I started this thread yesterday, it did reasonably well. Why not again?

I started this thread yesterday, it did reasonably well. Why not again?

>Self hating homosexual
>AMA

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What manga is that from?

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Afraid I don't know. Just found it on Sup Forums.

whats your favorite food?

Chinese, provided I can eat out as I can't cook it.

I grew up in Texas, so BBQ is a top choice for me that I can cook, as is Italian.

Do you hate yourself because of your sexuality? If not, why?

What is your religion
and is it why you hate yourself?

What that from?

I hate my sexuality and I hate some of my mannerisms but not myself.

I grew up Christian. I had a fascination with being organized.. and dinosaurs. One day I'm trying to figure out the history of everything and I got confused at the placement of dinosaurs in history. Bill Nye always said dinosaurs never lived with humans, but the bible says the earth and humans were made in 7 days... but dinosaurs lived for millions of years? I couldnt get a straight answer on this, so I started questioning things and was an atheist at the age of 15. I'm currently agnostic though... atheism was more of a response to a strict religious household but I've relaxed on that stance now.

Best trap manga I ever read.

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Are you feminine? Could you pass as a trap.l?

Ngl we need more passing traps irl. Only trans folks ive everer met irl look like square jawed nfl players. I wanna fuck a QT trap. :(

I have what is referred to as a "twink" build which is basically just a skinny youngish looking guy. I also have a soft voice but can not in any way be confused for a woman. However, people make the presumption I'm gay rather frequently which irritates me.

I would like to stress that two men having sex is a disgusting behavior that stems from the result of a mental disorder. If you like "traps" then you're attracted to women, so just be with a woman.

are you a minor still? there's plenty of lgbt+ people that you can talk to, be it online or irl. when i hated myself i started talking to people online that were also gay, and that really helped me loosen up about any stigmas i'd put on myself.

oh ok now i see why you hate yourself, also you were raised in texas lmao i'm so sorry

show me your soft body twinkboi

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I am in my mid 20's. I have absolutely no desire to speak to any LGBT minded people. Homosexuality is a mental illness, one I suffer from, and I'm trying my best to correct it.

Texas is not that bad. I've moved but yeah... it's too hot all the time and there are cockroaches everywhere. Otherwise the people are friendly and the rent is cheap.

The biggest difference I've noticed is small talk. Nobody likes to talk where I'm at now (which I'd rather not disclose but it's closer to west coast). People in Texas loved to gab with just about anybody.

Absolutely not. I'm done being a sex object. It's degrading and dehumanizing and I refuse to take part in that lifestyle anymore.

No what it’s name?

ask jesus for help then, he helped all those preists with their repressed mental illnesses

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I don't believe in Jesus.

bro your such a fag lol

What's so wrong with being gay OP? Just go for it, be yourself. Nothing matters and no one really cares. Go get some dick and get over it

I know I am and I'm trying hard to fix myself. I've been afraid I'm not going to be able too and if that's the case I'll just live as a "virgin" (as far as anybody else is concerned) who just can't get a girlfriend.

It's been lonely, but it's better than what I once had I believe.

Also, I am not naive. I understand you're trying to mock me or make me angry. I'm just responding genuinely is all. Yes, I am a fag, and yes I hate it.

As I stated, it's dehumanizing and degrading and unnatural. I have a boyfriend and we used to have sex rather frequently (of course). This is embarrasing to admit but one night during sex he slapped me across the face and I cried. Not because it hurt but because in that moment i realized how he truly thought of me and what I had let this mental illness make me. A sex toy. Contributing nothing to this world. He didnt love or respect me, I was a toy to him. And worst, I wasnt a man in his eyes.

Just dont talk an wear feminine clothes

Im completely aware Im straight, and have a "chicks with dicks" fetish.

I prefer an athletic flatter chessed body type, so traps became my weird kink but 9/10 id prefer an actual tomboy since I also have a thing for pregnant chicks....

i used to believe homosexuality was a mental illness before too, even wrote an essay about it (14 pages, whew)

in the end i was completely wrong, building my whole argument like a house of cards that could tumble with the slightest breeze. can hypersexuality in the lgbt+ community be eating us from the inside out (literally at this point, with the added risk of spreading STD's)? that's a whole different story.

pleeeease, please please. go out with a guy. talk to him. make him laugh. make him smile. make him blush. hold his hand, touch his hair, touch his face. be happy with the condition you have. you shouldn't be mad, sad, or even repress the fact that you bear this illness, since there is no cure for it.

fuck a girl then loser.

