How do I die without causing grief to my family? I can't take it anymore I've been fucking up everything since I was born. 19 years of living and not one worthy achievement.
"Friends" are starting to hate me, Dad's losing hope on me, I myself don't enjoy living. I'm not even sure if this is a plea for help or what, I just want the pain to go away.
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Go work for a charity and move overseas, it'll get you away from your family while making you look like a saint
Your people have a solution
Sounds good, I could join up with my uncle since he's also in volunteering work. Maybe yeah, I need some time out.
One of these days probably. I have doubts on Borderline PD but I have to use my own time and money for a diagnosis since my parents don't believe in mental illness.
Make a fucking life for yourself user, what the fuck have you got to lose? If you die trying then it's a good way to go.
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you know what to do OP
Only thing stopping me is my confidence. Like, I'll be okay enough to do something and then fuck it up and I'll feel down for the rest of the day.
But you're right, ain't got nothing to lose. I've got nothing nor own anything but I guess I'm not selfish enough to kill me. I still think about my family, my lil bro. The more I type the heavier my heart feels.
serve in a foreign legion, no wait, buy a ticket to Irak and fight Daesh
that idea's been lingering in my mind for months actually
like, i've always had a fascination with war and guns, maybe i should go for it as my last action
but I doubt any group wants a brownier foreigner like me
kurds are trying to get a chunk of land for their own country
imagine seeing how a foreigner comes to help you build your country, while fighting those Daesh sickfucks
biji kurdistan aye
but i'll prolly fuck up and end up shooting myself in the leg or mess up a grenade throw and allahu akbar myself
lord give me strength
The world is your oyster
Sacrifice yourself for Allah.
one of these days, i'm gonna put some citrus on it and enjoy the world
but today's no it, today the oyster is rotten, full of grits and sand, probably has high levels of mercury too
what i'm saying is I'm scared
not muslim but sure
19 is not that old, there's still lots of time
Take a course in programming and turn your "I just sit in front of my computer all day", into "I sit in front of my computer working on a solo project".
Most people learning programming start from scratch around your age, I was 21 when I did, and now, 2 years later I've got a stable job and a wife, it's absolutely not impossible.
thank you for your advice, swede-bro
you know, I think that'd be perfect for me
Currently a culinary student and after 2 semesters I seriously can't handle the pressure inside and outside the kitchen. Maybe I could really turn my life around with this :)
All I can say is that when you reach 30, the feeling of your pic doesn't change. Pretty accurate.
As for your question, you can't.
Thought about it and if you kill yourself, there will be people who will run through your things and see how shitty a person you are, will have to clean you up, take care of all the mortuary stuff.
Even in death, we will bore and annoy people.
Disappearing is the stuff. Lost all my friends I had I schools highschool uni and work like that. You just stop communicating and if you can move far away, do it.
It won't stop. It never will. It doesn't get better and things don't light up.
Life is shit and anyone telling you otherwise is lying.
pro-tip: just have slow, calm body language and talk in a low, slow but loud voice. You dont ever have to say a lot of words to be a cool person. Also dont draw any attention to your mistakes or bad qualities. Chef is a good profession and not worth giving up on
>19 years of living and not one worthy achievement.
Weeeell, then you have 60 years more to go and try. One day you'll have some luck.
Also people who hate you aren't your friends.
>Life is shit and anyone telling you otherwise is lying
You need to get help. This is severe depression talking out of you. I know because I have been there done that.
Life is wonderful. You just need to fight for it.
You're a fucking child still, don't expect so much from yourself or from the world. You have lots of time to do great things in your life. Some people are complete fuck ups until age 30 or even 40 and then find a way to turn everything around. Don't give up.
You tell him Hans, it's a fucking struggle, nobody said life is supposed to be easy.
Just mention weed.
im 19 and hate my life too. no friends and my dad has given up on me.
not gonna take my own life tho, that's stupid. you'll learn to not give a fuck someday
Yeah, I've been described like that in the kitchen
>calm
>cool
>relaxed
I have no idea how they're not seeing me panicking my shit
Sometimes we have a simulated service test and if I'm managing, I'd have a slow start and quickly build up once we've started lunch
My instructor said "user, early on it was shit, I don't know what or where were you, spacing out and all but halfway you did good and found your pace"
But yeah, you're right I should at least give this a shot before dropping it and starting something new.
I tried. Went to the doc. Started asking questions about depression, trying to ask him if I had some of the symptoms, thinking that as a doc, he would at least direct me towards some kind of soluce.
