>took Sup Forumss advice and went to trial / train with the local village town football club >mostly "laddish" guys but a few normal people who seemed cool >coach was a funny older guy who had played semi-pro in the 80s >went alright but I was very rusty and winded by the end >a couple of people invited me for a drink afterwards in a local pub >agreed >haven't been drunk or touched a drop since around 2013 leaving uni >people kept handing me drinks with each round >got absolutely hammered without realizing >spent over £150 on drinks and snacks and a taxi >cried in front of everybody and told them I was a virgin and how I had joined the team to make friends and straighten my life out >vomited on the bathroom floor around the toilet and the barman came in and had a go at me >a few people mocked me and didn't want anything to do with me >a few people consoled me and said I shouldn't worry what people think
There's no way I can go back now. Even leaving my house makes me paranoid as hell and I haven't even been to the shops since. I am fucked beyond repair.
>spent over £150 on drinks and snacks and a taxi How is that even possible!? Is this pasta!?
Nolan Green
Just say it was banter la
Josiah Thomas
>barman came in and had a go with me Wait, you got fucked by a guy?
Oliver Price
>>cried in front of everybody and told them I was a virgin and how I had joined the team to make friends and straighten my life out
Everything was going well until this. Never go back.
Dominic Myers
How do people even get drunk enough that they lose their ability to censor what they say? I usually throw up before I reach that stage.
Brayden Watson
Hey laddy, atleast you have a funny story for the next group you meet
Isaiah Lopez
and never play football again. get really fat, grow a beard, hope nobody who was there will ever recognise you
Brandon Taylor
It is sometimes a good thing, I told my first ever gf (at 19) that I was in love with her while drunk, something I never had the balls to do in 2 years while sober.
I hated myself for days afterwards, but some weeks later she texted me and long story short, we dated for solid 3 years.
Mason Gutierrez
OP here. I should also say that I created a facebook profile specifically to reach out to the team to ask if I could join. Now on the team profile there are a lot of photos from the night and I look retarded in all of them and there's vomit on my shirt and stuff like that in some. Is it autistic or vain if I message the moderator to ask for the photos to be removed?
Gabriel Jenkins
Post team profile.
Aaron Walker
Hi Do you have a paypal or something like that where I can send you basically all my money and material posessions in exchange of a link to that FB page? Thanks
Nolan Roberts
My fucking sides. Don't even care if it's fake
Jason Brooks
Go back with no apology. You are one of the boys now, these things will happen.
Henry Edwards
delete profile, cut contact
Jace Baker
top lel just don't go on faecbukakki again la
Josiah Rodriguez
Go back and apologize, tell them that you were never good with alcohol
Angel Howard
Turn up, act if nothing happened. See if you can pass the virgin thing off as bants. If you can’t filter yourself don’t get that stupidly drunk again
David Thompson
Just go back. There will be a bit of banter but thats normal. You just got drunk with the lads. I had a teammate who used to threaten suicide becouse of girl when he got drunk. The next day at practice nothing changed. People don't give a shit what you do when your drunk.
Carson Ross
Just go back and pretend like it was nothing too serious. If you can feign confidence for a while, it starts to become natural.
Lincoln Reyes
>one of the boys kind of, it'll be a good story down the line of that happens theyre probably gonna try to get OP sexed by some fat lass at some point
John Robinson
this
Benjamin Campbell
Everybody makes a tool of themselves drunk and everyone feels paranoid the next day. Just go back and man up about it.
Christian Kelly
He'll be low man on the totem,but he'll be on it at least. Cheer up, Buckaroo. You are on the path to Normieville.
Robert Gomez
this, but how old are you OP
Jaxon King
Couldn't agree more. You might get some harsh banter from the lads for the next couple of weeks but before you know it someone else will do something stupid and they will be the brunt of the jokes.
Dominic Carter
Nah, he should tell them "Hah, gotcha! I'm a famous Youtuber and that was all a social experiment" And if they ask for link, tell them Youtube closed your channel on account of all the heavy drinking in the video or whatever
Brody Lee
>cried in front of everybody and told them I was a virgin and how I had joined the team to make friends and straighten my life out
you had one job user
Landon Bell
>took Sup Forumss advice
Joseph Kelly
>took Sup Forumss advice
Aiden Ramirez
Nah, the ship has sailed on the virgin thing I'm afraid. You don't just randomly joke about being virgin when drunk, that is something OP will have to own up, that truth is out.
