Self hating faggot

Self hating faggot

AMA

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have sex

Pic of taking dick or gtfo

No

No. Never going to happen.

Anyone ever tell you you’re no fun?

Yes, sometimes.

I'm a self hating faggot living in the closet. Why would I post an image of me dicking myself?

Ok, ok, fair enough closet boy. How bout dick with timestamp and a hand flashing the live long and prosper sign?

...why are you trying to get me to do gay shit when that whole point is that's not what I do?

>I'm a self hating faggot living in the closet. Why would I post an image of me dicking myself?

Being "gay" isn't an identity.
You have been lied to.
Being gay is just like enjoying a food that others may not like.
Some people like salads, other people like pizza or whatever.

Recognize that you liking pizza is a temptation, that you can't only eat pizza for nutrition, and that you should not be proud of eating such an unhealthy food.

I used to be like you, and almost transitioned MtF at one point, and I've been enlightened on some things

When did I say I was a woman in a mans body? I don't believe in trans, I think it's a mental illness. Same with homosexuality. Women don't do anything for me so I'm choosing to remain in the closet and a "virgin" as far as people know. but that's in the past.

Well you said self hating, not self suppressing! Those are two very different things. In any case, what makes you think of homosexuality as a mental illness?

I'm kind of the same, except I do like girls. Why are you self hating? I like my sexuality I just don't see the point in fucking men.

>I don't believe in trans, I think it's a mental illness. Same with homosexuality. Women don't do anything for me so I'm choosing to remain in the closet and a "virgin" as far as people know. but that's in the past.

I was just bringing up the transgender thing because that's how I learned this truth.

Women don't do anything for you because through life experiences, you've associated women with negative things and you've associated men with more attractive things.

I felt the exact same way as you.

It's often our very deep psychological problems that we think are our identities that guides us to these conclusions.
I liked men and wanted to be a woman because I was shy, introverted, afraid of conflict, and had a desire to be taken care of. I suspect you feel somewhat similar things.
I associated women with either being bitchy, moody, annoying and more timid than I was and thought "well women wouldn't like me anyway"
But these qualities aren't identities, they are immaturities and deficiencies in your psychology.

This is really a complex topic that most people don't understand because they aren't open minded or creative enough, but I feel you are smart enough and know what I'm saying

I'm thin with a soft voice. People always presume I'm gay and they treat me differently because of it. You've seen gay behavior yes? Pride parades, pedophilia, the SJW movement etc..? That's not normal. I want to distance myself from that.

Because homosexuality is disgusting. I used to date a guy. I realized I was thought of as the "woman" in the relationship. I've since left him and distanced myself from all my friends who knew about it. I was tired of feeling emasculated. People still presume, because of my body type and soft voice I guess, but I deny it. I've lost friends over this shit. They insist I am, and I should "be who you are" etc...

I'm not a faggot. And I'm tired of feeling like one.

if ur tired of feeling emasculated just be a top lol ...

I've never associated women with negative things. Here's a fun stereotype for you. I suffered sexual abuse as a child. Go figure, probably explains some things. My mother and sister cared for me and treated me like a human, not my father. I have more respect and love for women. I just don't find them sexually attractive.

I have a few female friends. Probably doesnt do much for my reputation as a straight guy, being the "friend".

I'm not attracted to guys who bottom. It's disgusting. Nor am I attracted to switches.

>Because homosexuality is disgusting.

It really is but its also kind of hot. I still fap to dicks and traps but I can't get over how silly it would be to put dicks in your ass, its absolutely not natural or healthy.

>They insist I am, and I should "be who you are" etc...

Yeh that sucks. People feel like gays shouldn't be self critical of their own sexuality, but plenty of straight people throughout history disregarded sex because they found fault with it.

get a j/o buddy ? .. or u might just be a gay asexual or just really repressed who knows ,

It's hot if that's your fetish I suppose.

I do still masturbate... as does everybody. And I do use a dildo when I do. It goes against how I'm trying to present myself and I do hate myself for doing it, not going to lie. But it's not as if I go around letting people know about it. (Online anonymous sure, never in real life.)

