Im so fucking tired of this shit

Im so fucking tired of this shit.


>be me, 17
>wake up in the mornings, wanting to close my eyes again and never open them again
>have to force myself to get out of bed
>school sucks; im barely passing; i know im a disappointment to my family, despite them refusing to say so
>had my heart torn inside out twice by my best friend, the only girl I've ever truly loved, yet she'll never know


>beginning of senior year
>been trying to move on but its hard
>found this one girl at school (will refer to her as Julia)
>junior
>really cute
>short
>beautiful eyes
>and her smile: the best thing about her.
>when she smiles, no matter how shitty I feel that day, no matter how much i want to die, and no matter how much I've been internally crying, it always makes me smile too
>every time we pass eachother in the halls at school, she smiles at me, I smile back
>we share a science class, and the two of us sit side by side
>we usually tend to talk
>she always seems happy to talk to me. really expressive, almost always smiling, and she laughs a lot


>its senior year, so fuck it
>join theater
>at auditions
>oh well what do you know, Julia's there too.
>we both get parts
>between science class and play practice, we talk.
>however, as time grows closer to the show, we don't get much chance to talk during practice anymore
>she still smiles at me in the halls


>first show rolls around, it went great
>after the 3rd show a couple days later, at the cast party
>Julia doesn't talk to me
>i try to talk to her a couple of times but it feels like shes ignoring me
>midnight rolls around, lots of people begin to leave
>its just me, and 3 other people. The guy who hosted the party, a girl whos a senior, and a girl whos a junior.
>sometime around 1am, the senior girl mentions how Julia and one of the other cast members have been going out, and have been caught making out during practice

It would seem Ive hit the char limit, but Ive already typed up the rest, so Im going to paste it in a response.

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(continued)

>the junior girl adds to that saying that she went to homecoming with another cast member, and not the one she'd been frenching with
>this talk goes on for maybe 5 minutes, but it feels like forever to me
>basically what i learned from this is that Julia had been hoeing around with other cast members
>it feel like an arrow shot me through the chest
>how could i have misjudged somebody so poorly
>how could i have let myself get so obsessed over this girl


>all of my emotions feel numb and I completely shut down for the next couple days
>i don't know why i feel so devastated over this girl who ive only known for the past 2 or 3 months
>i still try to smile at her in the halls
>she doesnt smile back, nor acknowledge me anymore.
>why does does she seem to not like me anymore
>Julia doesnt really seem interested in talking to me during science class
>a week goes by and i feel like the best choice is to just give up on relationships
>its not worth the stress


>...


>meanwhile in math class
>another junior girl
>she has black hair
>her eyes are silver, and pop like ive never seen before
>she was in my math class last year but we never interacted with each other a single time throughout the entire year
>this year she seems interested in talking to me, and initiates conversation
>she even calls me over to her table a couple of times just so she can rant and talk about stuff
>ah shit here we go again


>we mainly talk in class, and we've dm'ed on twitter several times
>however, im still trying to not bother with trying to get in a relationship
>however, im interested in her, and I think she's interested in me
>however, ive misread signals many times before, and i don't want to make a fool of myself again with this new girl.
>so, I think it would be best if all she is to me is a nothing but just a new friend
>we are
>just friends
>and it hurts


So yeah. Life's shit and I don't feel anything anymore. Any good music recommendations?

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Why the fuck do you care about girls so much?

starless by king crimson's some good shit

i can’t believe i read all that bullshit, but don’t worry OP.

none of this will matter in a few years when your ACTUAL best friend dies at 25 from an inexplicable combination of heroin addiction and poor self-care. enjoy your youthfulness while you can and don’t stress over womanz. they’ll come to you naturally anyway :)

cant you see- Marshal tucker band

itll be okay b/rother

man tf up

gotta deal with some annoying ass jojo fans though. And yeah, stop giving so much of a fuck about girls

>this

life is pain and it only gets worse so power through your insignificant girl problems OP. don’t be an faggot.

