Finally confronted my father about all the abuse he put me through growing up and he unironically used the "you were...

Finally confronted my father about all the abuse he put me through growing up and he unironically used the "you were too sexy" defense. What the fuck anons, I didn't realize that was an actual thing people said. It doesn't even make sense, he would constantly make fun of my body and bully me, but now that he's been caught out he tries to bullshit me and attempt to make me feel good or something. Idk anons, this shit is whack.

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Sounds like an asshole

He is. When I was really little he wasn't though, but as soon as I reached puberty he seemed to change entirely. I guess it's possible that I might have deserved it in some way, but the man is even rude to waitstaff. He's fucked.

Why would you deserve it? Sounds like bad parenting. Shouldnt resort to mental/physical abuse of a child.

You femanon OP?
If so, tits or gtfo

I phrased that weird lol, I don't think I deserve it, but random waiters definitely don't deserve it. It's possible I was a shit kid (I wasn't), but he is rude to everyone.

I'm out then I guess. It doesn't really matter, I don't want anything from you guys except a chance to vent.

This.

I mean, were you too sexy? Pics plz.

Screw that user. I was abused to, and your voice matters. Vent away, screw the victim shamers.

Pics or it didn't happen

Here prob isnt the best place to vent honestly.

you sound like a massive bitch, no wonder he doesn't like you

Tits or GTFO, Timestamp or it doesn't count.

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A cunt's voice never matters.

>power imbalance
>bullying
>gaslighting
>sexual abuse

what are you complaining about op? thats my perfect relationship

Thanks user. I hope you are safe now.

I talk to hotlines too, but I kinda like the relaxed atmosphere here, I get a laugh out of people asking if I was actually too sexy for instance, like it would matter.

So you'll fuck your father, whom you hate, but won't even show us your tits, when we've been nothing but kind to you?
You've got some messed up priorities, OP.

This

for real though, were you cute?

lmfao this is a relaxed atmosphere to you?

You sound like you're telling the truth.

You fucking survived man. I will say (as someone who didn't have the same experience but a vaguely similar one), don't let that cunt live in your brain the rest of your life. Do therapy. If not for the talking, then for the meds.

You're your own master now. You acknowledged the evil, you didn't run from it. The world is yours, you can accomplish anything.

Call cops, put pop in prison. He dines at the all-you-can-eat Black Cock Buffet for 10 years, you laugh.

If it's consensual then I guess that's okay, but I don't think a relationship like that ever really could be. I know you are probably joking, but if that really is your thing please be careful user, don't hurt anybody.

I never had sex with him that I know of.

As a little kid I was wicked cute, but when he started abusing me around puberty shit went south for a bit. I gained a bit of weight, my hair started thinning, I would throw up a lot at night in bed and so my teeth started getting a bit whack.

It's all anonymous, there is no pressure to do anything. I can leave anytime, this is the ultimate freedom.

Thanks user. I am doing therapy although I struggle telling the whole truth, I sugar coat a lot of stuff and it ends up not doing me any good. I hope you are doing good now :)

I will any day now. I mostly just want him to admit he wronged me, but if it takes prison to do that then I'm open to that.

You will eventually regret this if you do. He gave you a gift, and some day you'll realize it.

you can't have your dad arrested for making fun of you, stupid whore

Drug him and get HIV infected faggot to plow his dirt.

Alright child abuser.

Ah, the sweet gift of feeling constantly shit about my body and simultaneously having it touched against my will.

He touched me too, but I'm mostly salty about the verbal abuse tbh. It's confusing to be constantly told you are ugly yet also not ugly enough to not be sexually abused.

Def send him to prison. How old are you now/how long has it been since the abuse stopped?

why do you care user? the best revenge against a prick in your life is to cut him out of your life and be happy.
>i moved 2500 miles away to ditch my family and im actually happy now, i actually get worried the fuckers might move here or something and id have to leave again

>Ah, the sweet gift of feeling constantly shit about my body and simultaneously having it touched against my will.
See, someday you'll realize that gifts aren't always candy and happy rainbows because life is enormously more complicated than that. And if you're capable of any kind of wisdom at that point, you'll realize what he gave you.