I don't understand how people can hate gays but hate them more when they try to normalize themselves. Sex is nice sure but I'd easily do without it if it means I don't emasculate myself by letting somebody fuck me. And I don't enjoy sex so much I want to be associated with.. just anything lgbt related.

Asexual is nonsense. It's what people claim when they can't get any. I'm not a fan of people trying to pretend like they're some new marginalized member of society so they can win the oppression war.

Ignoring the self hatred, how was your day and can you tell me something interesting about yourself (like hobbies, likes and dislikes, that kind of shit)?

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>I suffered sexual abuse as a child. Go figure
That's why you are struggling with gay thoughts
You have unseen associations going on inside your head that has shaped your "identity".

You've associated sex with men, and you probably feel more close to women because of it

I can't fully explain the dark recesses of our minds, but I know what I'm saying is true even if I can't fully explain it.

I hope this information helps you on your way

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i mean everyone does it and always has , straight , gay , bi, black, white . theres a certain amount of ppl in everyone one of those demographics who project their shortcomings onto someone else ... being gay really isnt something i think about anymore . ive been out (except to family) since i was 17 and have never met anyone who cared. its only as big a deal as you make it .

It's more of self disgust as a certain aspect of who I am more than anything.

Um.. day was dull. Not a lot going on for the rest of this week.

I'm into drawing, cooking. Love building scale miniatures of ships, tanks, and planes. Love music, I play the violin, teaching myself guitar. Nobody in my apartment likes me because of my violin tho... but whatever.

Not sure what else to say.

I'll look into it but I'm sure everybody is familiar with the theory. If it is true then it's not an issue in my life. I dumped my boyfriend and I stop talking to anyone who starts making assumptions on how I should be living my life. I've been single and effectively a single straight guy for the last four years now.

>I don't understand how people can hate gays but hate them more when they try to normalize themselves.

Well I think people respect the fact that gays come out of the closet and face possible ridicule rather than hide in fear of what others might think, this leads people to believe that anyone who doesn't do the same is a self hating coward.

I am not afraid of what other people will think. That being said I am closeted to my family as well.

Because of mannerisms that I try to change about how I talk, move, behave... occasionally a friend will ask. And they're always kind and supportive. I deny it and they think I'm denying it because I don't want them to know. That does frustrate me... how they'll act like they know I'm gay and I'd be happier if I just embraced it. They'll say things like "It doesnt change anything!" "We're still friends!" "A have other gay friends, I don't mind!"

If they get too pushy i have to cut them out of my life, which is sometimes harder than I'd like for it to be.

I suppose I'm a self hating coward by that definition.

bump

OP here. No need to bump. If it dies it dies.

But thanks

>I suppose I'm a self hating coward by that definition.

If any its consolation I know where you're coming from. I've been stressed ever since I knew I didn't want to have sex with men, even though I more than likely could. Being a closet fag is one of the most hated sexual groups, people seem to think you're obligated to have sex with men if you're not 100% straight.

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I suppose women who don't put out are thought of the same but in the gay community 90% of faggots are bottoms looking for a dick so if anything it's one less drop of water in that pond.

A lot of guys live without girlfriends. That's what i am. I am not gay. That's how I'm presenting myself anyways... Just a lonely weirdo who's not good with ladies.

That's why I'm coining the term FAGTOW (fags go their own way) Its like MGTOW but for fags.

I should like that better if it was Fags thrown out windows

But to each their own. I'd simply like to leave as little mark as possible on anyones life any die being seldom thought of by anyone, if that makes sense.

How did you like the gay sex before you quit the life? I never got the chance to indulge?

Why not just put benis in vegana? Or better yet, just be a cuck. Then you can suck benis, and have a female wife for public image purposes.

what do you think about this yeen girl, would you fuck her?, is she pretty?

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>a single straight guy for the last four years now.
Talk to some girls and just try
Look for the qualities that you like in men, and seek them in girls.
You'd be surprised

Stop it user. You're gonna end up like the bronies if you keep this up.

Meant to post this pic...

