This is a Brazilian legend

>This is a Brazilian legend

OHHHOHOHOHOHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAANONONONONONONOONONONON

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yeah that's what's called a target man dumbass. he's supposed to be big.

THICC

But seriously, please don't talk shit about Goatnaldo.
thanks

>braZILLION pounds

>American making excuses for Rotundo

literally can't make this up

The joke
Your head

I find it baffling that such an elite footballer can end up being so fat.

>Americans being in charge of humour

Well, when your country has a lot of great food it's hard not to be fat.

Not that you would know anything about that.

Not really desu. There always were and willbe footballers with an unhealthy lifestyle (smoking, alcoholism etc.)

Not saying he did lead a healthy lifestyle, but he also has hypothyroidism so it was particularly hard for him to not gain weight

Should have tried harder, it was that lack of conviction that lead to him being such a failure

Didn't he have some kind of disease or something that fucked up his hormone?

>starts a shitty thread and gets shitty banter
stupid kiwi

i wonder which footballers are big potheads

>Only way to respond is to dive deep into his reaction folder

el o el

Is this real?

Not him, but why are you so obsessed with a retired Brazilian?

What did he do to you?

>have to spend 20 years eating right and keeping fit as part of your job
>finally don't have to do it anymore

Or in other cases

>eat like a pig on a daily basis
>have a good metabolism and constantly be working out
>retire but keep your eating habits

>shit thread
>shit banter
Why did you even try?

A healthy lifestyle isn't really something you can drop like that. It's difficult to change your attitude and start eating healthily, similarly it's difficult to start being unhealthy when you've spent so long eating healthily.

>I ate Zidane

never gets old

Yeah it is.
>start drinking more booze with your time off
>doing less exercising, no longer have to attend team practice
>keep eating the fuckload of food that was necessary for caloric intake

daaaamn whose mans is that

The man is so beloved in his home country that he can score ace pussy for the rest of his life regardless of what he looks like. He's wealthy and content, the perfect fat man.

This

He’s rich and famous and retired young so he probably hits 10/10 bunda daily and eats whatever he wants

how about gazza?
some become fat, some become addicts
shit happens

Go kiwi, show us what a real legend looks like. Oh right!
>you have none

This

A happy fat man who's fully made it is what peak performance looks like

I think the 'British food is shit' meme is overblown. Yes their cuisine isn't as good as some countries but they have some GOAT dishes like fish and chips, sunday roast or eton mess.

If you want an example of a truly horrific cuisine look at a country like Iceland

>like fish and chips


Literally just fried fish and French fries. You can get that literally anywhere in america and it probably tastes better.

The depressing part is that even in this condition, he would still destroy any defense that Sup Forums's best players on could put up.

why is he wearing a reál shirt? surely he didn’t play for them in this state of affairs

Charity match

your country doesnt have any cuisine

>let me tell you sumfing about cuisines la

>amerimutt "cuisine"

>100 million americans dont even have "dental insurance"

chances are your teeth are more fucked than ours lmao.

>mfw /hoc/

>there is nuffin wrong wif Bri'ish teef i tell you

American fries are awful compared to proper fat chips.

>It is estimated that 108 million Americans have no dental insurance, and that one in four nonelderly Americans has untreated tooth decay.

why can't amerimutts into dentistry?

>there is only one kind of french fry in America


A Nigel like you wouldn't know good flavor even if it fucked your mom

youtube.com/watch?v=91Eg7nzBPqw

this nigga got no chin senpai. Ffs.

You have no native cuisine and your "food" consists of reclaimed meat, pink slime, high fructose corn syrup and milk filled with pus that's so disgusting, it's banned in the EU.

>You have no native cuisine


It's another britbong doesn't know jack shit episode.

shitposting aside, how neglectful a parent do you have to be to let things get this fucking bad? 20 fucking years? Or is it just that the whole "brush twice a day" autism is uniquely American and other countries aren't as attentive to dental hygiene?

>tries to tell us about our cuisine
>gets buttmad when we do the same

hes 100% correct tho, most americans subsist on essentially swill

processed meat and sugary bread and synthetic rubbish hence why you have such a colossal obesity problem

now lets hear you respond by talking about muh craft beer or muh niche cheeses or muh fancy restaurants in big cities which a tiny fraction of the population go to, as if this made up for the millions of americans eating bologna and chocolate cereal and chlorinated chicken

>Patient Hasn't Brushed Teeth In 20 Years
this shit has to be fake

You don't even have teeth Nigel so I don't care about the tastiest semen soups in the UK

Fuck off m8. You faggots eat giant rats.

