Celebrity Encounter stories.
I met coconut head a few weeks back, here's the story.
>be me
>hanging out at the P.F Changs bar like usual
>see a very intoxicated looking homeless twink eyeing me from across the bar
>has a broken nose and pick marks all over his face
>homeless twink looks familiar
>realize twink is coconut head
>strike up conversation with twink
>ask him if he was coconut head
>twink says "i don't wanna talk about that part of my life"
>twink says he is poor and asks me to buy him a plate of Mongolian beef
>coconut twink ferociously eats the plate of mongolian beef, rice and all in a few minutes
>I leave to restroom, to take a piss
>I'm pissing at the urinal
>suddenly someone slaps my ass from behind
>i spray piss all over my brand-new Ed Hardy shoes
>turn around
>it's fucking coconut head
>he drags me into a stall
>starts deep throating like a little champ
>coconut stops sucking
>he looks up at me
>he says "i'll finish ya off for an andrew jackson"
>i hand him a 20
>he then pushes me away
>opens stall door and flees into the night
not even kidding
fucking coconut faggot didn't even finish me off
CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS
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Who just sucks someone's dick and doesn't finish him? Pure evil right there.
My dad works at Carl's Jr. He said Elon came to Carl's Jr. one day and he was a real dummy
Not to mention your obviously a fag for not swallowing, seriously it's not gay unless you refuse to swallow the load
straight guy here. I swallow the semen of every cock i suck. Its the only sane thing to do.
Coconut head must be a real sicko
Weird. Same thing happened to me but it was Drake Bell and in a Disneyland bathroom.
ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR PENISES, WORN OUT TESTICLES, WORN OUT PENISES
i got a letter from elon musk after proposing an idea for spacex and he wrote "haha no thanks faggot" and he gave me a copy of deal or no deal for the nintendo ds in the envelope with "no deal" circled in pen. there wasn't even a game inside the game case.
It demonstrates commitment and comfort within the realm of one's sexuality, not swallowing demonstrates hesitation and lack of confidence in your choices messing you're "worried" you might be a dag, meaning you most definitely are a dag. If you know 100% you're straight then it makes no difference to you when swallowing a load as you know it won't change your interests.
*meaning
My dad said the same thing. He said Elon came to Wetzels Pretzels one day and he was a real dummy
*fag
Holy shit this is the worst phone i have ever owned
>mom needs a hair cut
>she makes me go to the salon with her
>Walk in
>Immediately greeted
>"Hi I'm Nikki Blonsky from hairspray"
>Mfw
My dad said the same thing. He said Elon wrote him a letter one day and he was a real bully
FAKE NEWS
I mean he definitely looks twinkish
I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
My dads a 6'4 chef at Wendy's with a 9 inch cock and he said the same thing. He said Elon came into Wendy's one day and he was a real dummy.
Had a Tinder date with a local news reporter weekend just gone if that counts?
dide you suck her microphone?
>high school field trip at museum
>friends see Mr. and Mrs. Feeney
>discussion over whether or not it was really him
>one friend goes up to him and says "Excuse me, but did you play Mr. Feeney in Boy Meets World?"
>he pauses for a moment then walks away
>Mrs. Feeney very kindly says "Yes, he did."
Do musicians count?
I saw MC Hammer at LAX once. I saw him once at the security like showing his passport to security to get through. I asked security if that was MC Hammer and he said yes. Then once I got into the airport I went to MC Donald's and he was in there. A foreign couple's little kid dropped his happy meal toy and MC Hammer picked it up, gave it back to him, and said "hey little man, give me a high five", gave the little kid a five, and left. I asked the couple if they knew who that was and they said no they didn't know who MC Hammer was so I told them he was the guy who sings "Can't Touch This" and they were shocked. Pretty nice guy.
Met a comedian in real life once and he was a real jerk
I once met Eddie at an Eton gathering. Being an earl from Morocco, I am quite the tall and rich black man. I didn't know who he was yet, but he got drunk off 2 teaspoons of champagne. By 10 pm he was on my lap begging for my huge cock.
I told him no, you're drunk. I won't do that to you. The last girl to get fucked by me had to get 7 stitches. "Eddie stretches, sir," he whispered seductively into my eardrum. And how could I not fall victim to the charms of this slender flame-haired freckley boy?
I brought him back to my penthouse apartment. He wobbled around like a cute girl with untied shoelaces. He'd been dressed impeccably, a double-breasted velvet Armani and I helped soothe him out of his clothes as he stared at me with glassy eyes. Something about his red, swollen lips took possession of me. I felt incredible shame for the graphic imagery that leapt into my mind from seeing them.
I asked him, how many have had the pleasure to wipe crystalline tears from your eyes? How many have gotten close enough to count the dots on your face? Too many, sir, too many, he told me sadly. He clutched at me, grappling like kim kardashian and her dignity. I held his dainty hands in mine, and told him, it was time for me to destroy his anus. He nodded and said yes sir, please do.