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You know straight couples have treated their SO like that, maybe you were just with a shitty person

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i'm sorry you had to go through that, but in that moment your partner was probably experimenting in the bedroom, thinking you would be turned on by being treated merely as a sexual object.

if you don't feel like your partner sees you the way you'd like him to, loves you or treats you the way you want him to, sit down and talk with him. tell him you need support and that you don't want to be just a fuckbuddy. express your emotions.

all OP wanted was a fuckdaddy

My way of curing it is to never have sex again basically. Why contribute to something I find so disgusting?

After I left my boyfriend I did start dating a girl from my friends circle. It was awkward and embarrasing.. we only tried to have sex once, I couldn't maintain an erection and I wasnt able to finish. She was "understanding" though. She knew I used to be gay and was trying to fix myself. We're still friends.

Don't get it wrong. He wasnt mean or abusive. It was the act of being slapped that didn't sit well with me, it didnt hurt nor was it meant too. He kept apologizing for it but after that I turned quiet, we stopped having sex, and about two weeks later I told him I was turning straight and didn't want to be with him anymore. Honestly, I do miss him. But you can't be allowed to let your mental disorders run your life.

Do you see how everybody's initial reaction to this image is to be disgusted? I have a point.

That's exactly what it was. He insisted multiple times that's now how he saw me but if that were the case he wouldnt of done it in the first place. Ultimately, the "submissive" one in any relationship has to give up the idea of being respected or even being seen as human. A lot of girls seem to like that idea, they like their men to be men... but how can another man accept that?

We've been separated for a little over a year now and while we talk occasionally we've basically stopped having any kind of relationship, even as friends. Last i heard he's dating somebody else now.

....no?

bluechew. get a hard dick

just learn about how fucking annoying and shitty LGBTQ people behave. S’what turned me straight.

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Again it sounds like you're taking a bad sexual experience and extrapolating it out to saying all homosexuality is inherently bad. Which is a common thing to do, I was scared of dogs forever because one almost bit me, but that doesn't make it any more rational

not everyone has to be a sheep echoing the opinions and actions of the herd

K nigger reply to everyone but me. Im drunk and bored.

~trap fetish user

Source
exhentai.org/g/374456/a2afaaaa87/

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That's part of why I hate myself for being gay.

Physically i liked being slapped. If we're being honest. I liked my boyfriend because he was a man. I loved that about him. But I realized he was a man and i had delegated myself to being so belittled cock sleeve not worthy of respect.

I don't know what to say to you, honestly. Traps are your kink... ok? I think that's disgusting. All gay behavior is disgusting. What else do you want me to say about that?

Don't link me to stuff like that. That being said look at the picture. A feminine submissive "girly" boi completely helpless and useless in this world who's only job or role in life is to service somebody elses cock like a little faggy slut.

That's what gets gay people off? I find that distasteful.

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Oh damn, we gaining some gay experience points tonight.

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>cockholsters are not worthy of respect
why are u being so sexist?

Women are biologically designed to enjoy taking in a penis. Men do it as a result of a mental illness and they allow their whole life and personality be controlled by it. It's a mental disorder and shouldnt be encouraged.

If you're diagnosed with depression should you be allowed to engage in suicidal tendencies like cutting and self harm? In the end you're only harming yourself, but you shouldnt be doing it because that's not the true way to happiness.

honestly you were fucked up about yourself because of the way you grew up. start your mind with a clean slate and let a new personality grow from your reset. you don't deserve to be unhappy about something that is very hardly in your control. I have your exact same problem, and you know what, I resolved to be me. you date who you want. be who you are. not everything needs a lable of wrong or right.homosexuality wasn't a choice or option for me, it is just who i am. you are not mentally ill, you don't have to think that to rationalize a perfectly natural feeling of love. The fact you think sex is gross could be denial. in any light take a step back and consider what is going on with you, have some self awareness.

So...you hate being gay...because you like being submissive. And that's bad because being submissive means you aren't worthy of respect. Which means delegated yourself to being a cock sleeve.

You do realize sex can just be a thing you do, and it doesn't have to define you personally right?

Ok so the bottom is mentally ill but the top isnt? Unless the top sucks a cock of course

I spent a large part of my life repressing and it's no way to live OP.

