Hey, Bob here. I need some guys from 805 to come down here and help me out with the particle accelerator. After the last patch job it's been eating through antimatter like crazy, and I need some help with it. Tier six or so tools should do the job, but we lost ours during the last incident with the rebel group from the east sector. Crazy bastards keep talking about "what's outside the tower."
Bob Heisswager: Grade 3 Maintenance technician
Addendum: Some of the guys have been complaining about weird shapes, voices, shadows, that kinda stuff. Might help everyone calm down if we got a preternatural watchman down here to do a sweep.
ATTENTION ALL CITIZENS !! The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please use the white zone. . Maintenance
Chase Martin
Where's the white zone on floor 0244?
Jim MacDunham, Labor Department
Luis Scott
We need security on the 53rd floor!! The Cannibal Tribe is wreaking havoc!!
~Research and Development
Dylan Watson
I thought everyone below 0212 died out years ago. Are we having another temporal flux? How the Hell is there a time distortion on the messenger?
Employee #75862349 [NAME UNREGISTERED]
Nolan Wood
Damit Jim. How many times do we have to tell you.? Its behind the water purification system on subfloor 0244A. Stop drinking that illegal brewed " beer" made by the mutants of the lobby. . Maintenance
WHICH ONE OF YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS TOOK ALL THE GODDAMN HARDSUITS I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE HAVING ANOTHER THERMAL LANCE JOUSTING TOURNAMENT I AM GOING TO COME DOWN THERE AND PISTOL WHIP EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
Blake Butler
R and D was working on temporal distortions. It is possible, although i thought all knowledge for the research was lost during the calamity of 2099
WHAT THE HELL ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? ALL WE EVER DO IN THE TOWER IS WORK WORK WORK WORK GODDAMN WORK. I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE IOTA OF A SHIT IF THIS IS THE LAST BASTION OF MANKIND, I'M FUCKING TIRED AFTER A LONG DAY YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Jim MacDunham, Labor Department
Michael Bell
>chucklefucks and R & D are in the shitter, probability of shitposting expected to be high.
The tower would like to remind you that graphic imagery is not allowed on the message board. You will be penalized upon further usage.
[SYSTEM]
Jack Perry
Has anyone ever seen or been to the roof? And what's this " outside" my grandfather used to tell me about?
John Green
The Tower would like to remind you that there is no "outside." All mentions of "outside" are false rumors spread by those intent on destroying humanity's last, best hope for the future and disrupting the harmony of the Tower.
Remember the Tower is home, and the Tower is life. Any further mentions will result in penalties, and the assistance of a reeducation squad.
[SYSTEM]
Lincoln Richardson
Oh Christ, alright I'll be cool. For the love of the Tower, please don't make me go back, please please please
Jim MacDunham, Labor Department
Gavin Carter
Herecy !!! Nothing like this exists
Aiden Cox
Oh the poor bastards... I hear there are still corpses on all levels sub 0106...
Couldn't get through all the rubble to drag them out and give them a proper cremation.
Henry White
ATTENTION !! Any unauthorized use of unregistered and unlicensed rape dwarves is strictly forbidden. All and any such cases will be dealt with severly.. . Security
Sebastian Murphy
Floor 0001 reporting in.
Don't fucking come down here. Nobody needs to see what's on the outside. If the crew spots anyone escaping we will "save" you.
Nicholas Hall
Henry, get off the messenger, and get back to scrubbing the damn floor.
And don't try to claim it isn't you. you don't want to know what happens to people who get "fired" on floor 0476.
James Yesh, Management
Caleb Howard
>Floor 0001
We all know any floor below 300 is fairytale. You gonna start talking about boogeymen or trees next?
Logan Sullivan
What is this?
John Roberts
Come up to 936 and take it from us then, Randy. THERMAL LANCING WILL LIVE ON
Parker Collins
why does floor 0773 have a zero at the front but 805 doesnt
The dimensional rift with a similar universe. If you see anyone who looks identical to you. DO NOT TOUCH THEM.
Cooper Taylor
Probably just shorthand, man. Don't get so bogged down on how someone else types.
Yang Xianyong, Technician
Asher Campbell
Don't trust the Chink. Their hidin shit somewhere in them there commie science floors.
Tommy "Bubba" Hickton - PATRIOT
Cameron Rogers
Andy here, just finished the sweep on levels 800-805. A minor breach of shadow demons from dimension delta 44.3; nothing out of the ordinary
Dave Weiss: Inter dimensional containment
Joseph Hernandez
Thanks Dave, just make your way down here when you can, people are getting more amped up by the minute.
