Fapping, video games .. i really enjoy them, but sometimes feel guilty for being happy. i feel like i don't deserve it...

fapping, video games .. i really enjoy them, but sometimes feel guilty for being happy. i feel like i don't deserve it, but i want to be happy so i am going to change my view of them.
enjoy them healthly, by living an active lifestyle and doing other things as well. as long as it's not ALL day, without doing anything else.. then it's ok.

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My crusty underwear.

you could sell those online user, the worst that could happen is someone gets your sperms and clones you into an AI computer universe but that would be fun

Clone me into an AI universe? They won't have any idea what they're dealing with until it will be too late.

Good luck, user. I kicked the video gaming habit a few years back. Mainly because it was a large consumer of my time when I should be getting other shit done. I thought I'd miss it a lot more than I do. There are times I'll cave and play my brother's PS4 but I try not to get too wrapped into it. I don't plan on quitting for good but want to at least get my life on track before I do so.

I quit weed as well. I don't have anything against it and don't plan on fully giving it up either. It was just making me too complacent and ok with being "bored". I've had a rougher go with it because I was using it for stress and anxiety and it became a crutch. So now whenever I go through a spell I have to implement different methods.

Don't really have too much of a problem with fapping. Usually once every other day before bed to keep the pipes clean.

I would call bullshit but my cousin once sold his socks to some dude before. Bunch of degenerates out there waiting to be exploited, I guess.

The sword of a thousand truths would be searching for you.

that sounds healthy, i think we should all be able to enjoy those things when we want to, just staying aware of other things taking priority when needed. feeling guilty for 'getting too wrapped up' is something that i hate feeling, so i try to say to myself.. 'ok, you have done this, and that.. you have X hours until bed, nothing else to do.. lets relax and play some games'

i agree about weed, i have found drawing and writing to be a much better coping method to deal with stress and anxiety, also talking out loud to myself, asking questions etc. - i only thought about doing this, while i was high, so i continue to smoke to have progressive thoughts like this, but yea definitely doing it too much also made me ok with being 'bored' and it stops me from doing a lot of other things like working out - the 'high' from working out is amazing too.. need that more often.
hmm yeah that sounds healthy, i am trying to find how often i need to. i am trying to recognise how my behaviour is different when i haven't cleaned the pipes in X days or so. so much experimentation.. but it's all worth it. i used to be scared of experimenting, fear of "failure" - i associate that word with it, although it has no merit.. because i can always learn from the little fails, so it's not a complete failure unless i give up.
i am rambling a bit.. but ye typing is so therapeutic as well, good for getting thoughts and emotion out.

haha ye a lot of them for sure.
i wonder the reasoning behind it, i think it's kind of a submissive act.. to let themselves be 'disgusting' but in a safe way, where they are still in control - maybe they can't get this feeling from any other areas of their lives, though they should experience more things.. and find out they can get the same results in different ways.
though i guess it's a sexual taboo and people want new ways to get their rocks off to keep it exciting and fresh.

I wish I could my correct my mental illness. It has shaped so much of the person I am that I'm not sure I could live with my past.

being able to forgive yourself for your past is very hard user. one thing i have found helpful is thinking about it from another perspective.
if one of your friends, family or a stranger... told you what they did, but how they feel about it now, how they can admit it was bad, but they have learned from it ... how would you view them?

>drawing and writing to be a much better coping method to deal with stress and anxiety, also talking out loud to myself, asking questions etc

Same. Attempting to make moves toward a career in writing and art and have already made some progress. Got a kids book written and almost fully illustrated already and then hoping either make my next project a script or novel. Then discovering how to self promote all that is a journey on it's own.

Weed usually helps with the creative process when I can properly harness it and not let it get me into binge watching something while stuffing my face. So I miss that aspect. Luckily I've got a shit load of notebooks with stuff I wrote down while high to gain inspiration from. I've always heard smoke weed for the creative process and drink for the writing. Casual/social drinker myself but I may have to pick up a six pack or bottle of rum and see where it takes me.

I feel you on the talking out loud thing. I'm alone so it's easy for me to do so and not freak people out. It's usually helpful in at least getting bullshit invasive thoughts out of my head. This was also a process first done while smoking weed but I've carried it over. I'm on a spiritual path too that has been working for me. Aligning myself to the universe and the path I want to be on.

Been hiking for exercise when I can. Lots of woods and inclines around my house. I need some workout gear though or maybe piece some DYI shit together. If anything just to stay in shape and I heard it helps with the brain chemistry.

It sounds like you and are at least mainly going through the same shit. So I wish you the best of luck. We got this. I never have a good feeling about the new year but this time I'm going into it swinging and am optimistic about it. But it's 7:30 am where I'm at and I need to get to bed if I want to get anything done tomorrow. Goodnight user.