I'll never get those years back, wish i could.

It can and will define how others look at you.

Imagine a rich successful man entering the room. He's got a pretty girl strapped to his shoulder. Do you, in ALL honesty, think anybody respects the woman? He's the object he chose to get him off. That may be fine for women, but I'm a man.

They're all mentally ill but the bottom will always be more mentally ill than the top.

Aside from being lonely I'm fine. That's a fair trade off in my opinion.

A lot of my friends "find out" I have this mental illness and tell me the same stuff you're saying. Be who you are, you'll be happier, etc... I've heard it 1000's of times. I am being who I am tho. I am somebody born with a mental illness and I'm taking back control. As I stated, the only downside to my new lifestyle is loneliness but that's to be expected of many mental illness's. Not alot of people are friends with clinically depressed people, schizophrenics, sociopaths etc right?

That link doesnt work?

I don't know how many people really "respect" the man. I mean I generally don't respect rich people, they tend to be cocks.

But regardless you're talking about the extreme, trophy wife situation. People know it's a shallow relationship built on looks and money. Nobody, NOBODY, knows or cares who slaps whom in you're nobody relationships. It only affects other people's perception if you broadcast it, and even then a good number of people still won't care

Seems like you're conflating being gay with low self esteem and confidence OP. Would you be happy if you were "dominating" in the relationship?

Everyone here tends to hate the stereotypical LGBT community, but you sound self aware enough not to be a flaming faggot. I know you're not here looking for advice, but sounds like you're going to make yourself miserable by repressing something that may not be capable of changing

>Faggot OP comes to terms he's been lied to, that all fags are mentally damaged subhumans
>Other faggots try convincing him he's wrong and needs to get back on his knees
This thread is fucking great. Keep fighting.

Damned if I do damned if I don't then. I'd rather retain my humanity and just don't.

As for gay community... I hate almost every aspect of it aside from it's high suicide rate. The pedophilia, dancing naked in the streets begging to be seen as equals, crying because nobody wants to bake a cake for you, etc.. that's not me. I don't want people to associate me with that.

Even in non-extreme examples it works. Women are essentially seen as prizes that a man earns.

Thank you?

Is it possible you're projecting your own views of sexuality onto others? Do you feel like this view point is societal, or one inherent in humanity? And if the latter, and you want to split people between "earners"/"prizes", what exactly do you feel is wrong with being in the latter category?

>aside from it's high suicide rates

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I think that OP is the type of dude to watch sissy hypno porn that has altered his perception of interpersonal relationships. Where the only thing that can get him off anymore is a self perceived sexual humiliation. In doing so, he has linked sexual gratification directly to sadness and helplessness in his mind. Because of this he is unable to have a relationship with women because he has this nagging thought in his head that he is to small and effeminate to be wanted by a woman.
>pic likely related

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What are your fetishes?

That is possible but it doesnt change the fact that I felt dehumanized and degraded. That's a feeling, you can't change that. It's not how I want to feel.

just... digesting that comment. I'm not a porn kind of guy, don't generally watch it. When I do I watch straight porn but focus on the guy. Like I said I am gay, and I do indulge in sexual urges occasionally including the use of a dildo in masturbation. But as long as i'm keeping it to myself and it's not a distraction in my life or influencing how people see me (as it's private and shared with nobody but anonymous people online) then I have no issue with it.

Not sure if you were directing that to me, the OP, or that guy. Didn't want you to be ignored, I'm trying to respond to everybody.

in short; OP is a fag

rite o m8

Yes I am, and I'm sorry that it bothers you. As I've said I am trying to correct it.. for what it's worth it bothers me as well.

Don't think you'll retain your humanity by making yourself miserable and depressed. Not trying to convince you of anything, but you sound level headed and recognize degeneracy; disappointing to read that you may never be happy because of your sexuality.

I know you know not every gay person is a flaming faggot that radiates degeneracy, so even though I sympathize with you for dissociating yourself from the LGBT community/"movement", I don't think you're being fair to yourself because you believe people may relate you to their cancer for being gay.

You sound set on your decision though, so hopefully things work out for you.

But you also said you liked it? Do you mean you liked it in the heat of the moment, then felt shame afterwards? Or the other way around?

nah user-kun, im a fag too, but you are a special kind of fag

Post qt twink pics user

Thank you I really appreciate you taking the time to say that.

Shamed afterwards at who I realized I had become.