"Eddie Redmayne, you drive me positively mad," I whispered as I mounted him like a big black bull and penetrated the tightest cavity I have ever known, narrower than a root canal. He cried prettily and I soothed him while continuing to ravage that oscar-winning anus. his ivory skin contrasted my ebony flesh perfectly and i thought, what a man! willing to subjugate himself for one night to a black person... he was incredible.
We parted ways when he crept out of my bed the next morning to attend a casting call. Joked about needing a wheelchair after I'd been through with him. I'd asked him to stay, but he shook his head elegantly and said I would see him again someday. But he wouldnt see me.
My dad is a construction worker and he said the same thing. He said Elon came into Ace Hardware one day and he was a real dummy.
My dad is a craft enthusiast and he said the same thing. He said Elon came to Hobby Lobby one day and he was a real dummy
Neggy, I'm seeing her again on the weekend though so we'll see how we go, in case you didn't know, Brisbane has top tier mainstream news reporters
I'm a muso myself so I've met a bunch here and there, mostly metal dudes, Phil Anselmo and Down, the Mastodon boys, Opeth and a few aussie singers.
Fun fact, met a girl years ago when I was 19 and she was like 32, tells me she was a big Pantera fan back in the day and somehow ended up backstage with the band after she went to one of their gigs when she was like 17. She fucked Dimebag and her friend she was with fucked Phil. Needless to say I had to fuck her after that, and I did.
>tl;dr my dick has been in the same hole/s as Dimbeag's
>she fucked Dimebag Darrell
How long ago was this and how old are you?
...
It was like 2003 and I was in a club in LA with a friend. Seth Green came up to us and started talking about hot asian girls. He really liked them. Wanted to know if the girls we had been talking to were with us.
He didn't really seem drunk or anything, but the thing I remember that seemed weird was he was wearing a Matrix-style trench coat..
Kek
My dad is a faggot and he never met Elon so I can't confirm if he is a dummy or not.
>I would see him again someday. But he wouldnt see me.
right in the feels
>earl
Uhhh, I think you mean Emir, Habibi
My dad said the same thing. He said Elon came to The Pizza Hut one day and he was a real dummy
my dad saw charles barkley at Chompies jewish deli in scottsdale in the 90's, he said he was a real dummy
i met Emma Watson several times
AMA
I met Jeanette McCurdy once. For real. It was really brief but had a good conversation
I remember this one time my mom brought this really really drunk guy home, not terribly unusual for our house. But what made this time memorable was that after she sent me to bed, just 5 minutes or so after, I hear her very loudly getting fucked. I wasn't entirely sure what fucking was at the time so instead of ignoring it, I walked into the hallway and toward my mother's room, to tell them to shut up. Amazingly, the door was wide open. I walk in. My mother's face is on the floor, face being rhythmically ground into the carpeting, hands futilely trying to lift herself off the ground, and the man was behind her, holding her legs wide apart, and rigorously jackhammering her cunt. She saw my feet as I entered the room, she looked up at me, horror in her eyes. "Wait! Hold on! Not in front of him!". But he just kept going. "I'm gonna show that little faggot of yours how a real man fucks a whore" he said.
That man, I later found out, turned out to be Mel Gibson
>I met Jeanette McCurdy once
I used to know her cousin, his name is Devin Barrus.We went to school together in Utah
He got arrested for sending nudes to kids, kek
based Mel
kek
I met a heavy metal frontman from a famous band once in a Dio concert.
my dad met Dio at an Irish pub in LA
Lmao
Did you learn anything?
He seemed to be the coolest guy in the planet. I bet he was very down to earth.
yeah, my dad said he talked with him for about 20 minutes. Dio autographed a napkin for him it said "Magic, Ronnie James Dio"
heh based
I saw sir Charles at a diner during lunch a month ago. I was walking to bathroom and he was walking out, nodded and said "Chuck" and he gave me a fist bump. Also to answer your question, yes I'm autistic
matthew Mcconaughey tapped me on the shoulder and side excuse me at a UT football game. I was drunk and in his way in the front row. When I turned around I was too blown away to say anything before he continued on his way. I was surprised how short he seemed compared to tv, also he was rocking a buzzcut at the time.
>yes I'm autistic
arnt we all
I saw Macaulay Culkin on Monday.
>gf and I were in the back/outdoor seating area of a Greek place
>enjoying our dinner
>see what looks to be a sad hipster step outside
>he's alone
>looks around confused
>stands at the entrance for a bit
>walks back inside
>when we left he was just eating alone
I was looking right at him, it was definitely him. It was kinda just sad. He looked way older than his age and just alone. Hope he's happy.
*** said excuse me, not side.
newfag here, can you explain this joke?
>can you explain this joke?
what joke? Drake lives at disney land, it is no joke to him
Was about 8 years ago I guess
Shit, user....
