Ask a Catholic anything

Ask a Catholic anything

Attached: Mary.jpg (752x1063, 322K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/OrE7v6YP-EI
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

I wanna fap but it's nnn what do

just don't fap

what do you like most about your religion?

the aesthetics. catholic churches are beautiful and amazing and they don't have televisions in them, thank god

Are you catholic?

So what is your take on the enabling culture of pedophilia amongst the clergy

>Ask a Catholic anything
Why are you using an Orthodox icon?
That's not Catholic.
That's Greek.
You don't seem to know much about your religion.

youtu.be/OrE7v6YP-EI

Attached: Screen Shot 2019-10-20 at 2.03.35 AM.png (956x705, 695K)

The use of anime is sacrilege. he better hope god isnt real because he surely will go to hell for that

What is the reason for believing in the Immaculate conception (no not the virgin birth, the thought that Mary was born without original sin)? It's not anywhere in the Bible, not even with generous interpretation, so where did you get that from?

Iconism, it keeps the masses from questioning the legitimacy of the immaculate birth when she obviously got knocked up.

fail

Immaculate conception and virgin birth are not Christian memes. They were old long before the New Testament was written. Many pagan religions had used them to legitimize their gods' descent to earth. The temptation to use that to get the fledgling Christianity out the door must have been irresistable.
The Old Testament is mostly Jewish myths and fables but the New contains a lot of recycled stuff; some from as far away as India.

>she obviously got knocked up.
If she ever existed. There are no records.

are you comfortable with sharing how big your penis is?

Did you go to mass last Friday?

6.5 inches

that culture was enabled by (((you know who)))

nice try, Shlomo

>child-rape cultist

Attached: 4DC0A354-FFAC-496D-9BFC-FAF56217AA8B.jpg (720x479, 60K)

The entirety of 'God' is to violate the law of identity. God makes the impossible possible. Basically, God is what you say whenever you want to deny reality and do what you feel like, regardless of what the facts have to say about it. God is the ultimate cop out. Faith is the apotheosis of dishonesty.

lmao papist bootlicker.

Well, I'm thinking the women of the time didn't have much of a say in how records were kept.
But the Roman's loved to keep records.
That's why they took that little trip to Bethlehem.
I believe Ceaser took a census.
And, well, he was born somehow. He's not a starfish.
Can't cut a finger off and grow Jesus...
But if your the architect of the universe, you could put babies in anyone you wanted.
As long as they were immaculately conceived.

you mis-spelled "centimeters"

Diocese?

>Ceaser and Desister
wtf you made me spit all over the fuckin display

It's smaller than an Archdiocese.

Attached: bergoglio.jpg (337x481, 105K)

>gets to go to heaven

>likes paintings

What's your diocese, nigga. That's what I am asking.

>that pic
Yeah, I am not a great fan of the Pope neither

I love the salad and forgot how to spell things when smart phones started finishing my words.
I don't even hit the right letters. I just hit the ones near the letter I want and it corrects it for me.
Like, smset, became smart.
Glad you got a giggle from it though.

Cause 3 dollars and 78 cents is really going to allow you to afford that high end attorney.

I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Voldemort?
I'm Catholic, but dunno who you're talking about.

first of all, it isn't "half your sunday" and they don't talk about how you're going to hell, i've been to mass plenty of times and they never talk about that

Everyone legit hates Roman Catholicism because it says these things are immoral:

- fapping (basically everyone on this fuckin board)
- watching porn (ditto)
- condoms and any other means to avoid pregnancy
- having sex outside marriage (no problem, almost everyone on this board is virgin)
- non-plain-vanilla sex (yes, bj's immoral, anal sex is immoral, handjobs are immoral, etc)
- having sex for any other purpose than procreation (well, if you want to procreate yet you enjoy it, it's not immoral)
- fantasizing about sex

J.E.W.S. r.u.n. T.H.I.N.G.S.

a good Mass will set you out at most 40-45 minutes. If your parish is within walking distance, you're off in less than one hour.

Cause most priests don't preach that.
Ours likes to sometime.
Not a lot though.
He tells us it's a very unpopular topic with laypeople.
And we only attend mass for about an hour.
Like 15-25 minutes sometime depending on if he's got a homily.
Sometime it's just, "if you think it's hot in here, just think about what it's like in hell.
I Believe in....", communion, and were gone.
I used to not like attending mass when I was younger. But now that I'm older, I feel it has more value then what I originally ascribed to it.
But no one forces you. People have been away from the church for decades, come back, and the congregation happily welcomes them back.
It's sort of like that prodigal son parable.

you sound like a wretch.

