*sharts*

*sharts*

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/Rtjf3P--owI
youtu.be/d6z3VBOvDL4
youtu.be/B2BL7eTRy9o
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>is almost tripping over herself the whole special

This is funny, but not for the reason she intends. Or maybe is was her intention.

Imagine her peeling that leather thing off after the show.

she looks like she smells really, REALLY bad

>that sweat drip
some things can't be unseen

>*40% of america erupts in laughter*

I see Amy Schumer as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman who, in every single aspect, is absolutely revolting - her exterior AND her personality - yet I can't help but wonder what would be like, to plunge balls-deep into her repeatedly.

That's right. Balls-deep. With no protection.

I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily-hard while typing this. I want to grab this... thing... and that's what Amy Schumer is, let's not delude ourselves, a "thing"... by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot, while she makes stupid faces and contorts orgasmically, unable to control her bodily reactions even if she wanted to.

I would erupt violently inside that corrupt and corrupting womb as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of her ovaries, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating the Antichrist, as our combined, guttural, Chewbacca-like roars shattered glass and walls alike around us, the house toppling down while we lay there in a filthy, disgusting mess.

Yeah. I reckon Amy Schumer does it for me.

>Has millions of dollars
>Can't afford a personal trainer
>Can't afford a better outfit designer
Her body is fucking disgusting. Like I would give her a pass if she had 2 kids but she's a single millionaire with no kids, there's no reason her her to have the body of a bag of rice.

All part of the show, my man.

This video is better than her entire special and career

youtu.be/Rtjf3P--owI

Also Sunny deserves credit for predicting this special exactly

youtu.be/d6z3VBOvDL4

I don't really understand all the hate directed toward Amy Schumer recently,
and I think people could be a bit more genital, before fingering the blame.
I mean come on guys, cheese a real solid Babe just trying her saggy breast to
slob it out, and become a giant in the cunt-throat world of comedy.
Did it heifer once occur to you that Amy is merely trying to steak her clam
in this male dominated arena, and comedy can be a rocky road if not executed
potbelly.
Many feel she deserts a good roasting and try and plump her in with the
likes of Carlos Mencia, but fail to realize many others would apple crumble
under the constant pressure to be funny and original.
If you want to pork about a woman touched by the ham of the almighty, look
no further than Amy Schumer to be the bacon of shining light for those who
want to trot in her footsteps.
If you guys could stop being big pussies and just meat her halfway I'm
sure she'd steal your hearts and you'd have a real whale of a time.
People need to face fats that Amy's going to be round for many years,
and is baking no prisoners on her way into the anal of history.

its mostly her shit opinions and holier-than-thou attitude, combined with her complete lack (and theft) of talent

*queefs*

dude vaginas LMAO

Amy "General Fatton" Schumer
Amy "Apocalypse Cow" Schumer
Amy "The Guns Of Provolone" Schumer
Amy "Sandwiches Of Iwo Jima" Schumer
Amy "The Fat Patrol" Schumer
Amy "A-Pack-Of-Chips Now!" Schumer
Amy "McHale's Gravy" Schumer
Amy "U-571lbs" Schumer
Amy "Zero Talks Dirty" Schumer
Amy "Arby's Macht Fries" Schumer
Amy "They Were Expandable" Schumer
Amy "The Dirty Dozen Doughnuts" Schumer
Amy "The Battle of the Bulge" Schumer
Amy "G*A*S*H" Schumer
Amy "The Big Fed One" Schumer
Amy "Hack Saw A Fridge" Schumer
Amy "Waddlecanal" Schumer
Amy "Hamburger Shill" Schumer
Amy "All Quiet On the Weightloss Front" Schumer
Amy "Sergeant Pork" Schumer
Amy "M*A*S*H*E*D" Schumer
Amy "A Few Good Menus " Schumer
Amy "The Dessert Fox" Schumer
Amy "Cookie Jarhead" Schumer
Amy "Band Of Blubbers" Schumer
Amy "Schindler's Grocery List" Schumer
Amy "Dumbkike" Schumer
Amy "Ham Hock Down" Schumer
Amy "Pearl Heartburn" Schumer
Amy "Flags Of Our Fatties" Schumer
Amy "Behind Enemy Swines" Schumer
Amy "G.I. Hoe" Schumer
Amy "Three Burger Kings" Schumer
Amy "Tora Tora Tora my pants" Schumer

There's some comedy gold in this thread.

Which is ironic considering it's a thread about Any Schumer.

>not "steal your farts"
apply yourself

>Piggy Stardust

kek

R.I.P to the entire herd of cows who were sacrificed to make that outfit

WTF happened to her? When she first got famous she was a chipmunk cheeked cutie then she turned into a planet.

what a mess. disgusting and shameful.

God damn it. You know, I really tried to like her or at least not hate her. But she almost does this shit on purpose. You know people will already be judging you for your body, but still wear the most unflattering leather outfit you could find? You know people are already thinking you're a thief/hack, but still do fart jokes and "muh vagina" for the majority of the act? She's like the weird autistic kid in high school that you try to help out and bring into your group but he can't stop bringing up memes every day. She's you, Sup Forums.

You know, it's funny you ask that. Well user, "why did Amy Schumer become famous while many better comedians didn't" happened long before you and I were even born. At the birth of the studio system, Jews, realizing the propaganda potential, began to either create their own studios or steal others (Paramount is a fine example - originally created and owned by William Wadsworth Hodkinson, a non-Jew, it was merged with the Jewish owned Famous Players Lasky, who then used controlling interests to oust Hodkinson and replace him with Jew Adolph Zukor. Paramount is worth over 800 billion, today.)

The Jews would use Hollywood as means to financial success, political power and influence, continuously placing Jews to be their successors in power so that the studios remained firmly in their hands. As time went on they would place more Jews into the spotlight - some of the earliest stars being Kirk Douglas (born Issur Danielovitch), or Hedy Lamarr (born Hedwig Kiesler), normalizing the presence of this minute minority in American daily lives.

Through Hollywood the Jews would spread social liberalism and Marxist ideals, mold American opinion, and finance their own nation. Amy "Seven cows died for my Leather Special outfit" is just another reiteration of this, only now the American public seems to be finally getting sick of the Jewish presence in their lives.

>amy is fat because jews
damn is there anything these guys cant do?

You forgot:
Amy "Feed Me" Schumer
Amy "5 Pounds Per Second" Schumer
Amy "House of Flying Burgers" Schumer
Amy "Crouching Hotdog, Hidden Burger" Schumer

youtu.be/B2BL7eTRy9o

How the fuck does she manage to look like the pouty ass pepe.

Is making stupid faces supposed to be funny? Was her special for 5 year olds?

She's absolutely disgusting

Maybe Jews are just wildly successful in all forms of media, finance, and whatever else because despite being only 2% of the American population they uh, like have really high IQ's, which happen to be the same average as middle class white America who conveniently aren't nearly is over represented!!! uh, hmm. Probably antisemitism I guess!

I love this board and website

The choice of clothing and her body type isn't coincidental, she did it on purpose to make people grimace.

Close, but it's women. Seriously I wish all women would go extinct and that the planet was only inhabited by males.

I just want you to know I laughed at your filename, op.