Question for you married bros or living with gf. what do you do when you are really really gassy and can't stop farting...

question for you married bros or living with gf. what do you do when you are really really gassy and can't stop farting? I can't stop tonight and need help.

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I make like keyblade and Let em rip.

Make my girl go down on me under the blanket, then rip it loose and hold her down.

in front of your wife/gf all night long? I don't believe it. at some point when you are super gassy they will tell you to fuck off or leave. do you just sit in another room alone until it passes?

hold everything in until i spontaneously combust

I'm not talking about one bad fart. I mean when you are something weird or you are sick and keep farting constantly for many hours

I squeeze them out slowly and silently, then say "what's that smell?"
There are numerous variations of this method, be creative

Usually try my best to take a shit

can't believe people do this without being embarrassed or being told to seriously fuck off

this

This shit happens to me a lot. I usually just go to bathroom everytime.

sometimes you have bad gas and can't shit. it's been going on for hours and I shit right before that

It took a while but now I just let them go. I try to be nice and do them in ways she won't smell but it happens

Literally drive to the gas station or a 24 hour drug store and buy gasx or peptobismo or run to washroom like a cuck

well then just say you don't feel good and go to bed and fart your life away while your gf does other shit in the house

Goddam man up and fart. Stop being a beta male
>pic related

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I just let it rip. She'll usually say I'm nasty, but I just say "good" and keep going.

Tell that bitch to shut up and deal with it.
It isn't like she doesn't fart.

Honestly man just let em go. If she can’t handle them then she can’t marry you. We all make sacrifices in relationships. Grab her by the nose, shove it in your ass and fart.

I do go to the bathroom for a fart but right now I may as well sleep in the bathroom tonight. I fart every minute. I have pepto didn't think it would work for intestinal stuff. how long until that gasx or beano stuff works?

that's gross and rude to me

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I just fart. Sometimes I cart under the covers and put them over her face


If you don't want to fart because you're a woman, stop eating dairy and take 2 Imodium

Are you also a cuck?

FIrstly, when we were dating, I told her that in order for us to move on to the next phase of our relationship, she has to be comfortable enough with me to be able to fart in front of me.
She told me that she would never be able to do that.
One day, about two weeks later she was having a gas day, same as what you are having. She accidentally farted in my presence when she thought I would not hear it.
I went over to her and thanked her, gave her a big kiss. She was red in the face from embarrasment and I told her it's not necesary.
I immediately started looking for a place. I also explained that I don't have a fart fetish, but we can't be together unless we are completely comfortable with each other.

take probiotics
buy lillies for your bedroom

no but no one wants to smell bacteria from another person's asshole wafting around the room while your reading a book or watching tv. no one does.
I usually eat yogurt everyday but skipped it a lot recently. I wonder if that's why I'm having problems.
it stinks and I have been in another room for hours but the smell spreads

just fart right next to her. if you can't do that and you both laugh, that relationship is doomed

I go to the guest bathroom across the hall, shut the door, turn the radio on loudly and rip as many as possible until I run out of gas.

Bro what did you eat? At this point you WILL have to sleep in the bathroom if it’s that bad and you very clearly can’t stop nor will you make her deal with this so....sorry user washroom naptime

hey op, have you thought about taking a bath and farting and eating your fart bubbles? Its called frapping and was really big in the 60s. You should take turns doing it to each other in the bathtub. I think that will help her understand who you are and where you come from. It will strengthen your relationship for sure.

Or have you thought about farting in a jar and closing the lid afterwards really quick? You could give it to her and say you made some kimchi and you want her to smell it. She'll say why and you say its a secret and special spicey kimchi and she needs to take a big whiff of it. If she questions you for a third time, force the hand and open it in front of her face. Hopefully the carbonation from your gas will shoot your stench straight up her nostrils and into her brain.

Have you also considered taking a dump on the floor and blaming the dog? Thats also a great way to have fun and strengthen the relationship. If she seems suspicious cause the doo doo smells like your gas, say that you and the dog ate the same thing and she has no room to judge you like that.

I think these options are good to start with. Or you could also do a shart streak on the couch and cover it with a blanket so the smells there but no one can see it (yet). This is also a great way to loosen the tension, strengthen the relationship, and doggone it, have fun.

it's been hours
today I had a ham and cheese sandwich, carrots, a banana, yogurt, and spaghetti. normal for me.

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I agree with the foundation of your statement, but not the laughing. If my bitch ripped ass right next to me and laughed, I'd just walk away. I won't breathe anyone's colon and laugh. Shit's gross, man (I mean literally and metaphorically)

Holy shit, this is so funny.

I'm in stiches right now.

This is an epic post.

Seriously? I mean, I know there's a window in the first couple months of a relationship where you're not totally yourself, but after that, let em rip. She can too. Jesus, it's a normal human bodily function.

Cuddle.
Dutch oven.
Hold her down untill she pukes while laughing maniacally.

I've always hated, I mean, not preferred, living with others. I determined it a necessary evil when I got here, and it still holds, decades later.

My gf insists that I fart in front of her. If I fart and don't tell her before hand so she can place her face at my rear, I have to explain that it slipped out before I could tell her or she gets really pissed off.

The first time I let one rip in front of my gf she laughed. That's when I knew she was the one. Then I married her.

I usually go in the other room.

If I'm trying to go to sleep while gassy I tell my wife I'll sleep in the other room and go fart all I want and enjoy the stench. It also gives me some alone time so I can fap to cuckold porn.

Fart and fan it at my wife and laugh

Lol phaggot

is your gf James Joyce?

I like to fart in gf’s face, caus her reaction is so funny

I fart. Since we're not 11 years old, it's not an issue.

eating a bit of carbon, that one used to treat diarrhea should make things les gassy, dont overdoit cause it also takes a bit of nutrients from what you eat and you can turn retard like gwyneth paltrow
one pill should be enough here and there, but usafags use it in powder form, dont inhale it cause you can turn retard like usafags

Well seeing as my gf farts more than me, I’d just let em rip

Dude I literally hold in farts just so I can drop my guts on my girlfriend. Especially in bed.

Beyblade*

Jesus, just fart.
>it's natural
>it's inevitable
>it's a solid way to assert your dominance
>if she tells you to leave, fart again and tell her to gtfo
>fart rape is real, use it wisely

Blow them out audibly and laugh to myself. I'm not running the bathroom to fart in my own home for the rest of my life.

Time to grow up, everyone shits pees and farts, ofcourse its not always a pleasant presence but its a natural thing you shouldnt be ashamed or disgusted by it

How do you take a shit without smelling your own shit?

go to bathroom and shit it all out, just shit it allllllllllll the fuck out, the gas, the shit, everything. Stay there till your stomach is empty.

Keep on farting ? Like I don't get it . Sure she might not like it but I don't care .

bump for that semen demon