I am a Jehovah's Witness. Got a question? AMA

I am a Jehovah's Witness. Got a question? AMA.

...

What the fuck did Jehovah do to have so many witnesses?

Why do you blindly believe everything The Governing Body tells you?

Why dont you love Jesus with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind

Nice digits, President Bush.
Because I would like to inherit the earth, and dwell upon it forever. Our bodies will be made perfect, and stay perfect, and we will have the ultimate purpose of working for Jehovah.

You'd have a lot of witnesses, too, if you created the universe.

how do you reconcile John 20:28 with your disbelief in the trinity?

You realize that followers of Arius go to hell, right?

The Governing Body answers to the Lord, not the other way around. Our continued success and blessings testify to this.

I don't know what you're talking about, friend.

Why are you using name of the LORD in vain so much?

Why do you guys keep dirt files on your "church" members?

repent and be saved brother...Jesus is the only way to God..

>success and blessings
Like?

I look a lot like my dad, too. It doesn't mean I'm my dad.

That's not true. My dog is a JW, and everyone knows all dogs go to Heaven.

What do you think about the large numbers of sexually abused JW-children, and the habit of keeping in inside the congregation instead of reporting it to the authorities?

Next question
If only 10 000 people get into heaven according to you guys why is your religion still around?

There's been well over 10k deaths since your church began and God is all forgiving so heavens full

It's 144 000.

>I look a lot like my dad, too. It doesn't mean I'm my dad.
really?
reaaaaaaaaaaaaally?
can you elaborate?

so Thomas called Jesus "my Lord and my God" because Jesus looked like his Father?
this makes sense to you?

i had this one friend i really liked, and when he came out to me as a witness i broke ties with him completely. not even sure why exactly, i was a 15yo kid so i hardly even knew what witnesses are.

anyway, don't you get fucking tired of standing around at stations trying to get people to take your magazines and shit? that looks fucking tiring and embarrassing man

My neighbors are Jehovahs witnesses and every time they go out to recruit they come to me first? I don't hate them, they are bro-tier, but still. Why are they trying so hard to convert me?

If a hooligan gang of jws and another one made up of scientologists met up behind a 7 11 to fight, who would win?

What is your opinion on the term "cave jews" cave jew?

Jehovah wouldn't tell us His name if He intended for us to forgo its use. Context is also on my side. Nice try, though. =)

You're thinking of Scientology. We're not even allowed to criticize other faiths openly. Doing so is cause for disfellowship.

We pray over everything in His name.

For starters, our faith reaches worldwide, keeping everyone globally up-to-date in perfect synchronization. On a personal level, I have two wonderful children in private schooling; my boy plays baseball, and my daughter continues to receive full marks on all her academic work. Between my wife and I, we bring in somewhere around 200K a year, which is more than enough to live on, travel with, and give to both the church and charity.

When are you going to grow up and realize God isn't real?

>My dog is a JW, and everyone knows all dogs go to Heaven

DISINFO THREAD - THE BIBLE SAYS NOBODY KNOWS IF THE SOUL OF AN ANIMAL GOES UP OR DOWN

would you rather fight five duck-sized muslims or a muslim-sized dick

They literally believe they can save your life before the great Armageddon.

fuck i meant dick not dick
duck
DUCK

GOD DAMN literally can't stop thinking about dicks

How about Acts 20:28?

Jesus died for our sins already, stop pretending he didn't. You're as bad as the catholic cultists.

Question remains the same. There have been at minimum twofold that number who have died

I thought it was 6 gorillion

How does it feel knowing that your religion is a farce and that the one true God is the almighty Kek?

>not even allowed to criticize other faiths openly
It is common knowledge that you guys keep dirt files on your own members

A Jehova qt3.14 was frequently visiting me, but suddenly stopped coming. Damn shame

My granny is a JW

Never got a birthday gift or Christmas present.

The people not among the chosen 144 000 wil not die, but have eternal life in Paradise.

Will you freaks ever stop raping kids for your worthless kike hero?

sounds like a sweet deal

You're on my list.

Right. And what I'm saying is that there have been way more members than that and God is all forgiving so the chosen have long been chosen

So why do you still exist? There's no more open spots

What I *know* about that, is that it's a more problematic stereotype we've had to endure over a single isolated case. Never in my life have I encountered anything of the sort in my ministries, and I've been doing this for about 16 years now.