Hell, I'm even starting to think there's actually something around here.
Bob Heiswagger: Grade 3 Maintenance technician
Evan Flores
I dropped a ball* from the balcony on 400, then someone said they saw a ball fall past just yesterday, then again about half an hour later. I checked and sure enough; it's the same orange ball coming from above. We timed it, you see it every 29 min and 11 seconds. How come no one who ever jumped has done that? Lots of other stuff must have been dropped down the centre of the tower too and we don't see it again.
*got it from out of a broken toilet cistern; it's been dry for decades/centuries/parsecs
William Thomas
Oh look, another one of those guys big into old Amerigo culture.
Georg Wastoe died centuries ago, and the Rights Bill isn't even in effect in the Tower. I bet you don't even have a smuggled gun you gay Larper.
Liam Johns: Floor 1027 Janitor
Connor Ward
But the 0773 and 803 were the same person you dickhead. -The alcoholic asain crematorium worker.
Anthony Cook
YOU HAVE A FUCKING BALCONY? I'M COMING UP THERE NOW!!
Dave again, reporting from level 0773 I'm gonna need back up. We're dealing with a code orange maybe even a code red, it's too early to tell, any who I need back up pronto
Dave Weiss: Inter dimensional containment
William Hall
>But the 0773 and 803 were the same person What? Bob said he needed a team from 805 but he never said that he was from 803, or 805. Are you drunk?
Yang Xianyong, Technician
Brayden Price
0299 reporting in. the higher you go the safer it gets. we're trying to get out of here. do not, i repeat, DO NOT go lower. those guys are serious. -lone survivor
Easton Cook
I'm on the same floor as you motherfucker ill show you how much of a larper my double barreled shotty is.
Tommy "Bubba" Hickton - PATRIOT
Hunter Nelson
SEND HELP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, THERE'S A [̟̣̹̖͕̜̯͍̠͔͜͞Ŕ̢͙̗͖̤̙̜͍̖̙͍̘͔̳̯͈ͅͅe͙̠͎̭͓̱̖̗̱͞͠d̸̡̮͔͖̫a̷̢̡̝̻̫͉̺͈̮̝̗̯̪̗͎̺̟̮͠c̵͉̦͉̺̕͠t̠͈̼̟̦̭̺̙̙̭̕͟͡e͇͙͍̳̩̠͍͖̱̰̺͎͘ͅd̶̡̘̤̣͓̙͎̟̯]̶̴̵̤̜̠̟̬̱̟͍̖͟͡ ON OUR FLOOR AND IT'S S̨̛̘̞̰͖̘͍̘̮̞̀u̦̥̹͙͝͝r̺̮̯̘͙̫͈r̷̵̢̫̺͍̬̭e̵̤̟͡ń̶̙̮͎̣̫͢d̢͈̞̫͉e͙̗͎͢r̶͖̙̗̘̫ͅ ̸͔̠̭͖̥̟̞̳́t̝̮̹͝o̢̝̩̪̪͟͡ ̹̮̠̖ṱ̥͍̻͕̥́ͅh̢̯̼̟̠̜͔͞e̞͚̮͈̺ ̯̜͙̱́͜h̗̞̭̥̺̮͝i̗͍͕̳̟̰ͅv̸͉͍̬̮e̢̤͍͍̠̬͡m͚̟̫̖̺̬̖̟̳i̻̫͎̦̝̮͎ṇ̪͙̩̼̗̕̕ḍ́ ̷̞͝ͅ ͇̗̥̯͠Y̵̦͍̹̺͠͝ͅo̡̥̦͕͙̳̺͠u̢͈̰̦̥ ̵͈̱̮̖̖̞͡͝ẃ̧̼̮̖̠í̟̝̖̦͖͠l̷͚̹͔͕̘̰̟l͇̺͔͖͔̻̜̳̀ ̘͓͎͚͠k͓̣̩͞n̳͝ó̵̘̯̥̙̮͉̣ͅw̤̠͔̟̟͉ͅ ̥͎̮̬̳̼͍n͍͇̕͡o̩̳͚̮̪̣͟͜ ̯̺p̡͖̳a̠̫̰̭̹̪ͅi̱̞̺̦̗n̸͉̺̖̥̜͔ͅ ̟̩̺̩ ͉̠͈̻͖́͟N̘̜͚͎̥̤͢o͓͓ ̷̞͚̫̮̥̦̺͙̙s̸͇͝o̴̦͉̦̮͎̫̬r̛̮̦̣͘͠r̴̰̕o̴̡̯̪̦w̰̖̩̦̗͎ ̖̟̻ ̮̱͎̪͈R̡͍͎̹̙͎̱̞e͕̮͖͘͠v̩̬̣̰̱̘̖̞͟ȩ̺̙̩̫͇͕̬l̬̙̳̮̖͞͞ ̞̹͓̕ḭ̡̼̗̘̖̥̪͍́n̴̷͕̬̪̹̫̠ ̟̫͙̙͡͠͡ǫ̜̀͟u̪̥̺̯͚̬̰͜͞ṟ̴̖̳͔͕͎͢ ̺̙b͕̤̗̜̞̭ṛ͖͍͘͞͠i̪͎͖̭̺ḽ̶̺̹͚̪l̷͉̞̩̪͓̝͘͡ị͓̙̤͈̥͔̯ḁn̸̦͖͕͙̩̪̰̳͢c̵͈̖̭̪͞e͓̗̼͈̕
Floor [System Error]
Gabriel Kelly
Everyone one in the god damn crematorium is either drunk or high 24/7 it's fucking miserable in there. Especially crematorium 7, Christ, that place is a fucking dump
Kevin Reyes
Employee #097863
