I am making the decision to commit suicide. For the trolls...

I am making the decision to commit suicide. For the trolls, I will provide updates the next few days until I decide on a time/date/location. I have to figure out the situation with my cat (whom I love dearly and cannot adequately care for anymore) and my mother (who tried her very hardest for so long). Most likely by hanging.

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Other urls found in this thread:

vocaroo.com/
youtube.com/watch?v=kgzDeeY8WsU
youtube.com/watch?v=u4ICY6-7hJo
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Good for you user.

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just dont do it

i just give up and i'm tired

can i have ur stuff? lol

Hanging is extremely painful, OP. I tried it in my youth and it hrts very badly. Don't do it. Charcoal burning is painless.

Wear something humorous like a chicken suit

Not much really. A nice TV, some cool guitar equipment, odds and ends and knick knacks. i really want someone to love and care for my cat.

if dubs don’t kys

Thanks. Good to know. I'll look into other routes of asphyxiation.

that would be pretty funny i guess

I love my guitar but I don't play it so well anymore

Jesus loves you user, and he has a plan for your life.

think about your mum. she wont take it if you kill yourself

trips = stream

Jesus doesn't really exist.

NO ONE CARE that you die or live, so might as well keep living cuz it's like you're dead already

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dubs have spoken

If it wasn't for how she'd take it I probably would have done it today.

Have you exhausted all other alternatives? Truly?

I'm in a tremendous amount of stress and discomfot and I've tried dozens of medications for two decades and none of it works. Antidepressants, mood stabilizers, anti-convulsants, anti-anxiety drugs, marijuana, alcohol, psychedelics, nothing nothing nothing nothing works. at best it buys me time.

tell us more about the picture

>location
how about in front of your webcam you idiot.

this, genuinely interested

see If I get hospitlized they just sedate me. The hospital doesn't heal you, it just keeps you from getting worse on their watch.

My stomach hurts. My head hurts, my face is buzzing. I feel strange. I feel resolved, like this is the right thing for me to do.

vocaroo playing the guitar please

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ur mum would do anything for more time. no mother wants to carry his child to the grave

The picture makes me so sad because I know how they feel with each other in that picture, how joyful and complete and happy they feel, and when I kiss my girlfriend like that, make love to her, fuck her w.e. I never feel like that. It's missing. She is in utter ecstasy, she is happy, and I can't find that
how sad is that, I have a girlfriend who loves me and I forget she exists. she'll find someone better, i'm not concerned about that

have you tried to move to another country?

she is happy with you. why should she find someone else?

at least u have one

For what it's worth, I have a weird thing where I play the guitar equally well with my right hand and left hand. It's strange and it's not something I've personally seen a musician do.

When I am super super super super depressed I play as a leftie and it makes me feel better. I play lead better leftie and rhythm better rightie

Maybe when they autopsy my brain they'll figure out why that is.

If you’re going to leave with a bang might as well rob a bank and hand out cash to random people.

If it is then it is. I am not opposed to suicide. I am opposed to irrational behaviour. I know a woman who committed suicide, it was the right thing for her to do. She had suffered for almost 20 years, and it wasn't getting better. Psychologist couldn't help her, meds didn't help her, religion didn't help her. She ended it, and none of us though ill of her because of it. She was loved, but love doesn't heal all wounds.

It won't heal you either. But dying is a permanent alternative. You have to be absolutely certain that there are no other alternatives, because you do not get a second chance. So I am curious, what are your problems, and why are your problems unsolvable?

>The hospital doesn't heal you

A psychiatric hospital provides tools to help you heal yourself. Not to sound callous as I too suffer from severe mental illness, but when it comes to treatment, a good part of it is deciding that you deserve better in life. I'm here to tell you that you deserve good things in life, and suicide isn't the right route to go.

This.

that's my problem. that's why i am not doing it right away.

why does my face feel numb?

This is actually a fantastic idea. I am going to run this through my mind for a while. Thanks actually. Thanks a lot.

>why does my face feel numb?

because this is a bait thread.

Definitely recommend reading "How to Die", a collection of thoughts from Seneca before doing it.

Respond so op sees this.
Helium is the most painless way to go, use it.

tell us your story. maybe we can help you to try new ways you never thougt of.

