Anyone on Sup Forums willing to be my therapist tonight? I need to talk to someone I dont know about some things...

Anyone on Sup Forums willing to be my therapist tonight? I need to talk to someone I dont know about some things, maybe one of you fags have some knowledge about how to deal with things..

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Suffering and tragedy are intractable elements of life. Accepting them and moving past them is how to live a good life. Embracing them and using them to make yourself stronger and wiser are how to lead a great one.

Wise words but with my particular case right now they don't help

It's actually something good(?) I'm trying to process

What the fuk is the problem?

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Go for it op. Im in therapy maybe i can help or maybe you can help me.

OP here. So to provide background.. During 3rd and 4th grade, I was close friends with this girl, let's say her name is Ruby. We had a lot of laughs, a lot of good childhood memories. She was so pretty too.. massive crush all that good shit. When 5th grade came around she and I went to different schools. I was kind of a loser, as I assume most of us probably were, but who knows.. During my 5th and 6th grade years I tried to re-establish contact but to no avail. My dad made me repeat 6th grade. During this time I had literally no friends. People talked about me behind my back, bullied me, got me in trouble for things I didnt do. My parents were also recently divorced and my dad was dating this bitch that made me feel worthless at home on top of feeling worthless at school. I unknowingly fell into a depression that later affected my ability to process things normally and rationally. Towards the end of 6th grade I met another girl in my neighborhood. After several years we dated for a while. Only lasted just over a year before she left because of actions I took as a result of my depression. Over time I became numb and it was as if I couldnt feel anything. I forgot what being happy feels like. I kinda forgot what anything feels like. It wasnt until this time I became aware of my depression. Only a few months ago have I really started thinking about it. I smoked weed regularly for years after she left and quit this January and I feel more clear minded and able to actually process things maybe a little more normal. All this was over the course of about 14 years. Now remember Ruby? I never stopped thinking about her. I always had wondered if we hadn't lost touch how different my life would be. I'd wondered if we would have been together. Well last week she reached out to my brother on Facebook looking to reconnect with me. We hadn't spoken in more than 14 years. I started texting with her and last weekend we went to the races together. 1/2

Only thing is, she's married. I have feelings for her. For the first time in years I think I feel something real. Here's the tricky part. I dont know what these feels are or what they mean. It feels good to be in contact with her. I feel like I'm a better person than I was when that other chick left me. I think I want to be with Ruby but there are things to consider, the most prominent being her marriage. She has said things that indicate they're having problems. She keeps vaugely saying she wants to leave, not providing much detail. He reminds me of my old self, very jealous and selfish. The other thing I feel I should consider is why I feel things, and what those things are. So that's about where I'm at.. 2/2

I had a particularly rough day today.. might be fired. She hasn't texted me today, dont expect her to. Why do I feel sad about that?

Stop trying to reconnect with girls you've been fantasizing about for years. They will never live up to your expectations IRL and they know it. No one wants to be with someone that can't fucking move on

You must have missed the part where she reached out to me.. also we're not idiots. Both of us knows that the other isnt the same as they were all those years ago.

Op if shes married stay away. Its a bad idea. You have those "feelings" its called horny as hell. Go to school, get a job, get laid, life will get better.

Shes just wanting someone to want her. You not getting nothing but used. Be stupid if you want. Come back in a few weeks crying about it.

Won't read the bullshit you'll write. I'd bet it's about a girl. Boo hoo your poor little heart. Here's my advice: Man up you fucking faggot. You always die alone. Time to live for yourself.

>You have those "feelings" its called horny as hell.
I promise that's not the case but thank you for your input. I do want to go back to school to get a better job but I dont really have any interests.. I just want money. Any suggestions?

I mean it might be real, but with both of you fantasizing for all this time, its double likely that you will both be disappointed with the reality of each other.
It might work though. It depends on the people. I reconnected in a similar way. Worked out Ok but it wasn't easy

>Won't read the bullshit you'll write. I'd bet it's about a girl.
We all know you read it. It's ok. Not trying to have a BAWWW thread I'm just looking to talk through some shit.

You haven't spent any substantial time with her in such a long time that the person that she was has effectively been replaced by a completely different person. You might share some memories of fonder times, and she might be aesthetically attractive, but you have no rational reason to be attracted to her given her current social status.

The only reason she has any appeal to you whatsoever is because you're drawing a dominance parallel between yourself and her from when you were younger. In your mind, the status quo between you is unchanged, and you being a boy was likely more dominant and won most of the games you played with her.

You are only interested because you want to recapture that feeling of winning after years of depression and loneliness. Your relative status in 4th grade was higher than it is now, and you want to rekindle the associations you had from back then in the hope that it will raise your relative status in the present. But it only makes you kind of a creep that's stuck living in the past.

Here's how every conversation is gonna go when you take out all the bullshit and hedging. "Hey, remember when we were like 9 or 10 and we did this thing? That was great. Wanna fuck?"

Guys I'm not looking for advice on how to handle her return into my life. More than anything I'm trying to figure out what these feelings I have are and why I have them. I'm not used to feeling anything good

Stale pasta

Fuck. You might be right user.. How would you handle this situation if it were you?

Yeah its called horny. Want money not good. Go do a business degree. Accounting make money. A trade is always good. And stay away from friendzone.

It's not pasta but ok

Horny buddy. You so hard up you fap 5 times a day thinking about her and shes slurping on his cock.

Hmmm...So he was behind of that?...

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>I reconnected in a similar way. Worked out Ok but it wasn't easy
Care to tell me about it?

Cordial and professional distance.

There's the possibility that she wants to recapture that feeling of winning too. And if she reaches out and sends sexual signals, you can make a determination to reciprocate. But from my perspective, your relationship would be co-dependent and pathological, predicated on a sense of longing for a simpler and purer time that the present times could never adequately capture, which would lead to resentment between the couple.

>Cordial and professional distance.

Please expand on this, explain it like I'm retarded.

>There's the possibility that she wants to recapture that feeling of winning too.

I believe that may be the case. She was bullied a lot through middle and high school and said she has also been in a depression, so what you said makes sense..

>But from my perspective, your relationship would be co-dependent and pathological, predicated on a sense of longing for a simpler and purer time that the present times could never adequately capture, which would lead to resentment between the couple.


So to put that simply, you're saying we would grow to resent each other if our relationship (if it were to reach that point) failed to bring about the feeling of simpler times? That most of this is likely only nostalgia?

You've got the gist of it.

As for cordial and professional distance, pretend you're working a customer service desk when you're talking to her. Listen, be respectful, crack a SFW joke or 2, but don't seek further engagement unless she makes the invitation.

And if she does make an invitation, carefully consider whether it's an invitation out of a sense of friendship or obligation, and presume it to be so, rather than presuming romantic inclination. Unless she's climbing into your lap, maintain the customer service rep persona.

I appreciate it user. Thank you for the intelligent input. I haven't made any romantic or otherwise sexual advances and have no intent on doing so. You said I have no logical reason to be attracted to her and you're not wrong, though she is beautiful. My awareness of that is a lot of what provoked me to make this thread. I know it makes no sense, but to say I desire a connection to a simpler time with close friends explains it perfectly.