I'm scared bros. How bad is this gonna be? I just want like high 70s low 80s metacritic...

I'm scared bros. How bad is this gonna be? I just want like high 70s low 80s metacritic... thats all i ask for please Lord

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for me, it's Idris Elba

Why is he standing like that? Where's his fucking hat? Oh wait, he's not Roland he's a fucking peanuthead junglebunny nigger.

Where the fuck's his hat?

this.

making him black doesn't bother me. but no fuckin' hat?

dropped.

Hat Hivemind.

>being racist
>but also a fan of liberal King and The Dark Tower series where a sassy black lady is a main character

hmm

>americans "hate" black people
>america is half full of blacks and create all the cuck porn

makes you think

I read on aintitcool that there was a sneak peak at the film, and Roland was shown using a speed loader on his guns and not with his finger. Fucking D R O P P E D

>create all the cuck porn
that's the jews, and jews don't hold allegiance to any nationality, they're a parasitic race

>12% = 50%

yuropoors ladies and gentlemen

The fact that it's been delayed again is not a good sign.

SPBP

How do you cast Idris Elba and Matthew Mcconaughey, but then switch what roles they should be? Dark Tower is babies first Dark Western anyways, so not much lost but still

So is Susannah going to be a white lady that constantly berates Roland calling him a nigger?

oh man I wish.

>DARK TOWER
>Tagline- SOMEBODY IS GETTING BLACKED

You AIN'T wrong.

White protag and black villain is racist.

>Jake and Roland are being chased through the tunnels by the slow mutants
>Jake falls but catches the edge of the handcart
>Jake: "Roland...please..."
>Roland: "Sorry Jake...Black Lives Matter."
>watches as Jake falls to his death

Post your reaction.

Calm down cracker

>character's race actually important to the story and character and how other characters act around them
>make them black

...

where the FUCK is his hat?

swapped it out for the horn of eld on this level of the tower, in which he also happens to be black

so on this go round cuthbert took his hat? and made him a nigger?

Well to be fair, Cuthbert was always the prankster.

>Elba whips out his dick
>"at last I am the dark tower"

fucking cuthbert, ruins everything

>originally to release in February
>pushed back to july
>pushed back to august
>still no trailer
>sony

Dark like diversity dark? or like Zack Snyder dark?
Either way, it's bad.

zack snyder dark would work just fine, never seen him do a western though so who knows

Relax~ It's gonna be fine.

cry your pardon sai, but thats bullshit its gonna suck hard

I don't think Idris will be able to convincingly say the Gunslinger's Creed.

god I hope so

It is going to be unimaginably awful, and it will be worse and worse depending how much you liked the book series. Sad fact of reality, but mark my words.

> Rolands godtier reload skills
nah they wouldn't intentionally fuck that up, would they?

HAT WHERE?!!

...

this

don't blame him, blame your media that completely overrepresent them and fellate them at every turn

You know ((who)) we blame

You can always place your faith on the tv show adaptation about Roland time with Susan, Alain and Cuthbert...

That one is the one that really scares me. I mean, there are almost no chances that won't turn to be a teen soap opera drama or something on those lines. I bet they'll forget the faces of their fathers and will invent ton of in between adventures to make several seasons out of it too.

He lost his hat in the first book you ducking retards

God damn it I can just see this thing like being worse than Starz tier.

Delusional if you think this thing is going to be successful and get a tv series to supplement its "cinematic universe". Literally no one is talking about this movie. Fucking Sony, man...

fuck no, it would be awful teen soap Shannarah style is what those assholes would do, the only thing that might work is HBO level funding a good director and the rights to go hard R

hes got Jake and no eddie or detta you fucking mong

Yeah. Like in the first book. After he loses his hat

After Susan dies, they go on adventures hunting skinchangers and invisible rapists.

Could get real good

He doesn't have a cowboy hat! Pathetic!

unless they go full body horror with practical effects it'll never work

theverge.com/2016/9/21/13002826/the-dark-tower-tv-series-stephen-king-idris-elba

Oh i wish i was making that shit up lads... believe you me.
Unless it's been officially cancelled i think this still holds...

Page 4

He should get a hat

Book 5, senpai.

Though I think Steve forgets around book 3 and writes that he has one

Lmao blacks btfo how will slaves ever recover

Oh, I get it. He's tall and black, like a dark tower. It's pottery!

>that's the jews, and jews don't hold allegiance to any nationality, they're a parasitic race

Wrong.

It's out in a couple of months and they still haven't released a trailer. The bootleg trailer was horrific and the response from the exhibitors screenings (where even trash like the Jumanji remake were praised) was that this was a complete disaster.

M C C H I C K E N
A
Y
O

t. Jew

How is that wrong? The best example is Isreal. Isreal is an apartheid state and should be abolished. Jews fuck up every place they go. They're worthless parasites who take and take and contribute nothing.

So das it, huh? We sum kinda Dark Tower?

>the one time race is actually important to the fucking story and characters
>they make him black anyway
This is going to bomb harder then Ghostbusters.

