The life of user Anonymous

>The life of user Anonymous
>Season 27
>day 144
>It's another "masturbate, code and masturbate" episode

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youtube.com/watch?v=4D5SfgO5sVc
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>It's a "depressed and in bed the entire day" episode

>image.png

reevaluate your life user

>code
I wish I even did that much.

i dunno what show you're watching but I only masturbated once today

>it's an user gets BTFOed on Sup Forums so he turns the computer off and lies in bed and for the rest of the day and tries to read the novel he's been trying to finish for the past few months now but he keeps thinking about the Sup Forums post

>it's ANOTHER not sure if he should be dotting for an Ovation progressive at 14mm or 14.5mm

>its an user order 2 medium pizza from dominos and cant finish the last slice episode

hahahahaah

you fucking loser

Good on you user!

>image.png
>cries about Sup Forums posting off-topic threads and then makes this
every time if hes not spamming kate from lost

>user and his friends(not really)
>Season 19
>Day 55
>It's another "he doesn't know how the day went by" episode
I'm losing audience here.

>it's another "I'm gonna start working out tomorrow!" cliffhanger
>that plot gets ignored in the very next episode, but the defeating depression in his face says it all

>and tries to read the novel he's been trying to finish for the past few months
>Not listening to the audiobook version
I've already listened to 11 hours of Steven Weber reading IT and I began yesterday

>it's a "procrastinating homework on Sup Forums" episode

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG

>still mad

>reading it

Reading what?

>It's an user leaves Sup Forums Arc to try to live a better life buts ends up coming back in less then a day
Oh shit man the deal is fucking amazing

>reply to someone with "not him, but..."
>actually am him

Agreed, it's the best deal in town, way better than the competition. Fast, friendly and cheap! I'm thinkin I'm gonna order some Dominos (TM) for myself!

>user Anonymous
>not David Davidson
get out, newfag

>It's an overweight bullied boy makes friends for the first time episode
Damn that was emotional that part of the book when it described how happy he was

>mfw I will never return to the good days of being a kid and at school
lots of nostalgia this story brings

Of course the novel isn't just about the clown

Time for TRUMPKINO

I do this too, it makes them feel like they're being teamed up on and usually then they back out of the argument.

"Not the user you're talking to, but you're an idiot!".

Works 98% of the time.

I tried listen to audiobooks before but my mind always wanders and I miss out on what its saying and have to keep rewinding it. Same happens with music, so I don't listen to a lot of music.

>its an user gets overwhelmed by emptiness before going to sleep on a sunday night episode

Reading Stephen King's IT. That's what I meant.

Very good book if you haven't read it.

Although the orgy scene is surely bizare but I am not up to that yet

>it's a "user posts his waifu and everyone is very nice and says nice thigns" episode!

i have a good feeling about this thread

>David Davidson
>Not "Dr. David D. Davidson"

Get out, newfag.

I watched a whole 2 hour independent movie yesterday so I'm pretty tired today

Wouldn't want to go too crazy

>its an user realizes days go by and existence feels like a dream where nothing happens

Way to go user, I'm proud of you, keep it up!

do people really do this?

literally me

I usually just turn off the monitor that has the window on it and leave it off until I turn off the computer.

What do you honestly think, retard?

Same happens with podcast
Same happens with tv shows
Same happens with movies
Same happens with everything in life
That's why I do nothing the entire day

>neocon memes

awful

No!

Nah senpai. Season 25, day 1. It's still shit, tho.

Congratulations on the new season!

what? if i spend all day in bed and most of the time secluded at home that means I am depressed?

That's the nicest reply I've ever gotten

Fuck you nigger

no.

But more likely than not, yes.

Thanks, senpai. Let's hope I get renewed for yet another one in 2018.

What's the title song of your tv series like?

kikes almost cancelled mine once let's hope it doesn't happen again.

>it's a not masturbating because I gave myself tennis elbow by masturbating too much and now I need to lay off or I will never heal episode

>it's a spend the first two hours in bed browsing the internet, then eating junk food while telling myself my real life starts tomorrow episode

Well done cats

>it's a didn't die in a freak car accident yet episode

What's tennis elbow?

