Hey there, anonymous! It’s good to see you again, I hope you’ve been well. Is anything weighing heavily on your heart right now? I’m here to listen, if you’d like to talk about it. Let’s all try to make the world a little better tonight, okay?
Hey there, anonymous! It’s good to see you again, I hope you’ve been well...
Sounds good to me!
does your day sound good, so far?
If it wasn't for the winter cicadas...
>Is anything weighing heavily on your heart right now?
I want to buy an Aneros for prostate orgasm hands free while I'm reading loli but I don't know which one to pic.
I guess that being the most troubling thing in my life right now shows that I'm doing good.
I'm not familiar with that show, honestly. is this an endorsement?
sounds like it's pretty smooth sailing, sure.
if you aren't used to putting things up there, research says the helix is good for starters.
What? No! The bug!
look, all I'm saying is I got some historical yaoi show when I googled it.
there's cicadas around in the winter there?
I played with my fingers till boredom for the past year. But I can't quite reach the my prostate to the deep end.
Currently wondering if picking up the Progasm jr. or the Progasm classic, because I'm a big boy and want to make sure I really reach my elusive prostate, and the Progasm classic seems like it will definitely hit it.
But then don't know if it being so big will get in the way and not slid and move properly ruining the massage.
you know a lot more than I'll be able to learn with a simple google, I guess! may as well do your own looking, sadly I'm pretty unskilled in this.
Nope, just doing a bit!
you know I'm bad at reading bits!
Should I try bytes instead?
I'm not too good at those either, sadly.
Shit, that's all I got.
Fuck it. I'll bump this.
You anons are alright.
you are as well, friend. please have a wonderful week.
I want to die.
The only reason I want to live is to fill a 529 account for my granddaughter.
Also booze.
I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way. is there anything that brings you a sense of fulfillment?
Not really.
My job is reasonably fulfilling, and well paying, I am too depressed to get something harder, too well paid to get something better paying without a big jump in difficulty.
I am married, unwilling to cheat and tired of sleeping alone.
Winning in all columns but actually losing.
job provide insurance? you could always look into counseling or therapy to at least smooth out a bit of that depression. worth some consideration.
I tried antidepressants once.
Wanted to/half-assed tried to kill myself.
It turns out the only reason i'm alive is that I can't be bothered to die.
Or maybe you have something left to live for?
I've got a few attempts and I cut that shit out.
Don't forget, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
well, I guess those didn't work out too well! thankfully, there's a lot of methods to help alleviate depression. even without considering that there's a few different kinds of anti-depressants that will affect different brains in different ways, cognitive behavioral therapy works fairly well. there's also esketamine that was recently approved, which has looked fairly promising in the bit of information that I've read.
either way, you could either talk to your general practitioner, or you could call your insurance company's customer number to find a therapist in your network.
I know it sucks now, but I can't help but believe it's worth trying to ease the pain, even just a little.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been through that, anonymous.
Filling the 529...
I was a mediocre stepdad.
maybe be an okay grandad/college fund
It's not really pain. Well there is pain. It's apathy.
Depression isn't really sadness. It's just the lack of fucks to give.
falling down a k-hole might be fun though.
that's fair! I'm pretty familiar with how it feels, but I guess I'm never sure how to word it. an overwhelming feeling of anhedonia, maybe.
still, therapy is useful for some people, and it can help alleviate those, uh... not-fucks vibes.
it's like, micro-micro-dosing. self-medicating with ketamine isn't something I'd advocate for.
Im under so much stress I want to blow my brains out and I've been drinking myself to sleep the past couple of nights and will tonight too. Work makes me feel like ending it, I've applied where my bf works (I'm a fag) and I figured they would have called me by now and talking to him about it makes me want to drink more. I'm 11 credits away from a degree that I probably won't use and that shit costs 2500 because community college. I already told my work I'm quitting and Friday should be my last day but as it approaches I feel so much worse that I probably won't get the job, bills will pile up and honestly I want to kill myself really badly. Only reason I haven't cut my arm and body up is because it was my new year's resolution and I don't want to make my bf feel worse since he's a cute sensitive boy. Honestly might kill myself this weekend idk I'll wait a little longer but the pressure and stress is really getting to me and I honestly don't know what to do or how to express it.
