Tfw no cartel gf to kill me and have sex with my corpse

>tfw no cartel gf to kill me and have sex with my corpse

I guess i wasn't meant to be, lads.

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>she was tied up and fed a single taco per day

top kek, hopefully it was an al pastor taco

>No Mexican QT to rape and execute

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3664253/Mexican-model-23-gunned-family-masked-gunman-stormed-home-targeted-hit.html

>tied up and fed one taco per day

THis is a horseshit story. She probably trying to get a movie deal or some horseshit.

>she was tied up and fed a single taco per day
is this the mexican version of water-boarding?

When i read that i realized the whole article was satire.

That or its a dumb bimbo female criminal looking for some more street cred.

This chick is full of shit
A failed lookout is executed and not punished with some weak taco a day bullshit
You can tell that to her one small meal a day and being tied up is something she came up with because that's the most horrible shit her mind could think up. The cartel would not do this if members were caught and product captured by a failed lookout, beheading minimum.

Jésus Christ that's brutal, whats the story?

it becomes more funny the more I think about it
she's literally living in a shit hole where people are being picked apart like lego figures and the most fucked-up thing she can think of when being interviewed? only being served one (1) taco per day

Those are real mexican hitwomen gettting killed in revenge. Well two of them are confirmed sicario's.

>were caught and product captured by a failed lookout, beheading minimum

No just a bullet. Beheadings are reserved for those who you want to make an example out of.

>people believe this shit

Which is exactly what you want for your failed lookouts, you don't want this shit to ever happen

Shes pretty hot, id totally let her decapitate and rape me

Fucking brutal. But also who just sits there and let's their head be slowly cut off? Make a run for it or try to fight them. What's the worst they'll do, shoot you?

I'd say come for your family and do the exact same thing to them?
So it's either accept your fate and let them live or do something stupid and have them do this to your wife and kids in front of you

I think I once read online that they drug them
Combine that with the days of nonstop torture prior to their execution and I'm guessing at that point they just want a way out and dying provides that

Yea I'm not gonna believe some dude slowly cutting my head off is gonna keep his word not to fuck with my family. They have no rules, only what's convenient to them

Christ Paco, be careful what you wish for. I'd be careful about saying that too loud and I'm not in the damn country with her.

Surprisingly enough some of them do have rules
El Chapos cartel as a rule won't kill innocent women and children and if they do the member that did faces consequences.
All the horror stories you normally hear are the smaller rival cartels trying to add shock value to their name to gain ground via fear

You can get erect after being beheaded? It sounds like something a leftist would do.

>erections
>possible after being beheaded

How do you fuck a headless corpse?
Their dick would not be hard at all.

Perhaps it's my eyesight but I'm fairly sure her rifle doesn't have rear sights.

The thing that gets me about this Cartel videos is that the shit they use to cut of their victims heads are always so fucking dull and shit. God damn even ISIS is able to chop off a dudes head in a single blow usually, why are wetbacks so inefficient at killing?

Only plebs use dicks

How does female-on-male necrophilia work? I don't imagine an erection is possible on a corpse

No need for rear sights when the gun is a toy replica/only used for point blankexecution

>die a virgin
>get laid right after

She's bullshitting, human blood is toxic

Unless other cartel members die or a load is lost due to her failing to report she won't die. They usually have different punishments. Some Zetas hit your ass with a plank while other starve and tie you up for a day. Don't talk about thing you don't know brah brah.

>what is rigor mortis

>be wizard
>cast spell to become lich and come back from death
>whore who killed you saps your mana

Oh ffs America you can't be that stupid

>taking women at their word

I bet she hasn't even seen combat.

Looks like my ex, weird. German/Puerto Rican though

>>taking women at their word
This, women are jews, always do the opposite of what jews say.

>combat

What a waste of a female hitman.

You fuck the target, then get him while he sleeps.

it's to make it painful man

They use dull blades on purpose because it makes the scene more gruesome. ISIS do the same thing, because it makes normies 1000% more horrified if there's 3 minutes of blood and hacking and sawing compared to 10 seconds for something quick and clean like a guillotine.

Quick Sup Forums. You're tied up and given one taco to eat per day. Your captors have allowed you to chose what type of taco to eat.