It'seems fucking high school. There's life after that shit show and it does get better and harder and shit hurts alot more but if you can get through the shit, you will find someone who will want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Stop dreading over HS girls who will drop you and move on to the next boy.

Also no girl will find attraction to you with this "my life is shit" attitude. Life doesn't get shitty till way later. So buck the fuck up and enjoy your teens years while you still can.

>be me
>be r/im14andthisisdeep kid
>lel dank memes
>highschool is cruel
>nice guy finish last
>theater kid
>keep making best friend grill i also want to grill my shlong on
>rrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee
>why does life suck
>what do
>lil peep and xxxtentacion but his earlier work not his later sad nigga hour compilation works
>scarlxrd is also great 10/10
>lil dicky truman/oh well but do actually learn from the lyrics

If you wanna feel something check out Cold, Cold Feeling by Albert Collins, but seriously, don’t worry about females, worry about yourself.

youre ignorant to the fact that youre ignorant, know that

in my opinion, dont listen to those incels

>its ok to worry about girls

ask the black haired girl to hang out, i know how you feel, i misjudge several times those signals but soon or later you will get the right girl just dont take the rejections too personal, learn from your mistakes! dont give up

also fuck those incels with his: why girls?

why did you think it was worth it to post about something thats happened to everyone?

kek seconded do get some puss or real conection hopefully both it certainly has done my life some good but what i will say is dont force that shit, but at the same time you do miss every shot you dont take

Keep your head up bro, only 17 and your talking like you got real life problems and shit. In 4-5 years your not even going to remember anything about high school, your stressing out about something that's a small speck of your overall life. Damn I wish I could go back and fuck around like a retard for 4 more years even if I had no other friends, enjoy the freedom from adult life while you can, go do some stupid shit with some bros, go play basketball or smoke some weed. Don't worry about girls or classes.

Hell if that girl really is a hoe, just go fuck the shit out of her, who gives a fuck, what fagget is going to judge you or say something?

>>be me, 17
>>wake up in the mornings, wanting to close my eyes again and never open them again
>>have to force myself to get out of bed
>>school sucks; im barely passing; i know im a disappointment to my family, despite them refusing to say so
>>had my heart torn inside out twice by my best friend, the only girl I've ever truly loved, yet she'll never know

Highschool may seem important, it isn't. In 1 year you will go off to the real world and recognize how insignificant your teen highschool years really were.

hes a 17 year old, what actual retard would give him the advice to go chase girls down, let him enjoy life doing anything he wants, hes not going to have that freedom in another 7 years. just fuck off you dumb fagget

How could you be only 17 and such a fuckup already? Kill yourself.

In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins always gets me in a good mood. Also, if you're really that hung up about you guys being "just friends", just say fuck it and ask her, man. Worst she can do is say is no.

I can't believe I actually read this shit. Dude, stop expecting them to initiate, faggot! If you're interested, tell them. If you just wait spending months talking to them, they'll only see you as a friend. Ask this new bitch out. You need to let her know, early, that you're interested in her otherwise she'll assume you're not and go for other guys. Come on, man. The worst that could happen is she'll say no, but then you won't have to agonize for months about this woman you like, and having put so much time into her

Try Billie Eilish or some other teenage singer who can get any date they want but don't because something something my deepest emotions.

He lied
Sbeve

TL;DR but I feel you man. You're young, get /fit/ take up a martial art, learn a trade, don't let yourself go and become a shut-in NEET.

who say chase? well he just need to be like you, wait until he doesn't know hot to talk to girls and being and incel for the rest of his life

Kys

Man, you have no idea how much life changes from this point on. Seriously, just have a bit of perspective. When I say that there's years don't really matter, I don't mean it with any sort of disrespect. What I'm saying is, there's a whole world ahead of you. You're no where near at the point where you can decide that your life will not be worth living. Just have a sense of humor about all this. Man, if only I could be 17 again.. chase girls but don't go all incel when you get rejected (that shit doesn't matter). Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Talk to your parents, ask them about what it was like for them to be your age. Don't take life too seriously, it'll swallow you whole.