But depending on how old OP is, it may not be a bad thing actually, since maybe some of the good lads on that team will make it their mission now to hook him up with some girl. Just like in that movie with Steve Carell where he plays a 40 year old virgin (I assume OP is much younger than that)
Daniel Murphy
he should say that he was exaggerating, but that he hasn't had sex in 6 months
Ethan Cox
You can tell this guy is very experienced in social matters
Michael Robinson
Go back this was a success actually
Kevin Torres
fraternising with normies can only lead to sadness and humiliation.
Asher Hall
>when your proxy spazzes out
Luis Rivera
>took Sup Forumss advice
Nolan Cook
>when your proxy spazzes out
Leo Clark
Embarrassing yourself is the first step to getting some true lads. You're now the crazy guy that people will want to drink with if they're in the mood for some entertainment. Tone it back next time and watch yourself a bit more, but don't become a recluse. You're fun to be around which is automatically worth something.
Brandon Turner
Let me put it this way: If someone gave me this explanation after earlier telling me he's virgin (no matter in what state), I wouldn't believe him.
I might act as if I do to not hurt him, but I actually wouldn't.
Matthew Young
Is this the embarrassing shit you did in front of normies thread? >last year of sixth form >go on class physics trip to Switzerland >spend the evening in a pub >never drunk alcohol before because I was a friendless autist and no-one invited me to house parties for underage drinking >end up drinking too much >throw up all over the hostel floor and bathroom >physics teacher is there helping me clean up the vomit >get bantered for the rest of the trip >teachers start keeping an eye on me to make sure I don't do any more stupid shit >lose contact with all of them when I get home and go off to uni
Aiden Hernandez
>the barman came in and had a go at me Elaborate
Aaron Watson
it doesn't matter what people believe internally, only what's the outspoken norm
Ethan Hill
Thats nothing. I got drunk on shool trip in high school and ended up fuckig a girl from my class. I was so drunk that I vomited the rest of the night away. The next day all the teachers knew what happened, one of them even asked me if she takes it up the ass.
Jacob Williams
>ended up fuckig a girl from my class Poor you
John Lee
It means shouted at
Easton Miller
user did nothing wrong.
Jeremiah Cook
idk just make them feel sorry for u and work really hard in training so its endearing
theres no hope tho if were being honest
Jackson Bennett
Sounds like you've been in a similar situation and you're trying to convince yourself people don't see through the bullshit. No one would even remotely buy what you're trying to tell this guy to do.
Mason Adams
Oh man, if it was at least a few weeks in after you actually started getting to know each other... but first fucking night?! Damn. You made a fool of yourself, but if you just bite the bullet and continue I'm sure the mocking will be gone some time. Just learn to take a joke, it's a sports team after all. Since when did Sup Forums become r9k though.
Aaron Reed
If it makes you feel better, I haven't had sex in about 6 or 7 months.
Cameron Lopez
>he doesn't know about the >tfw no gf threads on Sup Forums back when /r9k/ posters didn't even have pubes
>he doesn't know tfw no gf is what ruined this board culture and brought about heavy moderation
Proxy off, Reddit-american
Jeremiah Cook
>I had joined the team to make friends and straighten my life out If you've already told them this you might as well go with it. Say you had a strange up-bringing and you've taken it upon yourself to get out there and live your life differently to whatever weirdness you can imply was being forced upon you. In your case this is probably pretty much true apart from it being self-imposed as opposed to mandated by religious parents for example. A couple people there at least seemed sympathetic and would help you out if you returned. Going was a big step for you so you might as well see if you've opened a door instead of assuming it slammed shut.
Juan Garcia
That power rankings one, fucking kek. I miss having those threads daily.
Owen Myers
just show up again lmao
Brayden Allen
Are you guys actually virgins or just memes? How are you a virgin in your 20s?
Connor Diaz
Can't be arsed to leave my comfy zone and hook up.
Brandon Scott
Dont worry to much about it lad. Lots of ppl do stupid shit when drunk, its part of what makes drinking fun. Go play some footy and dont try and pretend that shit didn't happen, because its a bit to late now. You'll almost certainly get a bit of a piss taking at some point but its normal and all lads get it. Chances are you'll get on really well with a few of your teammates and will make some great friends. They could even help get you laid, but its not as much of big deal as you think it is right now.
