How would you get away with the perfect murder?

How would you get away with the perfect murder?
Is there a way to kill someone without getting caught? And not just a random person in the street,lets say,,, your wife,,,or your boss...
Or is it impossible with today's police methods?
Theoretically speaking of course.
Give me some ideas.

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No one???

>perfect murder
Top kek
Perfection would mean you dont have to murder.

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You know what I mean.

No, I mean you cant possibly have a good reason to kill someone.
Give me a scenario and I can give you an example

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I want to inherit my wife's money and divorcing is not an option.
I don't love her anymore and im really greedy as i have no income of my own.
Scenario one.

Murdering her for her money is a massive mistake. Youre much better off convincing her to use her money to your benefit. A good salesman can sell saltwater to a whale in the deep blue sea. Solution one.

Tl;dr he said manipulate good
P.s. also asking about it here will just fuck you if you're planning on it

Are you retarded? You should know that the perfect murder is the one in which no one can possibly link you with the victim. The first thing the police will do is ask everything about your day, from a really detailed story to witnesses/calls/location and with all this tech you'll end up getting caught in the lie

Im a psychopath and i just want to kill for the thrill of it.
Scenario two

Theoretical anons , theoretical....

But there's always a way if you plan it good enough

Top kek. Nobody gets away with their addictions. So just like how addicts get treatments to reduce or eliminate their cravings, so should you.
One really successfull way to treat and or remove an addiction, is to replace it with another, more affordable, more easily accessable addiction. Youll find there is a lot out there that can give you the same thrill for much less trouble.
Solution two

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why dont you just think. be logical, follow instincts and know when its over. remember you dont wanna be a shark you wanna be a orca. remember that

as far as body disposal goes (my area of expertise) once the job is done immediately put her on ice, make sure the body is properly frozen all the way thru. then using a band saw dice her up into rectangles (about 2 inches by 4 inches wide, and about 6 inces long ) given that the body is still frozen I would reccomend putting the wife-rectangles into multiple 5 gallon buckets. fill said buckets with concrete. drive to the ocean, purchase fishing poles (in order to not look suspicious) rent a boat, then dispose of the evidence in the ocean. I would reccomend looking up where the ocean gets super deep in your area (i.e. the ocean drops off to about 3,000 feet offshore in most places) drive the boat out there, and dispose of the wife.

or feed her to pigs

No, murder is a counter productive approach to more creative solutions. Youll find you not only accomplish more, youll also develop better means for out performing your adversaries and any other obsticals in life

>Walt Disneys Frozen
Top kek. Not only will the "ice" just melt creating a bigger mess, but the body wont freeze.

That is not a viable solution.
Serial killers kill... Not do something else in place of killing.
And for every serial killer who has been caught, there's ten more who have never been caught.

Find someone who needs someone murdered too. Come to a mutual agreement that you both will take care of each other's problems while the other has a solid alibi.

But id have to kill him too afterwards because you just can't risk him talking.

Soo...nice one Elon Musky..

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follow them, learn their schedules, look for an opportunity, get a good knife for doing it, when ya get stabbed you kinda just go silent. then et a hold of some strong acid to dissolve the bodies down, then flush the remaining sludge into a river or storm drain.

>10 serial killers that havent been caught
I call horseshit. Just like any other addiction, it will catch up with you. If in fact there were ever any 10 killers roaming free, they "got away with it" because someone killed them in the process of them trying to kill them, meaning youll never solve a murder if the murderer was killed shortly after the murder he or she commited.

I'm not trying to be productive or a nicer person.
Im just trying to figure out foolproof ways of killing someone. That's all

is what im talkimg about here

Thats fine. Im just telling you that if you took the opportunity to review your options, you may find that murder is more difficult and less satisfying.

Your wife? You'll be suspect #1

Do you realize how many psychos have never been caught all over the world?
Its also very rare for the killer to become the killed.

I'm a dolphin

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Exactly.... But there has to be a way.
Nothing is impossible.
Theoretically speaking of course.

