Have you ever met an American IRL? What was it like?

Have you ever met an American IRL? What was it like?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=RJeugIJFXas
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamestown_(TV_series)
youtube.com/watch?v=L97SKj3wYf4
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I banged an ebony escort one times from murica, she was pretty tall and had a nice ass.

it was horrible. i was chased and he wanted to feed me burgers

Barely. There aren't many Americans around here. Generally I only encounter them at McDonald's, TGI Friday's, and a few at Oslo Central Station, but we don't talk to strangers like people do in America. Scandis are just like that.

we are champion farters

They reeked like feces

he behaved exactly like this
youtube.com/watch?v=RJeugIJFXas

Give me 7

He shat himself and pulled a gun on me

Too bad.

Yes, anything from 5 to 20 per month.
I'm a tourist guide.
It's pretty much always the same, loud people.
Never quiet. Fans of cheesy jokes.

Yeah but he was shot before I could get a word in

whre can i go on one of your tour guides? :D

strangely happy

Kiruna (Kurravaara) in Swedish Lapland.
Main tourist lobby in center of Kiruna town can set you up.

We had a romantic, candlelit McDonald's dinner and then went back to my place for "dessert."

Never, and I hope I never do.

this forced unfunny meme is d&d bullshit
sage

He kept talking about how he was a businessman and how I would really like his boat if I saw it

He smelled pretty bad and I'm pretty sure he was broke

I met an old american couple with red faces at Valparaiso, they were lost asking for directions. I sent them to the worst possible area

I hope they got mugged

What am I?

i will find you and you can give me the meme tour guide verion

he stole my burgers and did some weird heathen dance of celebration, then promptly shoved them up his bum and sharted them out again, only to lap it up from the floor

Why though

A guy from Chicago went to my school as an exchange student for some weeks, he was tall, blonde and he had freckles, he had blue eyes but he had african features: he had frizzy hair, great lips etc. I was very confused, I've not had seen a person like that before.
I'm not even meming.

My cousin is an amerimutt.
pretty cool guy, really smart and funny.
Must be the unholy combination of finnish autism and american gregariousness.

you sound weirdly aroused by him

Please tell me he has the adorable Finnish accent.

banter

No, he has an east coast accent when speaking english. He lives there after all.

Alright. Nice numbers, though.

More like shocked, he seemed like an albino nigger, but he was not.

first time meeting an american unironically having a convo

we were in florida, i was in the car while my dad was getting gas, a man poked his head through the window with a cowboy hat and warned me about gangbangers and niggers while introducing himself and he wouldn't shut up or leave

he seemed to think we were british even though we were turkish and told him we're turkish but i think he ignored it lmao

Thanks I made them myself

Whenever a brit poster says he visited America its usually Florida. Even irl most British people who visit say they went to Florida, but I've met more in other areas rather than Florida

We were waiting for our meal at the Max Hamburger restaurant at Stockholm airport and he started talking to me about american hamburgers.

No fucking joke, this actually happened.

On the reverse, I remember meeting a British couple in New Orleans when I was 10. I kept asking them about the UK and questions like 'Do they teach you about the revolution over there?' They obviously were annoyed by me, but I think they were annoyed by my parents more. Bad memory.

why is the meat at Max so finely ground that it doesn't feel like meat anymore? A beef patty is not supposed to have the texture of a meatball, it just feels wrong

hosted an american couple that were doing tourism with their baby and the woman's mother
they were pretty nice, specially the guy who actually knew spanish pretty well and asked me doubts he had about the language from time to time
the girls mother was a bitter bitch tho
>gregariousness
just say sociability you autist

Sociability refers to the willingness to talk and engage in activities with other people, gregariousness implies he derives pleasure from the company of other people.
Big difference.

Can eat faster since you don't need to chew.

I just browsed thru a thread in Sup Forums

You guys are literally destroying americans. I felt bad for them, they were so triggerd and upset.

rolling

They looked like goblins. I was not really sure if they were mixed or severely inbred. Probably both things at the same time.
They liked to play dumb games all the time; made me try to hold a spoon with my nose IN A RESTAURANT. I could not but they profusely clapped anyway.
It was a Basque restaurant where they cook very good meat (my family invited them). They requested their steak to be "well done", because they were apparently disgusted by raw meat. Ruining the product, of course.
I could go on.

This is very fucking real.

They sounded like monkeys fighting over territory.

I've met lots, the tourists from the south tend to be pretty fun and decent drinkers, but when you meet faggots from the west coast it's genuinely like you're talking to a mentally deranged child. One girl from San Diego actually asked me, I SWEAR TO CHRIST, why there aren't more black people in Split.