I genuinely sorry that i'm coming off that way.

it's okay to be gay buddy.

I simply disagree with you and that's based on experience.

But why is being into kinky sex really that bad? And why is it something that has pushed you into declaring homosexuality as whole to be a mental illness?

OP, I respect the conclusions you've arrived to via introspection. As a straight male, I've also always viewed homosexuality as a mental illness but in the politically correct climate of today, it seems to be dangerous to even state such an opinion. If we are in agreement that homosexuality is mental illness, have you any role models who successfully managed to convert to being straight? Does it feel like something you are progressing towards?

It's dehumanizing and degrading. If that's your fetish, fine. I can't change your mind. It's just now how I choose to live.

Honestly? No. No progress at all. But I can't afford therapy or anything like that. I thought I'd be fine just being lonely for the remainder of my lifebut if we're being honest i'd been considering suicide. Although, I don't want to discuss that any further.

>I hate almost every aspect of it aside from it's high suicide rate

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Well, too bad. You're going to be gay forever my man.

>It's dehumanizing and degrading
But why do you feel that way?

That's a possibility that I'm aware of but I've far from exhausted every option I have at curing myself.

Before you came to the realization that you felt degraded in your relationship, were you happy in it?

Ok I do have to apologize for that statement that was unfair I was just trying to be funny.

Suicide rates among lgbt members is high though which is a bit telling as to the legitimacy of hoping to be "cured". I'm a fool living in false hope, I feel.

yes very, but I was living in delusion.

Thanks for the reply and thanks for posting an honest, interesting and insightful thread. Forgive me for being curious, but I've got a few more questions I'd love to bounce off of you since you seem to have a very pragmatic view of things

Do you figure that your maneurisms are a sidetrait of the same genetic markee that is responsible for making you gay? Or do you think its more likely that it is learned behavoir from observing other people of the same sexuality?

With that, do you feel that homosexuality is something geneticallt dictated at birth or are you inclined to believe it can happen as a result of circumstances in early life such as trauma and abuse?

Thanks again for answering questions. I won't dig into the suicide thing but I would like to say that you seem like a very thoughtful and intelligent guy and I feel like you have a very promising life ahead of you once you put aside or conquor your demons.

hes a sad boi because he gets off on the humiliation

Try surrounding yourself with people who don't care if you're gay or not.
Is your family religious?

Quit being a fucking newfag and it will.

Is it a need or a want that just absolutely everyone needs to know that you're from the ghei kingdom?

>Do you figure that your maneurisms are a sidetrait of the same genetic markee that is responsible for making you gay? Or do you think its more likely that it is learned behavoir from observing other people of the same sexuality?

I was born and raised in Texas, the people here who are gay are not usually open/flamboyant. I don't have gay "mannerisms" perse but my voice is "soft."

>With that, do you feel that homosexuality is something geneticallt dictated at birth or are you inclined to believe it can happen as a result of circumstances in early life such as trauma and abuse?

Hard to say. Depression is a mental illness that you can be born with or one that you find yourself suffering due to external forces. I can't say about homosexuality. When I hit puberty all my friends talked about women. I just started "noticing" guys. All I can really say on the issue.

Thank you again. I am hoping to cure myself. If I can't I'll try to hold out as long as possible but if I'm being honest i was much happier, living in delusion granted, with my ex boyfriend. It was nice coming home and being greeted... going out and doing things. Even my friends keep trying to get me to "come out" (They think I'm in the closet, they don't know about my ex) so I can't really be with them anymore. They're reinforcing the mental illness because of societal norms I think.

Nobody cares that I'm gay but me. My family wouldnt approve but the ones who are not dead are about 900 miles away from me. I've since moved far from Texas.

This is Sup Forums. I'm an anonymous stranger, as are you. Sup Forums is not my life, but a means to vent frustrations I've been having recently.

Well, clearly your negative sexual experience with your then-bf has affected you a lot.

It's good that you recognized that you were discomfortable with the slap, but it sounds like there's more to the story than you're telling.

Being vulnerable in front of partner - even being degraded while in bed by them - doesn't necessarily mean the partner looks down on you (or me).

I'm top in bed, but I've never looked down on any of my partners. I feel like I bond with them when they are able to show vulnerability to me.

USA is a bit macho, but it's calming down a bit. It's true that the society is repressive, and that people with feminine traits are mistreated. That doesn't make their behavior right though, it just means they're that much worse people.

