>Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids? We went on wild adventures together for over 3 years in the Clone Wars, and the little one even saved me from a swarm of buzz droids, yet I somehow don't recognize them anymore. They were good friends.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that while your father was training on Coruscant, C-3PO served your family (Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Grandma Shmi, Grandpa Cliegg) for nearly 10 years? Somehow, your uncle didn't recognize Threepio when he returned to family's service.
>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you that all Jedi used to dress like homeless moisture farmers the same as I do, despite that still dressing like a Jedi is no good way to hide from Empire? It was a good robe though.
>Come here, Luke, today we will be training with this practice droid while you wear this helmet to blindfold yourself. You would think this was an impromptu training procedure, but no, we did this to younglings all the time and even built them special mini helmets. Right now you are literally worse than a child, Luke, like the ones your father killed with that lightsaber you are holding. He was a good friend.
>You must go to Dagobah, Luke, and seek out Yoda, the Jedi Master who trained me — well, actually, he's A Jedi Master who trained me. Before I moved up to Liam Neeson's service, I was one of the 20 younglings who went to Yoda's class every tuesday and thursday back in youngling school inbetween Jedi chemistry class and lunchtime. Nothing remarkable or mystic to our relationship at all. He was just my teacher who handed out droids and youngling-sized helmets to the class. Also, all his deep seemingly spur of the moment lessons and teachings from a true master are all fairly common Jedi sayings that he just butchers with his ghetto way of talking. A good friend, he was.
Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids...
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It never gets old
>that last one
Every time
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the value of the high ground? No, no, not the moral high ground--that's the path to the Dark Side--but the actual physical high ground in a combat situation. You literally cannot defeat a man who stands on a more elevated patch of ground than his own. I once had a sparring match with your father that ended with me on the advantage. He attempted to reach a higher position than I, but I took initiative and removed both of his legs and an arm and watched him tumble into close proximity to molten magma. I expressed my disappointment and told him I loved him. His crisping flesh smelled like a finely roasted duck. He was a good fr-
>WHAT'S A DUCK BEN?
All George had to do was watch his own fucking movies and take notes.
It's obviously what M. Night Shyamalan did when he made Split.
>Luke did I ever tell you about the time your father and I massacred a town of gooks? I still see their faces when I sleep at night.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time Ziro the Hutt was brutally murdered by Sy Snootles? Hold on one goddamn second, Luke, I'll explain who that is! Ziro the Hutt was the brother of Jabba the Hutt, and was imprisoned by the Republic during the Clone Wars following a foiled kidnapping plot in which he conspired with Count Dooku to ransom Jabba's son, Rotta. I'll explain Dooku later, Luke! Anyway, the notorious bounty hunter and big guy Cad Bane took the senate hostage and freed Ziro, only to bring him back to the Hutts who put him in prison. Ziro exploited the affection of Sy Snootles, some sort of blowjob alien who sings good songs at Jabba's Palace along with a blue elephant and a CGI dog-man, and had her break him out, and the two escaped into the swamps, to the abode of Mama the Hutt, Ziro’s grotesque mother, who provided him with a starship so he could travel to Teth. Are you keeping up, Luke? Pay attention, Teth is key to all this! Anyways, Ziro was in possession of information important to the Republic, so I teamed up with Jedi Master Quinlan Vos, who was like a black version of The Dude, and we odd-coupled our way through this mission. We crossed paths with Cad Bane, but he proved too much of a big guy for us, and escaped. I guess there wasn't enough time in the episode for us to figure out where Ziro was, so in the end Sy Snootles gunned him down and took his holo-diary and we never worried about any of that shit again.
>Ziro was a good friend. Sy still is a good friend. Cad Bane was not, and may no longer be, a good friend.
>Luke, come over here a moment. Power down the jedi training ball, there's something you need to know. Luke, have I ever told you about SuperShadow? SuperShadow is the alias of a Star Wars fan who ran SuperShadowdotcom, a holosite that fabricated insider knowledge and claimed that SuperShadow was a good friend of George Lucas, and one of the leading Star Wars fan experts in history. According to a Whois search on GoDaddy, the SuperShadow domain is owned by Mickey Suttle. Despite the valid domain name, the holosite has since gone offline.