>functioning psychos
Wut, breh? I doubt theyre full bliwn psychos if theyre running around with a mortgage and paid off cars commuting to their carreers

Hire a Hitman from the deep dark web

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Your best bet is to ask on a public imageboard that keeps logs - no way that could be traced back to you in an investigation.

Are you saying that serial killers and psychopaths
Don't have families,jobs, friends? A life?
Cause they do.

1. I love them dubs
2. Fourteen AND 88, heck yea
3. Didnt you hear about that pedo ring that got busted on the deep dark web this week?

Not outline your tactics on a public forum.

/Thread

For the third time,,, THEORETICALLY.....

Im saying its incredibly difficult, but not impossible amd for those which you have suggested exist, are more of an annomoly than the norm.
The norm is you try to murder someone and succeed in murder but fail in escape or you fail to murder and fail to escape

You mean in MindCraft?

Read the rest of the thread you moron before you
/ anything

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>artistic
AUTISTIC, faggit.

Sex play accident. Accidental asphyxiation. You could even legitimately introduce her into it and have legit sex toys/ropes around the house.

Or if she uses drugs slip her some laced with fentanyl

The police are not perfect. They never will be. There's plently of murders that occur and don't even get reported. Even the seemingly omniscient, technological juggernaut of modern investigation methods will never be able to outwit a few basic tactics. Making it look like an accident is not hard. Neither is simply leaving them without a suspect.

While the better part of me disagrees with murder, if you were going to get away with it, you'd either eat them afterward, or you'd dissolve the body in acid. Anything else could easily be burned over time. But again, how about you DON'T kill someone. Try and find Jesus mate. You'd be better off.

It may not be impossible with todays methods, but i think of all the people found guilty through methods that didn't exist when the murser was committed. You basically gotta plan on getting caught some day and just hope that you don't. That way, you can at least be that badass that's like, "'bout time. What took so long?" while blowing an unfiltered cig in their face.

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We like to call it deep sea fishing. How such a lovely day can turn really sour.

Lol that's a horrible idea. Then you are forever linked to another person who knows your dirties secret and you are both incredibly paranoid that they will someday talk... And you're both killers, so you know how far your each willing to go to permanently silence that other person. Or, if you're the person who goes first in the scenario and the other person changes their mind, now you're fucked.

>faggit
FAGGOT, autist

Hmmmm.....Sex thing might just work

Say it out loud. Youll notice you dont use an 'O' when you say it..

Its a theoretical thread created to pass my time and i certainly would not be posting about it if i were really planning on doing it. If you've found Jesus tell him to look me up ,we could hang.

Why are so many of you so fucking retarded?
>hurr durr murder is dumb
>posting about wanting to commit a murder is dumb
>don’t kill someone

First guy who said about manipulation being better than murder had a good point and isn’t a retard but the rest of you go back to fucking tumblr or reddit wherever the fuck you came from. Fucking newfags.

Where are all the yellowfags at? This is literally the kind of content they would want, something where you can be creative and not fucking porn

Go to Mexico, stage a cartel hit collateral damage death. Many Americans “accidentally” killed in Mexico by cartel were husbands killing wife.

Leave Jesus alone!

First guy here. Thanks, fren

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My wife just asked me who im calling a faggot.

I didn’t even know he went missing. How would one find him?

I concur.

Sex thing would get you a manslaughter verdict though. You’re literally saying that you did it by accident and using that as a way to get away with it - probably wouldn’t fly especially if your wife’s family really wanted what they would deem ‘justice’

I guess it also brings up the question of what a perfect murder means - people would still blame you for it so if she could’ve had some crazy beta orbiter who would then kill you for revenge

>yellowfags
Im the OP from last nights thread (pic related) Im still probing for non porn thread ideas

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Jesus and Pedro do my lawn work every month.
Why would i leave alone?

easy mode is not getting caught, hard mode is not even being suspected, which usually involves a 3rd party or some elaborate manner of death.

big cities are super hard though, cameras everywhere

give me a scenario

Teller youre testing out your pronounciation asker if she can hear an 'O' in faggit when you say it

Tell her you’re calling her a faggot

Yeah... forgot to think about her family and friends.

outlive them

Finding Jesus is a journey. The journey has no beginning and no end because in the end, Jesus finds you

Because Jesus deserves better than this gay earth, i dont care about petro

Alright then we could call him Yeshua (which is his Hebrew name and the name they call him in the Middle East where he was born. Mexican joke now dumb.)

