GOOD VIKING MOVIES

Watcha got?

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Anything Amy Schumer

Valhalla Rising
That one with antonio banderas and the vikings I think?

I only got a silly viking movie. Sorry.

Vikings

Beowulf & Grendel isn't vikings, but it has a similar aesthetic. Great production design, so-so everything else.

There really aren't many good viking-era movies though. You could try kirk douglas in The Vikings or charlton heston in The War Lord (Normans vs. Frisians, so post-viking era, but close enough).

Thanks

I liked Pathfinder

13th warrior, but the protag is a beaner pretending to be a sand nigger

someone just fucking adapt something from northlanders

...

huh??? the protag is a slav pretending to be a norseman

The 13th Warrior stars Antonio Banderas as some muslim guy. That's what that user meant. If you're thinking otherwise then you're probably mixing up movies.

not one mention of The Vikings with Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis

youtube.com/watch?v=Hyk9UScz4_8

Beowulf is written by Anglo-Saxons (who were essentially cousins of the Vikings) and set in Scandinavia during the Viking age. I'd say it's fair to call it Viking.

My nigga.

If it had come out in the 80's it'd be one of those cult classics beloved by everyone, I'm sure.

>as some muslim guy

His name was Eben.

in school we were taught that it was set around 700, which would be before the viking era, but whatevs

It's a pre-history mythological tale.

> No, no, Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, Ibn Al Abas, Ibn Rashid
> Huh, Eben ?

This movie was pure kino

>Give an Arab a sword and he turns it into a knife.
racial bantz-kino

>implying Vikings were white
Just like you honkeys think you Egyptian, roman and Greek too

I'm Spartacus!

> Only an arab would bring a dog to war

The way it starts out with them not understanding eachoether and then transitioning to English after he'd listened during their long travel was mind-blowing to me the first time seeing it. It was such a fucking good way to do it.

>when you die, can I give that to me daughter?

Bantz for days.

Animated Beowulf movie?
Ironclad has Vladimir Kulich as a leader of some saxon or something mercenaries which are represented as viking types.

I legit enjoy it, but it's astoundingly inaccurate. Almost every prop, event or thing said is inaccurate.

No he was referring to Vladimir Kulich (Slav) pretending to be a Norseman (Bulywyf, the boss viking)

There had only been 12 posts and it had already been mentioned once.

>How did you learn our language?
>I listened, you son of dirty whore! [or whatever, can't remember]
BTFO
T
F
O

>Anglo-Saxons (who were essentially cousins of the Vikings)
>how retarded can a burger become till it it degenerates into an ape

Angles and Saxons have nothing to do with vikings FFS, it's like saying Spanish and Italians are cousins, or Turks and Finns.

The movie was kino just because of the bantz, kek

>it's like saying Spanish and Italians are cousins
But they are basically cousins.

You're jumbling the events. He got even more BTFO.

>norseman says something about Eben's mother being a camp-follower
>"my mother was a pure woman of a noble family... And I at least know who my father is, you pig-eating son of a whore!"
>norseman gets absolutely butt-devastated and tries to attack him

Then comes the "where did you learn our language/I Listened" stuff, with the based blonde norseman laughing.

oh right, right.
gotta rewatch it again.

R E F N
E
F
N

youtube.com/watch?v=aVVURiaVgG8

Starts at 1:40

This fight

youtube.com/watch?v=rRVZtmhvkas

>mfw some inbred pig-eating heathen talks shit about my noble Arabian stallion while riding a plowhorse

Kek

lel

>It's a pre-history mythological tale.
nah it actually refers to a couple of tribes that were only extant for a couple hundred years, so it does have a distinct temporal and geographic setting. grendel is never explicitly a monster and his mother may just be a warrior woman. dragons probably aren't real though

Glad to see there's plenty of others who value 13th Warrior. The language learning scene alone makes it worth watching. If you ever found yourself stuck with a group of foreigners speaking a different language you'd be able to relate. Most of the movies omit the language barrier problem and everyone speaks either perfect or accented English, this one came with an elegant solution instead.

On a sidenote, Ahmed Ibh Fadlan was a real historical figure who was part of a delegation to the lands of Varanghians and who kept a journal of his travels and descriptions of the locals' and their rituals such as the burial in the beginning of the movie. His account is quite valuable to the historians.

I thought this movie kind of sucked and I'm a fan of Mads

>youtube.com/watch?v=cwCRT60dsL0
>Everyone except Mctiernan wanted Stellan Skarsgård to play Buliwyf

Holy shit would that have been a different movie. Stellan would have felt silly as fuck.

>When you die, can I give this to my daughter?

The scene of the vikings washing themselves in each-other's snot also came from the historical account, as I remember it. It was partly why vikings were thought to be dirty heathens for so long, when comparatively they were some of the cleanest around since they actually DID wash themselves every day and took great care to wash their hair and beards, to the point of being called faggots by other neighbouring people. As I remember it there are two theories about it, either they actually changed the water in-between each person washing their face, and Ahmed still thought it was disgusting because the same "dirty" basin was used, due to islamic faith saying you must wash yourself under running water to not sully the basin or something like that. Or it was a fealty-ritual, with everyone washing themselves in the chieftain's dirty water as a sign of respect and devotion to him and everyone above you in the chain of command.

Antonio Banderas is from Málaga, Spain, like Picasso, not a beaner from Mexico hijo de puta.

You should read the book the film was based on: Eaters of the Dead.

Hmm, some real scholarly observations there, user. I honestly feel a little enlightened. Thanks.

Also since we're acknowledging Beowulf lore, I'm surprised this one hasn't popped up yet. It was a legit great movie.

Fuck that looks kino. Is it any good?