/balt/ + /ausnz/

Too much coffee is bad for you edition

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I said I would stop but here I am finishing my 7th coffee as my shift ends

Thanks, I found it scary to begin with but now I'm used to it

i go to sleep. give me inspiration that i dream about something nice

good night okay

how do you get a job in a cafe

Moi.

That was strange, just as I left my boss mentioned that I got a payrise last week, I never even noticed

Goodnight you cute little thing
The owners of the cafe knew I had previous experience as a kitchenhand in a restaurant and asked me to come in and help during a particularly busy weekend, I must have done something right because next thing I know I'm working there 2 days a week

>I got a payrise last week
You don't work min wage??
You lucky son of a bitch

I started on $16/h and now I make $17/h so it's not like I'm rolling in $$$ like the banker user

The most I've ever made is $15.25/hr

What a nice Sunday afternoon, I'm having a beer and relaxing with my parents

That sounds about right, I wouldn't pay a lanklet any more than the absolute minimum

You know you are really mean to me!

I'm sorry, it's just teasing, I don't really mean any of it

right...

Don't look so sad, I'll stop

me on the left

ok

Ey I'm Vlonjat Albanian from /Balk/ and my ass was recommended to come here. I don't know much about your region of the world 'cept that the Teutonic order btfo'd your ancestors and that Lithuania was the last pagan kingdom of Europe and that satisfies my inner Varg churchburner.

Ask me anything.

Are you gay?

Wow it's slow tonight, everyone must be out partying

haha we don't need to party when we have each other!
haha...

I dropped a knife on my toe and cut myself. How is everyone else doing? Posting this webm and not Karen cause I like it.

>gay new zealand anime girl posters

Shit I can't be doing with this

One of us isn't gay

Yeah......

Please don't get all yandere on me
>I dropped a knife on my toe and cut myself
Sounds nasty,
>How is everyone else doing?
I'm hanging out at my parents place right now, helping them out with various computer problems

>tfw spent hours on the computer each day throughout my childhood but still don't know shit about them cause I was never interested

Feels bad desu

>Please don't get all yandere on me
Don't worry your little head about it, I'll take care of you and everything else...

Why does being computer illiterate turn you on?

Cause I can invite cute people to come over and help me desu.

D-do you wanna help me pirate photoshop? I can afford it easily but y-you might have some nice skills d-desu.

wish I was a girl lads

Have you torrented anything before in the past?

>wanting to be a thot

maybe that's the price I'd need to pay to bring the bf home to my parents

N-no. I've always been a good boy and bought stuff legally. C-can't you come over and help me desu?

Having a Sunday baked dinner tonight.

I don't see the problem, don't your parents love you?

Sure, I'm on my way to your house.
I hope you have some snacks ready and have prepped the bed

>don't your parents love you?
yes

Then what's the problem?

I downloaded the new Adobe Photoshop CC 2018 last month but haven't installed it yet.
I get into a habit of downloading things then not installing or watching it.

I don't think they'd be happy to find out that their son is a sodomite

Okay, thanks for putting my mind at ease
I wish I was a boy that was forced to be a girl

The bed is always prepped. I fold the sheets everyday desu. I have Pods and Kitkats in the fridge as well.

Who cares
They should love you regardless of whether you are are a homo, criminal or drug addict, that's how family love works.
You'll never get anywhere hiding it from them, best get it out of the way and let them cool down over time, they'll appreciate the honesty.

>boy that was forced to be a girl
Don't tempt me, I know where you work

>Pods
Fucking nice, haven't had those in years.
I'll be right over

I wanna get all the adobe, microsoft and etc. programs. Makes my desktop look better desu.

>kiwis celebrate Christmas in the summer
don't you own a calendar lmao

>Who cares
me. I don't want them to stop talking to me

>his parents would abandon him for knowing he's a faggot
American """exceptionalism"""

Help me build an epic pc and I'll love you forever desu.

If you want, that love forever could come in handy.