You’re an idiot. And Rector Minvader is forever grateful.

you sound like a virgin and porn+fapping addict

And who here is a saint?
None of us.
That's why we have confession.
But don't get it twisted and think confession is something we go to so we can do immoral things.
It's a sacrament.
If you make a bad confession, it's fire and brimstone for you, if you die in a state of mortal sin.

You think I'm talking about a priest you know about?
I'm the idiot?
Right...

Check out this retard. Your religion is a scam designed to separate idiots from their cash. The confessional is an information-gathering device so that Rector Minvader may better exploit and control his gaggle of tards.

Attached: 7E62252D-60BB-4649-AA28-1AE6902B441A.jpg (225x225, 18K)

>Everyone legit hates Roman Catholicism because it says these things are immoral:

>-fapping (basically everyone on this fuckin board)
It's considered a sin, yet in practice a small amount of fapping is considered natural. It's the making of it a daily habit what is really condemned, since it's bad for your routine, unless you are a fucking NEET. That, and the sensuality part

>- watching porn (ditto)
Oh, no! The best industry to work in! I feel bad

>- condoms and any other means to avoid pregnancy
No. Only artificial ones. Natural contraceptives welcome. Also, people who use condoms bc they are too poor to have more/any kids are in a half-and-half position, since they are being forced to do so. But that's my opinion.

>- having sex outside marriage (no problem, almost everyone on this board is virgin)
What's the problem with that?

>- non-plain-vanilla sex (yes, bj's immoral, anal sex is immoral, handjobs are immoral, etc)
Roleplay is ok. All sorts of postures are ok. BJs and Handjobs aren't ok? I am not sure.

>having sex for any other purpose than procreation (well, if you want to procreate yet you enjoy it, it's not immoral)
read the contraceptives part

>fantasizing about sex
Not really. It's natural and (sometimes) involuntary to have those thoughts.

Confession is not an alibi to commit more sins.

I didn't watch the video.
But that's a pretty stupid question if it has anything to do with the video.
Why don't we see x rays?
String theory proposes something like 16 dimensions.
Why don't we see those?

Thanks, echo.

>You think I'm talking about a priest you know about?
>Rector Minvader
*rectum invader*

Yes, you’re the idiot.

Attached: EDB1336F-4844-482C-87D2-607261B29D5D.jpg (543x620, 88K)

I've done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff

>a small amount of fapping is considered natural.
Not even Bergoglio would say that.

There is no small amount of sin making a sin not sinful anymore.

Wet dreams aren't sinful. Note: 'wet dreams', not a 'small amount [citation needed] of fapping'.

>Your religion is a scam designed to separate idiots from their cash
I have never been asked for money at church in exchange of any "salvation". You could go to church for a whole year, and you could do so without having to give a penny.

> The confessional is an information-gathering device so that Rector Minvader may better exploit and control his gaggle of tards.
Confession is based on Scriptures, and you can confess to the priest you prefer. Also, many confessionals are designed so that priest and penant don't see each other.

so you are gonna send a kid to hell bc he started to touch his penis the first time it became hard and he didn0t know wtf was going on?

Masturbation is natural. Catholicism considers it a since bc of our take on Anthropology. The man is made to work, praise God, have a family, do stuff in general... Not to fall in addictions like fapping. People who start fapping more than the natural end up falling into an addiction.

Do you think snakes can talk?

>porn
>Oh, no! The best industry to work in! I feel bad

You sound like an 8 year old kid teling his 8 year old friends about his dream job at a toy store.

>Natural contraceptives welcome.

''Natural'' contraceptives aren't actually ''contraceptives''. You just minimize a probability without zeroing it (and without hoping to not to procreate).

>almost everyone on this board is virgin)
>What's the problem with that?

In our country there's a saying: "the more they talk about sex, the less real sex they have".

>BJs and Handjobs aren't ok? I am not sure.

sounds like you waste more time on porn than on decent books.