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This is how you end up with those forty year olds finally coming out of the closet and leaving their wives

>When you abuse statistics to make them sound more frightening than they really are

nah user, bronies aren't in the same league as jasiri

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You're not one of the most hated, you're more pitied than anything. It's deep rooted and unnecessary fear of accepting your homosexuality and it's really sad to see.

It's not frightening, it just indicates that if you exhibit one form of sexual deviancy, it's likely you'll have more than one.

It was... amazing. But after doing it for a long time you start to realize your "place." Like I said earlier, you're seen as the woman.

This is embarrasing and something I'd only ever admit anonymously online. My boyfriend, one night, slapped me. And i started to cry. It didn't hurt, and he wasnt mean. He stopped and kept asking if I was ok. Something about that... it's the first time I felt like I was seen as some fucktoy, a bitch if you will. A feminine half-man slab of fuck meat. I really don't know why but it got to me. I ended things not long after that night. He kept apologizing, said he didnt mean to hurt me. And i know he didnt.

The sex is amazing, but it eats away at your soul, your dignity. It reduces you to some cum sucking faggot. That's not who I want to be. And it's not who I am.

I've tried. I had a hard time maintaining an erection and I couldnt finish.

If you're straight, like 100%, imagine having sex with a man. Not a feminine trap or some shit like everybody on Sup Forums seems to like, I mean a man.

You'd have trouble, I'm sure.

I am... not a furry.

I have female friends and I briefly dated one of them, it didn't go well and now we're just friends.

Bronies are almost as bad as faggots.

Exactly, this is why I hate being gay. How many rainbow wearing child fucking dildo strap on weirdo's need to march the street before people like me are considered normal? I'm gay. And I have a mental illness. I accept that. So I try not to make it a problem.

I'm determined to stay single. If we're being honest i have self loathing issues... clearly. I don't want anybody, and i don't deserve anybody. And that's about the only thing in my life that's ever really worked out. I do get lonely from time to time but that's life I suppose.

If you're depressed, you feel sad. If you're gay, you have to feel lonely. It's just the downside of the mental disorder.

What percentage of gay people are pedophiles?

What amount of pedophilia would you consider normal? I don't know about 40% of homosexual but I'm sure the number is alarmingly higher. How could it not be? Gays love younger looking guys, and they're obviously fine with being sexually indecent. It's a lethal combination.

>It was... amazing. But after doing it for a long time you start to realize your "place." Like I said earlier, you're seen as the woman.

You need to realize that this isn't how all people will think of you. You're not a woman just because you're the one getting fucked

...

Maybe. Doubtful, but sure, maybe. Is it worth living as a faggot just incase you find the one guy delusional enough to not look down on you once you submit yourself as a cock toy?

What a logical fallacy...

It means gays are way over represented in regards to pedophilia so there is something about being gay that correlates to pedophilia

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>It's deep rooted and unnecessary fear of accepting your homosexuality and it's really sad to see.

That is the case for a lot of men, but then you have guys who just don't feel the need to have sex with men even if they could, though we are probably the minority.

how does it get decided who tops and who bottoms?
i've never thought about it before

>I'm gay. And I have a mental illness. I accept that.
You can transcend mental illness.
Mental illness is not just biological. It's also psychological.

Everyone has a mental illness lying dormant.
It's just society, life experience and stress has not brought it out of them.
It's like a balloon being inflated, and the balloon blows out at it's weakest point.
Everyone has a psychological weak point and some people go through harder lives than others and blow out at those points.

Being gay is not set in stone and it is not an identity.

Well, then be a fag. Just be a top. Find a wimpy manlet with a good job, pound his cheeks, make him spend money on you. Win win win, no matter what.

Or is it being a bottom that gets you off?

You're the one who's delusional buddy. In your mind, are women just cock toys for men? The truth is sex is fun and it's okay to enjoy it. You like getting fucked and they like fucking. You're both pleasing each other. You might as well call him your boy toy that you only use to get dick.

