When I was 17, I raped my 18 year old ex. For years this has haunted me, and I desperately loathe myself for it...

When I was 17, I raped my 18 year old ex. For years this has haunted me, and I desperately loathe myself for it. Now almost 3 years (and a transition) later and I can still remember every last word they and their mom said to me...

For some reason this person wanted me to continue life, be a better person, and not speak of it to anyone. No charges were made, although I did lose all of my friends, for many reasons, but this was a big chunk of it (certain people knew some part of the story).

I didn't consider it "rape" at the time, but I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew I was violating consent, even when they said no. But I did it anyway. I am such a piece of fucking shit, and this has been eating me up inside.

The worst part was my reaction. My reaction. Why am I like this? I started having a panic attack when they told me. I started freaking out, and only worrying about myself when they could be pregnant (I don't think they got pregnant, but still). This person had been my first relationship, and we had had sex consensually before, but this was completely different. I made it all about ME. I barely cared at ALL what they felt, the extreme precarity in which they were in, how they could be fucking pregnant, etc.

They (and me) are mentally ill. They have depression, anxiety, DID (multiple personalities, which I took fucking advantage of) disassociating, to name a few. They had been raped by a girl a few years earlier, and their dad molested them and their sister when they were very young. He got out of prison this year.

tl;dr What should I do myself? 41%? I deeply despise myself for being attracted to women, and I am honestly terrified of ever being in a relationship again. I'm extremely terrified of myself, and what I might do, or think of doing. I don't ever want to hurt anyone ever again. Also, I'm using they bc the person I dated was non-binary.

I'm just happy that they have a girlfriend who they are happy with. They're in college now. I hope they're

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ok. I can't post this anywhere else obviously, sorry for the long post.

Hey man, just be glad it wasn’t my sister cuz then I’d have an excuse in my heart to torture you.

That’s the gayest shit I have ever read. Get the fuck over it, pussy.

Jesus you're a broken wreck.

1: stop being a little bitch
2:it's "she"
3: Get over it. Rape is probably the most tolerable of the serious crimes.

Suicide

That's the thing. I hate rapists. They're pieces of shit, like me. I used to constantly daydream about torturing pedos and rapists in some of the worse ways physically and mentally possible. I hate myself so fucking much.

I’m not even joking, it would be bad. I would be in prison for a very long time and you would be out some body parts.

Murder is often justifiable. Theft is 90% of the time justifiable. Arson is 50% of the time justifiable. Rape is 0% of the time justified. I mean, legally yeah, but not morally.

They made me promise not to. I forgot to mention that.

Not sure if there's any saving honestly. You're mentally ill as fuck to the point where you raped someone and ruined your entire life right when you were a teenager. Are you mentally ill or just plain retarded?

Either way, you used "they" so you should kill yourself regardless.

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Legit, kill yourself. You are so fucking broken that you are hopeless and willing to hurt others, simply because you hurt. If you are incapable of getting the fuck over it, then off yourself. No one in the world gives a fuck about your feelings.

Atone to them, and accept that what you did will never be okay. Evil actions, not evil people.

You honestly would be in a really really really bad situation. You would likely be heavily sedated with tranquilizers to put you to sleep. It’s just the way of the world my man. If you want to behave like a chimp then I get to behave like a chimp to you.

Murder ok but not rape? Ok zoomer.

At the very least I’m taking your thumbs. I never encourage suicide but if you think you’re beyond saving and will only hurt more people........ save everyone the trouble that’s you. It would be a burden off people’s shoulders to not have you around.

Rofl, holy shit you're cucked.
Rape is worse that murder?


This is a b8 thread. Well played

An hero, stream it too you fucking shitstain

sounds to me like your ex was regretful that yall fucked and decided to be retroactively raped. She's doing it for attention. So are you. Kys fag

Rape isn't justifiable at all. No person deserves to be violated like that.

Murder has self defense/someone hurts someone close to you/political enemies/etc and those are somewhat/completely justified.

I knew someone was going to say this. It literally wasn't.

No crimes are justifiable, that's why they're crimes.

The reason rape is the most tolerable is that of all the major ones, you'd rather be raped than have any of the others inflicted on you.

Grow up faggot.

Or don't and consign yourself as a beta male failure and casualty of genetic competition

I'm not a dude. I'm a fucking tranny, and I despise myself for being one. I even more strongly despise that I'm attracted to women. So internalized homophobia as well.

You're not a tranny. You're a man with no self identity. You can either accept this and make moves towarda bettering yourself, or just kill yourself now.
The path you're on will inevitably lead to ostracization and suicide

Bro I'm literally a trans woman and if you're trying to introduce me to your Nazi group, it ain't gonna work. I may be a fucking degenerate rapist, but at least I ain't a fuckin Nazi

90% justifiable, you had everything handed to you as a child havent u. Imagine wasting a big portion of your salary on groceries and get robbed and beat up by a gang simply for lols

your life is dumb lol

There is no such thing.
And I don't want you in my Nazi group, you're too weak to be an asset.

I simply wish you well. Society has robbed you of your identity as a man and has left you in the state you're in. You can either reclaim it on your own, or you can wallow in sealf pity and mediocrity until you inevitably kill yourself.

I mostly meant robbing rich people. Why would you rob a poor person? No shit for money

Yeah I'm Cuban, and?

Eat shit fascist scum UwU

We could smell your "self identity" dogwhistle a mile away you subhuman filth

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Hey if the person wants you to be a better person, then maybe you should. Be grateful they didn't report you, and try to live the rest of your life the best you can.

just forget about it and move on you are lucky to be given a chance to continue living a better life the best thing you can do is honor that by being the best you can be

It's not a dog whistle, and my life is qualitatively better than yours by several orders of magnitude.
I'm openly telling you that the root of your issues is your lack of self identity, and the cure to that is in the pursuit of manly activities.

Regardless, I'm done here. You have your choice, I wish you the best though I certainly won't cry if you wind up discarded by the meat grinder of marxism

Take your wig and lipstick off and go outdoors. Not out to your closest Starbucks but into the wild and camp. You'll be a better man for it