ITT: Stupid things you actually believed as a kid

ITT: Stupid things you actually believed as a kid.

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As a joke my dad told me that if I breathed in snot through my nose and into my mouth to spit instead of blowing out into a tissue, some of it would go into my brain and make me dumb. I believed this until I was like 12.

When I was like 4 or 5 I use to believe that ghosts lived inside pumpkins because of all the Halloween jack-o'-lanterns decorations depicting them floating out of the top of the pumkins. I got very excited the first time I carved a pumpkin because I thought I was going to see a ghost. I did not, and instead just felt like a retard.

Babies come out of butts

There's only two genders.

I also believed this.

nazis are the evil guys

I believed in love.

Santa clause was real
Any holiday creature tooth fairy

You get someone pregnant by pissing in them, and you get arthritis if you crack your knuckles. Also if you turn on the light in a car at night you're going to be blinded and fucking crash

blacks are people who act like humans in everyway.

>mama how do babby formed
>Well son, daddy's sperm jumps out of his willy which then walks across the room and jumps into mommy's vagina and that's how babies are born
>mfw actually believed it
>mfw no face

That if I didnt touch and untouch things in numerals of 4 that I was going to have to stop breathing and die and go to Hell forever. Catholic school abuse was to blame.

god

"Don't worry, the hamster escaped!"
Few years later, find out hamsters only live around a year
Mine was about a year old.

Legit felt bad. Don't get pets with a short ass lifespan.

that my parents loved me

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your mother

/thread

I definitely thought it was illegal to have your interior lights on at night.

I know you were a kid but man
youtu.be/tb2Ct3yyB4g

A 2,000 year old zombie carpenter was important somehow

I used to believe adults actually knew what they were doing.

My mom told me she knew when I did something wrong. I interpreted this to mean she could read minds. Therefore, all women could read minds. I then spent my time staring at my crushes thinking "I like you" over and over. Trying to get them to notice me.

Rectal bleeding was normal after visiting your uncle

As a child, even when introduced to the idea of religion and church I still never believed it or took it seriously, And I believed a LOT of dumb shit.

That you had to snap spaghetti in half before boiling it

I thought something similar to this, but that the pregnancy resulted from the male piss mixing with the female piss inside her. This is why it was very important to have separate male and female restrooms.

I used to believe that sucking the cock of a feminine man in a dress was gay.

The worst part is that as a kid I thought that the idea was retarded. But I just internalized it and believed it for years. It wasn't until I was about 17 and I started driving that I found out that it was a total meme, I remember I was doing a lift for some friends going to/back from a club and they turned on the light and I fucking shit myself before I realized that it basically made absolute zero difference in terms of visibility

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do get pets with a short life span
because really, who deserves to have the important events in life overshadowed by a 14 year old companion dying.
if possible at all, the worst loss kids should have to bear till they marry should really be some stupid hamster.

never cross the streams bro

Thought this was real too. Kids are so naive and stupid...

I think he was right. You seem to be proving it ITT.

what the fuck

/thread

I thought Michael Jackson was Cruella de Vil

Surveyors were spies that looked into your home and watched you poop.

It's not? Why am I just learning this at 34?

You peed in a girl to get her pregnant.

3rd

I thought that if you put a plastic bag around your head you would automatically die

That icarly was a comedy show on nic

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that i must be gay because i liked the feeling of taking a shit

>swallowing gum would glue up my guts and I would die
Cried my ass of a lotta times because of that

my older brother told me if i played with my bellybutton too much, the knot would become undone and my guts would spill out

my father had me convinced that hippos were female rhinos until i reached sophomore year of high school

Homeopathy is a working medicine.

No, that one is true

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That my uncle was just wrestling with me naked and his signature move was the butt jam

Growing up in the 60s, I knew for a fact by the year 2000 we'd all be living like the Jetsons.

Based

beaner here. when i was around 10 and taking my catacism classes (those are a thing I guess?) I gave absolutely ZERO fucks on a test and just wrote "i love god" "I love Jesus" but in Spanish for every answer thinking I would get away with it like "awww look at him, so faithful. here's a passing grade." looooooool I got in trouble so often there :'D

after watching DBZ i believed i'm an alien, i was just too weird to be a normal human. Years later i learned that i have asperger

That people were equal and race didnt matter.

nah. loss makes you stronger if you don't internalize it the wrong way. it prepares you for the REAL bad shit later in life.