Please do not spread false rumors on the message boards. Remember, cohesion and singular purpose are our greatest strengths in the Tower
[SYSTEM]
Josiah Wright
Im not drunk your drunk, everyone knows how much you like you're fermented poop wine. - I sleep in the air vent more than I'd like to admit.
Caleb Mitchell
Nice job faggot, I sent an email and sec knows about your "shotty." Expect a visit momentarily.
Liam Johns: Floor 1027 Janitor
Logan James
CODE BLACK ON 0773 I REPEAT CODE BLACK ON 0773! OH THE HUMANITY! DEAR GOD SOMEONE PLEASE SEND HELP
Dave Weiss: Inter dimensional containment
Carter Jackson
You ever wonder how we keep finding all these cans of "premium meats" after one of those cults on the higher floors commit mass suicide?
Oscar Preston - Mortician
Lucas Diaz
Wait, the ball is getting faster. I mean it must have reached it's fastest dropping speed ages ago, but it's somehow faster. It still goes past us exactly every 29 minutes, 11 seconds, but does so faster.
James Boen, Grade 2 Hydroponics Assistant
Mason Cooper
Message from Floor 0812
I need a status report, I've got twenty men standing by but we need to know what we're dealing with so we can gear up properly.
Dan Harkin: Chief of Security
Liam Fisher
Call and egghead from sector E2 West. I think that's the physics department.
Timothy Greene: Security Officer
Christopher Parker
The tower gives me bodys to chop up and burn in exchange for moonshin with questions asked. Sometimes a limb or two go missing i mean who hasn't done business with cannibal cults.
Got one with me, she's the one that told my about the ball. She needed me to confirm it was the same one I dropped.
She reckons the Tower doesn't go straight up or down, it loops round and- *BZZT*
James Hall
Oh shit, oh shit oh shit oh fuck fuck fuck
The Tower is Life, The Tower is Love, it is our Last, Best hope. There is nothing outside the Tower, the Tower is all pleasepleaasepleasepleaseplease God no
[User's access to the intra-company message board has been revoked]
Christopher Robinson
Well basically floor 53 and 54 now belong to the cannibals.
>shoenice What kinda name is that? You into feet or something?
Kayden Lopez
I SAW THE OUTSIDE!!!! IT WAS VAST!
Matthew Rodriguez
Employee #572836
Please make note that a reeducation squad has been dispatched to your location.
Have a nice day
[SYSTEM]
William Campbell
77 Of the worst kind of shadow demon. Ammo is running low and we've suffered 12 casualties and 4 injuries and 6 cases of psychosis. Supplies are in dire need as well as a body disposal unit and a few medics
Dave Weiss: Inter dimensional containment
Sebastian Brooks
Ohhhh can't wait to chop you up because I fell down two floors of stairs and spilt all my moonshine.
- I watch you all sleep and poop from the vents.
Nathan Harris
Hold the line Weiss. We've been authorized tier 2 photonic resonators and standard ballistics. I'll put in a word for supplies once the AO is clear. Sit tight.