This is based on personal experience, but not in the way you think.

We all know OP is a dude, don't be fooled.
Now show us that cute little boipussi. :^)

>if that really is your thing please be careful user, don't hurt anybody.
I was serious, but I'm also aware that it would be unsustainable and unhealthy to go through with it. abuse and emotional manipulation is tricky to do consensually but I manage.

beat the shit out of him and tell him god isnt real. thats what I did and I have to say it felt great.
>my dad was a fucking nutter back in the day. >totally manic depressive/bipolar and user.
>he beat my mom and us kids to an extent and abused me (which the rest of the family isnt privy to).
>i was afraid of him for a long time.
>i spent a long time languishing in fear and hate.
>one day when i was about 20 he re-entered my life in some strange ways
>he was in (local SoCal town) and was arrested on weapons charges and somehow had my number and called me to bail him out.
>told him over the phone that he could go fuck himself
>charges didnt stick and he got a pretty lenient sentence. community services and time served or some shit, apparently he defended himself in court
>he is a fuck but is extremely smart. largely photographic memory and high IQ. probably could have been something but he had a nightmarish childhood.
>total bum nonetheless. cant have a drivers license, cant have a passport. cant really do anything until he pays owed child support to my mom, which i never saw a dime of. now that my little bro is 18 it doesn't matter but the amount owed is a little over half a million
>he start tryiong to re-establish contact, i change my address and phone
>i keep running away from his occasional advances, he keeps finding my address and those of my family
>one day I get a letter where he trys to explain why he did what he did, says pretty much what your old man said, he 'couldn't resist once he had tried once' and that 'things were as much my responsibility as his' along with a whole lot of other bullshit about how we are family and I need to learn to forgive and to re-accept him my life
>talks about ho the family and my mom pushed him to drugs
>doesnt really know me (divorced when i was about 8, am roughly 20 at this time) but accurately guesses that i have homosexual predilections, that I struggle with drinking, and that i am profoundly depressed

>whiteknighting THIS hard

well sorry kid, rules are rules

I'm 19, it started when I was 9ish and stopped when I was 16.

I like my mother though, even though she did almost nothing to stop what happened I still love her and I don't want to be away from her. I worry if my father gets arrested so will too, that's one of the reasons I still haven't dobbed him in.

I'm not capable of wisdom. Lay it out for me, what gift was he giving me when he made fun of me for growing pubes and then immediately felt the need to touch them?

I'm glad you know it would be wrong, I hope you find someone into the same things that you can be with.

Do you have anyone in your life you can turn to? Are you seeking help?

I see a psychologist, and I reach out to hotlines if I need immediate support. I've never talked in depth to her, but my best friend knows something went down and she always cheers me up if I'm feeling shit.

Thanks for asking btw.

okay so wait.
you said something about him wanting to make you feel good by saying you were too sexy... did you really take that in that way?

Eh, not sure if you can put him in a cell for a fingering with no witness. It would be best to wear a wire, pretend to forgive him, the record the confession.

You're welcome. Things like this only get worse when you handle them alone.

When I was young he never said a kind thing about me, but now that I'm confronting him he is trying to claim I was too sexy and he couldn't resist. It doesn't add up.

My mother is a witness and if she was willing to testify against him I'd forgive all her sins.

In my eyes your mother is just at fault for knowingly letting it happen. Almost equally disgusting.

>I'm not capable of wisdom.
That much is clear. I said one day you might be capable of wisdom, not now. You have a lot of hard living to do before you realize that there isn't some ideal upbringing that was stolen from you and the suffering you've endured so far is almost quaint. Among more important things that can't be explained and need to be experienced. Or not, maybe you'll just be a bitter cunt and resent the world for giving you a life that is better than what most human beings in history could've ever dreamed of.

>When I was young he never said a kind thing about me, but now that I'm confronting him he is trying to claim I was too sexy and he couldn't resist. It doesn't add up.

look, kid im asking if you took it as a compliment. you made it sound like it meant something to you. be honest, did it?

