Wrestlemania 33

Who /wrestlemania/ here
anyone gonna watch?

Who you got winning? will THE GARGANTUAN CANINE RAMON REIGNS retire taker?

>inb4 /asp/

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=kiktBcRHABU
youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I've gotta say, the set looks like something from the future.
Feels weird to live in the future.

Yeah the set looks great, and supposedly that rollercoaster is actually functioning.
we better see aj and shane go on it

GOLLLLLLLDBERRRRRRRG

>goldberg
he sucked even when he was good

>>inb4 /asp/
No nigger, just because you inb4 something doesn't make it true. They made that fucking containment board for a reason, so please go the fuck back.

>roster only has indy jobbers with no charisma or personality on it
>zero interesting storylines people just have matches for the sake of it
Yeah no thanks, nu-WWE is trash.

>functioning
Have to disappoint you, but we had pictures of the construction sites. You would have needed a lot more to make this rollercoaster functional. It will roll around, sure, but not a lot if at all. You need to get contracts from the city to build one which would be publicly available as well.
It is safe to say that this rollercoaster is not functioning, neither likely is the ring above the ring besides Shane climbing and jumping off it. Which seems to be the case, as it was announced he would do another mega stunt this year. This seems to be it.

The match is going last, it's already been reported that Roman will likely win and that this might be the Undertaker's last match given his severe condition.
I got less of a problem with that as I don't care about either character (and never did since I never watched the show as a child, regarding the Undertaker).
Moreso, the match between Miz and Cena seems to be fun. I don't care much about technical good matches because I'm not a redneck who appreciates some fucking wrestle work this much. I do appreciate, but it's second or third to everything else (the characters, story, etc). Having said that, I liked Mizdow vs Miz, but their matches have been horrible because Sandow really is a rather bad wrestler (moreso than Miz, I would think). Had he been much more of a good wrestler, then their feud would have been much more memorable / all-around great.

Technically, I should be very excited for Jericho vs Owens, but I just don't like Kevin anymore. He's become too stale for me and I don't really care much anymore. Adding to that, wrestlers always talking in the ring about their motivations for 20 minutes is one of the main points as for why such shows are looked down upon and are terrible, stale and boring.

>complaining about a lack of muh soap opera

FAAAAAAAAAT ASSES

OP here, /asp/ has been taken over by the fattest autitic mongs. It is no longer safe to post actual wrestling threads there anymore.

yes because thats what makes wrestling wrestling and not just 2 half naked guys fake fighting

they're predetermined not fake

>nothing connects
>the ones that do are specifically preformed so that the person takes the least amount of damage possible
It's fake.

Carmella's going to win the SD Women's Title, allegedly.

I'm hype as fuck for THE BIG HOG James Ellsworth

I've heard that only people with low iq watch this.

Well, I hear your mum isn't a whore.

Must be a lot of liars in the world.

indy wrestling is the true kino

i got perfect score from the mensa test and i'm gonna stay up until 6am watching this

Looks like something from an 80s movie about a gameshow where people fight to the death.

Wrong.

The Final Deletion is the true kino.

youtube.com/watch?v=kiktBcRHABU

youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI

>tfw you saw matt hardy and brother nero wrestle live
DELETE DELETE

>United States Championship Match
>Wrestlers are both Canadian

Based Big Dog is finna retiring the Undercarder

I'm jealous lad, was it fun?

I'm just tuning in to see Roman Reigns beat the Undertaker, turn full heel and get the biggest boos he will ever receive in his life.

THE ULTIMATE THRILL RIDE™

I'm looking over the card now, and this seems like one of the worst cards in history.

And what the fuck is a Non-sanctioned match? Isn't Triple H the CEO? Will the match even have a ref?

>mgw I heard Goldberg was back in the ring

make poppa pump again

Goldberg is bland as fuck.

It's basically a no holds barred match, but more dramatic.

It's non-sanctioned because the story going into it is that Seth Rollins is injury prone, so doctors won't officially clear him for the match. In order to get the match, he signed a contract saying that everything is at his risk, and WWE does not officially sanction the match.

Is Roman still a face?


If he retires Taker as a face I'm gonna punch him

it was as matt would say WONDERFULL

been watching old wrestling videos all day, to get pumped up for wrestlemania. realize its not nostalgia from when i was a kid. wrestling was alot better 15-20 years ago.
80s everyone was on cocaine and fucking awesome. crazy characters
90s wcw attitude era. lots of skeezy bra and panties matches. big papa pump

new shit is just boring guys with normal names. and terrible plot lines. women's "wrestling"

...

>non sanctioned
>still held in a venue used by WWE in an event held by WWE

how the fuck do people even pretend to like this

>WWE does not officially sanction the match.

This does not make any sense.

>hero of the movie is in a life threatening situation
>still going to save the day in the end

how the fuck do people even pretend to like this?

worldwrestling-->ENTERTAINMENT

You can only call a No Holds Barred match so many different things before you run out of ideas. Next year there's going to be a "Geneva convention breaching, technically a war crime" match.

Pageantry is stupid.

>tfw he still can't go

next year

Kayfabe, you've got to suspend your disbelief a little bit. It is, frankly, dumb as fuck, but it's also fun if you get into it.

This Wrestlemania is also the culmination of the following stories:

>A man who thinks he's a snake and hears voices challenges a cult leader who believes he's imbued with the power of a demonic nun for the main championship title. The snake man burnt down the cult leader's shack.

>A lone wolf fights the town drunk in a feud that has seen the wolf crush the drunk with a forklift.

>A fat canadian and a middle aged canadian fight over the United States title

>A big dog and a undead guy fight to decide who's yard this truly is.

