Tell us something about yourself/ something that happened to you that typically no one would believe

Tell us something about yourself/ something that happened to you that typically no one would believe.

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I tried to commit suicide two months ago, laying next to my wife in bed. Pulled the trigger 5 times. All five rounds in the revolver did not go off. Normal primer strikes, just didnt go off. I put the gun away and went to sleep.

The next day I took it outside and fired, all 5 went off with no problem.

Was chased out of a canyon road by satanists that were burning chickens. Its a road thats typically empty at night that bypasses a small mountain range. We just went up there to get drunk but noooooo.

i don't believe you.

>Tell us something about yourself/ something that happened to you that typically no one would believe
>Tell story
>user doesnt believe it

Mission accomplished

It happened.

that woman should be ashamed of herself

do it again and livestream it. If it's something supernatural then it won't go off this time either

My mom was the youngest in her family, so by the time I was a teenager my cousins were all getting married and having kids. All except one cousin. He couldn't get his wife pregnant.

It was actually my Aunts idea to use me to get her pregnant. I was 16 and looked so much like my cousin that people would believe the kid was his. I think they expected me to jerk off in a cup and for her to do whatever with it, but she was too disgusted to handle a cup full of jizz. So we did it naturally.

>graduation in 2001
>I sang for the entire stadium
>everyone clap
>continue with the ceremony
>afterwards I'm talking to friends and other students I spent the last 12 years with
>looking for my family so we can go celebrate
>out of thin air appears Leonard Nimoy
>he shakes my hand and congratulates me on my singing
>I thank him and nod
>he vanishes into the crowd
>I continue on and stop dead in my tracks
>brain finally processes what happened
>I look around and can't see him anywhere
>no one believes me

Saw a meteorite land right in front of me when I was playing in a wooded area at my school. It was about the size of a grape, and looked ad felt like garden pumice, but a bit denser. It was a cool morning, about 50°F and I could feel the rock was just slightly warmer than my cold hand.

Guns don’t work that way...unless you’re talking about a Taurus.

When I was 13 I received a handy j from a senile 80 year old when I was collecting money for delivering newspapers. Went back for more 2 weeks later and she freaked out when I pulled my dick out. I ran away and gave her free newspapers until I quit and got a real job.

>Replicate potential divine intervention for the sole purpose of hubris

Uh huh. Yeah. Because thats how it works.

I had never experienced it any other time. This was a Ruger Sp101 357.

I own 27 firearms, so I'm not exactly uneducated when it comes to how they work. I've seen light primer strikes, squibs, delayed fire, you name it. Never 5 in a row that then functioned fine a day later. Thats the point of the story.

You dont have to believe me. Why else post in this thread?

Had a nanny when I was about 7 to around 11 years old. She would use me as a toy. I would suck on her tits while she rubbed herself. She would tell me milk would come out. She would play with my small penor. Most fucked up thing I remember is having my small fist go inside her as she orgasmed intensely. Made me into a huge pervert. Made it difficult for me to associate sex and emotions. Which made me have some issues with my marriage.

I once lifted a 1984 Chevrolet Celebrity Wagon so that my friend could retrieve his shitty jack from underneath. Never jack up a car on broken concrete and never use the included jack unless it's an emergency, kids.

Have you tried fisting your wife?

Were the primers dimpled between attempts 1 and 2?

Did you let the bed sheets or such get caught under the hammer while laying in bed?

I believe you.

Maybe it was a dream?

>gave her free newspapers until I quit and got a real job.
Why? She clearly didn't remember.

>She would tell me milk would come out. She would play with my small penor. Most fucked up thing I remember is having my small fist go inside her as she orgasmed intensely.
Hot.

Nice larp

>I attempted to bathe my wife in people smoothie

Thats not how suicidal thoughts work

>larp
You're using that word wrong. The acronym LARP was coined to differentiate people that roleplay out in person in real life. What you are intending to accuse this person of is regular roleplay.

