ITT: We invent fake guests for Joe Rogan's podcast

>Andrew McGilvra is a boar hunter and conservationist who recently traveled across the continental United States living only off of what he could find in the wild

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youtube.com/watch?v=jrL56-TZhQ0
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lee stroud is a real person who did this and was already on his podcast

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MARK HAMILL

>American """"""""food""""""""

>you don't have to thank me but you do have to eat this bro

fuck, didn't know that

comfy night ahead

Do you think Joe hunted those guilt free jalapenos himself?

>Jonathan Sambo is a political activist who advocates strong use of psychedelics to cope with mental health issues and hosts the Radical Capitalist Podcast

WHy do you guys listen to this dumb bald faggot?

>a time traveler

>martinez shkrelinski a jewy looking autist who's an expert on pharmaceuticals...or not

alex jones

>Ted Blowback is a left-libertarian independant orthodontist who aster studing dental records of Peruvian pygmies believes that ancient people used THC to unlock the power to turn into beast men and find Atlantis. Joe will talk to him about his theories on getting UFC fighters to smoke up before fights to unlock their primal chimp powers.

>Matt Graystone is a martial arts master and collector of pink himalayan salt who cares a lot about what he eats.

>bernie sanders is a senator for vermont, originally from brooklyn, who advocates the use of weed as a means of dismantling post-social capitalist hegemony of western thought process real estate

>Gad Saad is a slimey kike who tries to pass off marketing cliches as profound discoveries in evolutionary psychology.

kek

>Jed Hopstinbraut is an anti-GMO entrepreneur and thought leader on the capacity for psychedelics to lead America to the semi-permanent lizard people and travel

Why the fuck hasn't Joe had Shkreli on the podcast yet?

>Duncan Trussell is a boring pseudo-intellectual Terence McKenna wannabe hippy loser who can't even smoke a joint without freaking out

>Eric Trump is a big game hunter, philantropist, former campaign adviser to the president of the United States and the current CEO of various Trump global businesses

>Buck Hazmat is a geomythologist who believes the earth was once ruled by meteors.

>It's a Joe Rogan fail to cook eggs once again-episode
christ joey it's not that hard

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Frank Woolf is an ex cia operative who has worked on black operations all around the world. Now hes retired he owns one of the biggest triple skunk farms on the west coast

>Dr. Bansi Rahim is the Chief Research Officer of the Ogden Institute, an organization pioneering the use of jenkem and carbon nanotubes for the treatment of depression

...

>Sylvia Chase, anti-marijuana advocate leading studies which have found a correlation between cannabis and low IQ, crime rates, and an inverse relationship between marijuana usage and success.

>Don Wonson is a paleontologist who believes that dinosaurs ate marijuana plants to experience different states of consciousness.

>Caleb Roundstone is a former tech entrepreneur, whose company was once valued at over $2 billion. He's been visiting rainforest tribes whose cultures are based around natural psychedelics as part of a Vice documentary, and he thinks studying the way they live could have a huge impact on how we view the societies of our ancestors

>Mr. Punchy is a Kangaroo who COULD LITERALLY TEAR YOU TO SHREDS HOLY SHIT!

>it's a Joe attempts to poach an egg for once episode

>Nim Flores is a podcaster, comedian and a chimp that must be what? 400 pounds? Jesus that thing will tear you to shreds.

>Roe Jogan is me from a parallel universe.

lmao

>Jason Genova is a comedian, an aspiring bodybuilder, and youtuber with a cult fanbase.

>Dr. Gabi Tereso is a mexican intellectual, conservationist, and inner 8th gate taijutsu practicer. Her book "Walking with wind." highlights the issue of stealing the earths wind and using it for human purposes.

>Toe Rogan is Joe Rogan's left toe and has been broken several times due to homosexual spats on a gay fucking karate mat

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>eggs from my yard
you mean chickens, dipshit

Fucking lmao

>Brandon Sheev is a former MMA fighter and current stand-up comedian extraordinaire

criminally underrated

I don't think pharmabreh is allowed to leave NYC

>Mitch Powersander is blackmailing Joe with gay pictures of them together from 20 years ago to use this episode to talk about his line of creatine supplements.

> Dr. Sniz Hunston is an endocrinologist specializing in DMTs affect on the pituitary gland. During his most recent Ayahuasca trip, he was informed by an inter-dimensional entity that he would receive full tenure by the end of 2016. He has since reformulated his hypothesis to account for his lack of tenure. After the show, he talks to Jamie about where he could get in some stand-up sets. He will also be appearing on Tangentially Speaking with Chris Ryan, The Bryan Callen Show with Bryan Callen, The Duncan Trussell Family Hour, The Drunken Taoist, and The Trippin' with Dippin Block.