It sounds like you've left Christianity behind, but you've maintained beliefs that you've learned, and that cause a lot of unnecessary self-loating.

You have mental illness but it's not because you are gay. You need therapy.

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I do agree and I miss being able to open up with somebody. My boyfriend was very much a "macho" type without being annoying about it. Very manly basically. He opened up to me and expressed his vulnerable side and I felt, at the time, proud that he was able to do that, that he was able to share it with me.

Christianity is something I left behind before i even learned it's negative stance on homosexuality. The only thing I remember about being exposed to gay culture was when I was very young I saw two men in tuxedo's kissing on the news. I asked my mom why they were doing that and she said "They think they're married but they're not really". I asked what that meant and she didn't want to discuss it. Not exactly the sort of thing to leave a lasting impression.

I know I do, but I'm unable to afford it unfortunately. Altho I do disagree, I am a homosexual.

Just be bi and fuck everything, it’s the alpha thing to do faggot

I did explain earlier, but I understand you're probably just entering. A female friend and I decided to date. She was friends when I was with my ex, she knew I was gay. I told her I was trying to be straight. I wasn't able to maintain an erection and never could finish the first and only time we tried to have sex. She was very supportive and understanding, so it wasn't as embarrasing as it should have been.

Often when people are as depressed as you are they've been abused in the past.

That said, there could be other explanations too.

Do you think there's anything the slap reminded you of that could explain your strong reaction?

It sounds like you've made the logical conclusion that because your bf slapped you, he didn't respect you, he looked down on you, and because of that he never truly loved you and didn't see you as a man.

That's a rather long set of assumptions to make, and logically, several of them can be (and probably are) untrue, breaking the logical chain.

In my book, deciding to have degrading sex only means you have degrading sex. It doesn't affect how much I respect the person outside bed. (Though the vulnerability they show during that sex may increase my respect for them.)

I can love and respect someone and still have dirty sex with them.

And, there's really no way to "stop being a man" in my eyes. Well, okay, if you're a rapist or child molester. Nothing else though; consensual sex between adults is just consensual sex between adults.

Unrelated to anything, just curious though. Are you circumcised?

Don't hate your sexuality, it gonna be ok when you find love, Just don't act like an ill person and accept yourself. If you act like a desirable boy or man; someone will fall in love with you and you'll get a romantic relationship and sex will be desirable after that feeling.
Good look user, Life is good.

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Do you hate yourself because of homosexuality? If so, what aspects of it do you hate the most?

In my case, (im bi) i hate that most gay men center their whole personality and essence around their sexuality, instead of it being just one aspect, of many, about them.
They just wanna make it known to everyone else that they like dick, by adopting a range of feminine behaviors, which can vary from very subtle to very obvious.
I hate the promiscuity of the whole gay culture too, and all of this just makes it hard for me to catch feelings with any gay men.

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I hate telling people this because they always draw the same conclusion and it's one I'm tired of hearing... no offense to you of course. I was abused as a child, yes. By my father. I've read and heard many times that that's likely what caused my homosexuality, and that may be true. It's why I'm really trying to seek a therapist... everybody wants to seem like they've got answers but I'd like professional advice. I had a chance at one point, I was involuntarily admitted to a hospital. The kind with doors that lock from the outside, with monitored rooms and sheets made of kevlar so you don't hang yourself. I had a suicide attempt, but I panicked and called emergency services. But they had doctors and psychiatrists talk to me. I wanted to discuss some of this stuff with them but I chose not too thinking it'd get me out faster.. I kept asking to leave AMA but they said they legally had to hold me for 72 hours AND get a doctors approval.

I am not circumsized, no.

It's more like I hate that i am gay more than I hate myself. Recently though I have been starting to feel more hatred towards myself for being unable to fix myself yet, but as I've said I haven't exhausted every possibility.

Sex was desirable with my ex. I enjoyed the sex. And I miss my boyfriend a lot. A lot more than I care to admit. But I have to keep in mind that it's only because of the mental illness that i have. Current society doesnt want us to think this way but the fact is, homosexuality is abnormal. It's a mental illness that affects around 3% of the population of the USA. Some people try to treat it by just "going with it". I find it degrading and dehumanizing so I refuse that option. Because of modern society it's hard for me to find help outside of "just be yourself" which, imo, is like telling a suicidal person to just do it. Be yourself, do what you want regardless of how unhealthy it is. You see why that doesnt work?