Take care of yourself man. I wish you the best of luck. I know "it gets better" is kind of a cliche these days but it does. It gets better but the potential pitfalls get so much deeper.

This

yup I'm an incel thats married with 3 kids, fucking neck yourself honestly.
Either soy or gay giving shit advice like chase girls in highschool, but whatever

Eat shit zoomer
Also,

MODS!

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This song but the whole album is awesome.
Try to still be Julia's friend but don't wait on her. You're still young my dude, try to meet new people. Get tinder when you turn 18, can be very successful if you know how to hit it off.Fake confidence until you become confident. The hurt will pass bro.

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everybody can be a full ass faggot man in here, instead go to bed it is too late dont you think?

Terrible
Fuck that shit my nigga, get your piece of the pie and chill with this new chick brother, forget the last piece you had a shot at and embrace this new girl. Always be closing my man, take the shot, even if you miss your faggot-ass took the shot.

Underage b& cya.

Hey OP, sorry things aren't going well for you. Hoping I can give some advice as someone who can confidently say "it gets better."

Depression is a bitch, it is, and I'm assuming you're depressed from the overall tone of your messages. The best piece of advice that I ever got about depression is that it isn't inherently wrong, it's just a really negative lens through which you're forced to view the world. With some combination work, help from friends, medication / therapy, it's possible to beat depression and get back to a point where you can have a fuller perspective on things and not feel so negatively all the time. If you want some advice on how to get to that point I know a few things you could do right now that'd take 5-10 minutes at most that can help you a lot.

When you're depressed, dating is really hard. For one, your brain will chase ANY positivity if you feel some, meaning that any girl that makes you feel that primitive lust becomes THE one in your mind. This usually ends with putting this person on a pedestal, having an unreal idea of who they are as a person, so you'll overinflate positives and overlook red flags. Relationships are real tricky to get right when you're depressed, and if your emotions / self esteem get wrapped up in something out of your control it's even easier to feel worse about yourself due to things out of your control, which'll keep you depressed longer.
In short, I wouldn't recommend dating at the moment. Focus on getting yourself feeling happier, and start with your self-esteem. A lot of people have this idea that you'll be happy when you're successful, and if you're not successful you shouldn't be happy. Usually though the reverse is true, that making yourself happy will make yourself more successful.

Not spoken super well 'cause I'm tired, but I've been there. Ran away from home when I was younger and struggled for a while. Finally back in school because I want to be. I'm here if you need.

This

...

deal closers only boi true true

Besides the fact you're an underaged retard and you're not even suppose to fucking be here, you are spending WAY too much time worrying about this bullshit. You're fucking 17 years old. You want some real non-bullshit advice? Use this time in HS to fuck as many of these dumb whores as you possibly can. I'm not even fucking joking. Once you graduate nobody gives a single fuck about high school. This is by far the biggest regret I have, other than not playing every sport I could have played. Seriously, don't worry about one or two girls. Just fuck them and go about your business. Other people in your class obviously are doing exactly that, while you're popping a boner over a girl giving you a fucking smile in the hallway. Stop wasting time here.

What the fuck is this - a mini biography? Fuck outta here.

I wish I was 17 again and know what I know now. Kill yourself faggot.

underage b&

The only part of that I agree with is "Once you graduate nobody gives a single fuck about high school"

It's all true though. If I could re-do high school I would've been the biggest fucking chad in that bitch. Granted the sports part is optional, but as far as fucking all the hot chicks and partying my ass off I would have done all that. And gotten straight As on top of it. I WISH I knew how fucking easy high school is, given what I know now. Life only gets harder and more stressful once you leave.