It depends on what your reasons for not wanting to have sex with men. Abstinence is kind of weird but you do you. I'm pretty sure the only good reason is being asexual or just not enjoying sex

>The sex is amazing, but it eats away at your soul, your dignity. It reduces you to some cum sucking faggot.

lol thats how I feel even when I fap to this shit. I know most people would write this off as self hatred, but I don't think these feelings should just be ignored. Even within the gay community you see that tops take pride in not being bottoms, they don't admit it but they look down on bottoms and wouldn't want to be them. Trannys hate guys who like their dicks, gays are more attracted to straight men because they perceive them as being more masculine, and 60+% of woman said they wouldn't date a bisexual man. Beneath the pride bullshit there is a subconscious awareness that the person being fucked is less than a real man.

OP here.

Sex isnt that complicated, it's 95% reading peoples body language.

My first time with my boyfriend was simple enough to figure out what goes where. Granted he was like twice my size and I'm the fucking dainty little fairy but whatever.

It started with kissing, then him rubbing my belly, me leaning back and him taking off my pants to get between my legs. That's it. It's decided like that.

I agree. I think some therapy would do me a lot of good but not only can I not afford therapy I'm sure in todays society they'd tell me the same thing my friends do "Just be who you are" and all that crap. They'd try to discover the root of why I live the way I do as opposed to trying to cure the actual mental illness.

I'm not paying somebody 250 dollars an hour so they can try and convince me to get humiliated sexually over and over again night after night by somebody who looks down on me as a sexual object and who refuses to acknowledge that I'm a man... no. I'm sorry but no. Not happening.

My biggest issue is dealing with loneliness. That's the biggest problem I have in my life right now. Hardly a problem worth dealing with.

As I stated earlier, I don't get off to the idea of being with any man who gets fucked in the ass willingly.

I used to do it and I'm disgusting. As is anyone who accepts that role for themself.

What about getting blowjobs? Is that bad too?

It is entirely relevant. If it's a very small percentage of homosexuals(which no shit it is) then it's just fear mongering because they're not representative of the average homosexual

It's all in your head, people don't actually think all this garbage

i've mostly been with chicks and i mean, they're made to be penetrated, so its no question that i'm going to be doing the poking
i had a trap/futa phase (which is still on going) and i fooled around like that. s/he had a bigger penis than i did and turns out i dont really being the bottom

>It depends on what your reasons for not wanting to have sex with men

Well I'm a lot luckier than OP because I actually do like girls. I'm in the closet cause I'd rather have a gf, but I'm sure I have high potential for faggotry.

>I agree. I think some therapy would do me a lot of good but not only can I not afford therapy I'm sure in todays society they'd tell me the same thing my friends do "Just be who you are" and all that crap. They'd try to discover the root of why I live the way I do as opposed to trying to cure the actual mental illness.
Email?

I'd like to talk to you some more and I can send you some resources.

Therapy is 99% bullshit.

>people don't actually think all this garbage

bi.org/en/articles/bi-men-are-not-considered-attractive-new-study-says

>"In a survey of over 1,000 women, conducted by Glamour in 2016, 63% of women said they wouldn’t date a man who’s had sex with another man. (This isn’t just men who identify as bi. This includes all men who’ve experimented with another man, even if it only happened once!) Still, 47% of women said they've been attracted to another woman, and 31% of women have had a sexual experience with another woman."

>"It seems that many women, even while acknowledging their own sexual fluidity, don’t want to date men who are sexually fluid."

>In your mind, are women just cock toys for men

Are they not? All those guys walking up to girls in a bar or who hang out with girls, or who deal with their attitudes, and dealing with that time of the month... it's because they're endlessly fascinated by the girls personality? haha... sorry, I just don't buy that.

Sex is fun and it is ok to enjoy it. But while i had fun with my boyfriend originally, I realized what I was and I realized how he and everyone in my life saw me. I was the faggot. The bitch. The sex toy. The brainless half-man cock loving slutty faggot.

I don't accept that. I'll stick to masturbating if I get to keep my dignity and hide my mental illness.

I absolutely agree with you. I'm sorry, I'd write more but I've got nothing to add, you've nailed it.

I choose to not get looked down on. I'd rather be the weird "virgin" who can't get a girl in my circle of friends than the sex object of a real man.

Receiving them? No of course not. And it's not bad to give them either, but only for women. When you give a blowjob you're taking on the feminine role. How can any man be respected while he's got his lips wrapped around a cock?

