Has anybody tried dating and all that shit and got really tired of it all and just went solo? Like no more dating, just being alone. Has anybody done that and been happy? Any success stories? Is it possible or is an hero the only solution?
inb4: I've been single all my life and I'm fine hurr durr. Yes I know, you fucking dweeb, the point is that it's different after you've been with someone, you know what you were missing. I mean have you gone solo by choice.
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Yep. Now I just fuck randoms from Grindr. Much more satisfying.
Just got out of 5 year relationship OP, I feel the pain. Just fuck random bitches. I have banged 2 girls since we broke up last month. Was really satisfying cause me and the ex were only with eachother before. Just make guy friends and then fuck girls for fun.
Oldfag here. Three fucking pointless long relationships later I've realized that going solo is the way for me. I don't need that relationship and I don't really give a shit about sex either, so ideal for me.
Thing is both being in a relationship and being solo have advantages and disadvantages. In a relationship, you get sex at the cost of time and money. Solo, you get more time to devout to your interests, but you no vagina. The grass is greener on the other side. The goal shouldnt be to either be or not be in a relationship. It should be to be content with either.
I've been single and happy for a few years now. I reached a point where I realized that the stress of dating just wasn't worth the benefits. Sure, I miss sex and cuddling but I have much more meaningful friendships that fills in those gaps. It's nice to find fulfillment in relationships other than dating, which I probably wouldn't have ever done if I hadn't given up dating.
Dated both guys and girls all through high school and had a relationship my entire 4 year college tenure broke up with my gf after i graduated haven't even though of getting in a relationship in the last 2 years
Yup, had a few serious relationships, one marriage. Divorced for a couple years now. Much happier being single. Hit up tinder when I need to nut. Good times.
yes, but i'm not happy
Never had a gf or had many chances to even touch a girl. Living happy. The only part that sucks are the repetitive lonely dreams
I've been single going on 8 years now, I've been focusing on my career, and bettering my health. Lack of sex isn't a thing, I just go to a club or hit up Tinder when I need a lay. Overall I save money from lack of gifts and meals I need to buy a woman, and I rarely have to sleep with the same woman twice. I would say 95% of the time I'm far happier than I ever had been in a relationship. The one thing I do occasionally miss, is the feeling of waking up beside someone, and knowing they'll still be there when you fall asleep the next night.
True words Sup Forumsrother. But at the same time, you can't force someone else to be happy (your partner in a relationship). But in general you are right
well idk, my last relationship ended 10 months ago and i dont feel like investing anything into stuff like that right now. and im pretty fine with that. might change someday tho
have an old friend like this. we'd been friends for a decade since we were 18 pretty much. He just never evolved. He had a shitty gf for a few months but she just cucked him finally after being cucked for the millionth time he just gave up. Now he thinks memes and WoW classic are personality traits while buying books he never reads just to put on his shelf to impress no one because the only people who will be his roommates are shitty people who destroy everything in the house. I stopped going there and recently just stopped hanging out with him altogether. Haven't seen him for two months and about to change my number so we can't try anymore.
Listen, it's okay to be only, but we're social creatures. I'm not a social person but I would go out once every few weeks. I'm not saying go looking for love, just have fun and keep an open mind. Eventually I met a really great girl and we're about to be married now. Don't give up, your life can atrophy, that's what happened to my friend and that's what will happen to you.
Tried dating women multiple times but the more they were into me the more I withdrew. Idk might just be my trust issues/low self esteem/deprivationsyndrome or any other things that make me less than human. But when a chick tells me she misses me soooo much all I can think about is why I do not feel that even though I like that person.
Ohh 26 without a single relationship btw...I am fucking miserable.
Ive been in many relationships which are fun at first but always end up wishing I was solo instead.
One full year of being single. sure it gets boring from time to time but overall I like it.
Sounds like a little therapy could go a long way with you. Hang in there bud, talk to some people and you could probably figure this stuff out.
>buying books he never reads
kek
>Has anybody tried dating
Yes
>and all that shit and got really tired
Yes, for a while
>and just went solo?
See above
>Like no more dating, just being alone.
Yes, from 23 to 33
>Has anybody done that and been happy?
No, of course not
>Any success stories?
I once went to the movies with a girl, another time I went for a drink with a girl and once for lunch
>Is it possible or is an hero the only solution?
An hero is the 'solution'
>inb4: I've been single all my life and I'm fine hurr durr. Yes I know, you fucking dweeb, the point is that it's different after you've been with someone, you know what you were missing. I mean have you gone solo by choice.
I'm a 39 year old virgin.
I don't know what's worse.
The crippling loneliness or the sense that I'm not normal and I lack the basic social skills people take for granted.
It's a big regret and every day a burden.
