2 TRUTHS AND A LIE
I'm going to tell you 2 truths and a lie.
1) I do over half of the work on a 10 person team and management had a meeting to discuss how our department would be crippled if I left
2) I met Tony Hawk at a small town skate park when I was a kid, he did tricks on roller blades on the half-pike
3) I had a wife who left me for a black guy and got pregnant by him
Good luck
Bump
>I am pregnant
>I met dahvie vanity at a bar and hung out with him
>I ate a piece of shit as a kid thinking it was chocolate
You are not pregnant.
Wrong
You didn't meet Dahvie, whoever the fuck that is?
I refuse to believe you didn't eat a piece of shit thinking it was chocolate.
Dahvie is some emo guy from a band who was pretty famous on here because of his scandal with apparently molesting underage fans
Pic related.
And I suprisingly have never eaten shit lol though it sounds like a believable thing for a kid to do!
1. I can't ride a bike
2. I can't swim
3. I can't whistle
Whistling is hard.
1) I took the virginity of my cute, blonde, prom-queen gf from senior year in highschool
2) I have briefly died and believe I have faint memories from my time dead
3) according to local folklore, my soul is trapped on the island of omatepe in lake Nicaragua because I ate a cursed fish I caught there
Oh, I also met Tony Hawk when I was a kid at the longboarder cafe in oceanside, ca. You from San Diego county OP?
3 is bullshit
Nope. Small town in Ohio.
awesome so which one do you think is the lie my man
I'm going to say whistling.
I mean, yeah, that small town could be anywhere in San Diego. I once got a head nod from him.
Or maybe I didn't, maybe that's my lie.
2 is bullshit. Tony hawk skateboards, not roller blades
#2 is the lie. I doubt you met Tony Hawk on roller blades.
nope. i can't whistle. its either 1 or 2
Nope. That one is true. It was a small town in Ohio. His bus pulled up and he was on roller blades. I just watched him do his thing, he said a couple of words to me like 'watch this' and he was out of there.
I'm clinically insane
I can't whistle
I've committed unspeakable acts to animals
Im gonna go with 1 is a lie but 3 is a good guess too
You did not get pregnant by a black guy
I've never had a wife or a girl who left me for anyone. #3 was the lie.
Im assuming you have a significant pay raise above the other 9 fuckers or are you a fag
My mom is a worthless, unemployed fuckup who's addicted to oxycontin. We have a longstanding deal where I fuck her, she gets paid. She's so desperate for drug money that she'll take anything. I've tried my best to get her help, but it seems this is the life she wants. If she wants to be a drug addled whore, that's exactly what she'll be.
I've been to Titan, where I swam in the vast and seemingly endless seas of liquid hydrocarbon. I met a race of kind, benevolent lifeforms of pure energy who took the shape of radiant balls of light the size of a human fist. They granted me knowledge of ancient human civilizations, taught me things long since forgotten, and returned me home. I have since begun constructing a utopia for humanity -- a city made entirely of ice-encased snow, in the plains of Africa.
Epstein didn't kill himself.
Nope.
I fucked up my life really bad and had to get back on my feet. I ended up working in a factory as assembly for 4 months. I got promoted to customer service in the office.
Now, I work CS for a factory that's late on every order and that's in complete disarray. We have 'tickets' in our email and I do about 70-80 of them a day. I take on average 50 calls a day and around 30 online chats. We usually have 150-200 tickets a day and I'm always 50-70% of them.
My co-workers are:
>This fat 60 year old blob who's literally always eating and on her phone. She's never not stuffing her face, she has to be every bit of 400 pounds
>Some girl who can barely hear and can't do more than one thing at once
>A black guy who types maybe 5 words per minute and has no idea how to answer anything so he always calls me over to his desk for advice on answering everything
>A supervisor who does literally nothing
>A boss that's a complete schizo that has a weird obsession with always being on the phone and talking to people
>This short middle aged girl who fucks up every ticket she responds to that I have to fix
My company never does raises and all they care about are their sales numbers. Not employee retention, profitability, happiness or anything else, just sales numbers. We're like the Walmart of steel enclosures. No one else produces the products we do, so we have no competition and no reason to improve, because people have no where else to go.
If what you're saying is true, demand a raise or quit. I wouldn't even go into work under those conditions. I've been in a call center for a company that had its head up its ass. It was the worst year of my life and I developed a serious drinking problem. Quit... I'm serious, quit right now.
Actually #2 was the lie. Pic related is the cursed fish I caught, la mujer roja. I went backpacking through central America after highschool graduation wity my brother and two of my best friends. In Nicaragua we got some fishermen to take us fishing on lake Nicaragua and they freaked when we caught this fish. They said it was cursed going back to Indian times and that if I ate it my soul would be trapped on that island for eternity. We already paid some ladies to make our catch into a soup at our hostel and we didn't catch much so we told the fishermen we were keeping it. As it turned out the fish were cooked with the head still on and my bowl of soup was the one that had this cursed fishy staring back at me.
My gf during my senior year of highschool was prom queen, she was indeed a virgin until I popped her cherry (so much blood in her aunt's bed it looked like I killed her, kinda unpleasant tbh), and is indeed a cute blonde.
I did NEARLY die some years back from septic shock from an infected wound, and I do have crazy memories from the twilight of being unconscious, but at no point was I actually legally dead.
>demand a raise
This company is cheap. Literally every financial decision is handled by a guy with the last named "Kuhn". The CFO. They fucked up my pay the first week in CS by $300 and wouldn't fix it. I had to fight for 10 days to get a $300 payment sent to me. He's a cheap piece of shit and a fucking moron if you ever talk to him in person.
Why don't you quit and update your resume for other jobs? You probably have software and ticket experience. Apply for administration jobs where you don't have to be on the phones.
Woah nice,i was actually considered dead for 2 minuets in the er due to overdose but say i don't remember even passing out