I beg to differ. I ...loved... my boyfriend. A lot. And I do miss him. But after fucking me for so long I began to realize how he really thought of me. That user you responded too has it 100% right.

It's body language. Why did you allow yourself into a submissive position if you don't like being penetrated?

I'm sure with faggots there is occasionally a bit of a surprise in the bedroom when they realize they're both bottoms/tops. But it's not something I've ever dealt with. I've had two boyfriends in my life and my role was pretty well understood long before we even kissed for the first time.

I could create a burner email I suppose, if you'd like. I'm afraid to share anything via Sup Forums.

>he doesn't know how statistics work
There are 2 Groups in a Population: Group A and Group B
If Group A commits 90% of the crime compared to Group B, we can say that there is something about Group A that is a problem.

It's retarded to say "but only 40% of people in Group A are doing the crime!"

If you don't understand Normal Distributions, shut the fuck up.
These 2 bell curve shapes can apply to anything.
Not just IQ or whatever.

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>I could create a burner email I suppose, if you'd like. I'm afraid to share anything via Sup Forums.
Please do that

Okay well I'm not entirely sure about that one since I'm not into women. However gay guys aren't looking down on you because you like to take dick

wanted to experiment, was reading online about the whole prostate orgasm. i'm a bit submissive, but not in the bedroom as it turns out
i was younger and wanted to experiment. its not for me, but i'd do it again if i had to "do it all over" or however the saying goes
also, condoms for bareback? I've never had a clean condom come out, so i've always wrapped my junk before plunging into the pooper

post your butt

[email protected]

You'll have to go somewhere else for advice. Homosexuality is a mental illness I've been struggling with all my life and i would never encourage somebody else to belittle themselves enough to embrace it.

My point is that pedophilia is already extremely rare. By saying 40% of pedophiles are homosexual you're making it seem like a bigger problem than it really is, especially since you don't even know the psychology behind the reason for that. Basically you're misusing statistics

>I choose to not get looked down on. I'd rather be the weird "virgin" who can't get a girl in my circle of friends than the sex object of a real man.

Even outside of the way people perceive you, there can be very serious consequences to being ass fucked regularly. I remember watching a crossdresser on stream and he starts bleeding from his ass out of nowhere. Turns out he had internal hemorrhoids from damaging his insides from all the ass play. I see shit like that and wonder if its really all worth it.

whoops, i meant condoms or bareback

Nobody is saying that it represents the average homosexual. Just that there's a correlation between homosexuality and pedophilia.

Notice how defensive you're getting? I wonder why. Perhaps there's a reason for that correlation, and you don't want the conversation to progress to that topic. Perhaps that might show that homosexuality shouldn't be embraced by the public at large. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, but it's certainly a statistic worth investigating.

>In your mind, are women just cock toys for men
>Are they not?

user you do have mental issues, but it's not homosexuality

>
I beg to differ. I ...loved... my boyfriend. A lot. And I do miss him. But after fucking me for so long I began to realize how he really thought of me. That user you responded too has it 100% right.

user, you're the one who thinks of yourself this way

>However gay guys aren't looking down on you because you like to take dick

Well I can't sit here and say gay tops are secretly laughing at bottoms behind their backs, but its more in the way that they talk about their preference for topping, how quick they are to correct people about it, there's this underlying arrogance that they have that implies a feeling of superiority.

Its very naive to think that they wouldn't feel this way, if its really not a big deal why don't they get fucked?

I've been having gay sex regularly for a while and I have never had any serious issues related to that. Neither have any of my friends. Care to post the science behind this so called serious danger?

>By saying 40% of pedophiles are homosexual you're making it seem like a bigger problem than it really is, especially since you don't even know the psychology behind the reason for that. Basically you're misusing statistics
I understand pedophilia is rare.
But when a group is disproportionately doing it, you are a retard to not take notice because you want to protect the group.

You are just a Gay tribalist.

>Its very naive to think that they wouldn't feel this way, if its really not a big deal why don't they get fucked?

Probably because they're not into it, that really isn't a big deal. Some guys only like getting fucked, some only like doing the doing, some like both, some don't even like anal. You're thinking too much into it.