Mom aint gonna testify, she'd wind up in a cell

Slut OP willingly sucked daddy's big dick and now she's a total failure in life, wants to blame all her troubles on an invented trauma.
You loved sucking it, you loved the attention and we all know it, whore

You underestimate the power of the pussy pass.

Maybe. She wasn't cruel about stuff though, I wish she had protected me but I'm willing to forgive her.

I'll take the bitter cunt route for the moment I guess.

I'm really not following my dude. Did I take being called sexy as a compliment? I did not.

I'm sure some sort of deal could be worked out, especially if I asked that she doesn't get punished.

I never sucked his dick, he never raped me and I never claimed he did. He touched me, and a couple of times he ejaculated on me when I was sitting on him but that's the extent of the sexual stuff.

>He touched me, and a couple of times he ejaculated on me when I was sitting on him
we're going to need a lot more detail around that op

We've listened patiently to your issues and you have benefited from our advice and compassion.

Don't you think it's time to start following the rules?

>I never sucked his dick, he never raped me and I never claimed he did. He touched me, and a couple of times he ejaculated on me when I was sitting on him but that's the extent of the sexual stuff.
That's what you're complaining about??? What a whiny little bitch. Get over yourself.

>i am taken aback by the letter and dont really have the ability to process it (didn't seek professional help cuz I am fucking stupid about my problems)
>in a moment of deep personal weakness i considered suicide to the point of loading the gun
>barrel to head
>can't do it.
>he guessed i wouldn't in the letter too
>I realize I need to face him
>can't keep running
>dont want to out myself to family and change the way they look at me (being the tough guy about the whole dad thing was a big cope for me and I cant let go of the charade)
>nobody knows about the abuse, not even mom
>not abouit to tell them, not going to call the cops
>need to do thing myself
>begin 'planning' but basically just fantasizing about breaking him mentally if possible, beating him to death if not
>just know that I need to see him one last time, and I need him to know what i think of him
>he has disappeared in the meantime
>start stalking his old friends on facebook
>its been about a year and a half
>following his old best man we will call jeff for unrelated reasons
>bingo
>in new jersey living in jeffs house
>hit up jeff, he is fairly close to our family
>ask him what the story is, how the old fuck is doing, pretend like I care
>old man is bumming on his couch waitng to to find another stupid woman who thinks he can fix him (he has been through like 4 "wives" since my mom, his first marriage)
>basically just gaslights them and uses their AMEX cards
>Jeff is (or was) his close friend but has a life and a kid and is getting tired of my old mans shit
>make out that I am just checking up
>ask how he is with the dope
>apparently he is back on the shit but trying to clean up via methadone
>jeff knows what clinic and volunteers the info, dont even have to ask
>brilliant
>the cogs begin to turn in my plan
>not sure what i am going to do when I find him, but I purchase a little revolver
>take a "vacation" from work, tell my boss I am going camping
>tell everyone I am going back packing

>He touched me, and a couple of times he ejaculated on me
Legalfag here. That's not enough to convict. You'd need a confession.

Your dad sounds like an 80iq retard trying to be manipulative. Cut off all contact if possible, he is garbage

>a couple of times he ejaculated on me when I was sitting on him but that's the extent of the sexual stuff.
uhm ok lol idk how you got the idea that you could reason with him. i mean that's past an asshole dad that's criminal.
regardless if you wanna tell him how you feel you should write him a letter. just remember to give it to him personally, and not your mom or else she'll throw the letter away.

how's your self esteem doing these days? still got that deep-seated feeling of worthlessness that you can ignore most of the time but never get rid of?

Show me where he touched you. It's okay, I'm a doctor.