>A man assaults his boss, and is sacked by his boss' assistant. Instead of letting this stand, he's rehired by his boss, who wants to fight him.

>John Cena gets engaged

Yeah...

I hate you for trying to make it sound ludicrous and worthwhile when their characters never show much if any personality and never these things at all. If anything, are just mentioned on commentary once or twice while the actual stories are awful, shallow and sometimes not existing.

top kek describing the shit wwe pukes at everyone

and im still gonna be up til 06 am to watch the whole goddamn thing

this isn't like lucha underground, that shit hardly comes into play.

>>A man who thinks he's a snake and hears voices

Orton?

>A fat canadian and a middle aged canadian fight over the United States title

kek

>watching NXT on the big TV last night
>Nakamura vs Roode
>dad walks in
>looks at the screen
>'Back in my day we had Andre the Giant. Now you worship Jack Chandre the Chinaman haha. You really must be gay to watch this'
>grabs 3 slices from my pizza and 2 chicken wings and eats them

Fuck I hope he doesn't try and watch tonight. I'm too hyped for it to be ruined by him

Orton/Wyatt HAS been that ludicrous

>burning down a shack
>bathing in ashes
>stabbing a grave with a crucifix
>demonic possession

These are all things that have actually happened as part of the story.

Yeah, that's Orton.

The only one of those stories that's embellished beyond what we've been told is the Reigns/Taker match.

He's actually pretty spot on with the majority.

Is that ugly bong slut that got caught getting spitroasted by two dudes and letting them jizz on her shitty gay wrestling belt gonna be there?

Hey she's not ugly faggot.

lel your life is fucking shit

stream where

That match was the shit. Your dad is a closeted faggot.

so whats the most hyped match?

The gay greased up guy in panties vs. the other gay greased up guy in panties.

Undertaker vs. Roman because it is likely Taker's last match

No.

By WWE:
>Roman Reigns vs The Undertaker
>Goldberg (c) vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Ugly Red Belt

By fans:
>Bray Wyatt (c) vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
>Seth Rollins vs Triple H
>Chris Jericho vs Kevin Owens

>Watches wrestling
>Says he's not a fat autistic mong

lelokay

best tv build is miz/cena or owens/jericho

most interesting on paper is taker/reigns

SEETHING

For normie marks, Goldberg vs. Lesnar, Reigns vs. Taker
For virgin smarks, Jericho vs. Owens, Aries vs. Neville
For both, Wyatt vs. Orton, HHH vs. Rollins, Styles vs. McMahon

>ABOUT TO BE 404'D

Stay on your containment board, fat manchild.

Lucha Underground on Netflix™ is wrestlekino and also Sup Forums.

>Styles vs. McMahon

>Boring 1v1 with no pops
>just watching AJ grab Shane by the pussy for 16 minutes

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Everyone loves AJ and everyone loves Shane spots. The matchup itself is kinda ehh but guaranteed there will be something in the match people will enjoy.

They should do a twist and make it a street fight at the last moment. A Mania needs a twist.

Rumours are that there's gonna be a twist.

In the contract signing, Shane repeatedly asked AJ if he was actually going to read the contract.

The speculation is either that the match is No Disqualification OR that the match is actually AJ Styles vs A representative of Shane McMahon

is it tonight?

>GOLDBEERG VS BROCK
I dont watch wrestling anymore but when I did these two guys fought at mania with Austin as ref. The match sucked because Botchberg can't wrestle.

>Actually you're going to fight... this man!
>VIOLENT VIOLIN STARTS PLAYING
Would be cool, but probably won't happen

Tonight is the night

The good news is that this time round, they're both older, goldberg still can't wrestle AND there's no potential Austin banter.

I confuse good and bad a lot.

if they do this it wwould be the best part of the whole show, god damn

I don't get the appeal of le wacky oriental man

predetermined means its fake you dumbass

>boxer is paid to take a dive in the 7th round
>somehow all punches are now deemed fake

great logic, maybe go back to your capeshit

Says a lot about current WWE when the best moment of WM last year was HBK, Foley and Austin coming out for a 5 minute skit

Yeah bro, tell that fag, real men like us watch it for all the big sweaty men pretending to fight in their tight little shorts, god these fags make me sick, they can never know the joy of watching those dripping muscles clash in manly fake combat, their mighty chests heaving with barely restrained lust brah, totally sick brah.

Oh wow, you aced that test that means if you pass it you get the chance to give Mensa money? Oh tell us your wise insights o ascended one.

The best moment was Zack Ryder winning the IC title though.

Why did Paige make so many amateur porn films?

Normally I wouldn't understand why this is on Sup Forums, but I'm going to the theater to watch this on the big screen tonight so I get it

did you write this from inside the locker you were stuffed into?

but smarks are the losers, the people that want entertaining stories are the normalfags actually which is why viewership is currently in the toilet
smarks killed wrestling as bad as the PG era did

who /BigDog/ here?

BASED BIG DOG IS GONNA RETIRE TAKER

just looked at the card

GOLDBERG IS BACK?

AND WWE CHAMPION?!

WHAT THE FUCK LADS

WWE failed to build new stars so they brought back a nostalgia act.

Yeah bro, tell that fag, fucking puny queer, I bet he enjoys it when you fuck him in the ass that faggot, lets go watch the greased up muscle men touch each other so tenderly now bro, totally awesome!

thought this was a justice league promo at first desu

>Still not 404'd

Welp looks like you need to wipe that egg off your face.

bbdwts
wrestling lifestyle really

Anyone know a good place that will be streaming it?

WWE is giving it away for free if you're a new member.

Paraphrasing here but I believe Vince McMahon once said, "if you are a wrestling fan no explanation is necessary. If you are not a wrestling fan no explanation will do."

t. too young to see wcw