Help Sup Forums I just jerked off into a condom and flushed it down the toilet and now...

Kevin Robinson
Kevin Robinson

Help Sup Forums I just jerked off into a condom and flushed it down the toilet and now my toilet keeps making sound and it’s right next to my parents room and I don’t want them to wake up how do I fix it

Pic unrelated

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Jeremiah Young
Jeremiah Young

How the fuck does that happen? A toilet is literally built to handle monster shits. A magnum condom with the coom of a lifetime wouldn't affect it.

Colton Carter
Colton Carter

let me guess, upstairs toilet? Your probably fucked and will have to call a plumber but you can try the plunger.

Zachary Murphy
Zachary Murphy

Might be caught on something, just put a wad of TP in there, but not quite enough to get it to overflow, and flush it. Should catch the condom

Daniel Young
Daniel Young

You gotta jump in that shit, man. You have to commit, don't be a bitch.

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Jason Sanders
Jason Sanders

Go home kid

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Jaxon Kelly
Jaxon Kelly

Try this first
Then try the plunger

Levi Smith
Levi Smith

what kind of noise, like it isn't refilling? just take off the cover to the tank, grab a bowl and manually refill it. if they hear you pouring water just pretend you're throwing up and say you ate something bad

Dylan Johnson
Dylan Johnson

Why do you live with your parents?

Jaxson Jenkins
Jaxson Jenkins

Just drink all the water till it floats back to you

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Robert Rogers
Robert Rogers

My buddy had this happen years ago, idk if it was overtime or just one but it royally fucked shit up and they eventually had to call a plumber. Good luck

Nolan Russell
Nolan Russell

MODS UNDERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Elijah Evans
Elijah Evans

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Cooper Jenkins
Cooper Jenkins

Good job you got the toilet pregnant. You're fucked for the next 18 years bro

Jacob Ross
Jacob Ross

Dont worry man im on it

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Benjamin Perry
Benjamin Perry

Stick your arm down the toilet and try and grab it

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Hunter Sanders
Hunter Sanders

The toilet won’t flush at all, I tried plunging it but it’s still making the noise everytime I turn the water on. I’m freaking out that my parents are gonna kick me out cause I fucked our plumbing by jerking off in a condom. Also I’m 21

Lucas Reed
Lucas Reed

Man you suck at life

Josiah Butler
Josiah Butler

Keep trying to flush it. Over and over. I'm a plumber and this is one thing you can do to fix stuff like this. Eventually it'll work if you just keep flushing.

Benjamin Hughes
Benjamin Hughes

Not today's toilet. The old school 5 gallon flushers would destroy what ever you put in there. Today, we got these water saver modes that barely do jack shit, you get like one gallon per flush.
.t plumber faggot

Lucas Garcia
Lucas Garcia

OP - try flushing more condoms. It might sound retarded but it'll attach to the others and form a chain that you can just pull the whole thing out.

Grayson Long
Grayson Long

Dump a bottle of hot sauce in the bowl and flush it. It'll break down the condom and clear the blockage. You're welcome

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Nathan Howard
Nathan Howard

you are going to have to tell them something and get a plumber. Better start thinking of something now. You have all night. Also, WTF as you still doing lining at home? I am going to kick my kids out as soon as they turn 18.

Lucas Ramirez
Lucas Ramirez

Okay, I’m retarded but I would like to look at my parents in the eye after this is over so what can I tell them if the plumber pulls out a condom when I am the only one home and I haven’t had a gf in 2 years.

Jacob Roberts
Jacob Roberts

Boil a ton of water and pour it in. Hot water dissolves latex easily

Nicholas Hernandez
Nicholas Hernandez

Better to make up a story that your dad can at least be proud of. Tell him you snuck a bitch over and plowed down, and flushed the condom like the dumbfuck you are.

Carter Nguyen
Carter Nguyen

I'm a plumber, a job like this would easily cost $500+. Unless you've got that much laying around, you should try the boiling water suggestion. Fill it to the top of the bowl, and flush. Keep flushing and it will dissolve the condom.

Lucas Long
Lucas Long

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
make up something that makes you sounds stupid instead of perverted, like I was cleaning out my wallent and found a old condom that was expired. I knew I couldn't flush it down the toilet in the package but I thought I could flush it. I didn't want you to find it and think anything crazy. Why didn't I just throw it away later? Hhaha guess I wasn't thinking.