>When the holosite was online, SuperShadow would often post so-called Star Wars news, images, FAQs, spoilers, and even plot outlines for future Star Wars films, many of which he claimed originated from George Lucas. This led to enough controversy that Lucasfilm's Pablo Hidalgo commented in Star Wars Insider 90, released in October 2006, that SuperShadow had "absolutely no relationship with Lucasfilm or George Lucas" and that the information on the site "are complete fabrications." Hidalgo also revealed that Lucasfilm had "taken action against the site several times when it" solicited money from fans "under false pretenses."
>He was a charlatan, and no good friend of mine.
>It was a good robe though
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Force Fumble? The Force Fumble was a Jedi technique developed by Grand Master Xte Urs in the year 11,759BBY[1]. It entailed the purposeful fumbling or accidental slipping of the Jedi's hand on the hilt of their lightsaber. The Jedi would then use the Force the adjusted this uncoordinated motion to target, allowing them to verify their continued connection to the Force. [2] The technique came into controversy though, as the slight time it took to use the Force Fumble and readjust was causing many Jedi to be killed by blaster bolts they otherwise may have deflected, or even Sith warriors who ere faster on the draw to make the killing blow. [3][4] As such, the technique fell out of practice, though some Jedi such as Semti Ro-Pahn, I-473H, and most famously, Qui Gonn Jinn, still made use of its Force affirming capabilities into later eras. [5]
>starwars.wikia.com
>Luke, did I ever tell you about FaceApp?
Was Obi Wan a liar or just senile?
Neither, the prequels aren't canon.
A goddamn liar.
>Luke, did I ever tell you how I killed Darth Maul two weeks ago?
The young one is spot on.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about breasts. Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species and some reptomammals, and were normally a distinguishing feature of the female of the species. Males did have breasts, but they were far less developed than their female counterparts due to the sexual dimorphism. In some cultures, sentient females nursed their own young. This was true of both primitive planetary societies like Dathomir, where the warrior-women of the Singing Mountain Clan would feed their children even during solemn councils of war,[1] and high-tech interstellar civilization: Leia Organa Solo nursed her twins for some time[2] and Mara Jade Skywalker nursed her son Ben until he was a few months old.[3] Even Tenel Ka Djo, Queen Mother of the Hapes Consortium, nursed her daughter Allana herself.[4]Alternative techniques of feeding infants did exist, as the TDL nanny droid could store up to two liters of milk internally.[5] Other sentient species retained strong breastfeeding traditions as well: female Wookiees had six breasts, which they used to nurse their litters of cubs.[6] Askajian females also had six breasts,[7] while Gran females had three.[8]As male individuals were not biologically meant to nurse their offsprings, they sported much smaller breasts and produced no milk. Mandalore the Lesser (then a gladiator),[9] Aron Peacebringer (a planetary leader)[10], and Anakin Skywalker (in certain circumstances, such as on Nelvaan) would freely exhibit them. The males in primitive cultures would also go barechested in their young adulthood and childhood, such as the Nelvaanians.[11] Also, males would go barechested to allow freedom of mobility or body temperature, as exhibited by the Whiphid Jedi Master K'Kruhk,[12] Galen Marek while on Felucia,[13], the Korun leader Kar Vastor on Haruun Kal,[14] or Ki-Adi-Mundi when training in his youth.[15] Some males, such as Anakin Skywalker[16] and Corran Horn would also sleep barechested for comfort.
>Luke have I clued you in on chairs, yet?
>Chairs are pieces of furniture humanoids can sit in. Like many objects in the galaxy, chairs also function temporarily as ad hoc weapons. Some of them are even made of wood, a fascinating material I'll tell you of on the way to Alderaan. Han Solo, the man we're about to meet when we arrive at Mos Eisley, is said to own a chair considered to be the most comfortable chair ever designed. I'm sure it's a good friend.
