ITT: We invent fake guests for Joe Rogan's podcast

>Michael Waitsfield is an anthropologist who specializes in ancient hallucinogenic practices and author of the book 'Man's First Fire'

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>David "Latsmaster" Tiggins is a jiu-jitsu/MMA/muy thai spectator, protein entrepreneur and creator of the Pedagogical Plank

>Daniel Horowitz is a comedian who Joe met one time at the Comedy Store and figured what the hell, he can't be any worse than Greg Fitzsimmons

>Glen Gurewitz is a Minnesotan hunter/environmental rights activist and millionaire who wrote the best-selling book "Spaceship Earth and its Bounty"

>Alejando De Los Sants is a blackbelt in Jiu-Jitsu and author of his self published Amazon book The Warrior Monk Within

...

>Sasha Green is an alt-center activist and nutrition guru and cryptoarchaeologist.

captcha related: hancock calle

Is this kino?

youtube.com/watch?v=jrL56-TZhQ0

kek

>With us today is a very special guest. 12 time Grammy award winner, 6 time Oscar winner, WWE Superstar and current UFC Middleweight Champion, The Only, the only, Eddie Venus, or as you may know by his Superhero alter ego, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ITS MR. WONDERFUL!!!

>Dr. Juan Pablo Salazar is a senior fellow at the American Institute For Why Do We Even Have Laws and Shit (AIFWDWEHL&S) and author of the book "Dude, Fuck Borders, Lmao".

Why the fuck hasn't Joe had Ben Shapiro on?

Joe has had on Alex Jones and retard Gavin McInnes, so why not Ben Shapiro?

Do you think Rogan and his producers are worried about red pilling too many people? If Ben Shapiro were on he would single-handedly birth a new generation of Conservatives.

>Ricky "Flytrap" Gonzalez is a bleckbelt Bokator fighter and marijuana enthusiast. He smokes a blunt in the middle of the session with Joe, derailing all the conversation for the rest of the three-hour cast.

Joe isn't interested in Benji's conservatism. He will have the alt-right lot on because they mostly just talk about SJWs and free speech. Benji talks a lot a bout religion, being an orthodox Jew, and nothing triggers Joe harder than someone making a case for religion.

Joe NEEDS to bring on kanye

Gavin is based man

Sly 'Jumpy' Jones is a former marine drill instructor turned subsistence farmer whose new book 'A Survivor's Story, a tale of the USMC, big pharma and alien abduction' is available now.

>Mitch Ramirez-Gotch, a black belt jiu-jitsu trainer who published a book about fighting gerrymandering by creating start-up organic vegan restaurant co-op in Mobile, Alabama

Liberal Jews are a-okay, but Orthodox Jews are no go zone for Rogan, he fears religious Jews. Just like he's afraid of Catholic priests strangely enough, which he continues to bring up every other podcast...

He was definitely diddled by a Catholic priest in his days as a Catholic boy.

Chet Burke is an Amazonian survivalist, anaconda hunter, and alternative historian who theorized that carbohydrates caused the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. Check out his podcast "The Psychoactive Ape" available on iTunes.

>Alex Jones is a reporter and water-filter salesman who believes that pedophile vampires from another dimension are controlling the government

what the fuck is taking so long, why hasn't he invited Dave yet?

I think even Joe realizes Ben is genuinly too stupid to appear on his podcast

>David Kirkwright is a fat Jewish Saudi guy who writes about how sniper rifles can be used to speed up the growth of marijuana. He lives on a tree somewhere in the Mojave desert.

Now prepare for lefty snowflakes to call you an alt-right troll for liking a popular youtuber

Considering he had a physical manifestation of liberalism on yesterday I think his standards are kind of down the drain.

>muh rhetoric
>muh ideology

wait how is Ben Shapiro not a physical manifestation of liberalism?

youtube.com/watch?v=f40GaoC_pNk
LIVE NOW
SCOTT EASTWOOD/CAM HANES

>Spud Greengrass, a folk song artist that performs for the homeless people in a spiderman costume and a George Bush mask. He also has a blog about ancient Indian tribal strategies to fight diabetes.

Ben probably has a higher IQ than anyone Joe has ever had on the show and also is able to clearly state his points and debate them. Maybe that's why he hasn't been brought on.

Ben Shapiro debating Sam Harris on JRE

The what now? You're making little sense, unless you mean classical liberalism. And he's no classic liberal either considering his religious overtones.

Would be pretty good imo

read his fiction book True Allegiance

every MMA guy who's been on the show has a higher IQ

Name ONE just ONE black guest that wasn't a useless retard that was going "umm yeah that's right Joe umm that's right my man umm yeah damn straight umm" for 3 hours

>The real Buzz Aldrin that was sucked into a pedophile space reptile wormhole vortex in space and made his way back to Earth with a makeshift spaceship is now there to tell the truth about the Apollo missions and take on the fake reptilian Buzz Aldrin for the fate of humanity at UFC 225 only on PPV $49.99

the black science guy
he gave off a really weird vibe though, either like he has some mental problems or was on drugs

>sasha grey - a 35 year old 9/10 virgin who hates mma and sings for a living about sasquatch encounters and stories she's been told

He's a sleazy poser who jumped on the alt right band wagon late and the only people who watch him are jaded virgins.

>Bill Wilson is a former agent of the CIA's counter-terrorism group and author of the best-selling book "Flight Plan"

...

