Be me

>be me
>Wanna join military
>Score high on asvab
>Past came to haunt me
>Recruiter says can't join
>What do now?

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Be glad you're not dying for a fucking oil company

What exactly do you mean with "past"

Shit that came up in my livescan

Like what is this shit you speak of?
Care to explain?

Was drunk one time in Compton. Got disorderly conduct. 2 driving without a license. A DUI when I was 17 with weed on me. N other stupid shit

wut is livescan

I guess you better kill yourself

And you thought you could join the military? You’ll be lucky to br able to vote before you die...

Oh n I bought a moped, got stopped n got a suspected GTA but the investigator dropped it but according to the law I still fucked up

le Legion d'Etranger, aka French Foreign Legion, is the most hardcore military unit in the world and they will accept literally anyone
the only down side is that after a couple years you become a French citizen

They take a picture of your dick, and a computer algorithm counts the veins and projects their pathways which enables the computer to then determine your future criminal record within a 15% margin of error.

Trips of kek

lmao why would you want to join the fucking military?

Do I need to be fit?

>le Legion d'Etranger
>France
>most hardcore military unit in the world

mmkkay

they will make you fit

except for the officers everyone in the unit is so homocidally batshit insane that they want to be French even though they weren't born French

lmao actually made me kek

Have you given names to these fantasy women?

This. It is spelled Légion Étrangère and you better get used to being corrected because you'll learn to speak French fluently. It's not that hardcore, unless you're a faggot, you can expect some good times.

>>most hardcore military unit in the world
They had to be.
The French saw them as a disposable force to be used where they didn't want to risk Frenchmen.
BTW... There's a Spanish Foreign Legion. There have been others.

>most hardcore military unit in the world

they're infested with outcasts and criminals

most hardcore are tier 1 units.
and the foreign legion definitely isn't one of them

also the LE will give you a new legal identity and your old identity will be dead
so you can't be extradited for anything

Get a waiver. They still want you

Just so you're well aware you'll end up in a bodybag no matter what... Today wars are way less deadly, which make the existence of the Legion less justifiable on a judiciary standpoint. But if OP is really willing to shit his organs to avoid the rope, the French military can do that.