Plus the whole lgbt movement has rotten away into a ridiculous joke

Post benis

Oh. I don't think your homosexuality has anything to do with your trauma.

I was abused by my dad too, but I don't think that affected my sexuality (I'm bi). It DID affect how I react to feelings of vulnerability though.

I've also been admitted to a hospital like that once when I was acutely suicidal. I did go voluntarily, but that was because I knew that going voluntarily was the best strategic choice regardless of if I wanted to die or live.

The reason I thought you might have been abused is that it sounds like you feel like you're a bad person. When you deal with a lot of shame (which most traumatized people do), it's fairly common for that shame to latch onto something.

So I'm thinking the reason you look down so much on you being gay is because of your trauma making you feel shameful.

That would also explain why you seem to find your own gayness worse than when other people are gay.

I'm not sure i have issues with feelings of vulnerability. That was one of my favorite aspects of my ex boyfriend. Most guys are very unwilling to share their feelings, him included. He opened up to me though and I just remember feeling so "honored" I guess? Just the idea that he felt he could be himself and be vulnerable and open with me. I appreciated it, it made me feel valid. If that makes sense?

Would you mind sharing a little more about what led to you admitting yourself to the hospital like that? I was personally hoping EMS would come, I'd stay like one night and they'd help me and let me go home. When I woke up the next morning there was police and security a doctor and a few nurses in the room explaining i had to go to another facility. Said I didn't have a choice. That was a fun time....

I don't think I'm a bad person. No worse than anyone else I suppose. I just have this illness in my brain and i can't get it out and that makes me disappointed in myself. I'm not sure how to fully explain myself on that, I'm not articulate enough or in tune enough. It's wrong. I know it's wrong. I feel it's wrong. I can't make it right. And I still indulge in wrong behaviors.

I mentioned this earlier but I still masturbate using a dildo, and I do it to thoughts and videos of guys. I've read it's good to put yourself down when you engage in negative tendencies... though I'm a massive pussy. It's basically me slapping myself, punching myself, calling myself names.

I can't get over my moments of weakness and it's difficult. I want to be normal but I'm so used to not being normal. I feel like I'm slipping away.

It did affect your sexuality as does all sexual exposure to minors does.

He finds his own gayness more shameful because he views fags as shameful and he's engaging in that act. Think of it this way. Someone thinks of cheating as being lowly behavior and dislikes all cheaters, but once they do it themselves they view them as being worse than the others cheating as it's them engaging in the act.

OP here, that's perfectly reasonable to me. When you do something you know it's wrong it's worse than when others do it. Because you have to live with the constant disappointment that even for a little while you became the thing you hate. Makes you feel weak, on top of all the other negative connotations you had associated with that behavior.

Self hate is so pathetic and sad. OP is so afraid of seeming weak and less than a man, but it's exactly what he's doing to himself. People who aren't weak do what they want and enjoy life

Post qt twink pics you fucking faggot

Well... vulnerability comes in many shapes. Being 'weak' is one of them. Clearly you respected him when he was vulnerable. Not sure the same goes for the deeper stuff you have yourself.

Oh, I'd had PTSD for like a decade, and I had spent half year severely depressed waiting to begin trauma treatment. The wait (without any end date) was just too much for me, so the anxiety grew over the months.

I had already mentioned my suicidal thoughts growing, and at that point I'd get impulses to commit suicide many times a day. I was seeing a psychologist weekly just to keep me safe.

Every weekly meeting they asked me to promise not to kill myself for the coming week. Eventually, during one meeting, I just said I couldn't promise that. "Like I could hold out a day or two, but a whole week? That's too much...". Also I had started to write a last will.

Needless to say they got very concerned, and I had to go back the next day and got hospitalized. I stayed there 10 days. The first week I wasn't allowed to go outside alone at all. I have claustrophobia, so that was rough.

Well... okay. So you think that aside from indulging in your sexuality you're a good person? Do you like yourself?

I find putting myself down when I do things I'm ashamed of to just make things worse. You're clearly even self-harming when you do that.

When I feel like a really bad person, I sometimes do things I'm ashamed of to let tha negative emotion of shame out. If I then put myself down, I'll just have more negative emotion I need to release afterwards.

I was abused, but not sexually abused. It was physical violence, psychological abuse and emotional neglect.