I am sufficiently intelligent and self aware that therapy won't likely be helpful if that makes sense.
I know my issues, and could resolve them if I choose to, but the endgame and victory ultimately is unappealing.
John?
And you call that an intelligent outlook?
No Chris
I'm not entirely sure that drinking more is going to help in this situation. talking with your boyfriend won't fix what's going on, or get you the job, or make all of the pain go away. but you won't be doing it alone. I'm sure he wants to be there for you right now.
I mean, most people who are depressed would say "it won't work", because all you'll see is the potential negative outcomes. it's why I asked if your nice job is providing insurance, it sure as hell won't hurt to try.
It is a realistic outlook.
I look at my life. I see all the reasonably likely values of winning. I realize than none of them would bring me any joy.
I accept this and wait for death.
nvm then. I was going to talk about this at lunch.
It isn't realistic at all. It's negatively skewed and based only on your limited experience. What seems "reasonably likely" to you right now is being shown to you through a lens that makes everything look like shit.
is this the same ppl that where talking to be about me shit therapist yesterday ?
~N
Two of the three!
thank the gods i have been lookong for a new community. i cant to out bcc of my borken leg
was it that recent? it feels like it's been a week already...
I wouldn't call it much of a community, but I'm glad if it's helped you feel a little less alone.
My limited experience is optimistically over half a lifetime.
I've paid too much over the year and have so little left.
the days just seem to be bunched together when you have nothing.
~n
Are you temporarily MotleyXru
We'll be here as often as we can! In about 20 minutes I'm gonna watch some anime, you're welcome to join if you'd like.
No matter how long we live, our world is still small, and none of us have ever tried everything we possibly could.
how often to you host thes forms?
is there a scheduled?
~n
and you did a lot of new stuff in the first half of it, right? nothing's stopping you from trying to make changes now.
that's fair, it tends to work the opposite for me. yesterday feels like three days, last week feels like last decade or something.
wait, that last one's kinda true...
I'm not sure what this means.
not currently, and I'm averse to setting a concrete one.
time in an allusion lunch time bubbly so
~n
Paying the debts from the first half...
$ debts or other debts?
~n
that's understandable. is that stopping you from trying to improve or do new things, though?
debts of honor.
that sounds to me like it is a direct amends thing OR step 9 of 12
I was encumbered sober. Idealistic, but sober.
soberity is more then just not drunking or useing
i just lost my 10 year chip last month
~N
It’s not a failure on your part. We all fail at times. Success is not not falling. Success is continuing to rise.
Not the guy you're talking to but damn... 10 years?
I couldn't even make it 8 months. I hope you're alright.
Have some N
i try to see it more as a negative resalt and not a fallore.
a failore is if you dont learn from mistakes
There's several anime and waifu threads. What the fuck are you faggots doing
it happens, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. hope it's going better now.
ain't an anime or waifu thread, so I'm not sure why it bothers you.
Good for you user-bro
honestly THIS page is helping me
i still have resentments at the ppl at AA not AA itself
Have this better N.
Honestly Sup Forums‘s together alone fellow fuckups make life almost bearable.
i think that is why i relaped i had noone to talk to.
THIS i what i need just to talk to someone
~N
and not "rate my cock" wtf Sup Forums
Waddup.
I've vowed not to be a dick a dick anymore.
You Sup Forumsros are decent.
I've got more of a tough love approach to these things.
I've tried AA myself and I didn't trust the people there. They were mostly quick to give out their cell numbers.
There was even a guy who was claiming someone there fucked him over.
You've got the strength to quit within you, you don't need other people.
A community might help but I don't think AA will.
Drink some water and go to bed early tonight.
Sorry I wasn’t there to help you or didn’t.
It’s too bad Alice or Reimu were around at the time either. Those bitches rock.
ya thats called "13th stepping" most of the small meeting have put a stop to that but the big ones like 30ppl plus. ya it takes 1 to fuck everything up
~n
AA isn't for everyone, and there's a fair amount of studies criticizing its methods. it's understandable if you had some bumps with it, even if it was just the other people.
that said, I'm glad to hear it's helping, but make sure that you're working towards more than one source of support. gotta have support to fall back on, and that's tough if there's only one group there to catch you.
sorry, not my thing. I'm sure you could start a thread up, though?
i have seen the studies. 0.6%
it worked in the 1930's but things are different today
bill w. had the right idea but it needs more
~n
You're probably older than me and I've got some hope in you.