I don't think I agree with this, I think the heartfelt loss of a pet is a reasonable toe-tip into chaos for a child, to help develop and prepare them for inevitable turmoil later in life, when you unfortunately might have to bury your own parents sooner than you'd like, if nature has her way.

Earn a grain of wisdom.

true

i thought bamboo was just toilet paper trees

You guys are keyboard warriors. I'm going to jail tonight. The last crime I haven't commited yet is murder. Elias. Movie theater. Hand me the knife. Or you are a fucking fake broke pussy who can't hack for shit.

I don't mean true they're the evil guys. I mean I believed that also.

Kek'd and red pilled

c

That black people had bick dicks

based and rational user
what pets do you have? 5 dogs here

ok boomer

>umbilical hernia
we had a patient who brought this mess unto himself by "playing" around with his belly button
i dont have any measure on how fucking fat & stupid you have to be to accomplish that. but yeah, its definitely possible

Sup Forums get the fuck out and go post about your blacked cuck fantasies in your designated threads

The lgtb+ community deserves the same rights that the straight people have

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I used to believe this was a great country. Fuck the United States.

That water making noise while escaping down the sink's drain after washing one's hands were actually germs crying in pain.

But they do

Growing up, we had 3 German Shepherds in the family, one after another. Two didn't get to lead a full life because of complications like lung tumors and things.

Dogs are the best pets. I have a cat atm and there's really no reciprocal friendship, the cat demands everything on it's terms and fucks me with it's claws if I ever try and stroke it's stomach. I love the stupid thing, but nothing like a dog, totally different arrangement of living together.

16 years old? Thats pretty rough. I mean come on. 16?

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>But they do *not*

>REEEEEEEEEEEEE
typical leftard, trying to silence other opinions.

No they don't
Trannies are just mentally ill persons and deserves to stay in an asylum till they die

That my mother loved me

if your hamster dies at 9, life lesson.
if your dog dies at 18 and you delay or fuck up your academic degree, potential wasted.
there is no way to not notice that this world is chaotic and cruel, no need for parents to arrange for that lesson

I used to think that my teachers were robots that lived at school. I used to think that they were programmed to do and say everything exactly the same way every year, down to their little mess ups to hide the fact that they're not human. This thinking stopped in about third grade.

life is fun

Wow that’s harsh

But your belief about your mom was right and your attempts even further proved it true. I bet your mom could see the guilt right through you. And the girls as well, though they also thought you were a creep.

>Stupid things you actually believed as a kid
That my fellow man wasn't a savage.

Reality can be harsh sometimes

Girls were gross

I attempted to formulate a response to you, which I posted, and then when I read it back it was very poorly articulated.

So I'll just say, you're right, but you'll also be missing out on a fuller heart.

Iron Man would beg to differ.

When you turned off the water to a faucet the stream of water would go back up into the faucet. Used to try to see it happen.

Id be able to make $ playin minecraft.......

LOL FUCK SCHOOL !!!!!

Any more of her?

1. i thought girls had nothing down there, but a butthole. until my friend told me when i was 9 "they have a hole down there". instant disgust.
2. i thought that to make a baby, 2 people would have to pray to God together for a really hard and long time until the baby appeared.
3. until i was 10, my dad finally told me "you need to have sex to make a baby". then i thought sex was just kissing a girl for a long until she got pregnant (he didn't explain what sex is).
4. the next when i went to school, i thought i had to conceal the great recently acquired wisdom on how to procreate. i stopped looking girls in the eyes, even my own teacher, because i did not want to accidentally impregnate them. little did i know that my entire class already knew exactly what sex was, while i still didn't.

doctors today think i am actually retarded and want to put me in programs and shit, even though i'm 24.

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Shut up faggot

This.
Thought we had our best people as leaders and the news media was required by law to tell the truth too kek....

believing MJ was just playin

the meek would inherit the earth,

I believed Epstein killed himself.

>Dogs are the best pets
based. youre a good person user

yeah okay you big fuckin baby

My mom consistently told me I would get cancer if I did something she didn't approve of. I didn't even know what cancer was, just something horrible.

I grew up a coward who never even had climbed a tree as a kid.

My parents divorced when I was 9 and I was given the choice who I wanted to live with, and I chose my dad. And after that I learned to swim, ride a bicycle properly etc. etc.

I'm still somewhat a coward, my moms fear of any sort of pain rubbed off on me through my first 10 years of "life".