Luke, did I ever tell you that I go hard in the mu'fuckin' paint nigga
Leave you stankin' nigga
What the fuck you thinkin' nigga
I wont die for this shit
Or what the fuck I say (Brick Squad)
Front yard broad day wit da S.K. (ba ba ba ba ba ba bow)
See Gucci, that's my mothafuckin' nigga
And a good friend
top kek
I love how wookiepedia phrases shit in the past tense, like the whole universe was destroyed when it was written.
Maybe they know more about Episode IX than we do
Star Wars: Reckoning of the Force
>wookiepedia phrases shit in the past tense
The movie opens with "A long time ago", wiki nerds don't let anything get past them.
Does anyone have the one with Jango and Zam?
>yet somehow I don't recognize them
Didn't he specifically say he remembered R2?
you got me
>Luke did I ever tell you about the time your fathers padawan, a young female Togruta named Ahsoka Tano, was accused of treason? I tried to convince the Jedi counsel to side with her but they refused. After we stripped her of her rank of Jedi, we found out she was innocent but she didn't want to rejoin the order. A few years later your father killed her. She was a good friend.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about elves?
...
>I thought not, it's not a story a moisture farmer would tell you. Elves were a sentient species of small, winged humanoids with gray skin, broad heads and pointed ears. A number of elves were in the employ of the crime lord Papa Toren. Those individuals would translate Toren's otherwise unintelligible mumbles to his discussion partners and, if necessary, protect him from harmElves first appeared along with Papa Toren first issue of the Marvel comic book miniseries Star Wars: Lando, which was written by Charles Soule and illustrated by Alex Maleev. They made their next appearance in the fifth issue of the comic book series Star Wars: Poe Dameron, also written by Soule, with art by Phil Noto. Although the species' name was not revealed in either story, Soule has revealed that he calls those creatures "elves" in his scripts.
>Oh, pardon me Luke. I didn't see you standing there. Well, now that you're here, have I told you about jizz?
>I thought not. Jizz was an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo Band. Other notable jizz bands included Bobolo Baker's All-Bith Band, Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers, Hutt, Figrin D'an II and the New Modal Nodes, and The Sozzenels.
>Subgenres of jizz included jizz-wail, aubade, and glitz. Also, the music form jatz was reminiscent of, or in some ways similar to, jizz.
LOOOL I love this meme
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time your daddy stood directly at my head and brushed his balls back and forth across my nose with each abdominal thrust. I opened my eyes to see his light blue bikini brush over my nose, he had taken his sweatpants off when getting the oil from the cabinet. I could smell his precum soaked briefs as my tongue slipped past my lips and licked his bikini covered balls with each thrust he made. Annie kneeled on the table straddling my head, leaning down he opened his lips and engulfed my bikini clad cock and began to suck. I moaned a little more as he sucked slowly and deeply on my shaft each downward suck going lower until he reached the base..
I grasped Anakin's bikini waistband while I popped his right bikini clad ball in my mouth and rolled my tongue around it. Still holding the waistband I pulled down, his cock sprung free, I quickly had it in my mouth sucking deeply, as he assisted me in removing his bikini completely. Your daddy held the sides of my bikini and pushed them down my slippery oiled thighs to my ankles and was now sucking on my fully exposed cock.
>He was a good friend.
top kek
boring Sup Forums
boring is a word plebs use
>luke did i ever tell you that the hologram you are looking at and said is beautiful is your sister ? oh and i cut up your dad. he hated sand too. probably why he sent storm troopers down here instead of coming down himself to meet his son
>Luke did I ever tell you about the meme wars? Good Friend posting was superior to Baneposting but it lost because took more effort. Bane was a big guy, and a good friend.
>Luke, Did I ever tell you about darth bane?
He was a big friend.
>Have you heard the tragedy of user the hothead?
Of course not, it's not a story a redditor would tell you.