>Chitzkowillisfritz, sentient slime from across time with a name that rhymes

hannibal and black science man
i actually thought the scientist dude was chill af, no reddit memes just interesting

>david paulides, author and expert on disappearances in national parks, possible bigfoot enthusiast, and retired cop

...

>Leslie Jones is an African zoologist whose autobiography detailing her life as a child raised by Gorillas in the Republic of Congo is on the NYT must read list for 2017.

Gavin's a clown, he occasionally makes some good points but his goal is to get views and he knows it.

>Wow look at the size of that thing she could tear you to shreds.

Co-Main event of Alex Jones vs. Giorgio A. Tsoukalos for the interim Crazyweight belt while David Icke recovers from an ACL injury.

meant for

>Sabo is a 300 pound chimpanzee who recently tore someone to shreds and co-authored the book 'The Size of that Thing'

Jamie, get the clippers. We're gonna shave Sabo.

"look at those BALLS"

jesus christ

I would be surprised if Joe hadn't already looked into getting a live chimpanzee into the studio so joe can examine it's thought patterns

>It's another boring sports shit episode

Why is Joe obsessed with apes, especially chimps?

Who the hell knows. Like is this stand-up?

youtube.com/watch?v=RWc-xtlMxHs

>her
>she

that book is basically a Decker novelization

>nothing triggers Joe harder than someone making a case for religion.
Or suggesting that marijuana may not be completely beneficial. He ain't having that.

He seems like he's a tard but has learned to mostly control it

>Christopher Poole is the former owner of the image board Sup Forums and now works at Google.

>Hiroshima Nagasaki is the current owner of a tibetan gymnastic fanclub and has written a fascinating new personal finance book titled "How To Be a Slanty-Eyed Jew"

Victor Kirkwood a libertarian free speech, pot activist, and martial artist, questions moon landing.

>Bart Harvenstien is a nigger loving jew who spreads disinformation and bombards the populace with race mixing ads

>i come from fucking ape people
>someone ion my family fucked a chimp
>im a chimp!

is this some sort of weird fetish?

When is he gonna invite Ryan Dawson ?

>Jamie is a professional puller-upper and sound recorder who also features on The Joe Rogan Experience

>Sup Forums is an internet hacker, political rebel, force of nature. He's here to talk with us about the science of trolling, the meta-syntax of internet commentary, and tendies.

>"Spaceship Earth and its Bounty"
nice

Serious question as someone who only knows Joe Rogan from the unfunny young guy on NewsRadio, why is Sup Forums obsessed with this podcast?

Joe Rogan is the Oprah of podcasting.

Sup Forums is becoming woke

He's a charlatan in a complex field. Hard to blag your way through astro physics. Plus massive ego and sense of self importance. That's why he comes across as a bit of a weird dude.

>David Bergstein is a NYT best selling author, comic and host of his own radio show: The Shekel Hour

>Dan Kirkhoff is a lawyer, health activist, and has written "Apes: Why they like to pull shit up" and "The neo-glutamate-enzyme conspiracy: How ancient bacteria control our immune system"

>Norman Frenstein is a Jewish circumciser and hate yoga practioner with a new audiobook "17 Hours of Babies Crying During Circumcision

Is that 4 Chan, the infamous hacker, in your image?

>Herve Immacularium, former UFC fighter and current owner of an organic venison burger startup where the gimmic is that the animal is hunted and wrestled to death by hand, without weapons. "Real dear - taste the fear"

>Immacularum discusses fighting injuries, including having his urethra cleared of scar tissue using a masonry drill. Joe recommends stem cells administered in a zero gravity environment amidst the chanting of a hundred tibetan monks instead (there is a place near Venice Beach that did it for his slipped disc).

>Jamie understandably pulls up the wrong video several times to Joe's disgust "Jamie pull up the thing with thing getting jacked...no Jamie, thats just the highlights, I want the leaked CIA footage"

I'd like for Gordon Ramsay to come on and for Joe and Gordon to have a 4 hour discourse on this photo.

>Steven Helsmith: A young prodigy in the field of medical science, currently leading studies that find marijuana usage has a myriad of adverse health effects, social repercussions, and safety concerns.

>all that saturated fat in a single sitting

Ben is a generally funny and entertaining guy but I think Joe probably sees him as a conservative talking head. Usually the conservative guys he has on like Gavin and Milo are big personalities who happen to spout right wing talking points. Ben compared to them looks like a nerd who'd only be focused on points and can't have un, like a hyperdrive Crowder.

In reality I think Ben would be more laid back and fun than Crowder ever was because Ben doesn't have crippling insecurity.

>Herman De La Hooze is a Jui-Jitsu blackbelt under Randolph "Handolf" Gracie.

>Talks up the benefits of waterboarding as a fight camo technique but clashes with Eddie as to whether a move is known as a half-dressed rear facing choke or a Spiderman Supernova Sundae as 10th Planet practitioners know it for easy reference.

Some of these are amusing enough to work. I'm gonna use them when I prank call BlogTalkRadio.

As much as I love megadeth, megadave and joe's personalities would probably clash most of the show

>Guts Basin is an Idaho-based standup and former bottle washer at the Comedy Store. An increasingly drunken Guts sounds like he has a problem with Jamie for the entire three hours, Joe doesn't call him on it.

>J'amarcus Wooten is a pseudo intellectual rapper and community activist, who touts his cookie cutter left wing political beliefs as edgy