You made it 10 years N, try to be proud of yourself, I'm proud of you.
You could possibly find closed meetings instead of open ones.
I'm currently trying to get on a liver transplant list and I hit the god damn reset button.
Next step is going into a program that will test me for a year so I can learn my lesson.
Can't wait to meet the mandated people again. They always want to rip your head off.
~A random faggot and fellow drunk
i did not have that until i found this bord
> liver transplant
my hart gos out to you that is alot harder then my broken leg
joke "im not a alcoholic i just have 20 dui's this month and my skin is yellow"
ya
Broken leg? The fuck?
That sounds terrible.
My body may not heal as quickly as it used to but nothing is broken.
I can see why you hit the bottle again now.
If you're on any opiates my suggestion would be to pick one poison, not two.
Not sure if being trolled or not. Oh well.
Thread was kill awhile ago.
Have a good night monk.
my old mo was to fake getting kidney stones to get narkos, then i started getting real kidney stones and now the opiates don't work.
its the not driving that was hurting me (right leg)
~n
Some times I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.
here I was hoping I'd left blue screens in the last decade!
my primary issue is that it's treated as more of a social failing instead of as a medical issue, and I would prefer to see addiction treated as that instead.
well, that and the whole higher power thing, but that's usually just me.
have a good night, user.
I'm sorry to hear that, user. I'm here to listen, though, if that means anything.
It is, but is late so I have to get some rest.
I hope that you rest well.
1 ya is both,
2 i have gotten too much "my god is better then your god" thing.
it worked in the 30's but not today,
how to you tell your sponci that they need thereby and not AA ?
~N
who's stats ate these?
Stuck around for a bit and I'm shocked at the mock AA meeting that just started.
I'm going to ask out the person I like sooner or later.
my name is N and i am a alcoholic
those are all the stats of depression. hay you and me have the same list, how a bout that
I'm not sure what this is, but I'd suggest speaking with your general practitioner about a referral. if you're concerned enough to take an online test, you're already aware something's up. may as well see about that first step towards trying to feel better.
I don't know much about the inner workings of it, I've mostly just seen others go through it. can you just like, tell them that?
people commiserating on addiction isn't exactly mock AA. sorry it came across that way, though.
good luck, user
i think someone likes me a lot and wants to be with me forever but i have a hard time having a solid identity but he always helps me love myself but i cant return the love. what do? im a broken robot boy.
I'm not sure what you mean that you don't have a solid identity. who are you when no one else is around?
do you like them as well?
my name is N and i am a alcoholic
i know ALL about inner workings oh boy do i
i have seen legit fist fight over small things like if we are going to read page 123 or page 124.
AA is WAY to big and there are WAY to manny ass hols to deal with
to took 2 years of arguing at my old home group just to get the dam building painted
this sound like you are afraid to love someone.
is it that you dont want to hurt them or you dont want them to hurt you?
~n
i mean im like an extraterrestrial being that absorbs people if i don't help it. like, it feels like there isn't much behind myself except for being someone with unappealing blunted emotions. by myself, i talk to myself and get anxious. i like them.
i don't think I can hurt him but i don't think ill ever be truly adequate as a strange loser
> Is anything weighing heavily on your heart right now?
The recent passing of my father.
I mean, it's okay to feel that way, but there's something that must've attracted them to you.
you got any hobbies or things you're really passionate about? or maybe it's something that they see clearly, but you can't see about yourself.
that's.. really rough. I'm sorry to hear that. do you have anyone to help you through it?
are you felling the "im not good enough" f
eelings?
~n
The 7 stages of grief
you need to FEEL you feelings
remember him.
be with PPL.
tell US what is going throw your head
you are NOT alone
~N
it's five stages.
not really anything, but i can think of a few reasons he likes me. it just doesn't make sense to me as a whole-- how helped me keep track of my head for years selflessly
basically yeah. there's just an idealized image of myself and many veneers. some people arent made for pursuits of romantic love and it's a matter of finding solace in platonic relationships I guess.
thanks fellas
I mean, we can't really understand why other people do what they do. maybe those reasons are important to him.