Be American

>be American
>get SHROOM'd

Other urls found in this thread:

americanmushrooms.com/basics.htm
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybe_serbica
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

based

Poles still do this?
I come from a post-soviet country and reading this makes me feel a bit nostalgic

Well Yanks can't expect Polish people to go without their soups being properly seasoned do they?

The savages

wait, germans don't pick mushrooms? do you at least pick berries? or are you forced to buy everything from your friendly neighbourhood merchant?

Europeans pick mushrooms? I thought it was only us.

Some Germans probably do, but there is no berry/mushroom picking culture here

>slavshits
>europeans

>foraging for food
just go to your local supermarket

>picking shit yourself and dying from nature-aids

>paying for mushrooms instead of spending a comfy day off in the forest while getting them for free

>going outside
>comfy

Are they tasty?
How do you know if you got the edible one or the ones that poison you?
How do you guys prepare your mushrooms?

>spending a whole day in the forest
>not working at your workplace and contributing to GDP
no wonder Poland is poor

People don't work 24/7/365
what about sundays? and holidays?

isn't it even illegal to walk into most forests in germany? like, you have to follow certain trails, and if you leave the trail, it's trespassing?

>Are they tasty?
fuck yeah, nothing like factory made champignons
>How do you know if you got the edible one or the ones that poison you?
every Polish grandma teaches her grandchildren the secrets of mushrooms, it's one of our national passtimes
>How do you guys prepare your mushrooms?
depends on the kind, mostly soups or sauces and some kinds are delicious in scrambled eggs, they are also essential for bigos. we also dry them so they can be used through winter

yes
it's kind of self-evident basing on their looks, you learn mushroom picking as a kid
in soups caseroles roasts egg dishes sauces etc

I am not an expert, but I think there are certain paths only forester is allowed to walk.

>what about sundays? and holidays?
You spend the money you earned to consume, duh

sounds delicious
i wanna try polish mushrooms one day

>You spend the money you earned to consume, duh
what if i like to go to the forest?

>what if i like to go to the forest?
how does it help the economy???

>american army is so weak babushkas stop a multi billion dollar army
JUST
PICK
MY
MUSHROOMS
UP
AMERIC U C KS ON SUICIDE WATCH

so in germany, it's okay to spend all your money buying work simulators, so that you can spend your days off pretending to work. but it's NOT okay to just walk into the forest, have a fun and comfy time being in nature, and then get mushrooms and berries for free, essentially making a profit?

...

Not everything you do has to help the economy, geez.
But how about this:
Going to the forest wears down your shoes and clothes, so you have to buy more clothes sooner.

We do pick mushroom

>2k17
>fun in the nature
>picking berries worth ~2€

u gay son

That works, especially if you buy overprized outdoor brands

>be American navy
>get TANKED

>Forgetting the joy of fishing

>less than 1000€ for head to toe clothing

Eternal Alman can't even afford the Jack Cuckskin jackets that make 50% of his remaining "culture"
lmao

>sitting in a frozen shithole for hours until some dumb ass fish bites
#justalmanthings

What is wrong with you?
Let people have a bit of fun.
Not everything you do has to be carefully calculated to make sure you are improving the economy.

>saturday
>wake up at 5AM
>pack some food
>bike halfway to Vitosha
>climb the rest
>light the gas, make eggs, bacon and coffee
>eat at the top of the mountain
>descend back into town

Shit on paper, waste of time, why would you do it, etc. But great to actually do.
Feels good man.

welcome to neoliberalism

>fun
Like, the entertainment industry? We could start making video games in our free times but it seems inefficient to let the entire population do this in their free time. Letting the specialists do it would be more efficient.

I genuinely don't see what's so fun about forests and fishing. It's probably why Almans are going extict.

>Saturday
>wake up at 11am
>make some food
>watch tv until 4pm
>invite all the lads over
>get wasted
>go outside at 10pm
>beat up some almans, have fun
>call police to give you a ride home

>beat up some almans

Just alman things...

i have no idea what you're talking about
there are other things that are fun besides video games

>enuinely don't see what's so fun about forests and fishing
different people have different tastes
what's an alman btw?

We pick all kinds of them. It's a pretty traditional thing to do in Catalonia and I'm sure other regions do it as well.

>what's an alman btw?
native cumskin German who does native cumskin German things.

mashallah brother
greek master race

Aren't germans and descendents of germans the superior race/people?

your daily polak reminder that if you dare oppose the washington zionists they will turn your shithole into yugoslavia 2.0.

thats what NATO is there for,grzegosz :^)

didn't even the nazis shill going outdoors and have fun in nature? what happened to that spirit?

dont ever mistake me with that mentally ill faggot.
not as far as I can tell.

The elites figured out that collecting mushrooms doesn't make any money for the economy

Whats the point of picking shrooms if they're not even hallucinogenic fungi?

>implying we don't have magic shrooms

I guess they didn't find the russian muddy outdoors fun.

As a reader of NRK, I always see articles about picking mushrooms and berries and find it simultaneously cute and strange. It seems like a cozy thing to go out and do, but I've never heard of anybody doing it here and have no idea where to do it.

we've had a thread about Americans not picking mushrooms and berries some time back, turns out that most of the shit in New World is poisonous and you don't really have much edible mushrooms like in Europe. or thats what the Americans said at least.

>dude weed lmao
yeah what's the point with eating good food if it doesn't intoxicate you?