>it's an user spends all day plotting possible ways to purposefully fuck up any pity date his colleagues my find for him and masturbating to loli hentai episode

Thanks for reminding me that I only mastrubated once today bro. brb

>it's a user realizes he is 27, has no friends, and spent a 4 day holiday alone at home, except for a quick lunch with his dad

get a job then, fag

>it's a seriously contemplating suicide episode
>it's a literally not a single friend episode
>it's a "user is completely alone and will forever be" episode

>It's an user wakes up at 8pm, puts on some lo-fi hiphop and debates showering episode
youtube.com/watch?v=4D5SfgO5sVc

>Easter special!
>user goes to the store to see the candy
>realizes he can just come back two days from now and get it for half off
>goes home and masturbates
>he woke up at 1pm so the day is already mostly gone
>eats 3 tinas burritos for dinner
>masturbates again
>showers
>masturbates again
>cross board shiposts until 3am
>masturbates again

>tfw gonna be a 26 year old virgin next month
>still living at home
>utterly shit job
>all friends have moved on with girlfriends and even starting to have kids

See, that's where life is all about how you look at it, because having no friends and being at home alone for 4 days sounds like heaven to me.

>that episode where user couldn't think of anything to do so just went to sleep in the middle of the day
That was 6 seasons ago now and he does it nearly every episode, this show fucking sucks

Actually I'm 22 and spent my 2 week vacation this way.

If I could kill myself without anyone caring, I would. I just hate the idea of my younger brothers and sister growing up with the thought of me killing myself. It's not that I'm sad, I just can't be bothered with life anymore.

just watch a flicc

>its an user wants to go outside but it's easter sunday so the only places near him that are open are mcdonalds, wal-mart and gas stations episode

>it's an user can't even stand near a girl without feeling uncomfortable episode
>it's an user blushes for no reason when the conversation turns to him episode
>it's an user has to write notes just to order a pizza episode

I SEJEQ SY OYU SUMER"!

>its an user want to go out into nature but all the nature is fenced off and privately owned

what happened to the rat in your oven?

>It's an "user dreams about being held by a girl" episode

>its an user procrastinates on a large research paper due soon while he masturbates and browses Sup Forums

>>it's an user has to write notes just to order a pizza episode

Fuck, this one hurts

thats all I have in life so far desu
and I dont like it, it is civil service administrative bullshit

>it's an user keeps telling himself he'll inexplicably acquire wealth and a good job one day despite not making any effort

don't you have rambler's rights or something?

>because having no friends and being at home alone for 4 days sounds like heaven to me.

>it's a come to Sup Forums expecting epic memes but everyone is a normalfag guilt tripping me because I'm a virgin shut in episode
why do I even turn the computer on anymore

>it's an user does nothing all day but daydreams of fucking his crush episode

The president is a guy who made his fortune in real estate and land deals. What do you think.

>it's an "user has to imagine having a girl laying next to him stroking his hair in order to distract himself from his depressing thoughts about being forever alone and unloved enough to manage to sleep, but realizing how fucking pathetic it is he just gets more restless and thus has been sleeping only three hours per night since last week" episode

>normalfag guilt tripping
This is a turbovirgin catharsis thread you stupid faggot, you're supposed to talk about the shit that makes you want to kill yourself in the third person and pretend it's funny when it's really not, how fucking dense are you

>it's an user gets dragged to the pub by his friend episode
>he really doesn't want to because he doesn't know any of the people there
>he does because it's the only contact he has with his friend anymore
>it's the most awkward few hours of his life
>especially when his friend goes to the toilet and leaves him with the other people

>it's an user wakes up, and for a brief moment you see pure happiness on his face before he realises it was all a dream and that girl he liked in school hasn't even thought about him in years

>it's an user spends yet another hour going over the facebook profiles of the people he used to know with a fake account, saving pictures of the life he wishes he had

>its a I want a gf episode
>remember that I don't really need one and how big of a hassle it is

Porn made woman useless to me, like why the fuck bother getting a 4/10 gf when I can easily jerk off to a 10/10 using a superior onahole?

replace crush with little sister.

>it's an user spends yet another hour going over the facebook profiles of the people he used to know with a fake account
I really should stop doing this shit. It just makes me depressed as fuck.

Then do it faggot

I tried but it didn't turn out well

What I don't understand is how you maintain interest in a girl for that amount of time. I get bored of my closest friends after a few hours. Fuck trying to make that sort of effort full-time with a girl.

>that episode where user only remembered it was Sunday night at 9:30pm
I swear to God he glanced around the room for things to kill himself with for a second there

I hope your hair is stroked one day

Story time!?

>it's yet another user spends 20 solid minutes daydreaming about having super powers or saving the world from aliens episode

I fucking hate these episodes
>"user just come along. You'll meet new friends haha"

Link?

>it's an episode where user realises his 16 year old self would beat the shit out of his current self for being a complete fucking loser