So basically he did nothing and you're still blaming your shitty failure of a life on him because you lack the responsibility to be honest and admit that YOU have failed and are a fuck up and no amount of jail time for Daddy is going to solve that problem.
I'd tell you to kill yourself in normal Sup Forums tradition but you're such a fucking drama queen that you actually might do it.
Grow up OP. Somebody literally just touched you and you're so brainwashed that you now think it's the root cause of your problems.
You're a loser who has found an excuse to play the victim to shield themselves from the ego crushing reality that they're a loser.
You want some actual advice not from some basement dwelling teenager in between masturbation session of cuckolding and loli hentai?
Be honest with yourself. Only then can you start to improve your life. It's your fault you're a mess and nobody else can help you until you realise this.

Kek. We had a 2 person bath, and I would go in it with my mom and dad when I was little. Eventually I got too big and I started having to sit on them in it, and one day my dad ejaculated on me. My mom gave him tons of shit for it, but I didn't really know what had happened tbh. The only other time it happened was after a bath while we were still naked, I had fallen asleep and he carried me over to the couch. When I woke up there was white liquid on both of us, and he claimed it was discharge and my fault but even though I didn't know what semen looked like I was pretty sure it was.

I really do appreciate you guys, but they are guidelines. Mods can ban me if showing tits is a rule.

It's shit tbh. I struggle to look in mirrors a lot of the time.

I'm not going to off myself.

I.e. the proper state of mind for a woman.

Good luck OP

Thanks user.

Oh well at least you took the important part from the post you fucking retard

You are the guy I said I'm not going to kill myself to? That's the only part that matters, I don't want people to think I'm going to off myself. The rest was just rude, "he basically did nothing". Fuck off.

>It's shit tbh. I struggle to look in mirrors a lot of the time.

got any history of self harm or risk-taking behaviour? ever find yourself seeking out bad things in life because you think it's what you deserve?

How did he ejaculate? Did he rub his cock on you? Because if he wasn't in physical contact at the time of issue, what you're describing is not a crime.

pretty hot tbh, thanks.

Besides coming on Sup Forums a few times a week I don't self harm.

I'm pretty fucking sure it's illegal to cum on your kids even by accident my dude. In the bath I don't really remember, I was sitting on his lap but all I remember is just feeling it squirt on me. On the couch, I was asleep so idk, but he was definitely in contact with me.

np bby pm me for more

Stay strong OP. I'm sorry he put you through all that abuse, but I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. Take control of your own future.

>I really do appreciate you guys
No you don't. If you did, you'd follow the rules. We offer comfort and succor and only ask one small thing in return. What about our needs?

Thanks user. It's hard to take control when your entire life it feels like you haven't had any, but I'm learning and I promise I'll be okay.

People would just make fun of them. They are pretty saggy and hairy. Not much to look at.

> I never had sex with him that I know of.

Excuse me but I thoughtyou said he abused you?

Please give details as to the abuse.

>taking things pretty serious, because I am not sure if I will kill him, but I want to give myself the best chances should it come to that
>drive my car to an extremely close friends place and basically tell him that he cant ask any questions but I need him to put my car in his garage and I need a lift to airport
>i ask him to make sure to cover the car just incase
>"what car user"
>good mate, has never once let me down
>land in new jersey, nobody knows
>pay in cash for everything
>rent a car, get some ready to eat food and stake out the clinic
>wait in car for like two fucking days
>piss bottles and poop jars
>I am not missing my fucking chance
>about to give up and I see him riding up the block on a bike
>goes into the clinic
>wait
>while I wait I think about what my plan is at this point
>this is where I sort of thought I would just play it by ear
>hes been kicked out of jeffs place at this point, but its only been about a week or two so I know he is either on the street or in a shelter
>see him leave
>hes yelling at the clinic staff, looks like there is some shit going down
>dunno whats up but he starts to leave and i follow
>dude lives under the freeway
>he chills out there for few hours
>fucks off about 11pm
>pretty sure he is off to score some
>figure I will wait
>he comes back
>I am done waiting
>getting pretty antsy and i know I need to face him now or i never will
>i get out of the car and approach

fucking read harder

How did he touch you?

>Not much to look at.
Let us be the judge of that, if you actually DO appreciate Sup Forums.

Seduce your dad, get knocked up and get child support. That'll show him.