What kind of taco is it?

she wears a strap-on

What a charming young lady

BUILD MORGUE

the kind of taco that is more than one taco
checkmate cartels

So her boyfriend must feel like shit.

>Get cucked by dead bodies

or

>learn gf fantasizes about cucking you with dead bodies.

I know brah

I'm an expert in this

The biggest punishment the cartel can hand out is going on with life as a filthy unwashed Mexican

The Mexican understanding of Christianity is Satanism.

I'd have sex with that headless body

Pink Taco

>she was tied up and fed a single taco per day

>I will never get to eat this taco
;__;

You are thinking about that decision while you are in a safe spot on the computer, imagine being on your knees with a gun to your head and any sign of resistance is met with lethal force. I doubt the executioners tell them they are going to be slowly beheaded, they are probably just hoping to make it out of there alive

this would make a good metal gear solid character

More proof that mexicans are subhuman, satanic garbage and their entire evil nation should be nuked.

that one line blew that whole thing apart

I bought a box of 12 the other day and mixed and matched.
Cool ranch and nacho cheese are the best ones

It's overrated. I ate one years ago and haven't eaten one since.

Oh my God that must have been so embarrassing for the guy with the axe.

Someone make the picture please!
>you can go but you have to eat this taco first...

Gotta keep dat figure in check

>she was tied up and fed a single taco per day
I'm sorry...! I can't take this seriously anymore.

>What's the worst they'll do

Drop you into a barrel of acid, for one.

> (OP)
>>she was tied up and fed a single taco per day

A taco a day keeps Los Federalès away

>picked apart like lego figures

mfw they get me riding my motorcycle

Lengua Tacos

>tied up and fed a taco a day.
Could be worse. Maybe an improvement over how much I can afford to eat now. If they gave me some books too, could be ok.

>Cool ranch
That's one of those american flavours, I don't think anyone actually likes it here.

I actually don't like hard-shell tacos. But I love (cheese or hot) Doritos. I'd like to try one.

ONE

>liberals are fighting against a man trying to build a wall to keep these people out

This girl was a Brazilian drug dealer responsible for 50 murders, maybe more. She used to control a place called Red Hill, that's why the red hair.
Why I'm posting this? I'm starting to believe in the Aposematism thing.

What the fuck is that?
Why the tortilla is a fucking dorito?
How can you call it a taco when that shit is hard as fuck and would probably break to pieces after the first bite?

Liberals are mentally ill. They are going to get all of us killed.

Everyday, You guys never cease to crack me up, Well memed my friends

Why don't they ever do it right?

How cruel do you have to be?

>Why don't they ever do it right?
Because it's done wrong on purpose so the death is more awful and the message stronger.

It is actually quite soft. they are pretty damn good and always sell out so you can only get them when the next delivery comes in.

The guy with the axe should be decapitated as well. That's embarrassing.

absolute savages!

yanks should be embarassed they allow such savageness on their continent...invade and civilize the scum!

>being decapitated and fucked by gang members with your rigor mortis boner

surely there's a metal song out there about this

Why are all these mexican beheading webms always done to already dead bodies? They don't want to do it when they're alive or what?

No you behead someone who was a murderer and killed or tortured people you knew.

Depends on who is killing you. Depends on what you did to them for them to be chopping your head off.

delet

Kek
That's so sad

because only one guy was really good at it but then someone cut his head off.

The Cartels should take some notes from the middle east.Middle easterners know how decapitate efficiently

looks like they didnt let him walk away

Mexico is on the same continent as the Yanks

In the last decade what region of the world has the highest head count?

>only one guy was really good at it but then someone cut his head off
Do you think his last thoughts were him being disappointed that the guy cutting his head off sucks at doing it?

well fucking invade them and kill the cartels and drag those cunts into the 1st world like we did with india

you need that fuckin wall m8

From all the stories and stuff they seem to have a similar love for torture as just about ever society did just a handful of centuries back.

why do they kill the women, its not like they are rival cartel leaders.

How does a woman have sex with a dead body? There's no erection... Someone explain plz

>tfw her eyes are still moving after her head gets cut off.

>trump unironically wants to deport this

Wew lad

So like a double decker taco?

This is actually common. Even ejaculations. But in 5 seconds, a last reflex.

>implying a woman can't have a penis

I'm not sure what year you think you're in, user, but it's 2016.