Oh oh

oh oh

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Is there a reason cops don't just follow a guy like this around all day?

Like half of Artie's profession is to go on the radio and brag about all the drugs he's constantly buying and doing.

wow what a shocker, not like I haven't seen that one coming for the past fucking decade

I thought he was great on Crashing, poor guy. Howard Stern must be thrilled though.

How is this guy still alive?

How will he spin it to make it Howard's new producer's fault?

Who

I would legitimately be more surprised to find out he doesn't have some on him every time he leaves his place, including trips to the mailbox.

Didn't he say he was clean recently?

oh noooooooo artieeeeeeee

seriously nigga?

Technically should've died a few times already but ya know medical science is cool and all.

He walks around wearing a mini defibrillator because his heart can randomly slow down and cause him to pass out

childhood is sympathizing with artie

adulthood is realizing dana was right

No money to be made of it and no real danger to society. The reason police target lower income /minority drug users because they're more likely to cause a violent issue, and more usable by the privately-owned prison system. Chasing some well-off burnout who can just post bail and is more likely to kill himself by OD'ing is a waste of time.

That sucks, I actually liked him on Stern.

>..Hey Gare, it's Artie...

Goddamn he looks older than Jackie.
How long can he possibly have left

Thank God this dangerous criminal is off the streets. I feel safer already.

artielange67 My old man was born on St. Patrick's Day 1943 in Newark NJ. He died Feb 1 1990. Too soon. Happy Bday Pops. My friend

>I'm sick as a dog *cough*

would you be able to make it today?

>mfw I was on Sup Forums during his suicide attempt
he's still alive :P

I'm shocked. Would have never seen it coming.

And just when he got his biggest break in years co-starring on a hilarious new HBO show.

I love him and its so sad but we've been through it a million times. Fuck.

youtu.be/bF9dLVeP2DI

>cocaine and heroin
>still doing speedballs in your 50s

how is that possible?
those things killed River Phoenix and he was only 23

I think one's body and tolerance just adjusts to it. But yea, he looks fucking awful these days.

Is sour shoes insane or a genius? Or is it two sides of the same coin?

>no dirty work 2
shame

youtube.com/watch?v=zynbbB6Y16o

youtube.com/watch?v=_RYPXnBm-E8

he's certainly an actual genius but it's tough to tell how much of his insanity is an act, he can, when he chooses me "normal" and social

he has the constitute of a cow

sour shoes is boring as fuck

hurr durr he played an old song
who fucking cares

guy is a loser. always has been a loser and always will be a loser

is't he like a millionaire

>Grrrrrrrrrrrrruh! Grrrrrrreeeeee! Grrrrrrreeeeee!Grrrrrrrrrrrrruh! Grrrrrrreeeeee!..................... Grrrrrrreeeeee! Grrrrrrrrrrrrruh! Grrrrrrreeeeee! Grrrrrrreeeeee! Grrrrrrrrrrrrruh! Grrrrrrreeeeee! Grrrrrrreeeeee!....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Grrrrrrrrrrrrruh! Grrrrrrreeeeee!.................................. Grrrrrrreeeeee!

What an awful opinion. His skill w/ a recollection of music is amazing, but besides that his absolute acumen on impressions is eerie.

sour shoes is dumb and i wish everyday he is the next "wack packer" that dies an insufferable death.

Can it be that it was all so simple then?

youtu.be/7jR7_WiHI1g

no

his net worth is like $12m

>releases content under the name 'artie quitter'
you dont tell everyone youre clean to that point when you are
thats like me using the name 'user not suicidal'
ha ha
right?

crazy times

highly doubt it

he made like $3m/year on while on Stern.

i hope howard talks about this

This piece of shit should have croaked 20 years ago when he was relevant.

He could have been D list Chris Farley and not just a disgusting pile of dogshit

Quién?

Less than 10% of all prisons are private and prisoners literally request transfers to go to private prisons because better standards

I swear to God reddit needs to all die

it was a million year i think. he's also a drug addict and gambler

Shit that's right. He was supposed to start a new show with Apatow. Well so much for that. Can't wit to hear Howard talking about this next week.

Stern talks about him? I thought he stopped.

go back to /r/the_donald you (((alt-lite))) pleb

Not that user but he makes a lot of money doing shows.

> Curisously, he had fifteen dollars in his wallet and was picked up on his way to the Queensboro Bridge

He did start it, it's 3 episodes in

Best of Artie

youtube.com/watch?v=axoMkmE5o_A

NJ is now a safer place, you can walk out now ,user.

>Less than 10% of all prisons are private

Lol what the fuck is this nonsense?

Any drop in the use of private prisons was due to Obama's justice department phasing them out which has now been reversed by Jeff Sessions and the Trump administration.

>prisoners literally request transfers to go to private prisons because better standards

Reputable source?