Jackson Morgan
Jackson Morgan

Tell them you were worried that if you didn't use a condom the cucumber might break

Luis Gutierrez
Luis Gutierrez

Or lie and deny and pin it on your dad and then all the explaining lies between him and your mom. Then they divorce and you get to lol

Jose Bennett
Jose Bennett

Fill it to the top of the bowl, and flush.
Confirmed for not a plumber

Xavier Flores
Xavier Flores

Kek

Jordan Hughes
Jordan Hughes

Take a big old dump in there. This will cause horror and confusion for your parents and the plumber. Alternatively, deny everything in the hope that your father gets the blame. Good luck kid.

Grayson Hernandez
Grayson Hernandez

The condom has my CUM in it. They're going to know that's bullshit

Isaac Stewart
Isaac Stewart

They'd be retarded to think you weren't touching your dick at that age.. maybe just once in your life; man the fuck up

Zachary Evans
Zachary Evans

You don't know my parents, dude. They're crazy strict southern Baptists. I'll be kicked out if they know I jerked off.

Henry Martin
Henry Martin

Will there’s still be cum in it when it gets digged out

Nathaniel Evans
Nathaniel Evans

the water should of washed it all out

Mason Russell
Mason Russell

Deny all day blame dad

Michael Harris
Michael Harris

OP - DO NOT HIRE A PLUMBER

They will tell your parents exactly what they find in the toilet after they dig it out.

Do not do this.

Mason Cox
Mason Cox

my mom always used to tell me to never flush condoms and now I know why. sucks to be you op but what else is new

Zachary Lewis
Zachary Lewis

Don’t flush condoms you retard. Throw them away in the trash like a normal human being.

Ayden Gomez
Ayden Gomez

My dad is 78.

David Phillips
David Phillips

this fuckin thread lmao

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Juan Sanders
Juan Sanders

Get the plumber to tell them some shit like it was backfire from the sewers or some shit.. can't see you failing to flush with boiling water though

Luke Watson
Luke Watson

OP here - I fucked up. I believed one of you in this thread like a retard, and tried to flush more condoms to create a chain. The toilets overflowing what do I do

Joshua Nguyen
Joshua Nguyen

Obviously the toilet is pregnant

Henry Phillips
Henry Phillips

Plumber here and this

Bentley Peterson
Bentley Peterson

Theres so much water on the floor

Jackson Rodriguez
Jackson Rodriguez

Maybe tell them you got laid, that might give them a glimmer of hope that you're on the path to moving out and not being such a loser.

Although you'd probably just get in more trouble for lying.

Christopher Harris
Christopher Harris

The solution is obvious. Talk to the plumber in private when your parents are in the other room. Tell him what happened and then bribe his as to not say anything to your parents.

Jaxon Gutierrez
Jaxon Gutierrez

Fuck how do I turn the water off its all over the floor like ankle deep

David Bell
David Bell

turn the water off. The knob is behind the toilet.

Nathan Anderson
Nathan Anderson

Its backing up shit water and tp this is so gross

Joshua Hughes
Joshua Hughes

Ok I'll look for it

Michael Campbell
Michael Campbell

In that case, getting kicked out will be the best thing for you. Hit the road and get some life experience you frail faggot.

Cooper Smith
Cooper Smith

I found the knob and turned but its not working the water is still coming I tried flushing again but it made it worse

I put like 10 condoms in there because someone said it would make a chain

What do i do

Nicholas Cox
Nicholas Cox

RP'er hijacking the thread.
Post pics or fuck off.

Brody Williams
Brody Williams

why did you have a dozen condoms on hand

guys i think op might be a faggot

Samuel Myers
Samuel Myers

Because I always jerk off into them retard I don't want to use socks or tissues

Zachary Foster
Zachary Foster

I don’t know how toilets work, but if you’ve flushed condoms down the toilet in the past but nothings happened. But when it fucks up and gets stuck when you pull it out would it just be the one condom or all the ones you’ve flushed in the past?

David Hughes
David Hughes

wayyyy too obvious/10

Jonathan Reyes
Jonathan Reyes

Ok fine I made the whole thing up

Carter Butler
Carter Butler

You know the rules, pics or it didn't happen

Connor Moore
Connor Moore

Just got back to this thread and no idea wtf is going on with this RPer, but I woke up my parents and they're really pissed at me so I have to pay for the plumber they're calling tomorrow. I told them that I accidentally dropped it into the toilet from my wallet. But i dont think they bought it. Problems solved, though. But it's gonna cost a bunch and I'm a NEET.

Thanks for all the advice, Sup Forums

Dylan Long
Dylan Long

Of course they didn't fucking buy it that excuse is weak as fuck. They are right this very minute disappointed and discussing what to do about their failure of a son.