>pic related
>hi
AMA?
shit annoys me to no end. He does it with comic books too.He's also slightly balding and acts like it's a life ending thing. It's some kind of self fulfilling prophecy shit
>i miss cuddling
get a load of this faggot
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
stop being gaga over mental ward patients you lunatics she likely cuts herself and will probably cut you too
>painted nails
She's not a looney
oldfag here currently alone. i don't care what any of you say if not an oldfag, sleeping and waking up in an empty bed, lonely dinners, really takes its toll on you. that being said you have to be with the right woman, but try to find her while you can anons. i have had several LTRs and several short flings, and also been single for many years straight so have been on both sides of this fence.
Checked.
Rekt.
Keked.
Been in therapy for a year now, I am already a lot more sane. But this issue keeps rearing its head. Ill see where things go, my friends are not very helpful in this matter because they dont even seem to understand my problem when I tell them. Talked with the last girl that I was dating this summer about this and she tried even harder until she realized shit was going nowhere and ghosted. If it doesnt get better Ill probably off myself on my 30th as I had planned all along.
Thanks for the encouragement though.
so why is she in the psych ward?
Does she do her thinking with her fucking nails?
She's an actor
How would a looney paint nails?
good luck user, can i ask what type of therapy? i myself am looking into various forms. what does it roughly cost? thanks lad
they do let you drop off some things to people in psych wards
>they dont even seem to understand my problem when I tell them
>when I tell them
What you tell them?
sitting in those chairs alone will make someone go crazy
>How would a looney paint nails?
With a nail paint and her fingers?
She could also be hospitalised not long before the pic was taken.
>From 23 to 33
Damn, whats that like bro.
Germanfag here. I get my Therapy for free so I cant really help you in that matter. In terms of what type, according to my insurance its regular behavioral therapy but I think my therapist is winging it a lot of times.
Another oldfag chiming in and seconding this. I still hook up with randos and sometimes even friends that share the same understanding. But I also have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want when I want. It's a pretty selfish lifestyle, but it suits me pretty good.
true
Needing a roommate at 28. Holy shit.
I've never had romantic feelings for anyone in my life, I had a few girlfriends in high school but it never felt like it was for anything but sex. I do feel like I'm missing out sometimes. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm not autistic or anything like that. I do score a little high on sociopath tendencies, so I guess that could be it.
I do really enjoy living alone and having all of my income to myself with no responsibilities except for my job, I'd say I'm very happy with myself. Sometimes when I use my vacation days I just stock up on food and don't even leave the house or interact with anyone in real life for a week, I don't get lonely. Maybe it's because I know I have friends I could call and hang out with whenever I want, but I never really do that anyway.
But when I see relationships portrayed in media, when I see my family with their significant others, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on the best feeling that humans can experience.
Girlfriend wants to cut back sez until marriage (we were supposed to get married on december) because she wants to get closer to god. Im not an atheist but it bother me when she makes those kind of choices as it appear they happen outside of our relationship (because theyre religion based). In the long term i think it would be better to break up, but I tried a week ago and couldn't do it, the very thought of her finding someone else that pretends he okay with her belifs jut to get in her pant fucking kills me, help me do it Sup Forums, help me pull the plug
Awful.
There are big memory gaps during these years.
I sort of remember what I was doing but I have not a single complete memory.
Or shared experience.
Nada.
My memory is pretty complete from 33 to 39 but the virginity and regret is permanent.
Yes, I have. It's infinitely better being alone than being with someone you'll only get tired of in due time. Maybe it's just that I greatly prefer spending my time alone than being around others.
I don't see myself ever settling down and getting married or even living with someone.
How you combine therapy and wage slaving?
>girlfriends in high school
>for anything but sex
You caused this feeling on purpose
Are you like actively searching for someone or is it more of just too shy?
Just do it dude. You're not happy, and once you finally fuck her (if you would even make it that far) it wouldn't live up to all of that build-up. Do yourself a favor and dump her.
And who knows, you could work it out to where she would end up fucking you to get back with you
I try but it's awkwardness spaghetti and they not answer
While I'm all for no premarital sex I think you should dump her.
You are the man.
She should follow your lead and will, not the other way around.
are you really bad looking and awkward? Or just one? If you dont look bad and are just awkward just DM a lot of people.
>Has anybody done that and been happy? Any success stories? Is it possible or is an hero the only solution?
Of course it's possible. I'm gonna say a few things to wake you up from the collective illusion you're still halfway stuck in.
1-Understand that the primal drive to mate and the drive for safe relationship attachments ARE NOT THE SAME THING. Not only are they not the same, they actually work against each other. The more sexually arousing a person is, typically the worse they'll be in relationship. The more comfy and connected a person is in relationship, the less sexually exciting they are
2- men and women process the experience of "love", "attachment", "relationship" and "sex" very, very differently. The needs of women at a primal level differ radically from the needs of men, and not in the way you probably think
3- Realize that literally ALL of your relationships will fail, except for maybe the ONE that works out, if you ever find "the one". By definition, all those that aren't will crumble and cause pain.
