> be me > average whytedood.ico > have wife > agree to initiate maritalsex.exe > sign & initial each others copies of terms & conditions as well as legal consent forms > go to bedroom, turn off lights and pull drapes > wife lies on bed, planks on her back with arms by her sides > i undress down to underwear and socks > approach wife with hands in the air, declaring my intention for agreed concensual coitus > allow penis to emerge from gap in y-fronts > clench buttocks, part wife's pubic bush and attempt to enter her > vagina.dll has not reached optimum moisture levels > attempt to arouse wife, inform her that I will be visiting the post office later to buy stamps > operation successful, enter vagina > gently thrust for 76 seconds whilst not making eye contact > have orgasm > mfw