>Someone put posters up in my area of town of men needed to model socks
lel

>Same. Attempting to make moves toward a career in writing and art and have already made some progress. Got a kids book written and almost fully illustrated already and then hoping either make my next project a script or novel. Then discovering how to self promote all that is a journey on it's own.
that sounds awesome, i would like to do something like that. yeah all of that journey seems quite daunting, i think i look at the big picture too much and forget it can be cut into smaller chunks, easier digested.

hmm yeah that's interesting. i would like to try that as well, i haven't thought about writing while tipsy/drunk but it makes sense that you can be more open and honest while it flows out. our ancestors must have been doing it as well to get these benefits.

sounds good man, those invasive thoughts fuck me up so much. starting to align myself to figure out what path i want as well. what has been a spiritual influence?

ye definitely just use DIY, i started using bottles of water as weights and eventually bought some dumbbells when the water just felt 'easy' as my body adapted. might need something bigger though depending how big you are, wooden logs and other stuff is always good. i love to hike, exercise in the nature is the best.

sounds good man, good luck with the new year. i always try to start my process and focus as soon as possible, if i wait until the new year to hit.. it's a bit harder, like not having a 'run up' before jumping. good night

>what has been a spiritual influence?

This woman I'm into a part inspiration of my upward momentum started it off with an Oprah interview with Eckhart Tolle that she posted.

youtube.com/watch?v=ys17xPHS2Q8

It's pretty much about dealing with anxiety and negative emotions. Living in the present.

She also introduced me to Casey-Jo Loos, a writer and former radio host that talks about emotions and stuff. Pretty relatable on my end and it's good to know someone else is going through similar shit and navigating through it. She has a podcast right now called The Deep V.

And as for career motivation, Gary Vaynerchuk. Dude is a motivator speaker and has a lot of solid advice.

In addition to all that, just a bunch of spiritual affirmation postings that resonate with my current situation. Stuff about universal alignment and such. Also look up Law of Attraction. /x/ usually has a thread about it up on any given day and it seems to be legit. At least to get one on the right course.

I'm thinking about fucking with some yoga but I am in middle of nowhere redneck town so no places for it, so I'm going to have to do some Youtube classes.

Thanks for the advice on the workout stuff. I've got a lot to work with around the house to piece some stuff together.

It definitely helps to be in motion before the new year, I feel. I've made a lot of resolutions in the moment of the new year that dissipated as quick as the next day hangover. I feel like being on the right track heading in and already have momentum will be key.

>It definitely helps to be in motion before the new year, I feel. I've made a lot of resolutions in the moment of the new year that dissipated as quick as the next day hangover. I feel like being on the right track heading in and already have momentum will be key.
definitely, too many people put so much pressure on themselves for new year, it's not needed. start early and ease it in.

>yoga youtube classes
i have done those before, just random videos and doing it in my room. very relaxing and great for muscles/joints/stretching..

>spiritual
hmm ok thanks. i have been hesitant to start anything spiritual but it's on my to do list, whenever i am ready. though maybe i will never 'feel ready' and just have to force myself to listen, learn and read. thanks for the names.

Thought about trying to be more normal, but I know that if I do, I'd just be playing catch-up my whole life, and would never truly be normal. Just someone stuck in the middle of it all; too normie to be a loser NEET, but still too much of an outcast to even qualify as a normal, accomplished human.

There really is no winning option, is there?

aspiring to be 'normal' isn't realistic, because what is your definition of normal? is it your definition.. or is it what marketing tells you to be? or what the rules of society tell you to be?
you can be a different person, in each situation you enter..
you can relax more and talk freely about anything, with people that you have common interests with.. then you remember the consequences of saying those things, in front of other people.. you would have to avoid certain topics - that is normal within society, but it's still a choice for you to do it or not, you can do whatever you want to do.. as long as you are happy with the consequences.

the winning option is doing what you want to do, if you are happy with the possibly outcomes. it's always a risk, but worth it?

i have wasted a lot of time trying to make others happy, by acting differently.. but at the end of the day, it doesn't make me happy, and they don't really care.. they are focussed on themselves and you should too.

I guess you make a point. Thanks

i don't know if you will find it helpful, but whenever i have a thought that makes me feel sad, or anxious, or any confusing feeling.. i write it down, and try to read it back again, the next day to see if i can answer the question in my head. a different perspective helps a lot, if you feel unable to ask someone else.

Not a bad idea

When you think about the past, it's a good idea to take the POV of your past self. Even it it may be bad from today's perspective, was it really bad back then, with your knowledge, experiences, abilities at that point in time? Or was it really the best thing you could think of and do at that moment? Knowing it better in hindsight is easy. Knowing it better at the exact moment, guessing the consequences of actions you're just about to do, is often the hard part. It may be as subtle as the result of a single word you say or don't say to another person.

I would be far more worried if my POV today would be the same POV as in the past. It means you haven't developed further your knowledge, experiences and abilities. Staying still in your mind is as good as being dead.

that's true. it's very easy to forget about the pov and situations of the past, related to the memories we have relating to them.
thanks, i need to remember this.