And you're welcome.

Ethan Young
Ethan Young

I couldn't think of anything else in the heat of the moment. They don't know it was a used condom I told them it was just one I keep in my wallet. Praying the plumber doesn't go into detail.

Wish me luck, Sup Forumsros

Hudson Ross
Hudson Ross

weather it was real or fake your thread entertained me. good luck Sup Forumsro.

Ethan Kelly
Ethan Kelly

It's whether.
weather = shit the sky does.
whether = the word you meant.

Jack Torres
Jack Torres

Lift the thing the chain is connected to/should be connected to
your problem is a 4 second fix
learn how to use the internet nigger

Christopher Murphy
Christopher Murphy

Thank you. I knew that wasn't right but I'm stoned and I couldn't figure out how to get Alexa to give me the proper spelling.

Cameron Phillips
Cameron Phillips

I couldn't figure out how to get Alexa to give me the proper spelling.
Holy shit, this is the world we live in.

Dylan Nguyen
Dylan Nguyen

I have Alexa connected to every thing in my house. I love it. I use her to turn off and on every light in my house, control the thermostat, control my garage door, some plugs, etc. I love her.

Camden Price
Camden Price

I once had a woman I was dating tell me about a previous date that turned her off because she went to his place and he had Alexa dim the lights. She found it the least masculine thing ever that this soft-palmed nerdy manchild was speaking to a gadget to control his lights for him. I actually met her while working as her carpenter. She later confessed to me watching my muscles as I worked. She came all over my cock.

Daniel Garcia
Daniel Garcia

Things that are bullshit for 500

Carter Lopez
Carter Lopez

Nope, 100% true.
Tip: As it turns out, women like men.

Camden Brooks
Camden Brooks

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Jordan Rivera
Jordan Rivera

Jesus they had you late in life assuming moms old too. Explains your retardation

Ethan Hill
Ethan Hill

Fucking betas.
One, you're parents want you to discreetly get hit by a car so you're hospitalized for a few weeks and they get rid of you for awhile.
Two, why are you so embarrassed that you jizzed a condom? That's what they are for, your mom doesn't want your nasty shit all over her towels. If they aren't grateful that didn't repaint the walls, wait till they leave. Get naked, put every towel in the house in the living room, cover yourself in butter and roll around till you ejaculate in her favorite facecloth. Don't clean up.

John Clark
John Clark

I actually met her while working as her carpenter. She later confessed to me watching my muscles as I worked.

This guy is a biblefag who thinks jesus was actually stacked instead of just being a malnourished little jewish man-child.

In my experience, carpenters are fat or skinny. I've never seen a ripped carpenter.
Hell, there's a guy that builds boats and he is obese.

Lucas Morris
Lucas Morris

I did not say I am ripped and I wouldn't make that claim now. But strong rough hands, visible muscle definition, and practical know-how all get the pussy juices flowing. Specifically, she told me she liked my calves.

I see a lot of fat carpenters too. They're always lazy pieces of shit.

Kevin Watson
Kevin Watson

They're always lazy pieces of shit.

Because it's easy as fuck. Unless you tryhard at it.

Joseph Gutierrez
Joseph Gutierrez

You should learn how to cook if you don't already know. It's easier than carpentry tbh.

Thomas Scott
Thomas Scott

Cat in the wall, eh? Now you're speaking my language!

Thomas Bennett
Thomas Bennett

Confirmed for butthurt Alexa-speaking manchild.

I do know how to cook too. That impresses a woman more on the 3rd date. Man things first, then cooking.

Daniel Collins
Daniel Collins

Look, they're not gonna call the police over this, so unless you have a science lab in your basement I wouldn't worry about that

Adam Bennett
Adam Bennett

i know how toilets work and that is impossible.

Aaron Thompson
Aaron Thompson

Man things first, then cooking.

Learn more about food. They are drugs. The gut has more neurons than the brain, it is also responsible for most of the "feel good" chemicals and hormones.
Chocolate works best if you can make it even half good. Fresh hot chocolate cake with ice cream and molten chocolate sauce is easy as fuck, costs fractions of the price of bought stuff too if that's a problem.
Ice cream = euphoria
Sugar = energy
Chocolate = happy
Providing food = oxytocin
Kitchens also do stuff psychologically to people.

TL;DR
There is nothing unmanly about cooking.

Charles Lee
Charles Lee

all that shit you said
Learn more about women. I've fucked a couple hundred and I know what it takes to get them interested.

Kayden Fisher
Kayden Fisher

Eh, you're going for a particular type.
Everyone loves food. Everyone needs food too.