Yes

The primers had two strikes that appeared equal in shape and depth. I cant remember if they were all uniquely placed because I did take the rounds out of the cylinder before putting them back in and firing them the next day.

I thought so at first the following morning but the primer strikes made my heart skip a beat.

I had been going through a rough time and I thought my wife was cheating on me. I was laying in bed feeling this crushing pain, sharp stabs in my chest. She was sound asleep next to me. I leaned over, got the gun, put it against my head, clenched my jaw and pulled the trigger 5 times. My wife sleeps through anything so she didnt wake up. I opened my eyes after the 5th hammer fall and just had this weird buzzing sensation. I put the gun down and cried. Yeah, grown man crying, whatever.

Turns out she wasnt cheating on me. She asked a male coworker for relationship advice since she thought I didnt find her attractive anymore. I nabbed her phone while she was in the shower and scrolled through weeks of messages. Guy gave good advice. Ive known him for years. And I'm a paranoid bastard, so I'm certain there was nothing going on.

Looking back it is hot. Would love to find her again. At the time I was too naive to really understand what was going on.

i think it is possible, perhaps were you holding the revolver upside down (because you were in your bed laying on your back) which caused it to misfire?

btw, i hope you won't try it again

dated this girl who was horny for her own sister.
one day she slept over at her place and after shower, gave her a oily back rub, feeling up the side boobs and checking her out.

sounds like a total porn, but knowing her, i'm convinced it wasn't a fantasy.

How has your life changed since? Seems like you got lucky. Dont make the same stupid mistakes again.

Has it changed your perspective on life? Change your opinion on suicide ?

Had a threesome with an older married couple I met on Craigslist. It ended up with me doing the wife for about an hour before I came in her and left their hotel room. I miss craigslist.

How'd that go?

>i think it is possible, perhaps were you holding the revolver upside down (because you were in your bed laying on your back) which caused it to misfire?
>btw, i hope you won't try it again
Holding a revolver upside down does not fucking prevent it from firing and I'm baffled how you think it would.

>The primers had two strikes that appeared equal in shape and depth. I cant remember if they were all uniquely placed because I did take the rounds out of the cylinder before putting them back in and firing them the next day.
Why would they have two strikes? You mean after you fired them the next day?

It's not gone.

I'm an engineer, so I always try to relate things back to science. I cant come up with an explanation. I'm reaching here, but the only thing I can think of is that there was some sort of debris lodged or film friction from leaving the gun unused for some time in a drawer. Maybe pocket lint buildup or something that cushioned the hammer. It is an exposed hammer on that Sp101 unlike some of my smaller revolvers. You can dent a primer without igniting it if the impact is weak enough.

Thats all I can think of.

I'm trying hard. My wife is being supportive, problems are getting a little better. We'll see.

The personals section is you ball-chortling charlatan.

Maybe you should turn in your guns dude, obviously next time anything goes slightly wrong you’re probably gonna try to off yourself again. I know there are tons of ways to kill your self, but guns is easy mode, try to get some help.

I think this is an example of quantum suicide. You actually did kill yourself five times in five different universes. But you can no longer be aware in those universe. So you are aware in a universe where you did not die. This is a dangerous thought but I really do not think you can kill yourself. You may not even be able to die. I’m not sure what happens in old age. Maybe we live for ever as a conscience dust cloud for millennia.

Good, took a while to get in, she came when I wiggled my fingers. Physical and pleasure aspect of our sex life is good, the emotional part was the issue....to her

it has moving parts, perhaps something slightly moved which was enough?

i aint no expert btw, it is just a guess

Senior year of high school I had a super hot 30 something year old math teacher with an ass personally sculpted by God himself.

Weird turn of events one day with me accidentally elbowing her cooch, then her sending me outside and telling me to see her after school.
When I showed up she locked the door and told me to drop my pants.
We make out, she gives me a handjob, and I eat her out.

This continues for about two months, the best one was her sitting on my face, I'm going down to brown town, she's working my staff like a level 100 wizard. Just remembering it puts an ache in my heart.

