
>going camping with her whole extended family up past noosa tomorrow
>her dad goes this morning "Oh user, you will be able to get in on some good beach cricket when we go camping"
>her 12 year old brother is going to expose me
>her 50 something year old dad is going to expose me

What should I do lads?

t. Starc

Did someone make fun of your acne scarring again?

don't mind a bit of cock from time to time
nowt wrong with it in moderation

love REAL girls with REAL penises desu

I admit, there are people smart enough to understand science and the big bang and all that stuff and therefore have enough insight and knowledge to be an atheist.

But let's face it... you're not one of them.

Why?
Because you're a humanities student with an arts degree.

Let's not play any games here. If I came over to your house right now and asked you to explain exactly why the big bang theory is more rational than Genesis, you wouldn't even be able to stutter out a semblance of an answer.

So where do you get off snickering at Christians like they're stupid and you have some amazing insight?

Sure you bought a copy of Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time". But I think if you waddle on over to your book shelf you'll find that the book mark is excactly where you left it 9 years ago.....on page 3.

Face it. You're too stupid to be an atheist.

checked

>bowling worst marsh with the new ball

Give em the charge.

>be 19
>paste pasta from other thread
>forget image

id kiss one of these if it was of age

bingo

Heard you the first time m8

Try and make it look like you're not caring at all
>slog at every ball when batting
>bowl off one or two steps and just lob it in

say you're a specialist wicket keeper

if stove was going to bowl himself why didn't they just bring up memeswell instead of worst marsh

just play straight lad

But a humanities student is far more likely to give a credible interpretation and reading of Genesis than any STEM student

/cric/ need some help ASAP

>got my girlfriend of 3 and a bit years pregnant.
>We are both 21 and work full-time jobs.
>She wishes to keep the baby and I didn't want it.
>Everyone on both families start to dislike me cause I didn't want this child to potentially ruin my life.
>Sleeping next to her 2 and a bit weeks ago I was wide awake and in shock at this fact.
>Pretend I'm having a nightmare and knee her in the stomach as hard as I can.
>Baby now gone..

I actually want the kid now, I feel so bad when will this feeling fade. Any similar stories would be appreciated, thanks for reading and any advice would be great.

u make a good point champ

fucked up if true

make sure you go keeper, your not going to take a catch, and you might not have to bowl either. just let the 12yr old bat for as long as possible and look for gf brownie points

fertilise her again

Just knock her up again.

absolute madman

she knows what you did and your relationship isn't lasting much longer

what an awful test match

unironically do this: get a bit pissed so they will just attribute your lack of skills to the fact you have had a few beers

GET READY FOR A BROKEN FUCKING ARM

You know the great thing about spoofing a moderator's login is you can see the IP address ranges of people, and then track down their ISP. With a bit of work you can figure out where they live. Simple social engineering gets personal details on the person, and after awhile you notice that people like yourself have a very distinct pattern of behaviors due to the boredom suffered. It makes dealing with your kind amusing, but easy.

Be seeing you.

oh dear oh dear

>poocroft

>Nicely payed
>Waiting for the right price
What did Slats and Clarke mean by this?

this shit sounds like a Seinfeld plot

could it be... Dare I say it... Fixed

>not getting obnoxiously drunk and throwing up on the 12 year old

Let me tell you that if you fantasize about scat, you will be in absolute heaven when it happens in reality. I had been into scat for years, until my gf at the time was down with letting me eat her shit. I always enjoyed the smell of girls' asses and rimming them out, the dirtier the better. But the thought of eating my gf's shit was undeniably awesome.

So after a day of eating a lot of food and holding it in, the moment arrived. She squatted over my face, as that is the position for maximum freshness. I saw the portal to the gods open when I saw her anus open up and a beautiful turd made it's way out. Before long, that turd had made it's way into my mouth. It was so long that it went all the back to the back of my throat and the other end was hanging off the side of my mouth. She closed her anus up and made sure that I ate that current turd before she fed me some more. Not gonna lie, it tasted AWFUL, but I was so turned on like never before. Once I downed the turd, she gave me more shits to eat. In all I must have eaten at least 2 pounds of her shit. After I ate her shit, she had me lick her ass clean. While I was cleaning her ass, she gave me a blowjob and I came pretty much immediately, as I was rock solid hard the entire time.

tl;dr I'm a sick shit eating freak and if you're into it, you'll fucking love it

Just inject lol

wanting a peaceful, terrorist free country isn't racist.

make sure you know how to hod a back properly
if you hold it like a retarded thats never batted before its instantly obvious no matter how much you act like you aren't trying

>Poopeelian spotfixers

Less subtle than the Pakis

love when the new ball is taken lads

where do i live lad?

