Tell me your worst sexual experience

Tell me your worst sexual experience.

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fat chick pussy smell like shit

First time. Was a massive clusterfuck. I can expand if there's interest, but it doesn't improve with details. Let's just say it wasn't good for either of us and we broke up shortly after.

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had a tinder date
drank about a bottle of vodka and smoked a joint with her went to her place fell asleep in the act and got kicked out


As the old joke goes, "Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."

When I was an escort I was gang banged by three hung black men. It was rough and they didn’t pay me.

>drank about a bottle of vodka
Would have had to be a small bottle, otherwise you'd have been hospitalised.
>Yes, I'm saying I don't believe you and you're exaggerating for effect.

It’s actually two and they both happened about a year ago

>be me
>gf and I break up
>move to a new place soon after
>not in the mood to date and new
>have a dry spell for like almost two years
>never been hard for me to do really
>finally get motivated to date again
>meet some girls
>first one, normal chick
>try to fuck
>kind of drunk can’t get hard really don’t cum finger her to completion

I assume, nerves

>meet some 30 something bimbo with retarded fake bolt on tits
>assume this will be a good one to get me back in the game
>tits look and feel completely retarded
>again, pushing rope
>the fuck is happening to me?????

I freak out and start researching dick pills, start exercising, change my diet. Think my dick is broken

>meet tiny petite chick
>not my normal type but we get along
>take her home, sucking on her flat little boobies
>pull the parties down
>boner seems to be working
>absolute worst hanging beef curtains ive ever seen
>literally feel sorry for this girls hideous snatch
>but I’m finally hard so we fuck anyway

Her wired dangling labia gave me back my mojo

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You can drink a bottle without being hospitalized. I’ve seen many soldiers do it.



>otherwise you'd have been hospitalised.

minor detected

>I’ve seen many soldiers do it
Except the faggot that wrote this fiction isn't a soldier and real life isn't the movies

Let's hear it

tits or gtfo

>minor detected
Then your detector is faulty

Tell is more.

Accept when you're wrong friend. I have literally seen videos of people doing it.

How rough? Did you were triple pentrated, anal... Elaborate a bit.

probably wiped back to front.

Well I’m a dude so.

High school: snow day. Me and my girlfriend (G for short) were hanging out with one of her friends (F) at my house, playing guitar hero and smoking weed. I start getting handsy and she doesn’t mind because she was desperate to impress me and she tells F to lay on the bed with us. I kiss G, F climbs on top of me, starts fiddling with my belt.


Haven’t even come close to a threesome since.
Or that time a girl started crying while sucking my dick but that was only bad for one of us

>worst i've seen
petite and beef curtains = my dream girl
mikey likes it..

tranny user. don't enjoy my male genitals sexually at all. for context.

met a guy on tinder, thought it was cool i was a tranny. asked some strange but reasonable questions.

after the date i go back to his. house is a mess but i ignore it because my bedroom was a mess.
start sucking his dick, doesn't get hard for about 3 minutes im barely sucking his floppy dick.
get on his bed on all fours bent over when he's finally hard, rubs my asshole and licks it.
tells me not to look back
look back anyway because im not about to be a tranny murder victim
looks like he's putting on a condom and he has deformed nipples, maybe that's why
feel something on my ass that's very light
he tries sucking my dick and i tell him no
starts sniffing my ass
making weird noises without doing anything to my ass
look back and he's snorting coke or something from my ass

It was just rough because I had only ever taken small dick. That night I took three men over 8 inches for 2 hours. They rotated on my ass and mouth. Cumming whenever and wherever they wanted.


So actually you are a hugh faggot.

I'm not a soldier and I can drink 1 Liter of Vodka on one Day.
85 kg

You can drink a fifth and still not die.
Source: Former alcoholic

>One bottle of 80 proof vodka is enough to hospitalize
Have you ever drank before?

Yeah, user is a retarded troll.

You sound mad

Based dad. If he's not allowed to have a threesome in his house he sure as hell isn't going to let your ass have one.

