Nicolascageplotgenerator

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THERES NO TIME!

Nicolas Cage plays a coke-addicted circus clown whose platonic friend, whom he sleeps with, gets kidnapped at a kidnapper's convention and is put in a concentration camp

Nicolas Cage plays a child molester whose husband gets kidnapped at the Million Man March and is forced to choose between reuniting with Cage and jumping into a volcano.

>Nicolas Cage plays a gynecologist whose granddaughter gets kidnapped at a ski resort and Cage, by now having reached the peak of senility, accidentally blows up the Kremlin

Nicolas Cage plays a Batman whose illegitimate son gets kidnapped at an Albanian brothel and Cage's only chance at dishing out hot, steamy justice is to win a boxing match… with himself.

>Nicolas Cage plays a time-traveling scuba instructor whose favorite dinosaur bone gets kidnapped at a rodeo and is glued to the back of a rabid elephant.

>Nicolas Cage plays a mad-with-power homeless man whose dominican maid gets kidnapped at an Applebees and shoved up his own butt.

MY FUCKING SIDES

>Nicolas Cage plays a Nic Cage look-a-like whose blow-up doll gets kidnapped at a haunted mansion and is enrolled in part-time bartending college.

Nicolas Cage plays the warden of a women's prison whose blow-up doll gets kidnapped by vigilante robots and Cage's only hope is to finish all his vegetables before time runs out

reddit thread

>Nicolas Cage plays a transgender orthodontist whose step-daughter gets kidnapped at a boogie-boarding competition and Cage gets his old crew back together to settle the score--him, his two fists, and a fifth of vodka.
FUND IT!

>Nicolas Cage plays a James Brown backup singer whose nephew, whom he treats like a son, gets kidnapped while Cage was busy getting a lapdance from THREE GIRLS AT ONCE and is tied to a meteor speeding towards the Earth.

> Nicolas Cage plays a Mormon whose platonic friend, whom he sleeps with, gets kidnapped at thumbpoint by a group of hands and is forced to start life on another planet.

kek

>Nicolas Cage plays an alcoholic caterpillar whose platonic friend, whom he sleeps with, gets kidnapped by the God Zeus and Cage seeks revenge on an unrelated group of elderly people.

Credible desu

Nicolas Cage plays a professional rapist whose step-son gets kidnapped on Sucker Free Sunday and is forced to wear shoes a half size too small.

>Nicolas Cage plays a preschool professor whose step-sister gets kidnapped at a taping of Last Call with Carson Daly and Cage kills himself in order to come back as a ghost and properly settle the score.

CAGEKINO

>Nicolas Cage plays a wise-crackin' pet detective whose blind date gets kidnapped at Niagra Falls and because Cage is busy filming nineteen other movies simultaneously, he sends Jason Statham to settle the score.

Id watch it

>Nicolas Cage plays a sexy nurse whose step-nephew gets kidnapped by laser-wielding nuns and is sent back in time to give Cage career advice

>Nicolas Cage plays a jewel thief whose mute second cousin gets kidnapped by the Screen Actors Guild and Cage must face his second-greatest fear… himself.

Pure kino

>Nicolas Cage plays a Batman whose imaginary friend gets kidnapped by professional kidnappers and is signed up for Amazon Prime
$10.99 a month, what monsters

Speaking of monsters, looks that those monster digits.

>Nicolas Cage plays an ice cream man whose baby brother gets kidnapped by a vengeful Liam Neeson, who believes Cage kidnapped his daughter and left him for dead in the Alaskan wilderness, and is submitted to a sex-change operation.
I'd watch it

Lot of kidnapping going on in these kinos

Reddit.

>Nicolas Cage plays a repo man with a heart of gold whose insurance rep gets kidnapped at a carnival in the deep south and is forced to blow up the Vatican.

KINO

>Nicolas Cage plays an ex-murderer whose stunt double gets kidnapped on a Thursday (!) and is forced to binge-watch Reba.

>Nicolas Cage plays an aspiring Jethro Tull roadie whose step-niece gets kidnapped at a roller derby and Cage is yet again denied a theatrical release.
heh

Nicolas Cage plays a professional rapist whose Asian wife gets kidnapped at a big fat greek wedding and Cage does nothing about it, never speaking of the incident again.

>Nicolas Cage plays a European gigolo whose dead dream-wife gets kidnapped by no one and Cage releases a sex tape to draw the villain out of hiding.
But who is the villain?

>Nicolas Cage plays a homosexual dolphin whose wisdom tooth gets kidnapped by the Screen Actors Guild and is enrolled in part-time bartending college.

Nicolas Cage plays a black man whose wisdom tooth gets kidnapped during a vacation on the moon and is sent to the future to prevent a zombie goldfish apocalypse.

This one got a bit Meta

>Nicolas Cage plays a man with nothing to lose (except for all his loved ones, prized possessions, his job and his glowing reputation) whose husband gets kidnapped by disgruntled Astronauts and Cage dishes out his own brand of justice, which is similar to the brand of justice dished out by most main characters in these kinds of movies.

It's all in his mind.

10/10 Cagekino

>But who is the villain?
His accountant

>Nicolas Cage plays a kidnapper whose pen-pal gets kidnapped by Sump'n Claus and Cage kidnaps a senior citizen in a misguided attempt at revenge.
KINO

>Nicolas Cage plays a drug-addicted ventriloquist whose merkin gets kidnapped at a lesbian wedding and is forced to play lead synth in an 80s cover band.

>Nicolas Cage plays a brain surgeon whose blind date gets kidnapped during a vacation on the moon and is put in a concentration camp.

>Nicolas Cage plays an elevator operator whose dominatrix gets kidnapped at a rave and Cage releases a sex tape to draw the villain out of hiding

I'd watch it

Nicolas Cage plays all of us whose walrus gets kidnapped at an Applebees and Cage develops a speech impediment while trying to get to the bottom of things.


???

>Nicolas Cage plays a kidnapper whose husband gets kidnapped by disgruntled Astronauts and is forced to start life on another planet.

>Nicolas Cage plays a minor league baseball player whose favorite dinosaur bone gets kidnapped while Cage was busy getting a lapdance from THREE GIRLS AT ONCE and Cage's only hope is to blow up every orphanage in the continental United States before time runs out.

Pure kino plot

Fuck orfans