BJ's, hj's, anal, etc, are only meant for pleasure, not procreation.
Foreplay and cuddling, as long as not degenerating into degenerate actions like BJ's, are somewhat OK.

>and (sometimes) involuntary

Involuntary having thoughts is not sinful. But it's sinful giving them a chance to become ''voluntary'' thoughts. And that's not OK.

You sound like you lost your tinfoil hat.
Want me to make you another one?
Have you ever seen a collection basket in a small, rural catholic church?
Ours would post the amount they recieved from the previous week.
I've never seen it over $135 dollars for the week.
$135 times 52.
Oh no! They better figure out how to launder that $7,020 annual income.
Oh wait. They use it for the electric bill.
To heat or cool the parishioners.
Or the rectory where the priest lives.
You probably thought they lived inside the church, huh?
Stupid heathen.
Or the parish hall where folks gather and have coffee and donuts the church provides.
Or materials for catechism class.
Or communion wafers.
Or wine.
Fuck.
You think that dudes sitting in the back waving his hands over jugs of water turning them into wine?
Or breaking communion wafers apart and multiplying them by the hundreds?
And read about father Maximilian Kolbe.
Tell me that's a scam.
Tell me that's a scam and I'll tell you who the retard is.

the one true faith is the Western Branch of American Reform Presby-Lutheranism

who is lucifer?

What diocese are you in?

>t. Hartford

>I've done everything the Bible says

Sorry to redpill you, bro, but the Bible isn't enough. In order to understand the Bible, you need a central authority supported by God. The only legit authority is the Roman Catholic Church.

Also, if Our Lord wished to set up a club of Bible Experts, He wouldn't have wasted his time explaining things to everyone. He would at most told the Intellectuals: "hey, dudes! grab a Bible and read it 100 times".

How old were you when you first experienced the Glory of the "Immaculate Conception" ?

Thank you for posting better arguments than I did.
100% correct.
I know people who drive into another state to go to confession.
Would definitely be hard to control parishioners that weren't yours from another state.

I mean, the guy kinda has a point in cases of rural communities with only 1 priest for a whole, isolated village. But that hasn'0t been the case throughout history, specially in the apostolic times, when the sacrament appeared. Christians didn't use to live in the countryside.

>o you are gonna send a kid to hell bc he started to touch his penis

Sounds like your watchlist includes too many porn threads.

Mortal sins are sins of grave (serious) matter, where the sinner performs the act with full knowledge and deliberate consent. (cf. CCC 1857).

A fapping (serious matter) kid, fapping with full knowledge it's wrong, deliberately consenting to fap, well, he's on the right way to go to hell.

Thankfully he may regret it, confess (a genuine confession includes the will to not to commit any more sins), and get forgiveness.

But they can only trace their start back to Martin Luther.
We can trace the papal lineage back to Peter.

But what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder

>people who drive into another state to go to confession.

That's definitely legit, because most people carefully choose a good, reputable, knowledgeable priest. (Also, before Amazon shipping, people drove to another state to buy Real Good Shit™).

>Not really. It's natural and (sometimes) involuntary to have those thoughts.

Not true. Ex-Catholic here.

"But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matt. 5: 28

If you thought it, you did it.

>Sounds like your watchlist includes too many porn threads.
being a coomer isn't moral

>Mortal sins are sins of grave (serious) matter, where the sinner performs the act with full knowledge and deliberate consent. (cf. CCC 1857).
This.

>If you thought it, you did it.
So if you dream you killed somebody you gotta rush it to the confessional? You thought it!

Honestly, I don't know which religion is correct, but I know something set this all in motion and it's way larger than any of us and it permeates EVERYTHING.
At least, that's what the mushrooms revealed to me.

Every single person is offered an opportunity, even if they chose something wrong.
Clearly it's immensely easier if you chose the Roman Catholic Church.

yeahhh you're gonna want to stay away from those kind of drugs

answer pls

bait. You just fell for some bait. And it was probably set up by somebody who could attend the same temple you do every day of obligation.

Attached: lowqualityBAIT.jpg (627x477, 118K)

One final question

Could jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?

Fun fact: almost every fuckin religion is somewhat 'geographically' definable.
Redskins religion decided its paradise was all about easily catching a buffalo. Jehowa's witnesses paradise is all about some bourgeois 1950's family (house, car, fridge, necktie'd dad, wife in the kitchen). Islam's paradise is ''muh 72 virgins!! not even hentai's have them!!' herp derp!!'

he could just make himself have a really sensitive mouth, so yes.