>Haven’t even come close to a threesome since. Or that time a girl started crying while sucking my dick but that was only bad for one of us


> me,18, at college, bi-curious, but had never done anything with a guy. friend recently came out to me. this was a big deal -- this was long enough ago that being out was still pretty tough, and we lived on a all-male hallway with a distinct frat house feel to it
> go to bed early one night, door opens, and it's my friend, drunk off his ass. he gets into bed with me and starts kissing me
> kinda want, mostly don't
> he has terrible beer breath, his face is stubbly, and he's a terrible kisser
> i just freeze
> he eventually grabs my totally soft cock and just starts pulling
> keeps kissing me, it's horrible
> he eventually gives up, and just leaves. not sure he even remembers
> puts me off to guys for years

Shit, you can drink 2 fifths in a day and still live. Depends on your tolerance. Some alchoholics will put away a whole handle just about every other day.

I was 11 and raped by 3 high school guys...

It fucked me up for a while, but also made me hyper sexual, rape kink, and other stuff.

No i just think that the word "escort" is a missmatch.

You are a faggot prostitute.

Nice larp

Literally this the smell just kills the mood.

Lol this weak ass faggot doesn't have a single friend that can kill a fifth of vodka in one sitting. Lmao.
Do you even know what color the sky is?

ok? so far everything seems like fun. are you some weird tranny christian or some shit?

>be me, 19 years old at the time
>actually fit
>having sex every 2-3 weeks
>inviting this one chick over
>it was clear that we're gonna have sex
>we instantly get into kissing
>she is a bad kisser
>in bed
>i put it in and she immediately moans loud af
>starts moving fast as shit and moaning more
>"she trying to imitate a porn star?"
>get soft

i don't quite remember if i got hard again and jerked off on her a just to cum or sent her home immediately - anyway i sent her home after this.

then i got a text saying that my dick was small.
>ofc it's small when it's soft, bitch

>misses chance to get surprise blowjob


no but on tinder he was talking about how he was gonna fill my mouth and fuck the shit out of me yet in person couldn't get it up.
the drugs wasn't discussed either, if he actually fucked me i wouldn't have had a problem but that topped it off, he was pretty much using me to snort his shit off of.

tits or gtfo

Not atm, but maybe later :P

Probably taking a 14 year old girls virginity when I was 17. The experience itself was fun, but I spent the next month in a constant panic attack thinking I was gonna go to jail and be labeled as a sex offender

>Let's hear it
OK, but I warned you.
>Was about 17; in school but driving. Still a virgin.
>Met a girl through a friend and was having a long-distance relationship
>Had got her off manually (she was one of these that seem to pass out on orgasm - fucking scary first time)
>No real opportunity for anything more
>Got invited to visit her at her parents
>We both know we're down for this
>Poorfag at the time so can't afford hotel and her mother is always home
>Decide we'll investigate the local woods
>Pack a rug, lube (I'm girthy and she was a virgin) and condoms
>We drive out to the local woods
>Walk what feels like miles as she's nervous of being spotted
>Finally find an isolated clearing
>We get down to it, rug is laid, kissing starts, clothes are coming off
>Both now naked and she's wet
>Condom is applied (I hate condoms), hard-on becomes less that a girder
>We attempts to start but she's too tight/not wet enough
>Lube is applied but this is all getting a bit clinical
>Retry carefully, thankfully hard-on more like it
>And finally I slide gently home
>She whimpers
>I gently start moving
>Suddenly she sits bolt upright
>She hisses "What was that what was that what was that?"
>I'm thrown out and off
>She grabs an armful of clothes and covers herself
>I'm frantically looking around with a slack condom now on shrunken penis
>Nothing. Absolutely nothing disturbs the gentle woodland sounds
>"I thought I heard something"
>I don't know. Something. Maybe a twig breaking"
>We both look at each other, sitting naked on a rug, in a wood, a discarded condom, its wrapper and a tube of lube between us, she clutching her blouse across her boobs.
>The wind gets up and blows away the last shreds of any mood
>We get dressed and gather up the stuff, walk the miles back to the car, see no-one, and go to the pub for a drink
>The only thing that got laid was the rug.
I'm not even sure if that qualifies as losing virginity