I'm serious.

Some black yank at some warehouse i worked at. Guy could never stop talking but he was alright i guess

was he arrested for buying a handgun illegally? I think I know him

if a brit goes to america its normally florida

that being said, brits rarely go to america at all unless they're rich or been saving up (like we did)

it was a pretty shitty place desu

>he was tall, blonde and he had freckles, he had blue eyes but he had african features: he had frizzy hair, great lips etc.

that is how swedish people look. I'm not even doing a "NEWSOMALIA LMAOOO" deal, they literally have black people features

>tfw I have neither

there was a bunch around Williamsburg and Jamestown in Virginia, both historic sites. Looking it up I realized there's some shitty British romantic drama series on the settling of Jamestown or something and that may have contributed to them coming by. A lot of Germans too, I literally don't know why

Any time outside of germany is a time of respite and bliss

>there's some shitty British romantic drama series on the settling of Jamestown or something and that may have contributed to them coming by
no nobody knows that shit

never heard of anything like that and every brit watches the fuck out of tv, tv show news is literally in our bbc news so i'd 100% know about it, as every brit would

people only go to jamestown cus that's where we learned the first americans landed from space

I don't know man, I haven't met many swedes, I hosted a swede for 2 months but he was son of immigrants, Michael btw had a negro face, I will not forget it for life.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamestown_(TV_series)
none of them seemed to know what Williamsburg is, and just stayed there because there's a nice big hotel there and it's close to Jamestown

nobody knows that shit and it's going to get cancelled soon cause nobody knows it

He was fat and told me he had lot of guns and had been shot in the past.

...

One of my university teacher was an American from Boston. He was fat and wore a blue jean.

what's wrong with jeans?

Nothing

wtf dude

Obligatory chest shart

Yeah several, nothing special
Last one was a Mexican girl from Dallas, she was nice
They're way too fucking friendly and talkative tho

feels good to be master race

abloobloo me white
abloobloo you no white

rollg

Roll

hooting

roll

I've been in the USA and they are extremely diverse.

But one thing they all have in common and that is the lack of common sense (they lack common sense so badly that most of their society is oblivious to reality)

what the fuck is this

singles

>Be tourist traveling with my family
>Wake up to the sound of a war drum, squealing and snorting fill the air
>Smell body odor and rotting food, feel the vibrations of multi-ton beasts plodding along the floor, some driving heavy duty motorized scooters with machine guns taped to him
>I desperately search for an escape when I hear a pounding on the door, but alas, I am on the top floor
>"Oy, I hear there's a Brit living here!"
>The crowd outside my room erupts in a storm of snarls and moans of disgust
>"Let's drag out Nigel Muhammad here and teach him what a real white man is!"
>Another voice cries "Looks like halal meat is back on the menu, boys!"
>I dive under my bed as the door collapses under the combined weight of the freaks of nature behind it
>They stomp around my home, squealing and snorting, smashing open cabinets and garbage cans to eat the contents
>My fridge is torn to pieces in seconds, its contents gone before they can touch the floor
>My wife is torn out from her hiding spot in a closet, I hear her screams as the brutes devour her
>They chant "USA! USA! USA!"
>I peek out from under my bed, one pulls an assault rifle out from a fat fold under his distended gut and fires it into the ceiling
>A bat creature picks up the table and flies out the window, Walmart coupons spill onto the floor, causing the crowd to violently fight each other for the best ones
>They forget about me, and after nearly half of them are violently torn apart and devoured, they leave with their spoils

I called the police, but they just shot some guys dog and left. I don't know what to do.

in the coming new world order everyone will have a pet mongrel

Nope.

she drools chocolate sludge when she eats icecream, never notices

I feel like most of the negative stories Euros have about us are from West Coasters

On the flipside I've never met a foreigner who was just visiting where I live

10/10

...

I went to Commiefornia with highschool, in a shitty town almost entirely populated by mexicans.
One of the few white students at the local school was fat had super dumb face deeply hit by acne, people told me he made magic tricks, so he showed us one of his "tricks", he took a quarter put it under his eye and the coin disappeared under his skin then he took it off with a dumb satisfied smile. It was disgusting.

Sometimes, when I enter the room, the lights explode because my dark presence is so intense. It's very inconvenient.

...

He put the fucking coin under his eyelid?