But it all ended when we almost got caught by the principle one day, he knocked on the door I hid under her desk (still nude) she quickly threw her clothes back on and let him in. They talked about something for a good 20 minutes then he left. I got my clothes back on and bailed. The next time I showed up she said it was done, kissed me one last time and sent me on my way.
Tfw I still failed her class.

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It's a retarded shit guess, that's not how it works. And if someone designed a gun like that it would be a piece of shit.

Somewhat. The storm is subsiding somewhat. We had been through absolute hell for 4 years. Almost lost everything due to theft, natural diasters, and freak accidents. Felt like an honest to goodness curse.

Yes. I worded it poorly. When I successfully fired each round, all of the primers had indications of two distinct primer strikes.

The fact I removed and replaced the same rounds back in the cylinder eliminates the possibility of a double strike on the same point of the primer

The personals section has been gone for like a year? I’m aware the rest of the site is still there but that’s no ones using that to hook up

I got E. coli from jack in the box when I was 4 (early 90’s). Received $7.5k for four years starting at 18

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I was the weakest-willed, most introvert, clearly not good looking guy in my school years.

For 6 months near the end of high school, I was in a mostly sexual relationship with the Stacy of the school, which happened to be my best friend, and still is.

Guess it payed to be an orbiter after all.

I like this theory. I have a similar belief as to what happens when we die. We leave out physical bodies and go back to the conscious you said. Some get recycled into another physical body, some stay.

yeah perhaps you're right

Buddy, I had a threesome with my wife and her twin sister. I suggested a threesome and she said the only way she'll do it is if she gets to pick the third person.

Low and behold they used to do freaky stuff when they were younger. The twin agreed and we went off.

It was one of the best nights of my life.

I was 16 years old in school, year 11 (britfag). Last day of school before I leave for college.
Geography teacher, early 30's, slim, thin blond hair which she put in a bun. She dismisses the class and everyone runs out excited to leave school. I hear her shout out my name over the noise so I sort of hang back and she does a "come here" signal with her finger and a sort of concerned look on her face. I go over kind of embarrassed as all of my friends have run out having fun and I had to stay. She told me that she would miss me and that I was her favourite student. We chatted for about 5 mins and she was totally flirting with me. She said out of all my friends I was the best looking and that I was lucky and will break loads of hearts in the future. And the way she was speaking was so soft and sexy it made me super hard. She told me if I ever needed help with anything to come over to her house and handed me some paper with her address on it. Honest to God. I never told anyone and I think i left the bit of paper in my blazer and washed it.

>engineer
>owns 27 guns
>experiences mechanical anomaly
>removes 5 rounds after 5 failures to fire
>DOES NOT INSPECT THE PRIMERS OR LOOK FOR OBSTRUCTION UNDER THE HAMMER AT THIS TIME

That's where I stop believing you. Absolutely no chance you wouldn't look at them prior to firing the second time.

And btw pretty sure even after firing the second time both strikes would be almost exactly centered. With some older bolt guns you can get a lot of variation but even different positions in the cylinder of your 357 should be centered well enough not to leave 2 separate impressions.

So you tried to off yourself after you “thought” your wife cheated. But still going strong after almost losing everything and going through hell for four years? Seems like it did change you. Keep your chin up faggot.

What?
>Fucking kek

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Literalfag

I’m jealous, was it hard to tell then apart?

Right! She did this way too soon. Should've waited until the stadium was full.

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Im confused.
>threesome
>you, your wife and her twin sister
>she gets to pick the third person
she picked her sister?

My wife has a scar over her left boob from surgery. Also the sister had a purple star tattooed on her shoulder.

But in the heat of the moment there was times I couldn't at all.

Man I got e coli from chipotle and didn't even get off work

Yeah, they use to fool around when they were young. My wife said she's the only person she'd share me with.

Sucks to suck.

As a late teen I would go on long outdoor runs, mostly through nature trails and stuff like that. I would get horny and sometimes fap outside during this time, felt godly. Nobody was around so I could feel "exposed" without risk.