Final year of college, near the end of the term. Band was playing, beer garden on campus, having a great time drinking with friends. Ran into a girl who I sorta knew, like friend-of-a-friend type thing. Crossed paths a couple times, she was cute and a freshman. Ended up getting quite drunk and in her dorm room. Her roommate wandered in and they whispered a bit, basically she said 'get the fuck out I'm gonna fuck this guy'. Roommate disappears. We kiss a bit on her bed, both of us totally loaded. I decided it would be a great idea to smoke a joint. Girl is a lightweight, takes a few hits and passes out cold, but not before starting to take off her clothes. So she is now passed out on her bed, half undressed. I decide to GTFO and left. Saw her roommate the next day, girl was super rude to me, basically accused me of date raping her unconscious friend. I was totally freaking out, thinking I was going to get arrested any minute, figured the girl didn't remember what happened at all, etc. Ran into her a few days later after freaking out and thinking my life was over for like 72 hours. She explained she remembered everything, had told her roommate the next day nothing had happened. Asked if we could go out partying sometime again. I grabbed her number, graduated the next week, and never called her back. Too risky.

>I have literally seen videos of people doing it
And I've seen videos of them afterwards being loaded into ambulances

Dumb whore tbh.
further conversation disregarded.

If you can deal with the shitty formatting, enjoy:

>Downing half liter of vodka

>starts sniffing my ass
more stories pls

The fuck? You need a year to read that

i have another one but it's fairly short

>having anal fetish
>this girl really wants to try it
>she riding me with my dick in her ass
>she's really into it
>going really hard now completely pumping her ass
>cum inside
>she gets up
>shit everywhere

It still disgusts me to that very day
was it the shit that felt good?
i hope not
still love anal tho, just force the girls to do an enema

Indeed. I can read (and that was one of the three citations of the many out there).

But did this user
say he drank a bottle of vodka over two days? No. he said he did it on a date. Before he got to her place.
Safe to say this was an exaggeration. Point made

I got hatefucked by my ex and seven friends at a party. He just told them I was a freaky slut when drunk who was into rape roleplay, he told them he gave me a safe word (a lie) but I was so slutty that never used it. I never cried and begged more in my whole life.

Things happen. Its sad that you let that scar you for so long. Sex is sex, doesnt really matter if its a guy or a girl. Its all in the right mindset and the right attitude. Keeping things light and fun works for me.

what kind? had one guy start pissing on me, one tried to put a ball in my ass, one guy punched my dick as if i have no feeling because of her and some get soft in my ass and pretend they're hard.

because im trans a lot of guys use me to explore themselves sexually because im `not a woman` or something so im use to guys doing weird shit

nice larp.

if not, you obviously did like it.
why not defend yourself otherwise?

there was like 5 times i could have gotten laid, but didnt because of autismo. does it count?

yeah, turns out I had MUCH better experiences with guys later in college. a few with him actually, though the best ones were with other guys

This was the link that tl;dr was invented for

You're not a drinker, you're a beta faggot with no real life experience. Quit your fucking crying.

>On of the many citations
And all of these citations still need to factor in time of consumption and rate of consumption. Otherwise, these citations are irrelevant. Anyone of age can handle an entire fifth of vodka if they stretched it out over a day, some people need merely a few hours. Tolerance is key. A fifth of just about anything isn't even that heavy. That's roughly sixteen shots. I don't know where you get this concept of alcohol being so potent. The difference between one and two shots is barely even distinguishable and anything below five shots is hardly a buzz for most adult men. This is coming from a 150lb manlet, mind you.

Thats fucked up. Hope you didnt let it ruin your enjoyment of recreational sex. We aint all low lives

This is what I live for, tell us a tale spregboy.

I did. See

You don't need to whiteknight for the entirety of men. She's not going to give you anything for it and it doesn't make you a better person for announcing you wouldn't repeat the act, yourself. It just means you're an average, normal human being with morals.

>Quit your fucking crying
You're the one that's whining about how much a man you are

What holes did they use? Did they use condoms?

>still need to factor in time of consumption and rate of consumption
Indeed. Like on a date, before you get to her place.

