>No greentext ylyl?
No greentext ylyl?
Brandon Kelly
Andrew Long
John Young
yawn as fuck faggot
David Jackson
Lucas Powell
Joshua Long
Isaac Collins
anyone got any plumberanon?
Ryan Martin
Jack Carter
Oliver Hall
10/10 larp
laughed hard
Brayden Peterson
> be me in high school
> neighbour's have this old ass cat
> thing is fucking half blind
> at school one day, principal out on recess
> he gives me and my mates after school detention for sitting on the fence or something
bullshit.jpg
> walking home
> I see the neighbour's cat on the road
> its fucking dead
> think about telling neighbour
> neighbor is like 90, cant even feed the thing
Fuckthat.png
> lightbulb
> me and mate decide to fuck with the principal
> grabbing and stuffing this stiff ass cat back into my bag
> make way back onto school grounds
> principals office
> hes not there
> we stuff the fucking cat in an ac vent above a cabinet
> sneak out and go home
> mission accomplished
> play the waiting game for a week as the cat slowly decays in the vent
> really cold day comes
> ac is off, school heating is on
Ohshit.wav
> next day principal has 3 janitors in trying to find the smell
> ripping up the fucking carpet
> another day passes, smell is getting worse
> ac is on blowing rotten cat stench directly into the room
> principal taps out
> the school has get a fucking maintenance team into search the walls and ceilings
> thinking rats have died in walls
Lmfao.jpg
> me and mate watching the whole thing go down
> hear one of the guys
>"holy shit what is that"
> he walks out covering his face with his shirt holding what looks like a string of hair and grey meat/bones
> one guy is throwing up
> me and my mate dying of laughter
> whole school starts to smell like sewage
> we all go home early
> get the rest of the week off
> principals office is quarantined for a month
> mfw
Austin Watson
brill
Benjamin Nguyen
This cant be real
This is fucking gold
Hunter Gray
Did they give the poor kitty a proper burial?
Benjamin Ward
>be me
>friend comes up to chill
>fast forward to like 9pm
>i'm cooking her a wholesome dinner with protein, carbs, starch and greens bcuz she's kinda anorexic from stress
>her boyfriend calls
>she puts him on speaker
>him "babe im hungry when u coming home"
>her "user invited me for dinner, you can come join"
>him "not interested, sorry. what am i supposed to do then"
>her "i guess you'll just starve then"
>tfw i treat this girl better than he does
>tfw im mr steal yo girl.
Julian Hill
> tfw you gona be making her dinner n she gonna go home n get dicked of him
> tfw your a fucking beta loser
Connor Bailey
Please be bait.
Dylan Thompson
Posted to r/greentexts
This is a gem
No one cares faggot
Alexander King
i'd need to send her home for her to get dicked by him.
Landon Ross
>Posted to r/greentexts
go away
Jace Cook
Old but gold
Lmfao lost
Cooper Wood
>r/greentexts
go
Henry Campbell
Lucas Russell
youre too good for this site, user.
Jayden Reed
god i wish reddit would go back to being dead
Lucas Garcia
you'd never tell me
Alexander Nguyen
Nathaniel Rivera
gold, imma post this on 9gag now thank you person with the username Anonymous post number eight one one eight six zero one nine zero
Brody Gutierrez
Need more of this, holy shit
Kys redditfag
Anthony Rogers
>be me
>in a school with a tard class next to the water
>school staff use two way radios to coordinate in a school this big
>tard class has like 8 permavirgins, cordoned off into their own part of the school
>one day my bros and i see one of the tards escape the blunderdome
>think nothing of it, with any luck he'll goto the wharf and drown
>10 minutes later the radios start going off
>its the tard
>he's basically freestyling a diss track against every teacher
>a lot of hate for his wranglers and the principal.
>staff switch to a different channel.
>we thought it was over
>15 minutes later he's at it again
>principal gets the shits and goes to where the tard is hiding
>suddenly group of tards rush the main admin building
itsatrap.bmp
>tards go full ape on principal's office
>shit everywhere, furniture smashed, paperwork stolen
>tards flee as soon as their bait gets caught
>mfw the blunderdome got shut down a week later.