I detail some of it here Beyond that, he would touch me pretty often, sometimes in weird ways. When I started growing armpit hair he was very into touching that, it was super weird. At the same time though he told me I was disgusting for having any. He would feel my downstairs as well, but not in a masturbatory way if that makes sense, he would just touch me. Idk.

you're gonna have an interesting relationship with control and power the rest of your life.

It'll be interesting if you end up with control issues and struggle to let others share the burden, or if being in control will feel foreign so you seek out situations where you don't have any.

either way it'll be a fun time

I definitely like being in control more than not having any.

You come to the wrong place for politeness sweet cheeks
Here we're more about actually hard truths that others don't have the bells to tell you.
It's your fault. You fucked up your life. It has nothing to do with your father and you'll probably end up dragging him to court in some stupid ego driven self righteousness and he'll be acquitted due to lack of evidence and all you would have achieved is blowing up your whole family because you're too much of a narcissist to truly realise that your failings are your own and not down to some convenient excuse you can point at.
You were a loser then and you'll be a loser forever because you refuse to help yourself

> I'm 19, it started when I was 9ish and stopped when I was 16.

Did you ever suck his dick?

God how do women make it if just this makes them break down? You're dad's and asshole ghost him. Stop seeking for attention.
t. raped at 11 by and older lady and now worth slight more than a million at 19
Sometimes I feel shitty about it but I manned up and own it.

its a balancing act. If you swing harder towards needing to be in control, you may end up fetishizing not having any. alternatively you may just be unable to enjoy a lack of control because of its links for you.

you'll find out over the next ten years, but as long as you're self aware you can manage it safely.

...

Neurotic bitch

No one cares.

Stop playing therapist.
Firstly you talk about her like she's done ticking timebomb when in reality she's a narcissist who is looking for a wagon to hitch to.
Secondly, you're really fucking bad at it and the you say makes literally no sense at all. You're obviously repeating some psycho babble that a low rent 10 bucks an hour psychologist told you and its not just cliched but its also total garbage

I am speaking from my personal experience user. could be wrong but it applies to me and some others I've spoken to in my situation.

I'm going to go make dinner. Thanks anons for the chat and support, I even had a few laughs which was nice. If anyone is looking for help, RAINN has been a godsend to me.

>pic related, proof I'm OP. Any replied after this are not from me.

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>I never had sex with him that I know of.
>that I know of.
Did you ever wake up with a size 11 asshole?

>Sup Forums
>reddit
this all checks out so far

>TAFE
hows that cert IV in IT working out for you op

>takes our advice and fellowship
>no tits
Yeh, whatever OP. Just use us and leave. Sup Forums is the real victim here.

>dad you caused me alot of child hood trauma when I was younger which left me an emotionally crippled adult
>aha you're so sexy tho

99.999% of the time he wasn't fucking you. Get over yourself.

100% you were a rude bitch in high school.

Everyone's a bit rude.

No one's feelings matter.

You wanna get back at him? Start bashing him up when he is in a nursing home at 70. Give him an unfair fight.

Stop being a whiny bitch on Sup Forums, no one cares

Her mother molested her too, but she likes her, so she chooses to ignore that

The aggression is the joke. The message is not. You have to stop externalising trauma because what you seem to have lost in this whole discussion is that you get to decide.
You get to decide if your father's actions are traumatic. You can decide they weren't, that he was a loser who got his jollies off hitting on 9 year olds and move on. Or you can decide that they were and be victimised and defined by somebody else's actions for the rest of your life.
Sort yourself out first. Get mentally comfortable by visiting a therapist who doesn't completely suck. Try to actively further your career and social goals.
Then when you're in a place of happiness and comfort, you can address your father's actions.
Nobody makes good decisions when they are not thinking straight and, jokes aside, what you've described will be extremely hard to prosecute.
The world will allow you to victimise yourself over this. So will the white knights in this thread. It will consume who you are in your eyes and others.
When we allow ourselves to become victims psychologically then we implicitly tell ourselves that we are able to be victimised through strength or fear and we are weaker than others. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Get better user.
You fucking whore.