Spent 2 hours in the bathroom last night trying to clean my ass so my wife could beg me. Ended up masterbating with a 18in double dildo and a wand after she lost interest and jerked off her self. Now my butt is all sore.

Why do you hate woman so much?

+1 Jesus christ. The human body adapts. I drink and dont get room spinning drunk anymore. When your an alcaholic, drunk changes for you. I can drink amounts that would kill a normal person. To be fair, my livers dam neer shot. Proper liver function test is 30-40 ish, my reading is 145. Not in the military, just a regular construction worker and I agree with this guy, Stop whining like a little bitch, just because you have PTSD cause your terrified of one beer, some of us can drink like fish, and do regularrly.

>be 22
>at nightclub
>pull this hottie
>we walk back to hers
>both drunk and horny af
>clothes come off
>she is wet af. like, wetter than I even thought possible. Like the juices are literally running down her legs
>put 1 finger in her and within 10 seconds she squirts a fountain everywhere
>it hits me in the eye
>it burns
>she's convulsing on the bed like a demon
>stand up and try to find something to wipe my eye with
>can't see, and also drunk. stumble straight into a shelf
>shelf has dumbells on it
>dumbell falls off and hits me square between the eyes
>blood pissing down my face
>mixed with her squirt juices
>my clothes are soaked in squirt and blood
>dizzy and concussed, she calls an ambulance
>I'm laying on the floor in a pool of blood and squirt when paramedics arrive
>spend the night next day in hospital
>she comes with me despite embarrassing scenario

Actually ended up screwing her for a few months after this. She was wild in bed. But ultimately too crazy long term.

Yes, and that date could've lasted for hours. We don't know unless he tells us. You're getting off topic, now.

oh, for fuck sake, pull your underware out your ass crack. I wanted to know if she is still taking cock, and was being nice about it. Where did all the knee jerk fags come from?

I don't. I hate people who hail other people on a pedestal.

Again, you aren't going to benefit from it, regardless. Just saying.

Working as a not-exactly-legal prostitute when I was younger. Some clients were surprisingly normal, most... not so much. How can rich old guys be so gross, I still don't get it.

tell us a story?

nice bro sometimes you just need some sick freak whore with beef curtains to break that downward spiral

I once went home with a gross chick when I was in college. I was drunk and met her while walking back to the dorms. She was an obvious skank and not attractive. Anyway we go to her dorm and she gives me a handjob blow job combo in pitch darkness. Im in fantasy land because Im wasted and cant see her at all. Start blowing mega load. Suddenly the door comes open and bright flourescent lights come on. Her roommate came home at the exact time Im unloading on the pig.


Ok... Here I am!

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Small dick faggot detected

What is the huge shit stain on your hip?


Code for “regretted it after”

>made me hyper sexual

Blames others for her poor choices

Women are truly niggers

its a tattoo of roses

indeed ... this is a veeery nice combo ...
pics required, please

Incel? Serious question

Trust me it was rape... I never said I regretted it or blamed other or anything.

Had a threesome with a girl who started it but wasn't able to handle it.

Friend ejaculated on my pullover and laughed loudly in the shower while a was jerking off an her ass because she was to tight to fuck.

That was 6 years ago. Im still scared af that she brings it up as rape.

Lel couldn’t be farther from an incel but I’ve known plenty of women and girls to call it rape after the fact to save their reps. The guys get fucked in the process

Furthermore I don’t by this “women get raped and THEN turn hyper sexual”

In my experience women are hyper sexually but constantly trying to pretend that isn’t the case or make excuses for it thus “I was abused sexually and/or mentally” and that’s why I’m a slut who makes bad decisions

It’s fucking nomads I’ve had so many chicks say this shit right after letting me go bare in a first date “my dad was abusive” “my boyfriend was abusive”

Fucking nonsense

Had a threesome as a youngster and none of us could handle it. It’s not like the movies and 1 of the 3 is always sort of left out in the cold.

Really changed my opinion on group sex activities, I personally prefer one on one over all group experiences I’ve had

if it only was her

Why do you even need to ask?