John Hill
Joshua Smith
test
Leo Taylor
> be me
> be fat and lonely
> mfw
Alexander Fisher
can someone post that one about the spagetti dude who went to the super market?
Jaxon Collins
Tard zoo
Chase Kelly
Dw bro ur not alone
Justin Scott
We had a tard kid that did a similar thing, he baited all of the sub teachers out the staff break room and then ate all the food and poured milk all over the carpet- furniture, smashed a window and then pissed in the bin
Fucking love tards
Lucas Gutierrez
Oliver Sanchez
Gavin Taylor
Sup /b
What's wrong with my dogs?
Julian James
They're just ugly is all.
Connor Collins
Brandon Sanchez
Nathaniel Campbell
fucking faggot dog
Dylan Morris
For all they know some rando cat Solid Snaked into their air vents and fucking died. I imagine instead of finding and punishing you they just secure the shit out of the vents after tearing up the place.
Grayson Stewart
>friendzone
nigga they married
Xavier Walker
>be me
>kindergarten
>1 year younger than classmates but somehow manage to torment them all day
>start pulling other kids pants down because its funny
>teacher has finally had enough
>gives me timeout in the supply closet
>locks the door
>3 seconds later: "fuk. i need to take a shit"
>start knocking on door
>noreply
>"miss!"
>still noreply
>start banging on door shouting i have to poop
>classroom is dead silent
>teacher took class out to courtyard to do musical excercises
>fucking desperate now
>grab a bin with papers in it and crap inside
>when im done i realize i fucked up by not grabbing any of the paper to wipe
>decide to use my hands and rub them "clean" using the big cardboard animals on the walls
>spend about 10 minutes in dead silence inside a shit-covered room
>teacher comes back
>opens door and i immediately bolt outside and go straight to my desk
>teacher walks in closet
>a minute passes and she walks out with an expression of horror and disgust
>she leaves the class wihout saying a word
>next thing i know my parents are in the principals office and im waiting outside
>dont even get punished because that was a clear case of teacher neglect
>get to go home early and watch cartoons all day as a reward for my amazing deed
>the teachers assistant became our full time teacher shortly after
My teacher left me alone for 15 minutes, I covered her classroom and supplies in shit, and got off scott-free.
I assume she stopped showing up because she quit on the spot.
Brandon Adams
gold
Juan Cooper
> be me riding motorcycle
> helmet has Bluetooth speakers
> listening to music having a lovely scoot
> get cut off super hard had to be intentionally
> honk horn deploy middle finger
> car pulls over
> fat bastard gets out
> yelling and hands flying
> can’t hear him cuz music
> I tell him hold on as I attempt to turn it down
> starts pushing me and slapping my bike
> fuck this shit
> get off and deploy head butt with helmet head
> follow up with some punches while on the ground
> fat bastard used bio attack
> fart or shit his pants
> tiem to go
> jump back on bike and realize I just pummeled fat bastard to Katie Perry “baby your a fire work”
Jace Morgan
Not funny, didn't laugh, fake and gay
Ayden Cruz
I laughed. Can absolutely see this happening to someone.
Colton Gray
>Be me 3 summers ago
>Sitting in room drinking coffee late morning
>Windows open, nice day out but my calm gets interrupted
>its a grating drilling noise like a power tool or electric engine together with the annoying crying of a child
>doubleuteefff what is this shit
>I go to the window to see what disturbs
>Its a niglet driving at 0.5 kph down the sidewalk while crying
>I spot why he is crying, a nigger with badly packed suitcase is running towards the bus
>Gets on the bus and drives away
>Crying Niglet turns to follow the bus with his 0.5 kph Niglet-mobile
>i drink my coffee while watching the niglet, his wailing suddenly comfy to me
Chase Foster
Ryan Thompson
they're married and don't fuck?