Artie's life from beginning to his soon to be end is the most tragic shit ever

>Father falls off a roof and becomes a quad when he's only 18
>Spent the next few years doing drugs and alcohol to forget it
>Finally gets a big chance with MAD TV
>Attempts suicide because he ran out of coke
>Gets kicked off the show because of it
>Spent years doing stand up until he finally landed a job on the Stern show
>Making a shit ton of money on the radio for a few hours a day and doing stand up on the side
>Start doing heroin and missing the show for days on end
>Stern gets angry and starts to question if he should fire him
>Years of shooting dope and drinking booze finally pushes him to stab himself nine times in the gut
>Survives that miraculously and spends a year in a mental institution
>Finally get clean and get offered another high paying radio gig
>Soon to be fiance leaves him and causes him to relapse again
>All his friends from the Stern show won't talk to him and Howard won't even acknowledge him
>Now spending his short time here snorting coke and dope, while rambling on and on about how Howard won't talk to him

It feels like God is keeping him alive just to torture him so more

Holy shit I forgot Artie looked like that. I got used to his old bloated state.

He's a fat fuck, shit raises his tolerance.

>shooting dope
I don't think he ever shot it, just snorted it.

I doubt he's been using as long as he has and never tried shooting it. Only casuals snort, and he doesn't seem like a casual.

some guys just seem to be able to handle anything they put into themselves. it's like those centenarians that smoke and drink until they're 110

well he could be lying, but he did say he hated needles. Plus he'd look like total shit if he used to shoot up.

he sounds emotionally weak

Somehow I know this is Opie's fault.

But then again he used to say last time he did cocaine was in 1997.

>>Finally gets a big chance with MAD TV
>>Attempts suicide because he ran out of coke
>>Gets kicked off the show because of it


Artie's pig story is epic while shooting a stupid skit for MadTv. I don't believe he embellished it at all.

youtube.com/watch?v=cD6pYH0-GbQ

youtube.com/watch?v=M5XJRlewwjM

I think Norm stopped talking to him because he didnt like him telling gambling stories about him.

I HEAR TJ MILLER IS ALSO IN SOME SHIT, SEXUAL ASSAULT OF HIS DRIVER?

CRASHING IS CURSED

You are doubting just how much heroin and coke he's been buying user.

man, living in a LA and being in the show business must be a blast

The real victims are his mother and sister. He should have a team employed to keep him clean at all times.

like him or not, imagine how far this guy could have gone if he had stayed clean, i mean he did alright with a walking heroine habit, and as someone who knows a few addict, thats fucking incredible.

>tfw leftists are such cucks for BBC they get mad when a company hires themselves out to the government to care for their bulls

youtube.com/watch?v=DG55kNjO1Vs

I haven't listened to Howard in years. Is it any good anymore?

I read his memoir Too Fat to Fish and he says that he drove around LA while in the pig costume looking for coke. When he got it he started snorting it through the make up and completely damaged it
When he got back on the set he told his co-stars to fuck themselves after they got upset at him

Always an addict

beer league was a classic

I remember having that sent over while i was deployed to Iraq, we were in the read so we had like a day room with a big TV, put that movie in and you've never seen some soldiers laugh so hard.

PURPLE MONKEY MAN

>I haven't listened in years
>theres your answer

Artie is respectful of the cops EVERY time he is arrested. Cops appreciate that shit.

I read it too. I have his book here somewhere. It was a good read. Do you remember his arrest story?

youtube.com/watch?v=k0A4E_qzHNk

Yeah. He's gotta be close to his 9th life by now.

for a guy that should've died in his early 30's you have to give him credit, he's almost 50

He looks like a skid row bum, or some trailer park guy on disability. Christ man, he's had every opportunity in the world to not end up like that.

Rodney Dangerfield was still doing drugs as an old man. I don't think Artie will make it past 60 but stranger things have happened.

> Lange's father died from complications of an infection in 1990,[3][10] though he believes one of his father's "crazy friends" may have helped him to commit suicide.

Artie always had the best anecdotes

Can't wait for his third book which will be released sometime this year

It isn't. He's delusional but his producer is a piece of shit that has ruined his show, that's a fact. The show is a pile of puke that has been reduced to the worst, a parade of scared sycophants placating Howard's ego. The difference is that the show (i.e.- the writing staff) used to know what funny was. Now, the show is a shell. There used to be real human comedy. It's just lost its way. Nothing else worth listening. It's over.

youtu.be/9wOyTGfa6eo

What impressed me were his quick, ball busting jokes. He was fast. If you attacked him he would kill you with insults

It's really sad when Jim is postin on 4 chan.

F

"Good luck, bro"

PRAISE ALLAH

what is this book going to be about, like what has he not covered

This made me chuckle and by the end I was genuinely heartbroken

I though Dan Falato was supposed to be taking care of him. Guess he had to go to back to Chicago to stop at a Cock Robin.

awful post but checked