Jehovah's elect 144,000 will serve in Heaven as co-rulers with Christ, while we shall inherit the earth and dwell upon it. When earth is remade into Jehovah's ideal image, it will be literal paradise. Not too shabby.

Christ said, "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father." This, like many other instances in Scripture, was not meant to be taken literally; it meant, in this sense, that "You may as well have seen my Dad, because I'm just like him." =)

There's nothing more rewarding than doing Jehovah's work; as we all know, faith without works is dead. Seems like a small price to pay for eternal life.

They care about your soul. You might not think they're right, but they do want you to make it into paradise with them. It's the love you'll find waiting for you at any Kingdom Hall. =)

Scientologists. They have a history of violence, and are better funded/organized. I'd put money on it, but we're not allowed to gamble.

When you can clearly elaborate on the origin of existence.

Why against blood transfusions, even against your children for when their lives are in danger?

God responded to your prayers already for saving, why be oblivious?

See

Y'all mind if I catch pokemans outside yo church?

Does it suck to have your family so divided or is the entirety of your family JWs?

Formally JW now agnostic.

When is your "Mothership" coming back to pick you all up? I remember those times in the 70's when you all ran out to the desert and were disappointed by no spaceship.

The butthurt was awesome to behold as many JW kids I knew gave away favorite toys and comic books to us "heathen" and then wanted them back afterwards.

Isn't there a set amount of witnesses needed? What happens to the rest and what happens with the family of the witnesses when doomsday happens?

Kill yourself your cult destroyed my family and my life

do you miss not having birthdays?

What's the point of this thread? You won't convert anyone online

are you even allowed to be here pham

but if he created the universe before man, nobody would have been actually around to actually witness that.

What is a jehovah witness... I have never met one in my life?

Christ had Jehovah's blood in His veins, like I have my dad's blood in mine.

We believe Christ died for our sins. You seem misinformed.

The basis for belief in Kek is that your posts end in repeating digits.

If it were common knowledge, I think we'd know about it.

She's waiting for you at the Kingdom Hall. ;)

That's too bad, but at least you're not worshiping consumerism.

Edgy.

What list? Your list of people you owe money to?

Can Jehovah cure my autism? How do I join your cult?

Story?

I was brought up a Jehovah's Witness

I hated it

>tfw every other kid in class is writing about what they got for Christmas I had to stick my hand up every year and say I got nothing as I don't do Christmas
>tfw I never had my own birthday party or attended. Friends until I was 16
>tfw had to watch my friends go out for Halloween from the Window whilst they had all the fun
>never had Easter egg bought for me

Ruined my childhood

How is JW different from regular Baptist Christianity? Will being a JW get me qt virgin girls to settle down with?

>07/18/16(Mon)17:24:19 No.81641639

Jehovah's Witnesses believe only 144,000 people will go to heaven.

But there are more than 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses.

Explain this.

Also, if your church already has more member than people who will go to heaven - why do you go door to door recruiting?

would you say that Jesus is God?

if: "yes, he's A god!"
then why did Thomas use "ho theos" in John 20:28? (meaning THE God)
was Thomas just blaspheming?
if so: why didn't Christ rebuke him here?

It's a meme. People pretending the church split up their family because they claim Jehovah's aren't allowed to socialize with family members that don't practice the same faith, which is false

>Not celebrating your name day as your birthday

Only the top brass will go to heaven.

What do you do for fun?

And not a single scripture used to back anything up =)

I do now I'm an adult and moved out but as a kid I never got to because of retarded religious parents

Tell me about the interview you go through when you want to join. The visits to potential members houses

>not celebrating diversity

Here near me they mostly target the gullible, ignorant, superstitious mexicans (mostly illegals) who aren't smart enough to decipher the insane nonsense the JW spout. They target the mexicans because they have large families and are easily controlled through fear and lies. Makes raping children easy for the JW crowd.

This right here Op

No it isn't. You are a liar.
>Raised a JW

Bloodless surgery by the numbers has a better success rate than surgery with transfusions. Blood belongs to Jehovah; it isn't ours to take. We return blood to Him.

. . . because life in Paradise on Earth seems like a pretty sweet gig, and the elect are anointed. They don't fill out applications. Some are more fit to lead than others. It's a basic fact of life.

Feel free!

My family are all JW, but my parents don't seem to think much of it. That's alright, though. I just pray for them.

You're Canadian. Your life was pretty much over from the jump.

