A girl I matched with on tinder has in her bio “tell me a bad joke”

a girl I matched with on tinder has in her bio “tell me a bad joke”

give me your best

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A bad joke

Why do niggers stink? So blind people can hate them too

What did the [REDACTED] say to the [REDACTED]? [DATA EXPUNGED]
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Are you from heaven? cause I have an erection

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg?

You suck his dick.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.

Are you today's date? Cuz u 15/10

these are all awful guys

Are they all awful guys or all they all awful, guys?


Fuckin blowing my mind bro

knock knock

who's there?

alzheimers

alzheimers who?

to get to the other side

knock knock.
who is there?
reichsturmführer kruntzmann. do you hide any jews?

A teacher asked her class "What do chickens give us?" to which everyone replied "EGGS!". She then asked, "What to pigs give us?" to which everyone yelled "BACON!" Finally she asked, "What do cows give us?"

"HOMEWORK!" yelled little Johnny in the back.

Bad jokes are so last year. Riddle me this: How is 13%more than half?

A teacher asked her class "What do chickens give us?" to which everyone replied "EGGS!". She then asked, "What to pigs give us?" to which everyone yelled "BACON!" Finally she asked, "What do cows give us?"

*shots fired* as the school shooter runs into the rooms and shoots half the class with an evil white smirk in his face. "take that cunts" he said when he emptied the magazine of his ar-15 into the crowd of bullies who ruined his childhood.
"now suck my dick" he told the female teacher and she did and as the coomer he was, he coomed so hard into her throat that she wouldn't have to eat for lunch this day.

I can row a boat. Canoe?

What sits on the bottom of the sea and shakes uncontrollably?

A nervous wreck.

Why is a man's penis like a Rubik's Cube?

Because the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

A lady phoned a dairy and asked about ordering enough milk for a milk bath. The man on the other end asked, "Would you like the milk pasteurized?" The lady though about it for a second and replied, "No, just up to my tits is fine."

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roaming catholic.

Little Johnny runs up to his father and asks if he can make a sound like a frog. His dad asks him what for to which Johnny replies, "Because Mom said that when you croak, we get to go to Disneyland!"

Two peanuts were walking down the street, and one of them was a salted.

I read this to the theme of SpongBob for some reason...

A man walks into a doctor’s office with a frog on his head. The doctor asks, “What seems to be the problem?”. The frog says, “I don’t know, it started out as a wart”.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one stops just in time.

Q: What’s long and hard and full of seamen?
A: A submarine

Q: What’s hard and hairy and sticks out of a man’s pajamas?
A: His head

Q: What’s long and hard on a black man?
A: The Third Grade

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks, “What, is this some kind of joke?”

13% isn't more than half

>then why does 13% of the population commie half of the crimes

Gay

I like my women how I like my coffee... All over my dick!

My mom's dog died, so I went out and bought her an identical dog to make her feel better. And all she can say is, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

A guy goes to a Doctor with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper. The doctor says "You've got a steering wheel sticking out of your zipper". He says "I know, it's driving me nuts".

A skeleton walks into a bar, and orders a drink and a mop

I like my women like I like my coffee

Pale and weak and spiked with drugs

>Guy goes to see the doctor.
>Guy's like, "Doc I feel awful."
>Doctor looks him over.
>Guy's got a sandwich mashed around his ear
>Chocolate cake smooshed into his hair
>Parts of a salad all over his shirt
>Doctor says, "Well first of all, you're not eating right."

What have a fat chick and a moped got in common? They're fun to ride until your mates see you.