If a zombie apocalypse happened, how long do you think you could survive?

If a zombie apocalypse happened, how long do you think you could survive?

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5 seconds

Right up until I died

zombies are still relative or are we in the watermarks of zombie culture for the autists and a good metaphor for Sup Forumss fear of minorities

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That’s an incredibly loaded question. You have to take into consideration where you are, what tools you have at your disposal, who you are with, what time of day it is when you come into contact with the infected. Not to mention what kind of infection we’re talking about here: are we talking World War Z or Shaun of the Dead? Or 28 Days Later?

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U would just have to survive for 1-2 months cause sombies are DEAD!
Their bodys will just collapse after few weeks+air might be MIGHT BE poisones si 1-2months

long enough to call OP a faggot

U are the guy i would love to have beside me

BITCH WHAT
WTF
I AINT NO FAGGY SHIT OP
FUCK THIS SHIIIEEEETTTT NIGGER

zombies are gay

youtube.com/watch?v=NJaS0R_sZxk

i'd survive forever

Fucking OP gave us nothing to go off of!

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I don't think you know what loaded question means.

Hm
Hm
Hm
*me thinking*
Hm
Hm
U actually wanna ask wait what

I think OP is assuming quiet a bit about us and the hypothetical situation

Why are faces rotted and fucked up but the hands normal?

I mean i*

OP gene confirmed

Laziness

Forever. Zombies aren't very competent. It's complete fiction that they'd take over the world.

I'd go zombie as a lifestyle choice and survive undead forever

That's not what a loaded question means. You have to be 18 to post here.

Hmmm...who guessed it was him...?

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Eh, I think it's died down a good bit. There was a time from mid-2000s to early-2010s where there were multiple movies, tv shows, games, books, etc. all in the same year. There's not a whole lot more you can do with the genre at this point.

Then ta-ta retard!

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this shit is only dangerous to retards, zombies cant even operate doors, climb ladders, hell stairs would be a challenge, they cant think, remember or make logical choices other than move towards source of noise/motion.

How to survive a zombie invasion does not assume anything controversial. Your own posts shows how stupid you are.

A loaded question would be if i asked you something like "so how do you like fucking those 11 year olds"

See? Offensive or controversial assumption that you are a pedo.

You went to public school in America, didn't you?

You would only need to survive a few weeks before everything rotted away.

I'm behind 3 reinforced doors on a basement level

I like it very much.

do they run ?

Is this before or after big brother takes or guns?

> Immediately getting yourself cornered


Great plan.

i hope not the half life ones

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Years, as long as food and water didn’t become contaminated.

Well i have access to a basement parking and a service lift but my office is behind 2 reinforced doors plus the access control door, also I have access to the surveillance room and stuff

unlike normal people who talk and do stupid shit all day ..zombies dont ..therefore i would not feel the constant urge to kill myself and would live a long and happy life.

Dysthymia is a hell of a drug.

Can’t fault this logic

Maybe a week

Make it 9 days and we got a deal

Had a zombie dream so what do I do? Fuck some zombie jailbait on a roof.

Zombies are just metaphors for us who where sexually lobotomized at birth.

As long as your mom.

I have enough ammo that i could sit on my roof and kill about 20 blocks worth of slow walkers, or slow people depending on how soon i realize the apocalypse has begun , after that i slide down the pile of bodies and begin my career as the wet bandit.

I'm American, zombies won't last a week with the amount of firepower every other person has.

rot flows down you idiot

they could make a good world war z movie that goes with the source material

can you eat any of that, or is your plan to survive off your own piss and semen

Long enough to shoot myself

I love how you were given the actual definition and you're still trying to argue your misunderstanding of the word. Just admit you were wrong. No need to double down, it just makes you look double stupid.