EL TERROR DEL BRASIL! El gordo monstro...

>The Buffet Bandit
>The Terror of Tiramisu
>The Count of Calories
>The Scoffer of Scones
>The Partaker of Pudding

Well this is an Aussie delicacy afterall.

to be fair, nowhere in his post did he even imply that Australian cuisine was good, or that it even exists at all. He's simply making a few observations about our food quality. This is an argument between mutts and acid throwers about whose cuisine is better. It's like seeing two cripples challenging each other to a sprint.

Oi m8, don't be hanging shit on fucking Fairy Bread, ok?

Ya dickhead.

nigga already retired who cares lmao

I don't give a shit about fairy bread either way but you can't really talk down about the quality of food in another country when a beloved dish of yours is dyed sugar granules pasted to wonderbread.

You disturb the bacteria of your mouth flora when you brush your teeth with these dangerous chemicals.

Did you know that flour has no benefit what so ever? It's more dangerous than Ricin.

>Eat 5000kcal a day for twenty years and work out hard
>finally you don't have to work out
yeah, surprising

>18 year career
>in that time played for 4 different clubs in Europe's top leagues
>often the team was already the best team in the league without even factoring Ronaldo in

wow, so surely he has won 10 CLs and 16 league titles right?

>wrong
>0 CLs
>only 2 league titles

KEK

uh... when you stop exercising, you don't need as much calories and therefore naturally feel less hungry

calories in vs calories out

might take a week or two to adjust but that's it, not fucking 10 years

2 world cups

>in 18 years
>2 world cups and 2 league titles
>18 year career

embarrassing

>didn't even play in 1994

Basically, he's one of the GOAT's for what he did in 2002

That's fine, Maradona is a GOAT for what he did in 1986, he never did anything else

>18 year career
Why do you include his time in Brazil if you only care about European titles?

>PSV (2 seasons)
averages 1 goal per game
wins Netherlands Cup, ending a 6-year drought
top scorer of the league in 1995

>Barcelona (1 season)
averages 1 goal per game
wins Spanish Cup, ending a 7-year drought
wins UEFA Cup, ending a 5-year drought, scores in the final
wins Spanish Supercup, scores twice in the final
wins 1996 Ballon D'or
top scorer of the league in 1997

>Copa America 1997
wins, scores 5 goals, named best player

>Inter pre-injury (2 seasons)
averages 1 goal per game
wins UEFA Cup, ending a 4-year drought, scores in the final
wins 1997 Ballon D'or

>Copa America 1999
wins, scores 5 goals, ends up top scorer

>gets injured at the beginning of the 3rd season at Inter, misses the 4th season entirely, comes back at the end of the 5th season

>World Cup 2002
averages 1 goal per game
scores twice in the final
amazing performance comparable to Pele in 1970, Maradona in 1986 and Zidane in 1998
wins 2002 Ballon D'or

>Real Madrid (5 seasons)
averages 2 goals every 3 games
wins 2 league titles
wins a Spanish Supercup, scores in the final
wins Intercontinental Cup, scores in the final
top scorer of the league in 2004

By the point he makes it to Milan he was basically done with his career. Not going to include his 1994 World Cup win because he barely played. Not going to talk about his career in Brazil because nobody cares about South American football. Let's leave it at that.

>10 seasons in Europe at top form, including his first year at PSV
>averages nearly 1 goal per game
>wins 3 Ballon D'or
>top scorer of the league 3 times
>wins 2 league titles but also 4 domestic cups whilst scoring in the finals
>wins 3 international titles with his clubs scoring in all the finals
>wins 1 World Cup and 2 Copa America while being top scorer

Such a mediocre career!

>all that shit

Fucking boludo.

All these americans talking shit about Fat Ronaldo when their nation is twice as fat as all others combined.
And their best footballer? Fucking... Landon Donovan lmaooo who once scored a goal in the EPL.

>Nigel acting like hot shit
>hasn't been relevant in "their" sport for decades
>their best players in their league are imports from other countries
>most teams are owned by other countries

Excuse me? You're not that different from us.

Your chips are also shit compared to the belgian.

>he never did anything else
boludo seguro eres hincha de River

You eat monkeys

Firstly, I'm not suggesting he had an average career or that he was an average player.