Carson Gutierrez
at the end of the day, this board is on the same site as /r9k/. you tell me man
Elijah Powell
>you have to be 18 to post here
Ethan Gray
kek this
keep us updated lad
Xavier Peterson
I was a loser throughout school, never got invited to parties, never had a girlfriend and never had sex. Then the low confidence carried into university, where I found it difficult to make new friends and I basically shut myself in aside from when I needed to attend lectures (and even then I stopped bothering to attend after a while). Even my in group projects where I was forced to work with others, I met up with my group members to work but I kept to myself because I was never sure when I was overstaying my welcome. Since I never had friends to go out with at uni, I never really found myself in a situation where I was close to having sex.
I've come to accept that I'll die alone desu.
Brandon Lopez
i'm only 19 la i still have time ha ha
Matthew Rivera
virginity finds a way
Brandon Ortiz
Im trying to see if I do actually become a wizard if I'm still a virgin at 30
Asher Cooper
it's incredibly easy to not have sex if you're an ugly autist
Parker Ward
everytime i drink i do stupid shit it is pretty funny actually.
i think i would've off myself if not for alcohol
Carter Turner
haha i know rite, just imagine
Ian Perez
having a go at your what?
David Williams
I will never understand how Brit autism is usually forgotten or ignored. Nobody mentions how you are consistently the most autistic fuckers on this site despite shit like this getting posted all the time.
Mason Morales
People care more about aussie shitposting or a third-worlder with a gimmick (like the slip gypsy) because it's more accessible. Brit autism is the thinking man's choice.
Luke Hall
>Last year for a friend's birthday >In a group of about 7-8 >We are all old friends >I usually don't drink a lot, never got really hammered >Begin drinking at friend's house >Then we go out >It's a cold winter night >Go to several bars >Friend whose it's his birthday is being a bitch and don't want to drink to much >Drink for him >What_the_fuck_am_I_doing.png >Meet old friend from fucking middle school >Offer each others drink >Jesus_fucking_christ.jpg >Go to a nightclub, first time of my life, I was already pretty fucking drunk but I can still remember >Drink more, way more >I am completely fucked up at this point and can barely walk >The last thing I remember is going on the dancefloor >Then it's the complete blackout and my friends told me what happened but I don't remember shit myself >After a pityfull performance on the dancefloor I was on the verge of vomiting >Bouncer notice that I am completely fucked up >Since it was in winter in a cold night they surely didn't throw me out in fear that I die from the cold and they get judicial problems >They put me in a little room on a chair and a bucket >Throw up in the bucket >Ruin the fun for my friends because they have to watch for me >Some dude from Paris ask me if I am alright >Yell at him saying fuck PSG and parisians are fucking faggots >He leaves immediately >We go out of the nightclub and 2 of my friends have to drag me home which is pretty fucking far considering they literally have to hold on all the way >There are cops in a car >Friends tell me to shut up because there are cops in a car >Yell at the cops in a car >Nothing happened fortunately >Spit and vomit on the floor during all the way back >Piss myself toward this end >Pretty sure I confessed some shit during the way back but they were too embarrased to talk about that the next day >Jesus Christ I might even have told them about my waifu
Isaac Jackson
>most autistic fuckers on this site *blocks your path*
Cooper Powell
>Yell at him saying fuck PSG and parisians are fucking faggots good lad
Carter James
>euroautist KEK Feels good to be a americhad
Thomas Collins
May as well post the rest of the folder since I have nothing better to do
Nathaniel Price
>>Friend whose it's his birthday is being a bitch and don't want to drink to much
how have you not grown out of this stage yet
or maybe you have now cconsidering the rest of your story
Camden Myers
it's pretty normal to be a virgin up into your teens. Holding onto it for one or two more years into your 20's isn't exactly abnormal.
Levi Bailey
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Isaiah Nguyen
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Joshua Martin
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Bentley Sanders
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Isaiah Green
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Benjamin Gomez
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Ayden Carter
Lol moron you broke the number one rule and showed your internal patheticness
Tyler Rogers
...
Blake Turner
...
Jason Gomez
...
Julian Allen
...
Bentley Moore
Because none of my girlfriends would fuck me and i got tired of jumping through hoops for nothing but emotional exhaustion
Isaiah Garcia
>anglels KEK
Isaiah Barnes
>took Sup Forumss advice Everything that succeeds this decision is entirely your own fault