They're gonna sedate me again. They're gonna inject me with haldol. It locks my muscles. I can't move. It gives me tremors. It makes me shake uncontrollably like I have parkinsons.

It gives me horrible anxiety, the worst anxiety I have ever felt in my life, when they start me on drugs like risperdal and latuda I feel the worst I have ever felt, like I will never be happy again

Frankly I actually feel better right now then when they put me on anti-psychotics. It feels like terror injected into my consciousness

I wish it was my dear friend whom I will never ever see

thanks, will keep this in mind

I'm asking you to record a vocaroo of you playing the guitar and then send the link user.
Could you do that please?
vocaroo.com/

Sure you are.
>Why not an hero ?

op, id like to share with you this. take a listen if youd like
youtube.com/watch?v=kgzDeeY8WsU

Why does this porn board cares so much about these threads?

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I hear that helium is usually tainted now with low consentrations of another chemical to make it noxious to breathe.

because it never was a porn board. it was a board for lost souls searching for a second chance

This.

You realize that you're sedated when you become violent. A way to avoid that is not to start fights with the other patients or staff or try to harm yourself. They don't immediately sedate you as soon as they put the medical band on your arm, and if you're implying that they do that, then I highly doubt the legitimacy of your plight.

Everything about your posts thus far screams for attention. Not authentic cries for help, but of a b8 thread with guaranteed replies. In the chance that this is legitimate, YOU are in control of your own happiness. It is up to YOU to make yourself better. Medication helps and therapy helps, but it's up to YOU to make yourself better.

I'm not wasting my time any longer.

>inb4 someone else gave up on me

> Hospitals just sedate you

Wrong. You have an intensive care until you can fully function in society. You should seek help and say about your intentions, than probably put you in an hospital to heal

OP.

Suicide is selfish.

What ever you're going through, as hard as it may seem. will pass with time.

not a virtue fag.

You should genuinely look into what golden gate bridge jumper survivers have to say about jumping off. Also consider people who have d

rank bleach an now have their intestines on the outside of their ribs to eat and live.

Not back in 2006.

This may help anyone struggling with suicide, to understand how the emotions of the mind work.

youtube.com/watch?v=u4ICY6-7hJo

This’ll be another “Sup Forums scary story” on YouTube 2 months later if he goes through with it through his death he’ll make someone rich

What do you mean with never, it's a porn board at the moment

living is more selfish, taking up space and resources of those who value life and helping to ruin the planet while they're at it

>Jesus doesn't really exist.

*suspense*

i think he means its original intent was not porn

This was literally always a porn board. It was worse in the early days of Sup Forums. I'm actually glad the trap, furry, loli, porn threads have calmed down after all these years.

You must live in a city, move away from w/e shit hole you live in user.

Yeah, its been fairly tame since the anontalk raids ceased.

Whatever the original intent is has been this way the past decade and I'm sure the even earlier users would also agree the porn thread volume was far worse back then compared to today. And itll likely stay that way for the life of Sup Forums.

>NO ONE CARE that you die or live, so might as well keep living cuz it's like you're dead already

Pretty dope advice. user, once the lights go out its for good - there doesn't seem to be any plausible reason to think otherwise.

Before you do anything. Look up Sam Harris waking up podcast. Look into his thoughts on consciousness and our subjectivity on reality. I don't want to sound like a brochure but his introduction into mindfulness meditation have truly changed my life for the better.

Damn it's a hard guess to guess someone lives in a city since about 98% of everyone does. I live in a decent city. I'm also not op.

I have a genetic disorder called schizoaffective disorder. It's bipolar disorder with paranoia and delusions. This is my life, there is no healing.

People who have never been absolutely helpless don't understand this

What’s your guitar?

I need help so badly but I don't want my parents to know because they think I've been doing really well.

I can't do the mood swings anymore. I can't take the expansive, euphoric, creative, hypersexual mania. Weeks of it, weeks of not being able to sleep more than 3 hours a night. weeks of not eating. I'm sick of it. I just want to go to sleep.

Also the mods have been much stricter about child related stuff as well (which is a blow to the lolitards). Even non sexualized content gets removed now. There used to be a lot lf child stuff that I wouldnt even call it borderline porn, just straight porn that was never removed in the past thatll get shut down instantly now.

Today some shit wont fly like it used to. Not sure why they changed as I havent been consistantly on Sup Forums to pay attention (probably a legality issue).