Homer Simpson's paradox is way better than Pascal's wager.

google for pareidolia, you supreme faggot

>So if you dream you killed somebody you gotta rush it to the confessional? You thought it!

By the rules and standards of the Catholic church? Yes. Your goal as a Catholic is to strive for perfection in accordance with your faith. Until you become the perfect sheep in your herd, you are unclean. And therefore must repent

Which is why I thought the whole affair was silly and stopped participating.

Awww the poor widdle catholick chirch! They so poor! You complete fucking mongoloid. Are you really this stupid?

Lucifer is the reason you think of bad things

Thou shall not kill.
Doesn't only mean physically killing someone.
Could also mean crushing their spirit.
Could simply be words that you said.
Those words could be a moral sin under the right conditions.
Theft could be venial if $1,000 was taken from a millionaire.
Theft could turn into a mortal sin of a dollar was taken from a beggar.

They told me that too..

>Each week we just make God madder and madder
being mad is a human (sinner) attribute
most Bible terms 'reflect' what we think it would happen if God had a human mindset

bruh, Catholics put their money where their mouth is

>Theft could be venial if $1,000 was taken from a millionaire.
a Jew millionaire will sue you to hell if you stole him a single dime

We call it church and mass.
And no.
They kept records.
People been writing important shit down for millennia.

>bruh, Catholics put their cocks where their kid’s mouth is

FTFY

Attached: A359CD8F-71A5-47A5-9292-3555D9BC7BA7.jpg (660x371, 25K)

Strange that there are no records of your baby jesus. It’s like he didn’t really exist. Same as your god.

No, no, no. Read the Cathecism. Shit you do involuntarily isn't you sin.

>Until you become the perfect sheep in your herd, you are unclean. And therefore must repent
Yeah, we strive for santification, but we don't think anybody can be perfect, since we are humans (imperfect), only God is. You do sound like a former Catholic, but you weren't really into it

I don't follow.

I don't think I am the guy you ought to respond to

Did I touch a nerve?
It's been awhile since someone came at me all 3rd grade style.
Probably since the 3rd grade.
I never said they were poor.
But you're definitely implying they steal from regular people and hoard the money.
Not the case as I demonstrated.
Are there corrupt people in the church?
Sure.
That's the nature of people.
The church and it's precepts are perfect.
Get over it.

Sounds like you read too many Jewish pamphlets.
The 'priest' cathegory sports the lowest percentage of pedos. If you consider pedolawyers, pedoplumbers, pedotruckdrivers, pedoteachers, etc, you will be surprised by the numbers. And you'll be surprised twice because there's noone hurrdurring against plumbers when a pedo plumber gets arrested.

you're right: Romans had internet, printers, offices, and still a travel to Bethlehem was needed. Your tinfoil hat is working wonders.

some humour

Attached: rocksgotoheaven.jpg (395x2538, 366K)

How would you feel,theoretically, if it was revealed that the Bible turned out to only have become a religion only because it was the most popular, most widespread, and most distributed paperback in all of history?
This and all the flaws pointed out when critizcizing it like any other piece of literature - for instance, alll those story inconsistencies, filler arcs, contradictions (no wincest! except Lot and daughters, oh wait... etc)
and when compared to other literary works, it turns out that eve SWORD ART ONLINE has better writing, plot and consistency than the entire Bible combined?

Attached: 1545675278747.png (1154x3699, 685K)

this reminded me of this pic

Attached: 1545812798233s.jpg (125x70, 2K)

r u aware skynet is real and u are religion is not?

we don't follow sola scriptura. The Bible is very important, but must be interpretated. We don't wanna miss both eyes too soon ;)

Why does God hate me?

why do u say that?

>and most distributed paperback in all of history

Your Soy-Powered Tinfoil Hat Pro™ is showing.

First of all, printing was literally invented in 1453 in Germany. Some decades later, when a number of printed Bible copies were out, protestantism automagically happened.

Also, Bible is a collection of different books from different authors from different eras. The book of Isaiah sports at least three different authors.
"Inspired" does not mean "some editorial product happening just like in the XXI century, just like Turd Fart Online".

Attached: defrock_apuron.jpg (815x536, 77K)