Girl I really like from POF. Yesterday we had our first date >Had dinner, a couple of drinks, she told me good things about me, seems to enjoy being with me >Told me among many other things she doesnt like to meet several persons at once, even if they are not dating, so thats a good point. She prefers to focus on only one person >Wants to go slow, I hold her hand and she seemed comfortable, accompanied her home >We kept texting after the date "living in the same neighborhood is the best against lazyness" "with this weather the best option is sofa and blanket"
Now the bad part We talked today, she said goodbye because she is going to bed. She is still showing online in whatsapp. I know she could be talking with more guys but its been almost 1 hour since she said she was sleeping This tuesday I have to take a plane and stay 7 days in another city, so Im afraid not seeing her in a whole week could be the end or who knows. What can I do? Im getting too paranoid and I cant ask her directly without sounding too clingy after just a 1st date.
Its already late and I know when I get too attached to someone, I dont really care about random girls from tinder, but this one girl.. I just want to date her for years, and I cant avoid getting paranoid all the time
Tell her exactly that and add a dick pick
Ignore her faggit. If she comes back she's yours if not find another
Chill bro. Ask her out tomorrow before you leave town. Let her know you want to see her when you get back. Keep in contact during the week. Ask her out when you get back.
If she moves on, fuck it. She was a cunt anyway.
Stop acting weird
She just said things like "hehe if you want to see me again thats a good sign" or when I talked about watching something together she just said "haha not that bad" Earlier she was making sushi for dinner "maybe if you helped me it would be easier and nicer"
Its like I have to start every conversation, its those kind of girls who dont like to take the initiative and always wait for the guy to make the first step
I will try to keep things normal, without asking too many questions or wanted to know what is she thinking about me. Of course Im trying to avoid asking if theres anyone else around
Don't overthink it, accept what she says at face value. Anything else will drive you mental and you'll do or say something stupid that will end the relationship before it has started. Focus on positive things, positive times together, ask her questions about herself, share things equally about yourself. Make the dates interesting and special, doesn't need to be expensive, just share good times together. Say a sweet thing to her once in a while which melts her heart. Make a plan each time to see each other in person, so you have something to look forward to and are in each other's thoughts. If you feel super paranoid or low in confidence, try to ignore it and remove it from your thoughts, then think of something positive to say instead. Put in the same amount of energy as her, so it is 50-50. You can make it 60-40 sometimes, especially in the beginning, to show you are interested, but in general 50-50. Relax and don't fuck it up. If she likes you, and you keep giving her positive experiences, she will naturally become more attached to you. Really don't overthink it. If you aren't happy with how things are after a few months, then maybe she isn't the right girl.
Bruh, you are already WAY past keeping it normal. Do what you’re gonna do, because you’ve doomed it in your head already.
This was destined to fail right from the beginning
Thanks for the reply user, I had bad and failed relationships in the past, too many cheatings, lies, and I always try to reset my mind with a new girl. This one seems perfect -at least for now- so Im afraid to fuck everything.
By the things she said about me, the way she reacted, she wanted to stay with me 4 hours straight, kept texting or making "jokes" about being together in the sofa I want to think she is interested. Im just too bad at reading girls.
This. Don't ask questions like "do you like me", or "why do you like me" etc. Women are like booby traps, forgive the double pun, and tend to go off for the slighest, weirdest reasons. Just be confident that she likes you, if she is passive and you have to initiate, keep doing it. Then after a few more dates, try leaving a few days without much contact, and see if she suggests a plan or to meet. It isn't a game, more of a dance.
Is this really what it's like to attempt to date while under the influence of autism?
This is more or less what I always did with other girls, but I dont know why this one makes me so nervous. As I replied here I think there are many hints already which show she has interest on me, so... I will keep things like this without asking weird questions or wanting to talk for hours every single day
I know how you feel dude, I tend to overthink too, so I've had to teach myself not to do it all the time. If she seems to like you, accept it at face value, say it out loud, "she likes me" and be happy about it. Spend time with her, but keep busy with your own things too. Take it a bit slower than usual so you can really get to know her. Don't reread things too many times, and don't reply immediately when you're tired or stressed. Take a breath and a step back and then think of the positive, confident thing to say. Girls are always a mystery, just folow what you want and what seems to be happening on the surface. She likes you, you like her, you meet up with each other, share time and experiences, and learn more about one another.