We should be encouraging this faggot to off himself.
>What the fuck happened to you Sup Forums ?

you're choosing to be helpless, user.

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it's a brand new affinity squier. I love it. the pickups are amazing. if you listened to it you would think the pickups were off a mexican strat.

i have a univibe pedal which is pretty cool.

I have a 30 watt marshall solid state amp. It's an incredible amp. marshall did a fantastic job.

you shit an piss wen yuo hang yrself don t do i t!1

>not op
Yep, I figured.
>98% live in cities
I don't, tho I live in the USA. I assume you live in the sardine tin that is the EU?

The person who would best take care of your cat and love him the most is you.

You don't have to encourage me. I'm gonna do it at some point.

How old are you?

>MAKE HIM DO IT

why? He's already doing it.

I didn't choose to be ill. I didn't choose to be born, why am I now morally obligated to sit around and suffer?

It's like "hey OP, this is your mom, I'm gonna fuck and get dick and now you have to live in pain because I was horny and wanted a child to complete my life picture of how I should be"

There is medication for your condition.

I'll be 27 in March. I've been dealing with mental illness, starting with intrusive OCD, since I was 11.

I aint going to stop you, I just wonder how you think its a good idea. Theres no possible way youve exhausted all alternatives.

Assuming you are being legitimate good luck, but I hope your faith is strong because no matter what awaits us in death I cant see suicide as being a positive under just about any circumstance.

I'm gonna have to get my lamotrigine upped because I am really in a bad spot.

My moods change so fast. If it's bad like it is now I cycle from mania to depression every 8 hours. I literally feel myself cycling back up as I sit here. I don't feel sad anymore. This is torture.

This is how I look at it.

I die. I am buried. I disintegrate. I turn to dirt. I am returned back to the Earth. We are a part of each other again

Yeah, yeah.
Forgive me, we get this shit from LARPing faggots every fucking 15 minutes in this shithole.
>If you did, I'd consider looking after your cat ?
Post a pic of him/her.

There's always one more thing to stick around for

There are different degrees of mental illness.

This is, in my opinion, the worst off a person can be mentally without hallucinating. I can't imagine it being worse than this. Schizophrenia is worse than this, I have no doubt. I don't think there is a mental illness becauses schizophrenia that comes close to schizoaffective disorder in terms of dysfunction and raw misery.


If God appeared and offered to take away my mental illness in exchange for one of my arms, I would do it in an instant.

*besides

No, they add oxygen so dipshits don't kill themselves doing the voice thing. Keeping you from using it in an exit bag is just a side bonus.

Listen here, dumbass. No one gets to cherry pick their life, some get sick and others don't. There are treatment options available that have proven to work, and when it comes to psychiatry, 95% of the treatment rests on the patient. What this means is that it's up to the patient to take more than an active role in their treatment plan.

If your doctors are shitty, find others. If your therapist sucks, find another. If medications don't work with your body, speak to your PNP or psychiatrist to try another while under the understanding that psychiatric medication is a trade-off.

All I'm seeing is someone who wants to self loathe and willingly and knowingly give up, or at worst, someone with a few tabs open with WebMD and a few Google Scholar articles pulled up while giving us a ride around town.

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I have extremely easy and readily available access to a medical nitrous oxide/oxygen machine. It might be this.

If you are making this offering, then God has already come to you my friend.

He has put this thought into your mind, all you need to do is act.

Still young.
OCD? Ever tried Clomipramine?

Can you give me your xbox op?

People on Sup Forums are pussies
Op is on Sup Forums
Op is a pussy
Op wont fucking do it

hurray

Yes.


Drugs I've been on for OCD: risperdal, prozac, celexa, effexor, trazadone, remeron, wellbutrin, anafranil, luvox, zoloft, and now cymbalta

Drugs I've been on for manic-depression and thought symptoms: valproic acid, lithium, topamax, lamotrigine, risperdal, haldol, seroquel, abilify, latuda

I am so tired. This is my life. I really don't enjoy much anymore. I don't enjoy sex anymore. I don't enjoy intercourse anymore. I am exhausted. This is living but it is not life.

I have some 360 games, best i can do

plus plenty of random anti-depressants and sedatives like ativan and atarax. lots of marijuana. tried LSD a few times, I understood me and my life for a few weeks and then the knowledge disappears.