I have water and a Hilton nearby

Kkkekkk

I'll outlast you all. I built a house/cabin in the mountains and through a pol favor got fast internats up here. Very low population, nearest neighbor is a 1/2 mile away, he's a 74 year old hardass vet with a small cabin barely big enough to contain his own paranoid arsenal, my place is considerably bigger, nicer and much less rambo. He comes over and we drink together on football sundays, he's got almost no cash so we loosely barter for shit. Alcohol, firewood, lumber, ammo, smokes, meat, etc whatever. There's probably only 20 houses in our 15 square mile radius, mostly rough rocky mountain terrain. I personally know half of them, and know 'of' the rest. There's zero crime here. We got about 10 lakes and ponds within those 10 miles too, so fishing etc. I've got well water, 1000 gal propane, 330 gals of backup diesel genny and solar, woodburner with endless wood, easily manageable vegetable farm, fruit trees, heirloom seeds to last 50 years, can plink deer, turkey and bear right off my back deck, pantry stockpiled with cans and nonperishables for about one year. I'm 95% homesteader (already living here) and only 5% survivalist so I do not walk around in tacticool, camo, horde massive amounts of anything or think it's important to have gasmasks, a fresh batch of potassium iodide, rolls of olive green paracord or a "survival knife" in my boot. That said, I do have a scoped marlin .444 for hunting, s&w .45acp revolver for defense, and a 12g bird blaster because boom headshot.

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I'm sorry bro but I read the whole thing and there are no assumptions or anything that would make op's post a loaded question. I gotta side with the user who called you out.

>allying with an unstable paranoic senile old man with access to deadly weapons

user has never watched a zombie movie in his life
boomer would see one shell he misplaced in an epileptic fit and blow your brains out for 'stealing'

>remedy - end him first

so what you do all day

I'm a different user who was following the conversation. The assumption was the absence of all the things the other user asked about. Otherwise answers to OP's question would be limited to something akin to trying to enter the salty sputoon.

>assuming 99% of the population was already turned

what's the one easy way to reduce encounter chances to 0% with minimal cost and effort?

>medium sized diesel motor narrowboat to store small vehicles on including bicycle and motorbike
>stay anchored ~60m out at sea from points of interest (gas stations, malls etc) with binoculars
>track no. of zombies in area, lure one into sea by making noise
>repeat
>area is now low% infected and can be used as temporary lodgings while you stock boat with enough food and fuel to move on to the next settlement
>impervious to thieves, zombies and raiders as you will see them coming a mile away
>access to unlimited filterable water
invincible strategy

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This month, nothing, I'm going nuts nursing a broken arm and can't do shit. ima vidya, Sup Forums, tv, drinking, loser trying to push snow off my deck rn with 1 arm.... But I work full time building cabins and lodges, milling, timber, logs, big wood. I made a killing before I moved to the mountains so I'm not hurting for money.

He won't kill me until he finds out where the whiskey and smokes stash is.

For good. I dont like many people and trust fewer. Got a lot of land off the road so no easy way to get here. Already ready to go when shit hits the fan

how would simply being able to see people make you unaidable? are you assuming the would be thieves are using sticks and rocks? wtf are you going to do if I RPG your fucking fagboat?

Someone has to stay awake at all times. Pirates could get you. Once people see what you are doing they will let you come to shore and kidnap you. Then your boat people will have to make a deal or see their friends die. They can follow you even at a distance. You got nowhere to hide.

I like how a lot of these plans include access to fossil fuels. do you faggits really think that stuff has a long shelf life? all of it is going to go bad after 6 months to a year.

>what are you going to do if i RPG your fucking fagboat
i know, i see that boat full of crucial supplies that are necessary for me to live!
>I'll sink all of it to prove i have a big dick

you wouldn't survive long enough to get close, and not just because you're retarded.
pic related

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this is where the importance of patience and planning makes the difference of retards like rpg user and survivors.
>after all supplies are looted, raiders from shore will only have a limited supply to wait on and waste, meaning their only choice is to come to me
>regular watch with me and possibly another trustworthy user to ensure we don't miss anyone - its hard to stay hidden when shops have two-three exits that are constantly being monitored

pirates are a concern, however boats tend to make a lot of noise, and still have the problem of needing to keep the ship afloat to salvage the supplies, giving us the advantage

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as usual the problem is always niggers

Id' stay offshore 15 miles (over the horizon and out of sight) most of the time and anchor out there to live. Then approach land to about 12 miles and scope that shit out all day long, nobody will expect a boat to appear suddenly and at 12 miles only appears to be a small dot. Approach to different locations from different vantage points every time. Someone's always looking to take your shit, and you're looking to take theirs. The key is to be the unpredictable one, always giving yourself the advantage.

