Just lost my virginity to a whore, probably gonna hero tomorrow, whats a good last meal?

Just lost my virginity to a whore, probably gonna hero tomorrow, whats a good last meal?

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buy a few bottles of protein pills for meal substitution and shit pills. eat whatever else you want with it like a pizza with nothing but cheese and chicken. drink as much water as you can tolerate then kill yourself. You'll shit your own bodyweight by the time they find you

Don't do it :(

blow your money on spaghetti and tacos
with fuck ton of water
or a kebab

i love this turkish shit it's my favorite

Oof

for the rest of the day watch trailer park boys, drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, eat tasty chips / pizza / cheeseburgers. youll feel much better tomorrow and probably wont want to kys

there's no point in stopping so ig do it in an epic way like in a shootout or some shit

Tendies and dip.

get some pcp and see if you can run yourself to death

Dunno man I never thought I would be desperate and horny enough to fuck a prostitute and lose my virginity to her. It was rather awkward and she wasn't even hot. I can't live with that.

Should have fucked your sister instead, it's not like you will have to live with consequences.

such a strange and angry direction to go with this. I see literally no insult directed at you

get another whore. a real gross one. then tell her you like reverse cowgirl. blow your brains out while she's riding you and not looking.

>bonus leave a fucked up note for the cops to find

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youve a healthy sex drive. real men fuck whoever they want, real men fuck dogs if they want. only children stop and reflect if "that thing I put my dick in" was pretty enough for me. youre a man now, start acting like it. go grab a beer and relax. men live for dopamine and testosterone and not giving a shit; women live for feelings and giving a shit and being pretty/clean. you should be proud of yourself

>strange and angry direction
??? What are you some sort of non-family lusting weirdo?

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GOT MEMES ON MEMES ON MEMES ON MEMES. U MEME ON ME I MEME ON U

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make it real fucked up tho. say you have some shit on hillary or epstein and throw everyone for a loop. bonus points if you post it somewhere it will be seen before you go

>also obligitory "don't do it'
>life does get better

why? who cares if you lost it to a whore, its just sex its nothing special or are you one of these fucking simp faggots that thinks ''the first time should be with someone special''
Honestly you should do an hero for being such a faggot.

actually opposite
and i'm pretty sure you know that too
you sick fuck

not at all. dude needs some feel good chemicals, addictions may kill in the long term but they keep you glued to life in the short term

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Is that really what an "americano" coffee is? I've never bought coffee from anywhere before as i just brew my own like a normal human adult

Yeah they just give coffee weird name's to fuck with people I guess.

i guess. Shit how do you order a black coffee out of your own thermos? a He-Brew?

>He-Brew
Lol that's good you should offer one to a co-worker next time.

my co-worker drinks his coffee strong irish he'd just find it funny or confusing

don't kill yourself. lift instead. go run a mile.
eat a healthy meal that you cooked yourself.
admire the things that you accomplished during the day.

then do it again tomorrow.

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>He'd just find it funny
Good, just tell him you are out of expresso and Americano all you have left is he-brew and offer him one.

rgr wilco

No. americano is a shot of espresso, diluted with hot water

So you dilute super concentrated coffee to make regular coffee? Isn't that what I said, it's just black coffee with a weird name?

he was trying to make a joke but i'm assuming he's german and has no actual sense of humor

espresso beans are not the same as coffee beans.

Probably not

Implying losing your virginity as a dude even means anything. You don't have a hymen user, calm down

So you bust a nut and want to eat McDonald and kill yourself.

You need to make this into a movie. Because no one on earth has ever said or done that before.

I did this once. I only shit about half my body weight.

Source: I didn't die so I saw my chicken pizza shit.

black coffee is hot water poured over ground coffee beans. americano is a pre made coffee syrup diluted with water. I suppose yea theyre both essentially black coffee in a way tho

its fun being a maximum tier shitter tho

If at first you don't succeed...

Based

you just sound retarded like a snooty european

Start posting a SHITTON of messages on all your social media about how Epstein didn't kill himself, you have video and audio proof. The Clinton's are involved and you're fearing for your life, offer to send out a deadman's key, crazy shit like that. Then once you kys, it's just one more pile onto the Clinton Body Count.

you have to be crazy to believe the sky is blue and water is wet now. Incredible...

are you crying? its okay, its only coffee

Do it OP and livestream it

ya straight crying boi u hurt muh feels

28 pounds of rainbow goldfish

Tea is a white/yellow man's drink only Arabs and merkins drink coffee.

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Be patient life is long imo contrary to what we are told. After a while it won’t bother you nearly as much if not at all

if you say so retard

>cringe

You sound like you have no experience with any of these things, just read a magazine from the 1950s and called yourself an expert.

drumpf is getting the axe idiot. have fun crying for the next 4 years cuckserviative.

anydaynow.npcfile

what? lol

>types out nonsense instead of posting the actual picture
back to r/dtheonald with u

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Nope. The US imports 12 times the amount of tea Europe does put together

dont kill yourself fag
at least go out oding on coke or something

>NPC screeching continues

delicious oolong tea

and you sound like a woman, so show us your tits and a timestamp or kindly get the fuck out

Opting out of the great adventure that is life is just silly. You should at least see it to it's natural conclusion, it might have a surprise ending.

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Get a six pac of beer.
turn on netflix.
you will feel better tomorrow.

OP I'm with Don't off yourself.
That's a waste. Start a cult, hoared some weapons or something fucking wild like that.
Live remotely in a forest, take hullucinagenics & shit. If you're willing to rage quit life you obviously don't care for it, so enter a cheat mode & just go bananas

Your harbours must need to be dredged alot.

u have no idea. it makes a million mile trip just to get tossed overboard

>Shoot up a school.

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why kys when you can take out that anger on whatever it is in the world that made you feel like this

if you're that willing to throw everything away it makes sense to take some cunts with you at least

almost everyone lost virginity to a whore

Hey user while i believe that everyone should do their own shit, I hate to see a fellow user kill himself, whats the trouble? sad you did it with her? hey at least you got to do it. I cant stop you from an hero but I do encourage you to rethink it, find your happy place and relax. Also hot pocket.

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i'm contemplating suicide. Any one know of some painless quick deaths? I had the idea of shoving pills up my ass so i wont throw them up.

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>Hot pocket
Your image shows 3fingers... Is it me or is this a sex joke?

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> I had the idea of shoving pills up my ass so i wont throw them up.

I do the same thing with Brussel sprout every Christmas dinner, I hate sprouts.

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Steak buddy. Get a loaded baked potato with it. If the place has good rolls eat up.

Fuck, you made me lol