The old fashioned way

Detta's race is important. Eddie's is

Roland's isn't.

This.

People also pay to have someone shit in their mouth.

yeah, its not like a huge part of the best book in the series is about odetta railing against roland in particular for being a honkey

o wait

dont fucking talk unless youve actually read the books, retard

>His hat was gone. So was the horn he had once carried. Spilled from the hand of a dying friend, and he missed them both.

Roland doesn't have a hat at the beginning of The Gunslinger.

Don't misunderstand. I think this movie is going to be absolute dogshit.

>Roland's isn't
It's as if you never read any of the books and have no idea what you're talking about. Either that or just plain denying the reality you live in.

Aren't his revolvers supposed to be almost comically big? I remember the mobsters thinking it was a toy gun that would never fire.

That's certainly what i pictured when they told me to a imagine grizzled battle hardened clint eastwood type amirite guys?


2/10 for Jake though , did they not read into the subtext? Jake is obviously supposed to be an asian female to male transgender.

yes, these things look tiny

you know it will be shit especially if you liked the books, hell the cast is not the problem it is the script and directors fault

AYO

YOU SAYIN

WE WUZ ELD AND SHIET?

WE WUZ DESCENDED

FRUM

KANG ARTHUR?

It's not that important. She could just as easily call him an Uncle Tom house nigger.

Detta didn't hate Roland because he was white. Maybe that was a small part (she recoiled at his whiteness when he invaded her mind). But mostly it was because he scared her. She thought of him primarily as the Really Bad Man (if I am remembering correctly)

Detta's race is important because her backstory is built on Odetta's involvement in the civil rights movement and Detta cockteasing white dudes in bars.

So go back and give them a reread. Actually think about it

The Dark Tower is just a nexus of universes, right? Can't this just be the one with black Roland? I mean, even King was a character in his own story.

He was descended through Arthur's gilly

detta fucking hates whitey, roland is whitey, you take that away the story falls apart, if you can't see that your as senile as sk

What am I seeing here?

>more retarded shit

No, it was because Roland was powerful and white. He is the archetypal Patriarch because of those two specific qualities. Take the white out of it and the whole interaction loses cohesion.

So go and stop being such a pandering cuck. Actually think about it.

Good argument, poltard. You sure showed me

Too sci fi, not enough magic. The doors between worlds from the leaked trailer look like some tech portal bullshit and not just a magic door.

Detta's whole deal was being the baddest bitch alive.

Roland is a contradiction to that. Plain and simple. I mean this is a woman who out fucks a demon later on, but Roland scares her

I'm not saying the story wouldn't change some. It's just not this essential element

eh? no I don't ever go their its a shithole, good argument retard le/pol/ boogie man, do better, rolands race is central to his relationship with susannah and all her variations

Are you serious? It doesn't matter at all after the beach. She only ever brings it up after that to be a smartass. It has no bearing on anything

Actually it's brought up once when Susannah sees Mordred in the Dogan. But worlds do not revolve around this moment

>baddest bitch alive
yes but it was all about whitey from the taxi n the pusher she fucking hates whitey, Roland is the paragon of all she despises

Sewer rat coming up the pipe. This one was too big to get through the internal toilet pipes.

So you're saying if he was black, she'd be his best friend?

your kidding right? song of Susannah all of her modern day shit, the final journey detta never really gets over her racial shit and its important

nah but everyone would've had a much more relaxing walk down the beach

WILL THERE BE DOCTOR DOOM WOLF ROBOTS WITH LIGHTSABERS AND QUIDDITCH BALL GRENADES?!

WILL JAKE SACRIFICE HIMSELF IN OUR DIMENSION TO SAVE STEVEN KING FROM HIS ACCIDENT?!

WILL SUSANNA RIDE A THREE WHEELER INTO AN ALTERNATE REALITY WITH ALTERNATE REALITY JAKE AND EDDIE TO KEEP HER COMPANY?

WILL THE CRIMSON KING LITERALLY GET DRAWN OUT OF EXISTENCE?

Seriously though, a generic Dark Tower movie with Elba thats some sorta action shooter that nobody will remember in a month is still miles ahead of the drivel that King spat out from book 5 onwards.

Why is a darkie the MC?

We're not talking about Detta being racist in general. It's her being racist specifically against Roland. How many times does that come up?

She's racist against Mia in SoS. Not Roland.

Doubtful. Either A) she'd pretend to be friendly and try to shoot them in their sleep or B) she'd see Eddie there, and Roland's protectiveness over Eddie, and call him a race traitor

You barely have to try to make it work

everything you've listed was great, the castle of the red king, the vampire, the doombots the horrors from the deep, all great, sk's sheer madness after the accident was glorious to witness

>tfw Roland won't burn his fingers reloading while killing every living soul in Tull...

she's still fearful of roland as the great white boogie man thats why she doesn't get help from him

FUCKING DROPPED
the massacre of tull done right is all I really want in life