Pretending you are not picking the hallucinogenic ones.

You don't want to meet the police with basket full of magic.

Shrooms and acid are the only drugs I do amigo.
The point is there is practically no mushrooms in the USA (or at least where I live) that are edible and NOT hallucinogenic.
Besides, if I'm going through the effort of using one of my days off to go in the woods to pick shrooms, they best get me fucked up, otherwise I'll just go to the grocery store.
What kind senpai?
I'm not sure of where they are all at in the world, I only know some places in the USA (and mexico) that have them.

the kind that help you have a 1 on 1 session with god

sometimes he decides to take you off this shitty world

>What kind senpai?
Psilocybe semilanceata, moravica and bohemica

From what I've heard we have highest distribution of magic shrooms in Europe (and I happen to live near the richest vein).

>About 250 North American species are known to be edible (though only about half of these are truly worthwhile), and a similar number are known to be poisonous; the rest we're not sure about.
Source: americanmushrooms.com/basics.htm

Psilocybe semilanceata. they mostly grow on cow shit lmao. but they make for a good trip, they aren't really hallucinogenic in normal doses, but make you really happy and the world seems very beautiful. thought patterns after taking them are starnge and unusual as well, nice if you want to think about your life or soething. similiar to acid, but some people I know had different experiences (but still possitive). depends on the person I guess

>Go to shrooms
>Get TICKED

That's a 1/2 chance of dying if you pick the wrong shit my man.
Unless you're a mycologist who knows your shit it aint worth risking dying over.

this is how your trip nomally goes on those.

>moravica
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybe_serbica
wew, they look pretty good ngl.
we only have the liberty caps here, but lot's of them (semilanceata I think - little with nipples)

>little with nipples


awwwww yeah now ur talking

kek I meant They have little translucent nipples on the top. They should be everywhere this time of year, but it's still too warm.

There are several mushrooms that are impossible to be mistaken for a poisonous one.
All types of boletus, chantarelle, yellowfoot and sweet tooth can't really be mistaken for anything inedible.

Why Americans are such bad drivers?

Poisonous doesn't mean deadly poisonous. Most of them probably cause diarhea or something. Besides, getting to know how a dozen of most popular species in your area look like isn't that hard.

>Poisonous doesn't mean deadly poisonous. Most of them probably cause diarhea or something.

Yeah. I don't play with lucky.
>be me
>school kid making a school work about the fungi kingdom
>everyone bring mushrooms to school
>teacher is talking about poisonous mushroom
>someone rise and make a joke
>all mushrooms are edible, some of them only once
>entire class start to laugh
>fat kid from another corner yell mama mia
>everyone look at him
>he just bite a huge chunk of his mushroom
>teacher freak out
>force him to puke
>ambulance arrive 10 minutes later
>kid became a potato for the rest of his life (not really a vegetable, but definitely mental)

I will never pick mushrooms because the moment when i put them in my mouth, i will probably start to feel bad thinking that the mushroom is poisoned.

Well, that's the first rule of the shroom club, don't eat shrooms you're not absolutely sure to be edible.
>Besides, getting to know how a dozen of most popular species in your area look like isn't that hard.
Is it?
>he just bite a huge chunk of his mushroom
Let me guess, it was a death cap?

>Let me guess, it was a death cap?
I don't know. I was 10 or 11.

Brazilian climate is too diverse. And or flora is one of the most diverse in the world (even living in the south, where most of the land is farmland). I simple don't feel confidence to pick a mushroom and eat it. Who fucking know if Brazil don't have a native obscure version of the edible mushroom that look exactly like one of the books...

damn hobbits

I just google this "death cap". Pretty sure it was it (they are extremely popular here in south)...

friend of a friend of a friend were in-the-woodsing it and drinking.

they made mushroom stew and were too drunk out of their minds didnt noticed they threw in some poisonous shrooms.

they found 3 stiff corpses some days later after none of them returned home

shrooms are no joke you better know wtf youre doing

>Who fucking know if Brazil don't have a native obscure version of the edible mushroom that look exactly like one of the books...
I'm sure there are such species because that's how it is everywhere in the world, However they always have minor differencies, experienced shroom people are able to recognize them.

Wow, they gave one the most poisonous shrooms to 10 year olds. What could possibly go wrong?

Shit...
Maybe one day i grow some mushrooms. But not picking them (some people are already finding new plants, insects and animals in Brazil)

God damn it putin, why are you so obsessed with getting people to shroom.

ARE YOU PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE FUNGUS TO TURN US ALL GAY?

Chill Alex.
No one give it to him. We pick them and bring to school.

I've been mushroom picking since I was a little kid and I have few rules of thumb
1) Never pick any white mushrooms
2) Don't try anything you are absolutely sure you have identified
There are few exceptions to rule 1 but they always follow rule 2.

>Maybe one day i grow some mushrooms. But not picking them (some people are already finding new plants, insects and animals in Brazil)
Your choice.
You got me John.

if youre lucky to survive eating this one youre going to need a new liver.

>*aren't

So? They're only Poles. Just conduct the live fire drill as planned.

Germans don't pick mushrooms? It's the most völkisch pastime there is.

You won't survive eating a piece bigger than your pinkie finger. Also the thing with it is that when you start to feel the poison you are already dead because it starts to take effect several hours after digestion.

go get run over by Ahmed you filthy scandinavic animal

there wont be any Almans left in 20 years, so who cares about your meme pasttimes?