Nope. He told me
>It's stress
Funnily enough, my mother's doc told him the same thing. Turned out it was cancer and she died of it, treatment started too late.
I should know better, I did one year of medschool and even though I had shit marks, it made me see what kind of people were going to be MDs.
Spoiler : whores and assholes.
What do you define depression as? Every online test and article tell me I've been depressed... Forever. What are the key points in your opinion ?
True true, I can't really blame society when I was the one who dissapeared. I've started realizing though, change must come from the individual and once I myself am sorted out, I can help the collective.
Made the post when I was super down, I have doubts about Borderline Pd but I dare not say anything yet. Right now I'm super stoked about life I've even made a plan and schedule on how to fix myself.
Yessir, nothing is given. We ourselves have to strive for what we want.
Took a vitamin, a painkiller, and an antipscyhotic earlier
Thanks, Ameri-bro
I've been looking for a higher purpose to start fixing my life and I think I'll just be a humanitarian. Like, help people and stuff. I have a thing going on this Thursday where I help our local aboriginals for Children's Day and I'm pretty excited bout it :)
How long will you not give a fuck, Dane-bro? There's gotta be something you want to aspire to be
Wow had the same happened to me too. Was suicidal and went to the school councilor but she just told me to "do ablutions and pray to God"
Sufficed to say it didn't work
I never got why people would kill themselves.
So if you die, you obviously don't give a shit. Like, about anyone. 'cause if there is anyone who loves you, you don't give a FUCK about them, or hurting them, and if there's not, there's no one to give a shit about.
So instead of killing yourself why don't you just get the fuck out? Leave the basement, leave your house, leave the mother fucking country. Go on an adventure. Spend your time doing something awesome, like tracking down some terrorists. Go be James Bond. Go fuck up a shark with a harpoon. Danger? Fuck that, you were going up against 100% death rate before, you're being safe now. Fuck everything man the world is your oyster.
Sometimes I wish I was suicidal. I'd pull the barrel out of my mouth and point it in the air, start a revolution, LIVE. Move to Barcelona or Rome or Berlin, hit the bars, band some chicks. STD's who fucking gives a shit?
And then when I'm done, maybe I wouldn't want to kill myself, 'cause I've seen how beautiful the world really is.
tl;dr: OP is a faggot
Yeah. Religion help some people but I think we've fallen into a part of the well that even God's rope doesn't reach.
Counselor are liars and can't know what you think or live.
I fucked my post-graduation cursus because of them.
So now I have a shit job as well.
Larp as a rohyinga and go to yurop
nope i am done with life, everything i've been told is a lie and no matter how much i'll try it will never be enough. so fuck it. suicide is a sin so i'll just have to wait. religion imo is the only thing we have
Just kill yourself who cares what happens after you're dead, you'll be fucking dead.
>19 years of living
It's always cute to read these posts where someone is young as fuck and thinks their life is over and irredeemable and are considering suicide. My "favorite" are the guys who are like "This is it for me I don't have a gf and I'm already 18!!!"
The longer you stay alive the more you won't give a fuck even if your life isn't just peachy. Think of what you want to do instead of what people want you to do and focus on that. Why waste your one chance at life when it hasn't even properly begun yet? You'll be dead for an eternity and there's no coming back from that so might as well make the most of life.
I used to feel really lost because I'm an introvert and at a similar age felt like life was not gonna work out for me because everyone wanted me to be social all the time. Now I'm 38, work from home, rarely see family but am on alright terms with them, go outside not for people but just to enjoy the outdoors almost every day, chat with online friends every day, put all my free time into whatever activity I want. People will tell me I'm wasting my life because I have zero interest in family/relationships but really I'm having a good time because I'm doing exactly what I want and not what is expected of me.
talk is cheap
being depressed and suicidal just messes with your psyche so you can't function as a human bean or even have the motivation to do anything
Your mind starts feeling clouded and your heart sinks and feels heavy. Your brain's constantly on a loop of self-loathing "You're worthless, No one likes you, Just kill yourself"
tl; dr: Depression's bad m'kay?
Good luck in your life, french-bro
Can't, too chinese-looking
Isn't sloth a sin too?
>love thyself
True, this is what I want to do too. Not planning for a family, hate kids, have my own time, etc. I'm that kind of guy who likes trying new things and then stay with that thing forever if it interests me.
Shit actually makes me "punch the wall, scream at someone" mad if I don't like it and I'm forced to do it over and over.