>Australian fielding

poo in loo

Palmerston North.

hard, hot and red
love it

>swann on commentary
hope they ask him about his last test here lel

PITT THE ELDER

shart in mart

Don't you retards think before you click "post" that maybe someone on the other end is actually going to read your stupid, malformed comments some day? It's almost like there's a record full of incomprehensible bullshit playing in your mind 24/7, and you put the needle down randomly and whatever it picks up, you just type it and shoot it off to us.

fucking LOVE all you lads tbqh

based fucking goosey

literally seething the absolute state of aus fielding today

I still laugh at how Sup Forums doesn't understand what sage means.
If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.
Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just Sup Forums and Sup Forums's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.
The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".
The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead

would have had cummins up this end 2bh

>Malan's batting showed abject lack of clarity
t. Swann

...

why do people use these threads as little more than a dumping ground for copypasta

Fuck you vas te faire encule-moi, petite salope? Je vais, je sais, je suis diplômé marine haut descriptive, et les joints, et j'ai été impliqué dans un certain nombre d'attaques sur le canal secret, et certains d'entre eux n'ont pas plus de 300 victoires. Joué gorille formés à la guerre, et l'armée américaine dans son ensemble. La réaction était juste un signe pour moi. Je veux te baiser, et va ruiner son style, et qui n'est jamais arrivé avant dans l'élégant quartier du pays, doué de vie, et de participer au viol mes mots. Pensez-vous que vous ne pouvez pas me dire merde sur internet? Détrompez-vous, espèce d'idiot. Nous parlons, j'ai contacté mon réseau d'espionnage secrète à travers les Etats-Unis et votre adresse IP devraient suivre prochainement, afin que vous puissiez mieux vous préparer à la tempête, la larve. Contactez-tempête essuyée vous pauvres petites choses, votre vie. Vous n'avez pas violer et assassiner des enfants. En tout cas, je ne peux pas aller dans le temps passé, respectivement, pour la 700 et je suis sur la route et vos mains. La formation n'est pas seulement de large, et sans armes de combat, mais je devrais avoir accès aux arsenaux nucléaires entières de la United States National Marine Corps et je vais utiliser sa portée maximale pour analyser votre partie continentale cul visage pathétique, et vous mentionnez illégale. Si vous savez ce que venger le mal et votre point de vue de la réduction de la «intelligent» que vous êtes, vous devriez peut-être votre langue pour maudire. Mais vous ne pouvez pas, vous êtes prêt à payer plus d'argent, tout simplement stupide. Je vais chier en colère, je tiens à vous noyer dans celui-ci. Die, Kidd.

run out on 99. digits

Sage

dickwad malan

Walkie is working at JB Hi-Fi Strathpine tonight if anybody is heading up to do some late night chrissy shopping tonight lads

You are now imagining yourself fucking a trap who is sitting in your lap, facing you. She gives out little moans and whimpers as she desperately forces herself to ride you, pulling herself up and down your cock as fast as she can manage. Her feminine features are flushed red with embarrassment because her stiff, little cock is bouncing off your stomach with every thrust, but you are holding her hand back, preventing her from hiding it or jacking herself off. Just as you begin to climax you feel her slam her hips down as deeply as she can, squeezing like a vice around you and moaning wildly. As you continue to fill her with your cum, she begins spraying your stomach and chest with her own virile but useless seed, her hips desperately bucking with ever spurt. After your orgasms subside, you release her arms and grab her hips, grinding your still-hard but sated dick deeply into her, and tell her that you won't pull it out until she cleans up the mess she made. She begins straining forward, using her tongue to lap up the warm cum she left plastered across your chest. By the time she is done, you are both already hard again.

umm come on over sweetie