>his parents are ok with him living in sin
Not really sure you can call that love

I wonder what would happen if I showed up to work in a maid outfit

I wanna impress people in the battle-station threads desu :3
The business would skyrocket.

>I wonder what would happen if I showed up to work in a maid outfit
if my doujins are anything to judge from, there would be a huge increase in sales

Love is about acceptance and help not hatred and manipulation for personal belief.

If you keep talking like this you might find yourself drugged and waking up on the table of the cafe in a promiscuous maid outfit.

Well I'll need a budget and what kind of stuff you want it to be able to do and any specific requests for storage or how illiterate you are or will be.

Lads, do you think you will ever find true love in the real world?

youtube.com/watch?v=P3TubsE8DyU
>Tfw you will never drift down mountain roads
in you sick skyline in nz

True love is what we make for ourselves
There is no magical "the one", you get exactly what you put in.

I think so

HOONS.

Just stick a bunch of LED's to whatever you've got now
>If you keep talking like this you might find yourself drugged and waking up on the table of the cafe in a promiscuous maid outfit
That's how my nights out usually end
No, I've kinda given up on the idea of ever being intimate with another person

>I've kinda given up on the idea of ever being intimate with another person
Why?

>I've kinda given up on the idea of ever being intimate with another person
Kinda you're own fault, you hate 99% of women but won't have relations with men.

>you're

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was writing my honors thesis and not a post on an anonymous Malayan spear-fishing forum.

...

Pretty much what said but add in some trust issues and a lot of apathy

that sucks

>that sucks
it doesn't, and that's the problem

do you like grills?

Why are you asking me?
I like both apparently

because I didn't know. I didn't mean anything by it

I'm fine with it, if I wasn't I'd try and change but right now I'm perfectly content being alone

>I'm perfectly content being alone
Shit, now I want to give you a completely non-sexual hetero hug

...

Please don't, that would be confusing

Sorry honey I'm back I had to vacuum some dirt up. My budget is the girth of your thighs times 2 desu :3
Good idea! W-wait you can be intimate with me. My bed is always empty desu.

ITT

/lgbt/ is depressing now

Those guys are really gay. Good thing we have these cute threads where we can talk about non-gay things.
Y-you don't need to be alone.

>girth of your thighs times 2 desu :3
I'm not sure I understand

Why would that be confusing?

>Those guys are really gay
It's 95% trannies now. I hate it

On a less depressing note I was just given a macbook pro

Well if you get a tape measure and wrap it around your cute thighs and it ends up being 40cm, then times that by 2 and you have my budget!

Its a simple system really, however you might need to times by 10 or even 11 if I will be able to have a cosy computer.
That board sounds gross. Our lewdness is way better desu.

>my budget is 80cm
what

>our lewdness is way better
That's not the point..

I'm not sure but I'm almost 100% my thighs in total are a bit more than 40cm in diameter

In dollars of course! And you would have to do that probably a lot more :3

...

I wonder if the banker is using me as escapism

at least you're being used ;_;

I don't get it
You quite literally are in a relationship

W-what do you mean? I-I have nothing to escape from beside having no one to love and the daily stress of debt and losing money on the stock market and not having a good relationship with my family h-hah ha.

he's been busy lately

Oh... sorry
I thought you were quite well off

h..hey OwO

I'm very well off desu. I was joking about the stock market bit though I actually made $50 yesterday. I am very happy with myself.

Now come over here desu :3

Now I don't know what to believe...

>and not having a good relationship with my family h-hah ha.
what's wrong?

I've never been depressed before don't worry. I just lied for the (you) I swear. Only thing that was true was the love bit and the family bit.
I don't talk to them very much. They don't hate me but they're kind of disappointed. My mum is concerned why I don't have a gf yet.

I-I love both of you.

>I-I love both of you

>don't worry
o-ok

>My mum is concerned why I don't have a gf yet.
Would she be less concerned if you had a bf?

For fuck sake, it's just constant fireworks.

Is there a holiday?

Cute traps don't count as girls though do they user?

>woke up again