He definitely was not. He was a great player and had a great career.

My point is this, he's no Messi or C. Ronaldo. He's absolutely nowhere even close to that level. The level he was at was around Lewadowski/ Van Nistelrooy/ Shevchenko/ Rooney level.

Brilliant players, just not quite 'GOAT' level.

Yet if you listen to some of the mouth breathers on here you'd think he was like Ronaldo + Messi + Zidane/Scholes with the defensive ability of Beckenbauer or something...

He was good. Great even. Let's not get carried away though. He won 2 major league titles in 18 years which is not even half as good a career as the likes of John O'Shea or Phil Neville.

@81146106
epic bait

Maradona and Ronaldo were as good as Messi and Cristiano, they just weren't lucky enough to have a start in Europe, they had to make it in a favela, then in a shitty small team, then a bigger team, and only then got a transfer to Europe, both lost somewhere between 3 and 5 seasons there, by that time Ronaldo and Messi already had won 1 CL and a couple of league titles while being system babby's

Then both Maradona and Ronaldo suffered devastating injuries that made them miss entire seasons, they also played in a time where leagues had 5-6 competitive teams at the minimum, and the gap with the relegation fodder was much smaller, while Messi and Ronaldo walk through Barcelonawinslol, Madridwinslol and Unitedwinslol leagues with barely any opposition. They also played in more physical times. Maradona on top of that played in a small team.

The point is, put Maradona in 2005 Barcelona, or put Ronaldo in 2005 United, give them good luck to avoid injuries, and they would have just as good and consistent career, being top scorers every year, winning 10 leagues and 5 CL's

Good post, thanks argiebro.

Common misconception on these parts of the internet.

you now remember early 00s Maradona

Maradona is easily Messi/CRonaldo's equal if not better.

Fat Ronaldo, however, is not.

Also, if you're good enough, you're old enough. Simple as that. CRonaldo also came from a very poor background and had to fight his way to the top.

Being poor in Europe is a joke, you're within a few hours from multiple rich cities

Your only argument against Ronaldo is that he had a shitty carer, well, Maradona too had a shitty career, probably worse, for the same reasons, not starting in Europe (and Europeans discounting everything they did in South America), injuries which made them miss entire seasons, leagues being more competitive back then, Champions League allowing fewer teams which means Maradona and Ronaldo *combined* played fewer editions than Messi or Ronaldo alone

If we're talking about skills alone, regardless of career, then Ronaldo is 10 times better than Cristiano, not even close

>If we're talking about skills alone, regardless of career, then Ronaldo is 10 times better than Cristiano, not even close

Yeah, no.

Ronaldough

How old are you? Ronaldo was insane and raped everything on his way, throwing Ronaldinho-tier skills at Messi-tier speed, and then kicking the ball as hard as Batistuta

>leagues being more competitive back then

It was far easier to rip teams apart in the 80s and 90s than it is now.

C.Ronaldo and Messi would be on 3-4 a game if they were transported back to that era.

I doubt Messi would have been able to play in that era, due to the physicality

Ronaldo would have been Van Basten

Then why are there so many fat people in the military and fat veterans?

He was nowhere near Ronaldinho in terms of footwork and Messi isn't particularly fast. He has little legs which give the illusion of speed but C.Ronaldo is genuinely rapid.

The closest modern day equivalent to Fat Ron is Rooney (peak Rooney obviously, let's ignore the past 6 years).

Powerful, strong, fast but not perhaps the fastest, ridiculous shot, pulled off things nobody else could do from time to time. I'd still be more afraid of peak C. Ronaldo than I would peak Rooney though. Same with CRon vs FatRon

t. only watched post-injury Ronaldo in his last years in Madrid

C.Ronaldo is more physical than anyone in the 80s and 90s. He's faster, stronger and more powerful.

his close control was on the same level as prime ronaldinho during his barca/inter years, less flashier. if i have to make a rough comparison ronaldinho was more like united cr7 and fatnaldo more like messi. his acceleration over short distances was unparalleled and cr7 doesn't even compare. at their fastest, cr7 would win over a long distance while fatnaldo would win the short distance ones.

...And yet, he fucks traps.

>when ronaldo became redondo

Here it's three times a day and floss once.

yolo

There's no way he's stronger and more powerful than fatnaldo lmao. Maybe faster... but fatnaldo looks like he is flying on the pitch

Eeeeeee