See?

Just bump this thread with murder ideas then, or find some other non porn thread and bump it by actually talking about whatever the op is talking about.

Eh most threads will still be porn for a long time anyway because that all that people reply to most of the time.

Im also this guy. Im working on a grander solution

what is this even?? are the watches free?

I can't turn off the package insurance of $16 p watch, so this has been useless

Dont do it, user.

I think about this alot. I hate to give away my method.
So essentially its killing my wife.
I will speed, ask her to grab something in the back or unbuckle her seatbelt, slam into a post. If she lives I play it off like a accident, if she dies I get to be the grieving husband. I mitigate my risk by being buckled, I'm banking on the idea of it throwing her from the car or the impact Killing her and only injuring me. I figure being in the wreck take some suspicion off me on top of playing a victim for losing so much in one go.

Good, I hope youve learned

No scenario... Let's just say i want to hypothetically kill my wife and get away with it.
Im in a medium sized town,very close to the ocean,have a car and a small boat. Two kids 12 and 16. Im unemployed currently.
We have a seemingly good relationship as far as everyone is concerned.She has the house in her name and most of the money is hers.

Too long

Best thing I can think of is to somehow convince her to do something that puts herself in danger, like drunk driving or something.

No .
Nothing is free.
Its a sales gimick

Gomen'nasai senpai

This might just work.

The impact will need to greater than 55mph, this will likely kill you as well even if youre buckled in.
The frontal impact of thr collision will force the belt deep into your sternum, tearing all of the connective tissue holding your ribs to your sternum and sending the ribs into the heart and lungs and in the process catching your vital blood vessels pulling them from your heart at the root.
Reduce the risk if you want to be successfull. If you manage to live, youll suffer from severe depression brought on from the concussive forces to the brain. No lie, look it up depression and concussions.
Then youll likely confess your crime in a depressed emotional state to law enforcment

Arigato dawg...

first thought is flip the boat, but that involves you living, so you'd have to be close enough to swim. hiking and cliffs are a good option. if you have a friend you can count on, Just have them break in and do it while you're somewhere else(verifiably) and NEVER say anything via message or call

Poison her with puffer fish.

I know you arent referencing the song, this is just my response

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Yeah but you’re semi derailing the thread. Like yeah you raise a good point about it not being the best choice but that’s not what OP is asking. You can still say what you said but at the end of the day people still do shit for no reason. Someone might just want to murder and try to see if they could get away with it. Not for a thrill, not for money, just for the sake of fucking doing it. Then how would one commit a murder where they wouldn’t get caught, the idea behind this thread is so much more interesting than just “well, you could not murder a person”

Air bag and seat belt?

Nope if you survive, youll be in a constant state of physical suffering. The money wont bring you comfort

A..anata wa s..s..suteki sugiru

Exactly this.
You get it user.

At the heart of a sucessfull thread is a debate.
The process of debate filters out all impurities in the ideas posted and makes for a better thread overall or at least thats been my observation

Airbags are the second line of defense and are mostly for your head.
Im talking about your chest and heart

It might, but it also might not.

Surely the perfect murder wouldn’t rely so heavily on luck. You practically need luck to a: Kill her, b: Not kill yourself and c: be able to convince that the driving error wasn’t really your fault so you can’t be hit with a manslaughter/negligence/dangerous driving verdict

Last one would be hard if there are witnesses and it could also be kinda difficult to time it exactly so that no one sees the actual crash

see here .

Mitame yori naimen no hō ga zutto suteki desu.