>be me, American
>European cousin coming to visit
>excited to show him what my country has to offer
>waiting for him at the train station
>he arrives, draped in a burned, feces-smeared American flag
>I greet him and ask about his clothing choice
>He replied
>”Murrifats. Culture.”
>”E-excuse me?”
>”Murrifats. White”
>I ask him what a Murrifat is.
>He begins obnoxiously clapping in my face, as if he’s referring to something I’m supposed to understand
>I shrug it off
>He asks where my mobility scooter is
>Inform him that I don’t use one
>A look of utter confusion comes across his face
>Take him on a tour of my hometown
>Entire time, he has a disgusted scowl on his face
>Asks me why there aren’t poor people dying in the streets and gunfights around every corner
>I tell him I don’t understand
>”Murrifats. In charge of speaking English”
>We get to war memorial at park
>He spits on it
>I tell him how rude that is
>He begins bleating on about American imperialism and how the Soviet Union were the true liberators of Europe and Asia
>He then starts clapping in my face obnoxiously again. I still don’t understand what he’s referring to, but he evidently thinks it’s hysterical

(to be continued…)

Not personally but I remember two chicks in the metro the other day, they were complaining and bitching about how dirty the boxcar was, and the constants bumps

Then they exit at the next station where a public university is. I guess they came here to study, since we got free education down here

It left me kinda mad because they talked loud and with a rude attitude assuming nobody could understand them, but at least I did

Then it hit me that coming here to study is what poor chileans and brazilians do, so I guess those chicks must be having a hard time in america to have to level therself with the usual crappy foreigners we normally see

>Feeling uncomfortable, I decide to take him to get food
>Small sandwich shop everyone in town loves
>He orders first
>”Where are the burger?”
>Old lady behind counter looks confused
>I explain that he’s from Europe
>She asks which country and he reluctantly answers
>”Oh yes, that’s a beautiful country” she replies, “That’s where my family came from”
>I see blood vessels bulging on the back of his neck, beads of sweat forming at his hair line. He’s breathing heavily.
>He slowly leans into the old woman’s face and without warning screams “MUH HERITAGE!” at the top of his lungs
>Starts furiously clapping in her face
>I have to restrain and pull him back. I apologize to the old woman
>Visibly shaken, she meekly replies “H-have a nice d-day”
>This comment only seems to make him angrier
>Our food arrives and we initially eat in silence
>”Fatty” he says, ostensibly addressing me, despite my relatively low BMI, “where is Albania?”
>He has an incredibly smug look on his face
>”Albania? It’s a tiny country across the Adriatic sea from Italy, south of Serbia and Montenegro, north of Greece”
>The color drains from his face
>His expression is now one of extreme distress and paranoia
>”M-murrifats. Education” he replies, sheepishly
>I still don’t understand what a Murrifat is

(to be continued…)

>Decide to smooth things over, ask him if he’d like a beer afterwards
>”Murrifat beer. Pisswater. Pick both” he replies
>I continue
>”I know the stereotype about American pale lager, but things have changed a lot in the last 20 years. There’s an excellent ale I know of that’s produced by a local brewery just down the street”
>My cousin goes completely stoic
>I instantly realize that I must have crossed some sort of line
>He just sits there for a minute, occasionally twitching
>It’s almost as if his brain has been overloaded
>He drops to the floor and begins writhing
>I’m about to get help when suddenly he leaps back up to his feet and takes in the largest breath of air I’ve ever seen
>”MUUUUUUH MICROBREEEEEEEWS!”
>restaurant windows shatter
>my eardrums nearly rupture
>He is now ripping off his clothes and shrieking
>Old lady behind register is going for phone
>He promptly shits into his hand and chucks it at her, knocking her off of her feet
>He leaps out the window, still in the throes of defecation
>Police arrive
>Yell at him to surrender
>He lunges at them, grabbing one officer and mauling his face
>Grabs disabled officer’s gun and starts to raise it
>Other officer fires, hitting him in the chest
>My cousin falls to the ground
>I rush over
>He’s barely clinging to life
>I ask him why he did it
>He motions me closer
>”Be Murrifat…” he begins with his last dying breath, coughing up blood
>”…Get shot”
>Falls to the ground, lifeless

Under the inferior eyelid yes.

...

Can you identify an American before they speak?

Please go to Watsonville and kill him, he is the only non-mexican there, it will be easy.

I try to avoid going to C*lifornia

So literally this:
youtube.com/watch?v=L97SKj3wYf4

Then bomb that place, there is nothing good there, they are all brown dumb ignorant mexicans and that disgusting "guy".

ok

Roll

You euroshits keep beating this dead horse. It doesn't trigger anyone no one here gives a shit if you're mixed or not. All you are doing is projecting your own insecurities