One day I'm running and pass by a woman in her 30s. Great shape, it's a hot summer day and she is covered in sweat. Give her the old 'sup nod and she smiles, we go in opposite directions. Think nothing of it and continue on, get to my usual fap spot and take off my shorts. I usually run shirtless and use running shorts, which have a net so no boxers. I'm completely nude aside from shoes.

I start fapping and hear some twigs snap thinking its an animal. I begin to put on my shorts in case I need to run away and the woman emerges out of the little side trail I had developed to get back into my spot. My pants aren't fully up so the first thing she sees is this young guy, sweaty, shirtless, with pants half up and a raging boner.

I realize I can't talk my way out of this so I just look at her and say, "Sorry, there's usually nobody here". I tuck my boner in laugh. She laughs, comes over rubs me through my pants a bit.

We both sit down, I pull my cock out, start stroking. She sits and watches, pulls out her tits, eventually pulls down her shorts and rubs herself in front of me. I've had sex with 1 chick at this point in life and am still a noob. I go over and dive into her vagina, eat it for a while, stand up and penetrate missionary. All raw ofc. We bang for like 5-10 minutes, she wraps her legs around me and I can't help but nut deep inside her. I apologize, she laughs and says "don't be sorry, that's where I wanted it".

We lay there in bliss for another 5-10 minutes. After I pull out she cleans me off w her mouth. Eventually we both leave separately. I never saw her ever again and don't think I've ever told anyone about it before. By far the most lustful sexual experience I've ever had

Try to make it a regular thing.

Definitely should have gotten her number.

I don't think I should, she got really upset when I originally suggested it. She said she wanted to think about it and got in the car and left.

She called me, gave her demands and then showed up an hour later with her twin.

One was great enough, I don't want to push my luck for a round two.

Ehh don't ask outright, just have the twin over for holidays and have a little too much eggnog. You know. Special occasions.

That's really fucking cool!
Apart from the heat, how are you sure it was a meteorite? Did it seem to fall fast and out of nowhere?

Today sucks, tomorrow might but the only way to know is actually being there, cheer up, dont do it

yesterday i fucked my ass with a banana and a deocan. not at the same time of course.

Everyone believes that.

I am glad that things are going better. I know it soinds pointless, but meditating for 10 minutes a day to clear your mind and thinking and repeating positive thoughts (to change your subconscious) will change your life.

Ps. Not sure if your wife was part of that troubled past but if not. It would have been a brutal thing to do to someone

My sister always thought it was a funny "prank" to bare ass fart in my face randomly.

Well jokes on her I have a fart fetish and she only fuels the flames. Also it helps that she has an amazing ass.

I once broke a midget's femur attempting to fuck her ass.

Surprise tongue it next time

Things that never happened.

I fucked this girl

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Will pull the trigger 5 times. Won't pull the 6th time to strike the dud again. Pussy

I'm an identical twin.

My mother admits there were times she couldn't tell us apart when we were babies.

I think I am supposed to be David, and he's supposed to be Joshua.

Half way down the thread and I'm stopping here to comment on this
I believe you user. As someone who has a failed suicide attempt (nothing considered disbelieve as this) and someone who has almost ruined my relationship by accusing my fiancée of cheating on my all though she is and always has been trust worth, I want to let you know I believe you. Glad to hear everything worked out for you and I hope that life is starting to get better for you, you deserve it.

I saw a guy steal from a lady at a bus.
He pulled stuff from her purse while he sat behind her.
I told the lady.
She yelled at me and said that me and the other guy were accomplices.
She accused me.
Guy got off the bus.
Bus driver pull over and grabbed my arm.
To prevent me from running.
People in the bus patted me to see if I had stole some other shit.
They let me go and basically kick me out of the bus.
Walk the rest to Bestbuy in disbelief.
That's what happens when you are Latino and wear a hoodie.