1. No.
2. The unsaved will perish in flesh and spirit; essentially, be erased from existence.

Nice trips.
I never celebrated my birthdays to begin with, so it's not a big deal.

Stating an implication as fact does not make it a fact. And you fulfilled the point of this thread by asking a question.

Yes. Jesus didn't mingle with people who didn't need saving - He went to the sinners, dined with them, ministered to them. It's our duty to imitate Him.

>implying the creator of the universe can't draft miracles anymore

We're Christians who choose to apply reasoning with Scripture, as opposed to simply interpreting everything as it is at face value. =)

Lol ok bro.

Theyre allowed to but they are encouraged not to. My cousin went off to serve in the millitary when his JW friends turned their backs on him.

Afterwards my mom severed connections with that whole side of the family becuase they"decended into worldly views"

Youre wrong but its ok the Wittnesses are too.

Leaving that religion in the dust was the most liberating thing in my life. They are some of the most judgemental people I'veI've ever met.

See

If your child was dying and could only be saved with a blood transfusion--say you somewhere where synthetic blood products, etc. were not available-- would you do it? Yes or no?

Ex JW here Jehovah's Witness do shun members

>Charity

JWs don't support charities, you fucking faker.

Ex jw here. It's a cult. I was in till I was 16. My mom left my dad and cut off all contact with me and my brother for no reason other than her stupid "beliefs". Stay away at all costs.

Do you know why the nazis hated jehovah witnesses? They got holocausted in my country, but I haven't found out why.

In return I'll give you an anecdote

>Acts 20:28
Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

>God, which he hat purchased with his own blood

I'm pretty sure Jesus Christ was the one Whose blood was shed, and it looks like this verse is calling Him God.

i haven't fucked a JW girl yet, how do i get to fuck a qt long-skirt JW girl without having to convert

grats on leaving user

all things with moderation, its important to fully enjoy this life and not just wait for a reward inside your coffin

They also keep records of confessions and use it to keep vocal opposition silent

>You'd have a lot of witnesses, too, if you created the universe.
jehovah is YHWH in English and is merely the ravings of desert kikes

Indeed i have!

Why are you Jehovahs witness when his actual name his Jehaweha??

You should call yourself witness of Jehaweha otherswise you reveal that your beliefes are inherently flawed!

Know that feel bro. I fee Thai religion has hurt my ability to be social too

Pic related. As if Sup Forums would accept Scripture as a "source." Nice try, though. ;)
>Hint: Use a New World Translation

No interview. Just show up to a Kingdom Hall with an open mind/heart, and you're in.

(You)

I was talking about his claim that they keep files on their members. Tf are you referring to?

Looks like OP is ignoring me because I have knowledge of his cult he finds uncomfortable to deal with.

what's the most debauched sexual practice you get to perform on your wife

swear to god if your wife is a hot-ass good bitch and you only fuck to procreate or something you're a faggot

You're making us look bad. Stop being a faggot and literally DELETE THIS

Hurry up and answer OP

Jws will shun members who don't act like the Kingdom Hall's elder would like

Thankyou for the kind words.

I decided not to bury my head in the sand and wait for the end of the world like they want their members to do.

I feel the most sorry for my sister, she married a JW and shes stuck for life probably.

Its a cult for old people waiting to die. Just go to a Kingdom Hall amd look its like 70% elderly.

If you leave you lose your friends and family. You are shunned for leaving. You're in a cult.

Why bother?
Your heaven is full up already.No more room left at the inn.
144,000 maximum capacity.
How many worthy JW's have already made it to your heaven?
Would you kick one of them out to make room for yourself?

JwsI'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find happiness. I had to make all new friends, and I've moved a few times. I'm actually pretty social and I have a good life except for the fact that I'm posting in this stupid fucking thread. OP is probably trolling, probably is ex jw too but remembers how to toe the line.

I was friends with a JW back in college, and heard rumors that they believe that the Christian God is the God of earth, but that there may be gods on other planets. Is that true?

Also, what's the deal with JW in Mexico? I saw a Vice article talking about how they were opening like 2 Kingdom Halls every day there, and they'd gotten into a dispute with some natives and destroyed a centuries-old religious altar. Is there some larger governing body of Jehova's Wittnesses that can condemn that?

One last question: I'm pretty sure it's mostly based on the belief that heaven is a Kingdom. But that makes me wonder how deeply they've thought that system out. Does JW speculate on exactly what positions are filled, is it a lot of theocratic politics?

is god male