4- When you realize that most relationships are likely doomed to fail, and that most of the time your needs and drives will be in direct conflict to those of your partner, then the obvious question becomes WHY DO THIS? people get into relationships to get attachment needs met and for sex. If neither of those things pans out well over time, what exactly is the point?
5- We all objectify each other: women are sex objects and men are success objects. People will try to protest this, but it's deeply, obviously true for better or worse. This continues on and becomes WORSE over time in marriages and LTRs
you can either:
-not get into anything with anyone
-only bang and stay single
-have a network of lovers and friends to meet your needs, or
-make peace with all of it.
happiness is a choice that is *not dependent on any of these situations*. find your happiness first and then make a wise choice about how you want to handle your relations
>DM
I'm extremely awkward and I don't know shit and talk funny and very autistic
Oh weve been fucking like rabbits for most of the relationship, is the sudden change of mind that fucks me up, specially because it coming from outside her
And when I tried to end thing with her it also killed me she seemed okay with it, like she was expecting it to happen, so I had to "take myself" back.
I even play scenarios in my head when im not with her and finally get to fuck all those thots that keep sending signals, stop pretending to be righetous man, because im not, among many things
But when it comes down to telling her...
Man shes not the hottest or the brightest, but the very thought of letting her go, of knowing one day she might forget me... maybe its all about me and im a pussy
You can only get better from experience, the more you DM the better you get.
I dont, I work to live. Barely get by sometimes but that always felt better than wasting away in the cubicle farm I worked in when I came out of school.
I tell them that I just dont get it. Why, even though they are attractive and interesting people, I dont feel any real desire to be with them. Its been a long time since I touched the subject as it never goes anywhere so my recall is spotty at best but thats the digest.
>I work to live
Please explain, what do you mean, I'm not German
Jesus Christ, state of Sup Forums
If you are unhappy, no one can make you happy. You can be single and happy, but eventually you'll get lonely. You can fuck and dump all round you and be happy, but eventually you'll get tired of the drama. You can get a long term relationship and be happy, but eventually you'll start fantasizing about other women. Deal with it, regardless of the situation.
The only way to true happiness is to be happy with yourself.
my roomate is like that.
Hes a good guy and everything but all he does is play vidya on his computer and hangs out in our living room. He got laid like once a few yeara ago but doesnt even talk to women anymore. Like im a lazy guy too but i got a girl and i at least make efforts to leave the house. His lack of contact with women is sloaly turning him incel and i often cringe when he talks about women. Bottom line, id make some sort of effort to at least go out and be a functioning lonely person
She doesn't answer and you can send so many consecutive "hi, how are you?"
Please help
You should help your buddy and take him on a double date
I have not dated in eight years now (I am 26) and not a single day since I stopped have I felt lonely
Dating is expensive as fuck and drains all your free time, the world just wants us to date and get married so that we will have children
Doesnt have much to do with being German. I just dont work 9 to 5. I have three different jobs right now that make just enough to pay my bills but dont use up a lot more than 16 hours of my week (I have a very low living standard) and sometimes I use a little of the secret ingredient to make some extra money.
>the world just wants us to date and get married so that we will have children
Oh no, what a cruel society, gamers rise up.
Kys faggot.
Yeah
Dating is a bit boring, I like talking to people but they tend to get watch their own mouth too much when on a date.
I like being close to someone, but it's not something I think I need. I'm fine on my own and really only think of it when I get really horny.
A breakup hurts like hell tough. Even if you do it nicely. Sometimes it can hurt for long enough that people place blame on eachother and get angry.
I got a good friend out of it. But I won't be dating again anytime soon. The thing that led me to start dating was curiosity about how such a thing worked. That curiosity is satisfied now.
That doesn't sound good user. I'm calling bullshit on that religious righteousness of hers. I've heard of this shit far too many times and (not saying it is the case), but it usually points to cheating. Especially with it being so sudden. On top of that, she seemed okay that you were breaking things off with her, which is yet another large red flag.
If I were you, I'd either cut ties with her and radio silence her, or take your dick elsewhere where its welcome
Give details.
What kind of jobs?
Please.
I never said that anything was wrong with it, I just wanted this user to understand that all the pressure of dating and the shame of wanting to be alone stems from the pressures of procreation
33 y old boomer here.
Memes apart, I've been thru 4 serious relationships in my life, each lasting for around 2 years, which is the point when I usually break up. Really would prefear not being alone, but after the last breakup I'm kinda starting to think the lonly wolf is my destiny, because no matter how hard I try to make it work, sometimes it all crushes down no matter what I do.
Every time.