>IMMEDIATE SURVIVAL GEAR
>shitty back pack
>mild temperature sleeping bag
>excellent hiking boots
>mild temperature canvas jacket
>no decent cold weather pants
>mild temp thermal underwear
>no headware

>TOOLS
>Claw Hammer
>nails
>Leathermans
>poor hack saw
>can opener
>fork

>FOOD
>water bottles
>canned chili
>ramen

>WEAPONS
>PTR-91 308WIN
>200 rounds 308WIN
>Bersa 380
>20 .380 auto rounds
>poor combat knife

Considering what I have on hand. I'd give myself maybe 3 months before I died. I'm in a heavily forested area and within 10 miles of a city of over 50k people. So death from starvation in the forest would probably be likely unless I found well meaning people to group with. My first order of action would be to hole up at my house and go in search of a better back pack.

>an RPG is going to nuke the boat completely
what good are your supplies to me if you wont give them up? im gonna call out to you with an ultimatum; you give up the goods and live, or I destroy everything you have.

>I have a rifle

so do I, and all 18 of my boys. everytime you try to line of a shot you get met with a wall of lead. hell, I would probably just have them all light up your boat anyway.

fair reasoning, aggressive approaches tend the give the upper hand

however, my strategy reduces the risk of contact with undead, which now make up 99% of the population - it would be extremely likely to meet another user with a boat, tactical planning, stealth and boarding capabilties that happens to pass over the same tucked away spot the boat is anchored.

still 100% safer than any bunker

2 days max
my mom is disabled and I take care of her so there's a liability, thankfully though she has no teeth so when she goes down she can't bite me, I'd worry about my sister and nephew, so I'd try to save them which would probably get me killed, and everyone in my family, me included, are all typical overweight Americans. so yeah, outlook not so good

>d' stay offshore 15 miles (over the horizon and out of sight)
lets assume I decide to be a pirate because I know there are probably a bunch of faggits like you doing this sort of thing? you don't think I would have boats patrolling looking for your ass? If anyone comes looking for you, they will find you. The boat idea is fucking stupid and you know it. besides, that diesel is only going to last you 6 months to a year before it goes bad.

>idk what radar is

what you have sounds like a dream, autarkic life with remote cabin and high speed internet, exactly what I dream of sometimes. you go bro!
is there any chance I can see some pictures of your little cabin? I love them.

>a high powered explosive is going to destroy your boat and most supplies within, with the fuel igniting and fuel becoming unedible as it is drenched in saltwater.
yes user, that is how that works.

>me and 18 of my boys
this adds to the theory you wouldnt last one month. think about all the conflicting ideologies, priorities between such a massive group, each armed with lethal force to quickly end an argument over scarce food.

you also convenient leave out how you plan to mobilise this elite death squadron without being seen by constant watch

stop thinking about having a big cock, and more about surviving two days, limp dick nigger

At least until im bitten

>diesel is a rare commodity
>i would have boats patrolling for you

nice bait

>lets assume I decide to be a pirate
As a life long offshore charter fisherman, I'd see your amateur "pirate experiment" 100 miles away with my advanced radar and satellite systems which I am fluent in and have completely mastered. Also because I AM THE GODDAMN PIRATE if you got anywhere near me, even accidentally, your cute little pirate experiment would be sunk before you even knew I was there. Hypothetically speaking of course.