I had sex with a Puerto Rican whore, she was in a 2006 college issue of Playboy.
I now have Genital warts and I want to mcfucking kill myself.
I burned the coal, now I must pay the Toll
I saw Liam Nissan piss his pants in New York.
AMA
Mel proving once again that he is, without a shadow of a doubt, our guy
mail is our goy
Post her pic
You youngins these days act like a little STD is the end of the world.
Protip: It's not
Saw Damon Wayans at a club in Toronto like 15 years ago. I noticed him, slapped him way too hard on the shoulder (in a, "hey man how you doing" way, not aggressively), he stopped, glared at me for a second, then continued on. Lol I was really drunk
>Protip: It's not
but how am I supposed to explain the warts on my dick to a girl in the future?
I was an actor for a while. I snuck onto the set of The Disaster Artist when they were filming and followed James Franco around a little bit while he was dressed like Tommy Wiseau. Bonus Dave Franco was there as well (he's Mark). Didn't talk to either of them though.
I literally bumped into Guy Fieri while exiting a bathroom at a hotel near Disney Land.
He said "Sorry brotha" and kept going.
I was in a local healthy/expensive type supermarket here in Grand Rapids, Michigan (we have a lot of those) and I'm in line to buy some ham at the deli there. The lady asked me what kind, and I said "I have no fucking idea what different kinds of ham there are lady" ENTIRELY too loudly and the guy behind me in line I hadn't noticed burst the hell up laughing.
I turn around. Steve Martin.
He kinda half leans around me and says "Honey glazed!" to the lady over the counter and I just kinda stare at him for a sec then smile and say thanks. I'm about to pay for it and he says "No way this one's on me" and pays the check for it right there. I was astounded, it was so awesome that I did the only thing I could think of ... The Three Amigos salute. Once again he cracks up and asked me if I had any idea how long it had been since someone did that. I said "a year?" he said "try ten".
We ended up having coffee at a place across the street. Turns out he bought a house in Monticeto, a really expensive residential area in SB, and has been living there a while. We talked about everything that wasn't his career for about 45 minutes before he had to take off because his deli stuff was gonna go bad. I shook his hand and said he made my year today. He smiled and beat my head in with a tire iron. I looked up from the floor, my eyes covered in my own blood as I made out a blurry image of an anvil being hoisted above his head. Through the ringing in my ears I couldn't hear his probably witty parting line before the anvil came crashing down, ending my life.
That doesn't go well with the melody end your life
>That doesn't go well with the melody end your life
thats the point, newfag.
don't take Sup Forums so seriously, reddit-fag
Cuba Gooding Jr walked into the place and happily (drunkenly?) took selfies with almost everyone at the bar. I was sitting in the corner with my date and preferred to keep my attention on her.
Our drinks needed to be refreshed, so I went around where Cuba was waiting to be served. I said "Hey". Nothing. I lightly grabbed his shoulder and said, "Mr Gooding, I..."
He didn't look at me, but instead raised his hand up between us indicating that he wasn't in the mood for conversation.
Got my drinks and went back to my date. Feeling mildly embarrassed because I got shut down by an actor that hasn't had good work in more than 10 years
Flew into LAX from Portland for a work trip. Grabbed my bags and waited for my ride and realized I was standing next to Fred Armisen. Took a pic with him, nice guy. little fella
I also ran into Damien Lillard at costco.
Damn, Coconut Head looks like THAT?
da fuck is this shit?
some of us haven't owned more than one
no idea, a show about autistic 30 year olds in high school I suppose
>trap ASMR in recommended videos
how are these related?
boyfriend looks 30yo
I think that's just for you user, care to explain yourself?
>a show about autistic 30 year olds in high school I suppose
where is Drake Bell?
this story is crazy enough to actually be true. im sure ryan gosling is a huge tool in real life. stuff happens to your ego when practically every woman wants to fuck you
hehe, youtube just being silly I guess
did you ask him if jacko really did it?
things that didnt happen
>ASMR
things that did happen
Disneyland
saw Miranda Cosgrove at Disneyland. I was in line for Pirates of the Caribbean and my friend said "look, there's Miranda Cosgrove." so I say "let's go say hi" and he tells me that's not what youre supposed to do when you see celebrities, so I didnt and thats the end of the story
88th post best post
I'm famous in the Folk Punk community...no one recognizes me irl though
I smoked weed with an semi famous NBA player, he was a pretty chill bro
>weed
>NBA
>chill
>bro
he was a nigger
Where the fuck is this shit from
>Basketball American
FTFY
go to bed pat
Lmao what a fucking chump I hope your date saw that and didn't go home with you or talk to you ever again.
I gave up heroin for Sup Forums.
I wish I could go back to heroin, but the Sup Forums addiction is too strong.
memes will be my senile ramblings
loved the netflix song/album bruv
>memes will be my senile ramblings
best of luck in your senior years user. I hope life works out for you.
Liberty is Death