You're emotions are perceiving whatever little experience you've had together to be a possession. Steel yourself from this natural urge, or else you'll embarrass yourself and ruin any hopes you had with her.
Go on your trip, come back, and take things from there. Don't fuck this up user. Do NOT tell her you're worried that she's talking to other guys after a single date. It's cringe and she will flee to the hills.
Because you like her, because she seems like a good girl, because you are afraid of things going wrong. Don't make a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are her whatsapp online still after she says goodnight, turn off your phone and go to sleep or do something else. Force yourself not to check it. Status fucks up in a lot of apps, so it doesn't mean much. See her tomorrow if you can for a coffee, if she's busy, don't worry and say you'd like to "activity" when you're back. Think of a good idea while you're away and make the suggestion, so when you come back you can do it together. Be confident, be strong.
I'm sorry user but I've never known a girl (an attractive one, mind you) that only talks to one guy while seeking a partner. Women choose when to get into relationships/get laid so they keep their options as open as possible. The only exception I've ever seen is fairly hardcore Christian girls, Catholic not B*ptist or M*thodist girls protestants are whores.
Thank guys, I hope I can end up being with her. I will try to keep my mind occupied while traveling and write her from time to time. I know for sure when a girl doesnt have any interest at all she stops texting, ignores and never proposes things like cooking together or watching something.
She even told me in the date she rejected plenty of people because many reasons, she was "kinda" worried about what I thought about her too, asked it directly and says things like "but thats a good thing isnt it?" so.. I dont want to overthink it too much.
Im going to try to relax and keep spacing my messages. I wish she was like those other girls who keep texting or sending pictures all the time without even asking for them
See, you’re already wishing she was different and you barely even know her. You’re a future gaslighter.
If she was a different kind of grill you might not like her so much. Don't space your messages too much, write at least once a day, just write around as much as she does or a little more. Find out things about her, share info, use it as an opportunity to get to know her from afar a bit more. Good luck dude, don't think about it too much, but set your strategy with her so it is customised to her slightly different personality. It will be worth it in the end. If she likes it slow etc, maybe be a bit more old fashioned. Pay for her meal at least once, pick her up, after a few dates give her flowers. Doesn't have to be constant.
never understood what gaslighting is, can you give an example. I agree about him wanting to change her though, it's not healthy.
I was just refering I always like a little iniciative from them, having to be the first one who wirtes is too bad. I mean, before meeting her in person this saturday, I waited 1 full day for her to write me.. she didnt. So I had to do it again. If I didnt really care I would have ignored her but..
On the other hand, there was another girl I met last week, this one keeps writing me all the time and guess what, Im not really interested on her.
Im going to keep writing her, but without her doing it first its always hard to know when you are bothering or test the terrain
the girl I have been seeing is like that too, she doesn't initiate, and I wonder whether she is interested. I also offered several possible meetings and she said she was busy all one week, so we went for a week and a half without seeing one another. I am used to seeing girls I like several times a week, at least a couple, and for there to be more back and forth. however, when she is with me, we both have a good time, she is affectionate, so I decided not to think of it too much, and just to go at a different pace. I figure if I don't like it like this after a while, I can always stop. give it a good go with this girl, you can even suggest to her after a few dates in a nice but challenging way, "now it's your turn, think of something for us to do next date" and say it with a smile. she might just not be confident to set something up, and needs a push or guiding.
Google it, idiot
I have you obnoxious little faggot. it still doesn't fit with what you said.
Keep cool, and get off of Sup Forums. If you internalise the shit around here you will never be in a loving relationship with mutal respect.
Not worry about it. Nothing you can do. Try to get laid on travel.