Check into movie theatre

>check into movie theatre
>forgot to make a reservation
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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>Didn't make a cinema reservation
>Popcorn salesman asks me what kind of table I'll be needing since there's not many left
>"J-Just a table for one please"
>Everyone turns and looks at me funny
The waiter even brought me two popcorns to my table in the isle just because they don't do orders for one. Such bullshit.

i literally have reservations to see Fate of the Furious tonight

got two to get around the no singles policy

>didn't pass the theatre drug test
>don't even get a refund
>still have to tip the theatre doctor
I hate living in Guam

Honestly making a seat reservation in advance is amazing.

Get the best seat[s] in the house and anyone who says otherwise gets kicked the fuck out.

>tfw still working in the coal mines for failing the penis inspection
I hid my phone up my ass so i could shitpost but I think they're on to me

>Don't make reserve ticket
>wagie gives me ticket with a random seat.
>as soon as i get in ignore my designated seat and go sit in the expensive premium seats
i do this every time.

>show up at Dorsia
>forgot to check these dubs

Hey user, I think you forgot to bring dubs. Have mine
7

>show up early to take a pre-movie shower
>theatre doesn't even have showers

Where the fuck do you live?

i hate when that happens

lmao europoors

>Walk up to ticket bitch
> Slap my hand down and inquire 2 tickets for latest power ranger kino
-sorry sir did you make a reservation
> all og a sudden shocked and ask why
> she says that only front row seats are left.
> have to wait whole hour for next showing to get back row sest

Bloody hell mates what's with this crap. It used to be I could show up 5 mins before showtime and slio into first seat I see

A civilized world

true story time

>get invited to watch Superman vs Batman
>setting next to my friend
>on the other side sits a fat neckbeard
>as the movie progresses the fat man slowly edges to the end of the seat
>this movie has his full attention
>as the YOURE LETTING HIM KILL MARTHA scene happens
>hear clear sobs and this guy tearing up
>he also clapped as the only one for a brief couple seconds when credits rolled

>get excited
>about this fucking flick
yeah ok lmao

What civilized world doesn't have theatre showers? You trundle into the auditoriums to watch kino still caked in filth and grime!

>go to movie alone
>"all singles please step into the photo booth for analysis"
>que moving slowly
>single men enter booth for half a minute. Then they are led away to separate corridors
>my turn
>its dark in the booth. musty.
>sudden blinding flash
>an image of me appears on the left, and what appears to be me on the right as a woman is generated.
>"not bad. Take this one to the makeup room"

Quite an ingenuous solution really

A civilized world where everyone has shower at their home and don't have to share it others like dirty commie.

>go to theatre arcade
>all the machines are sticky/buttery and don't work

You all think I'm meme, but my theatre legitimately has an arcade

most cineplex theatres I go to do

t. filthmonger

What do kids do now

I go to movies a few weeks after they come out.
Don't need to make a reservation and no loud mouthed knuckle draggers shitting up the movie

Admit it user, the only reason why you wait so long is so you can go alone and no one recognizes you there, everything else is just an excuse.

atleast that's why I do it

No. I could go to movies with friends if I wanted. I prefer to go alone because I go to the movies to watch movies. Not to sit next friend.

Why? If you go alone you can't go to the cinema salad bar and meet qt girls

My theater isn't good enough to have a salad bar

>check into theatre, pre movie penis inspection
>cum

>check into theatre
>settle back to enjoy the show
>sex scene starts
>become slightly uncomfortable
>remember I'm not in a theatre but watching my neighbors from up a tree using high powered binoculars

>empty theatre at ime of reserving my seat
>get inside and sit down
>realize i hate my seat so decide to move
>just before movie starts people start trickling in"
>some coming near my seat
>tell myself ill tell them to fuck off if someone says im in their seat
>no one bothers me

heh.. i woulda liked to see em' try ..

I anyways grab a seat in the back corner so I can keep an eye on everyone. If I hear people talking or checking their phones I take a picture and send it to Charlie, he's the head of kinoplex security. For every 5 people I bust I get a voucher for half off popcorn.

swaglord? more like FAGLORD!

youtu.be/JBx-vydxfKU

Shia is that you?