Bilbo puts on ring

>Bilbo puts on ring
>suddenly understands spider-talk

What was up with that anyway?

basically a case of pic related

Also, exoskeletons can't support creatures that large. The surface area to volume ratio means that the inside of the spider would become too heavy for the exoskeleton to support unless is was extremely thick. Also, arachnids breathe through pores in their abdomens, so it is doubtful that enough air would be able to diffuse into a creature that large effectively.

interesting, was there anything else from lord of the rings that wasn't realistic?

>He listened. The Orcs from the tunnel and the others marching down had sighted one another, and both parties were now hurrying and shouting. He heard them both clearly, and he understood what they said. Perhaps the Ring gave understanding of tongues, or simply understanding, especially of the servants of Sauron its maker, so that if he gave heed, he understood and translated the thought to himself.

kek

The giant talking trees had beards. There is no biological reason for trees to grow beards.

btfo

holy shit how will he ever recover?

we used to have large arachnids on earth, because there was more oxygen in the atmosphere. Presumably, middle-earth's atmosphere has a much higher oxygen content and its denizens have evolved accordingly.

The villian's name was Sauron. His sidekick was named Sauron-man. Yeah, that's not very realistic, only confusing.
BRAVO HACKSON!

>hobbits are normal sized people
>men and elves are actually giants

Aragorn's tax code

...

Goes back to Melkor and his deal with Ungoliant you fucking illiterate cunt

The Ring, being forged by one of Melkors minions for pure evil, would naturally carry some of his DNA in it which would certainly include the ability to talk to giant fucking spiders.

God damn savage

btfo

It's hard to think of one from the top of my head, but the fact that the hobbits never let their beards grew is pretty unrealistic. Surely Sam and Frodo didn't have razors with them on their trip. Or maybe hobbits don't have facial hair at all.

metal can't house dna

Nor can it mind control people but it did didn't it.

...

See, this is what happens if you only watch Hackson's flicks and don't read the books like myself.

platinum can

well not 'DNA' so much as power or presence, since as a God of evil Melkor is in most evil creatures, magics and works. Which is why when the ring is destroyed everything wrought by Sauron like Mordor is destroyed.

Everyone (probably just one guy judging by the unique poster counter) keeps responding to 80933914 as if he "blew me the fuck out" when in fact I presented scientific evidence and he only made a lazy post alluding to the unscientific nature of fantasy, which of course JRR Tolkien himself addressed in his essay On Fairy-Stories.

So no, I have not been blown the fuck out. You're simply ignorant, both of Tolkien and also of the facts.

You know what I meant.

(You)

Achsutually, 100s of millions of years ago insects did used to be that big, because there was so much more oxygen in the air.

Perhaps lotr universe has higher oxygen, it would explain a lot.

hey martin you fucking hack
still riding tolkien's coattails eh

It wouldn't explain why Hobbits are so tiny then though

Interesting, can you present more "scientific facts" regarding LOTR?

HOLY HEK, KEK!

include me in the screencap

>lotr
>scientific evidence

Never understood why they had the same name.

>please stop BTFOing me

Cool autism bro

>I dislike equally any pull towards 'scientification', of which this expression is an example. Both modes are alien to my story. We are not exploring the Moon or any other more improbable region. No analysis in any laboratory would discover chemical properties of lembas that made it superior to other cakes of wheat-meal.

they're tree-men you mook

>we are not exploring the Moon
>elfs literally travel there in spaceships

The one ring is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural.

btfo

...

The ring translates all fell beasts as they are creatures of Sauron's influence.

Does the ring effect each race in different ways? We know it makes hobbits invisible and sauron gains 100% buff. What would it do to the average ork or dwarf?

Kek

Riveting, do go on.

Tell that to my sexbot I put my DNA into most nights

Sauron's influence? don't you mean Morgoth's influence

Morgoth subcontracted like 99% of his bioengineering to Sauron so they are Sauron's influence too.

So what the fuck is the ring exactly? And why would you make a thing that would kill you if it ever (predictably) got destroyed?

The One Ring is a power amplifier. In addition to somewhat increasing Sauron's personal abilities to dominate his allies and subdue his enemies, it let him totally control the wearers of the other Rings of Power. He intended to use it to control the Elves. Unfortunately, he failed to anticipate that they would simply take their own rings off.

The One Ring is not actually a weakness since it is much more durable than Sauron himself. The Ring survived the destruction of Númenor that destroyed Sauron's original physical body, and indeed Sauron probably would have lost his ability to manifest physically forever if he hadn't created the Ring.

The only weakness that the One Ring creates is that losing it is really bad for Sauron, since someone powerful and unethical enough could use it against Sauron, but he never anticipated losing it since its loss would only happen if he were defeated completely anyway.

Thanks