friendzone level 9001
Easton Perez
shitty day at work today but this thread's good and keeping my mind off it, so i guess ill contribute a shitty greentext
>be me, kid, about 8 or 9 yrs old
>have a friend, we'd always do shit togheter
>mostly we'd just cause shit, like breaking windows, be it cars, school or buildings
>1 day, enter a street where a house is being constructed
>literally no one around, so me and my friend decide to enter it
>the house was already done by bricks, but it still needed alot of work
>due to a harsh rain that lasted for days, the basement is flooded
>me and my friend get an idea
>decide to dump literally everything we see into the water
>tools, cement bags, material, everything (financial crisis at the time, people hardly got by)
>next day, i'm walking from the store which that house is close to
>a group of people is there and they seem kinda distressed
>1 of them steps to me and asks me if i saw anyone around the house
>i say no
>fast forward a few years
>i enter highschool, go to one of my first classes
>it's that guy again
>turns out he is the owner of that house, and now my teacher
>mfw he'll never know it was me who vandalized his house
Christopher Ross
Samefag
Robert Wood
>be me
>taking a course to get my forklift licence
>driving around a course with traffic cones
>do this for about 30 minutes
TimetToTeverseThroughTheEntireCourse.jpg
>nignog can't figure out how to reverse
>holding up everyone
>his brain can't fathom it at all
HarvardLevelCalculus.png
>gets put on a seperate part of the lot
>practices reversing for 40 minutes
>drives through our course suddenly without warning
>running over every cone in his path
>inspector runs out yelling
>me and other dude laughing internally
>mfw he practices reversing the entire day
>mfw he still can't do it the next day
>our face when he's retarded
Jack Rivera
Fake and gay.
James Sullivan
Josiah Collins
Asher Peterson
That was startlingly dumb. You and your friend should've blown each other for a better story.
Nicholas Williams
Luis Cook
Kayden Martin
Getting this wound up over a faggy website getting invaded by another faggy website
Lincoln Thompson
Oliver Garcia
Isaiah Butler
Carson Garcia
Took my retarded brain to a second to process, fucking kek
Sebastian Peterson
Mason Myers
Nicholas Brooks
Jaxon Perez
Noah Wood
Aaron Perez
fucking gold KEK
Jeremiah Evans
This is like the oldest urban myth ever. I've had three fucking plebs tell me that this happened to them until I asked my parents about why I kept hearing it and even they rolled their eyes at how old it is.
Landon King
> be me
> Just aught to tell ya
> if any fucking youtube thinks you can plagarise the text read the bottom line
> Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
>so have a hard one TTS (text to speech) and FUCK really hard off
Nicholas King
Haha. My sister told me a story about some Tards.
We have this place called Kelly Tarltons which is like an aqua zoo, I don't know what the fuck they're called.
>Group of Tards go on field trip to Kelly Tarltons
>Day goes fine
>Only incident is one tard falls in the water
>After the field trip mother of one of the tards is emptying his bag
>There's a penguin in it
>She calls Kelly Tarltons and tells them there's a penguin in his bag
>They tell her the gift shop is closed and to bring it back in the morning
>She explains to them that it's not a toy but a real live penguin
>It turns out the tard falling in the water was no accident
>It was a master plan put together by the tards to steal a penguin
Jordan Wright
>Kelly Tarltons which is like an aqua zoo
>like an aqua zoo
>aqua zoo
>aqua
>zoo
HOLY FUCK LOL.
Lucas Garcia
lost
Christopher Reyes
The Emperor protects.
Evan Smith
Kek, seriously though I don't know what they're called. An aquarium I guess.
Owen Peterson
> Posted to r/greentexts
> go fucking wreck yourslef newfag we don't want any of you here
> go back to /Retarditt where you can watch others arguing about who is the better SJW
Dominic Richardson
dude ur a fuckin cuck lol
feeding that bitch before gettin dick
Grayson Gonzalez
That just made my day. Be it true or not, I believe
Anthony Watson
>Calls someone else a newfag
>Puts a space after the arrow
>Greenrexts lame insults
Jaxson Wilson
I believe there was a follow up with some paperwork to legitimise the claim.
Chase Phillips
spotted the newfag
James Gonzalez
If you can find it that’d be sick but man that’s a great cherry topper to the original story
Xavier Hall
Post pics of your fat titties
Alexander Williams
what?
Charles Gonzalez
They are called aquariums. Aqua Zoo just caught me so fucking off guard.