If both of those options are a no go, then one thing you definitely need to do is spend some times with the bros/lift weights/something that doesn't have anything to do with her, because you sound like you are way too clingy
Reminder that you can be lonely by choice only after you had sex and a relationship.
Thats why youre fucking up, you dont just say hi, hey, how are you. You gotta open up with like a question or a joke unless your attractive.
also shit that sound corny to you bitches love
If you're 33, you're not a boomer
I mean, it's tough out there, but he makes enough to get his own place. The only thing I can think is that he stays because they're the only people who interact with him?
What am I supposed to say?
Who's this qt? do you have any sauce?
It's not selfish if you look at it from another person's perspective, it means you wouldn't be using them or wasting their time, meaning they can invest their time into someone else who will reciprocate it instead of you.
It's good bro, you set a good example of options for others as well as a bonus.
I do newspaper deliveries + marketing on Sunday, pays about 150 to 250 €/month 2 to 3 hours investment
I work for a private stable owner 4 hours to 6 hours a week cleaning out the boxes and taking care of feed for ~280€/month
And I do occasional nightshifts for an event organizer (showing people were to park, checking tickets and standing around looking grim) once a week for 6 to 8 hours, paying another 320€/month
This is just my current workload. I have done all sorts of shit over the years. Just look for the shit noone wants to do and you can usually find some well paid hours in menial labour.
I would say it is the only way to go. I wasted 8 years of my life in a relationship and then another year trying to salvage nothing. Bring solo and living alone is probably one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. I have never grown so much before or made the advancements in my life without having to consider anyone else.
Find out what it is that you want, ask her specific questions, if she refuses to be honest with you, or considers it from your perspective, and you know you will be unhappy living like that (with the possibility of her controlling you again, as she knows she can do it) then I would recommend ending it. She will either consider your perspective, listening to your reasons, or you can both find other people to give you what you want.
If your body and mind need that release, she needs to be aware of it and consider solutions.
My long distance girlfriend has listened to me explaining how I need that release and she supports me in finding casual encounters to get what I need, it was only through expressing all the emotion and pain related though. It was scary to talk to her, I held it in for months.
Yes, I've done it. Random hookups were boring so I tried relationships but those didn't seem to work either. I'm at a point in my life where I just want to be left alone and enjoy it. I'm sure this isn't permanent but I'll enjoy it while it last.
Open with a joke or a question so they are obliged to respond
Jokes make them laugh and want to respond, if your question is interesting enough theyll be interested and respond.
how did you guys get out of post relationship depression ?
maaaan ive tried
but the dude has no game whatsoever
ive given him advice and what not but hed rather just play WOW classic and gripe.
I even set him up with tinder n shit but after not matching with like 10 people he gave up and went back to vidya
Make that 3,
4 long term over the years not exactly horror stories, first relationship was prob the best/most worth while, that was only one worth marry/family. Others were OK but didn't think they were fit or ready for motherhood
Last recurring fuck was a lot younger, she just wanted me to buy booze and spend the night, Then after month or two she asked about moving in, cuz she was having issues with roommates?
kek
Said I'll consider. Next week she called "Got any booze user?"
"Na decided to cut back on drinking , Gym, jogging with Doggo."
The cut back part was lie, never drank much anyways
Few years now have gone by, dont feel lonely or needy, though was never emotionally dependent on others, prob why relationships were kinda doomed, Im cool by my self, and blame me for "population decline" if want, but I refused to bring child into this shithole when opportunity knocked
No chance in supporting fam with single parent working, and TV/daycare kids of half the problem these days
My income, Doggo, 5 months of work in winter
Hell ya OP Im good
Maybe this isnt you, maybe you really need someone to "complete" you. (Dont mean that in neg. way, There is/was nothing more important than families)
Maybe you'll find some undamaged girl and raise a decent contribution to next Gen.
But that chance grows slimmer each day.
Ya same, figure 4 spoon is missed. couple extra pillows to put knee on helps
I have been single for 8 years coming up in a few months. And I can tell you I am not miserable about it. I've grown a lot as a man with all of my free time. I've been able to live more freely without the sacrifices it takes to make a relationship work (which in my experience, ultimately ends up being a one way street). Women will ask you "What about love though?" As if THAT is what they really bring to the relationship most of all. Listen man; the one thing you learn about relationships when going solo for so long is that you get to sit back and watch how it all works for others. Watch it all repeat for the men in your life with their broads. You will realize a pattern with most of them. While I won't deny that "good girls" exist, they are more rare than the finest jewel. They are VERY few and FAR between. You are more likely to hit the lotto 3 times over again than find one. I'm not trying to "shit on your hopes", I'm telling it like it is. Good luck
Dating someone now and all I fucking want is to be alone. Thinking of breaking up with her but too scared of never finding anyone else. I probably could but I’m too scared. Also scared I’d hurt her which is fucking dumb.