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I’ve been living with these for about 6 7 years now. Its been rough. February of this year I had had enough. I was going to refill my pills and had the intent of taking them with some jamo to drift off into the afterlife. Omw to get my meds a cat walked up to me, he was fucked up. Someone or some animal had beat it half dead. Couldn’t walk away. Brought him home, I thought that if he was to die, he shouldn’t die alone and in the cold. Did my best to clean him up, feed him, and make him comfortable. We both lived to see the next day.
Street cat saved my life.

>People in the bus patted me to see if I had stole some other shit.
Isn't that illegal?

You died in 5 other dimesions.

My sister and I always made dumb bets. "If I win you owe me $20" "if I win you do the dishes" "I win text mom "I'm gay""

The punishments got more extreme over time, one day (I'm 16 she's 17) we make a small bet over some show we were watching. She started saying "if I win.." fumbled for a second "you have to eat my ass" and I laughed thinking it was a joke, she just smiled at me. So I respond with "if I win you lick my shaft"

Now there's been plenty of joke punishments we've done, and just laugh it off after. But she won the bet, we both laughed for a second. Then she starts pulling down her pants, I question if she really meant it and she said "100% I meant it." Pulled down her pants, underwear, and proceeded to spread ass. So I said fuck it and went in.

Thus sparking our incest filled dumb bets with great punishments. We never actually did penis in vagina, but we did everything from her sucking dick, eating her out, sitting on my face, sucking her nipples, etc. The farthest was the tip in her ass with a condom.

What kind of stuff did you bet on?
Who won the most?
Do you two still do the bets?

A meteorite that small would've burned up in orbit. Either this was the last remnant of a larger meteor, a larger meteor broke up in the atmosphere and this was one of the chunks or you're lying.
Interesting nonetheless

Years ago I saw the naughty bits of a Sup Forums drawfag who at the time was 16. I didn't mean to let things unfold that way but it did due to constant flirting and teasing on both parts, but at one point it felt like I was grooming them. Guilt and fear of being internationally me too'd made me cut ties but I miss them, if only for their friendship. I know I know, 16 doesn't seem too bad considering the laws in their respective country but it would've been bad news for me, so I had to go dark. Sorry friend. :(

Some of those revolvers only carry a five shot cylinder.

I mean just stuff like "if I can make this shot" or "if ____ dies first in the movie" etc.
Just small mundane things.

Not gonna lie, once we started the fun stuff I tried to lose on purpose a few times. But 9 out 10 I'd win.

Yes we do, I do have a girlfriend and my sister is married now. But we still see each other often and continue with these bets. Though not as much as we used to in fear of getting caught.

Did he died?

Joe Dirt is all I have to say about that.

I'm a plain looking guy who enjoys going out in public with a fat buttplug in my ass and nipple clamps on. Sometimes I'll put vibrating bullets inside me and hold them in with the plug. Other times a really long 21" anal snake, again held in with the buttplug.

I believe you, my girl does this.

I’m not your friend, buddy.

I had a friend in highschool that was dating some dumbass beta dude. I just don't understand what it is but I really hate that guy to this day. At no point did he ever question why I spent so much time with his girlfriend, and he genuinely acted like we were friends. I feel like he might actually be some kind of retarded. His girlfriend wasn't the most beautiful girl in the school but we were friends and I had a thing for her. She would always tell me about how her beta bf would cancel plans and since I had nothing to do we'd just hang out instead. It got really obvious what was happening for everyone except beta bf.
We had a falling out but she and beta bf are still dating, and he has no idea I tongue wrestled his girlfriend behind his back so many times, and while he was busy dancing around on a stage like a fag, I was "watching movies" with his girlfriend, which roughly translates to "having the nastiest unprotected sex ever while porn plays on the tv"
I legitimately came inside her on the same day she went out to dinner with beta bf and his parents.

My best friend an I went to a live stream event in LA for rick and morty. The studio that was doing it had two buildings and we went to the wrong one. We were waiting around next tot the back door Andy Dick was there preparing to do some rehearsal or something. He comes out side and points to us and says “who are there assholes?” We then Figured out it was the wrong building. We went to the live stream and we got to meet and talk to Justin Roiland Dan Harmon and Ethan Klein from H3H3 productions