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lets put the rpg thing to rest because im pretty sure you are some 14 year old walking dead fan. ok, so the rpg blows up your shit. why should I care about the supplies at all if I don't have them? I will demand tribute, and if you don't give it to me then I will wipe you. if I cant have your supplies, neither can you.

>think about all the conflicting ideologies, priorities between such a massive group
doesn't matter, we are raiders. we aren't trying to create a society. we aren't trying to police each other. we are a group of like minded bad dudes who are working together to take your shit and rape you. your whole argument is as if group of thieves have never existed.
>constant watch
I like how you don't think I could have a crew but you can. for all you know one of the people on your boat might cave to our pressure and during their turn on watch they let us board you. wtf kind of fantasy land are you living in?
> how you plan to mobilise this elite death squadron
motor boats, cars along to coast, wtf are you asking me? does your plan assume you are the only human being left who knows how to operate vehicles?
>stop thinking about having a big cock, and more about surviving two days, limp dick nigger
sounds to me like you are mad because you know your diabetes wont let you live for a day in the new world.

Indefinitely.

>user living out a power fantasy where the US government gave him a warship in order to purge the world of fishermen
topkek
also
>implying i would ever approach a boat without weapons

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why would it be rare? we are talking about day 1 of the collapse. and why do you think you have the only diesel left? there are plenty of other overweight faggits who probably hoarded the stuff like you did. seriously, you faggits are acting like any kind of crime would become impossible in this world.

the boat idea if fucked and you know it. hell, fear the walking dead already went over this.

Since you were vague I’m going to assume a walking dead level of speed and brain function with 99% of the population wiped out. I’m fairly well stocked with ammo. .22 should handle a squishy zombie skull right? Probably too many variables to say. A few days to maybe 6 months max? If my nearby neighbors don’t try and kill/loot my place I’ll eventually run out of ammo but more importantly food. Having to leave to try and gather remaining food/non-perishables would be dangerous. It’s not the undead but the living you can’t really plan every scenario for. with a total breakdown of society government and police it’s not looking good for most of that remaining 1%

uhh user, you’ve heard the phrase no honor among thieves right..

>.22 should handle a squishy zombie skull right
probably not. the parts of the brain in charge of hunger/anger/(zombie stuff)/etc. is very small relative to the brain (r-complex?). So after the .22 gets through the skull, the energy might not be enough to bust the brain even if you were lucky enough to hit it.

does need to be honor. doesn't need to be anything. taking that boat is like a bank job. people might shoot each other when it comes to splitting up the supplies and whose turn it is to have sex with your dead body, but who tf cares? we got your shit. the world is over man. we are just doing whatever we want until we all finally die.

>take over mall
>mall has supermarket and liquor store
Id be fine.

because this screenshot is from the walking dead and a faction of people use the skin of zombies to look like them in order to blend in. Those aren't zombies in the OP.

protip: he's LARPing.

Well since I live in a busy port and most of the population is zombified I'd have easy access to any ships that I wanted, and the knowledge to pilot them, so the gubmint doesnt has to give me one. Now, obviously something like pic related would be parked and anchored out at 15 miles. My runabout would be something swifter with a small .50 cal on it, non-ethanol gas powered.

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I guess that may be true. Better become fluent in the use of a sharpened broom handle I suppose

I'd overpower them, retard.

Damn, user bystander here. Just be quiet, you're making it worse for yourself

We're in the Zombie Apocalypse already anons. Zombie being a metaphor for the unconscious mindless masses who voraciously consume everything around them and feed on their preferred diet of biased media-brain for sustenance. Are you a shill-pilled zombie or do you think for based yourself and oppose the two hoards?

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I would wanna die anyways, no one lives forever, so the idea of extending death is boring

You are living my dream user.

The walking dead zombies aren't all that dangerous if you don't count the outta nowhere ninja ones, if it's the gotta go fast in your face type i'm probably dead in the first day.

Yep walking dead zombies would be relatively easy to live around, but world war z zombies will rip the world to shreds in just days to weeks