Okay buddy

Plus it increases your chances of getting aids, that's right.

That being said, and I'm not proud to admit this but I do... still masturbate using a dildo. If you practice proper hygeine there is no issue, at least none I've experienced.

First of all make sure you use plenty of lubrication. The anus is not meant to be penetrated so you'll need it. Douching is also necessary for being clean, and avoiding bacterial infections. And don't try and use some massive horse cock sized thing, never understood faggots who do that.

Like I said I am embarrased and ashamed of myself for doing this but i do enjoy it and I keep it to myself. Usually after I masturbate this way I have to "punish" myself a bit. It's a form of self-therapy I read about once. Slapping yourself, self deprication, admitting what you did was wrong. I don't do it that often anymore, so I think it's working... but again it's a side effect of my mental disorder, for whatever reason I find it pleasurable and it's hard not too sometimes.

Everybody in modern society accepts that men only care about sex. But I'm the asshole for saying it? And on Sup Forums of all places? This site is basically a porn site now.

You don't know the first thing about my relationship so I don't see a reason to take your advice.

And yes I KNOW i have mental health issues. Homosexuality is one of them. Maybe i have others, I don't know.

Maybe you'd like how I do it. I make it a game. Whoever does better at x gets to choose what the other person has to do. Doesn't even have to be sexual. What you need is a fucking friend who you happen to fuck. Being gay or straight or anything else does not matter. We get MAYBE 75 years on this earth before the lights go out. Do what you want to do brother. Find someone who does not treat you like a faggot or a woman. Right now the ball is in your court.

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>Everybody in modern society accepts that men only care about sex. But I'm the asshole for saying it?

You're just wrong is all. And you're right, I don't know about your relationship, he might only seen you as fuck meat. I'm just saying not everyone thinks that way.

>You're thinking too much into it.

I know what I'm talking about. Obviously its not the case 100% of the time, but without a doubt within the gay community the strict top is seen as the superior male.

I also know what I'm talking about. The idea all you people have on this sounds like you've just been watching porno and drama shows. It is a fetish thing that people have which is why you probably know of it. People enjoy that stuff, but that's not something everybody is into. Maybe it's time to start doubting your views

I've played with my butt a few times but I always felt stupid afterwards. It really feels like you're blatantly disrespecting your own body, and it doesn't really feel all that great, I much prefer stimulating my own dick.

Its crazy because I really do like my sexuality, but even I can see that gay sex is pretty absurd and self abusive. How are you suppose to feel good about yourself when sex ends with a sore butt and you farting cum out over a toilet?

lol just don’t be a fag

>I really do like my sexuality

This is a common issue with gays. You enjoy the identity, feeling different.

That's what this thread has been about, yes.

>Its crazy because I really do like my sexuality, but even I can see that gay sex is pretty absurd and self abusive.

Ever consider that maybe you're just not into receiving? It really isn't self abusive or "disrespectful" to your body. Assuming you practice safe sex and are preparing properly there isn't even any harm at all. I never feel pain after sex and I enjoy it a lot

Your personality is really derived from your habits as are your neuro associations; anybody can alter their own psychology, this is why brainwashing works to a certain degree.

>You enjoy the identity, feeling different.

Its not really that, I just like what I like. You can like certain things about homosexuality while still acknowledging the downsides. I think I'm more comfortable with it because I have good control over my gay urges and have always liked girls more, so for me its just an alternative fantasy to fap to.

>Ever consider that maybe you're just not into receiving?

Its possible, the idea is a lot hotter than the reality. I just can't believe people do anal like its nothing.

OP here

Thanks for chatting with me for a little while everyone.

Going to get some sleep now.

Bye all

People don't do anal like it's nothing. Well maybe they do, but they're doing it wrong. That's how you end up with painal. You're supposed to lube up properly and slowly stretch out your hole before actually fucking. The most common way is to start with a finger, move up to two, three if you need. Butt plugs also work really well, start with a small one and work up to your desired size. Once you start with the sex itself (or with your dildo) take it slow, use plenty of lube, and relax. There shouldn't be any pain or bleeding if you do it right.

Y r u running?