>Tobias Shaw is a xenobiologist who believes intelligent life on Earth may have emerged thanks to neurostimulatory fauna planted on Earth by ancient aliens and that marijuana is a direct descendant

>Bill Wilson is a CIA agent who has undergona top secret missions across the globe to capture some of the most dangerous big guys on this planet. His self published book "Flight Plan" is a NY times best seller.

>Mr. Wiggle-Giggle is a hallucinatory elephant that Joe will be yelling at when the DMT kicks in.

If someone invites a time machine there's so many historical guests that I want him to get on the show.

>so they kept you in a cage like an animal bro? That's so fuuu.. Jamie pull up that video about 19th century strong men. . . Fucked up bro. See look! These guys are fat amateurs compared to today's lifters man

Kek

>user is a Sup Forums poster who specializes in alt-right threads about underage celebrities and whose current thread titled 'What did she mean by this' is currently on the front page

Forgot pic

Watching the Joe Rogan podcast for the past two years has actually made me stupider.

>don't you think you could have convinced them to let you out of the cage? don't you think you're wasted your life and it's your fault? huh? huh you silly bitch?

>Bananarama the chimpanzee talks about MMA future and supplements, makes compelling argument for the earth being flat

Just keep an open mind, bro.

why am i giggling so much at this

>Peter O'neill is an auther, vegan - hunter and outdoorsman known for his bestselling books "The Hunting Vegan lifestyle; Why killing animals is ok" and "Carbs and Sugers: why they don't exist"

>Joe somehow manages to agree on major points with all of these guests at the same time

>Jake McGabe is a bodybuilder, MMA fighter, explorer, psychedelics activist, Libertarian, hunter, and someone who inherited enough money to do nothing but vanity "lifestyle" projects for the rest of his days.

>Dr. Angela Fargas is a nutritionist and sports scientist who specializes in the performance enhancing effects of marijuana

>DEFENSIVE ABOUT WEED?! I'm not defensive bro I'm not defending WEED bro. Why do you keep talking about Weed? Btw you missed your flight. You are obsessed with weed bro fuck your flight what's the problem salvia will save your brain cells man its in the history books you gotta read between the lines. Fuck your flight bro your not leaving this room till we sort this out

>Louise Elizabeth Clarkson teaches spiritual psychology at the University of Dalles, TA. She's a long time advocate of working out at night and is one of the founding members of the "Moonlight howlers" movement, a group that belivies in channeling the sprit of the moonlight by working out nightly to improve your endurance, estrogen, testosteron and much more
>Her best selling book "Runnng with the wolves- how to channel the moonlight for a better life" was an Amazon bestseller for 2 consecutive weeks

underated

>Nate Tucker is a writer, actor, and comedian. He host's the podcast's "Better Tuck Next Time," "Go Tuck Yourself," and "Tuck Everlasting." His latest special "Tuckingham Palace" premieres on Netflix on May 9th.

lol watching

>work 8 hours shift where i can listen to shit all day
>but still have to somewhat focus on my work, so joreyydoo is the perfect light - entertainment to just have in the background

i will never understand how "normal" people sit down and listen to him (i means hes chill enought but still) and his retarded pseudoscience guests mumble on for 3-4 hours in ther own spare time

>joe interviews and actual man made of straw to discuss the benefits of marijuana and still gets angry

Most people listen to him while they're doing other shit tho. I mean, even Joe admits that probably what the majority of his listeners do.

You act as if you're unique, baka.

youtube.com/watch?v=jrL56-TZhQ0

>mexican intellectual

>Cannabis, also known as marijuana among several other names,[n 1] is a preparation of the Cannabis plant intended for use as a psychoactive drug or medicine.[12][13][14] The main psychoactive part of cannabis is tetrahydrocannabinol (THC); one of 483 known compounds in the plant,[15] including at least 65 other cannabinoids.[16] Cannabis can be used by smoking, vaporization, within food, or as an extract.[17]

>american education
EL JUSTO

>Oh come on.
>I'VE MET HIM.

okay sorry bro.

just figured since you said "watching". on his subreddit people will literally sit down and watch the entire thing live you know

>subreddit
>reddit
found your problem

>Oh, I thought you were saying like it's... Retarded..

> Nino Hernandez is an entrepreneur in the meat industry whose experiences as a factory worker for a company making cascarónes informed her business and her decision to open up a for-profit university in Lesotho for butchers and martial arts practitioners.

This so much. Him and Whitney Cummings are the dumbest people Joe treats like intellectuals.

>Vermiflux Traoré is an A.I rights activist, stand up comedian and internet historian. He hosts the podcast "Do androids dream of Duncan Trussell?" where he discusses the effects of psychedelic drugs on supercomputers and subatomic particles

>Tereso
lol

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Nick sucadik

>Where does yeast come from.. fucking.. bread..

Azaria Elmanjo is a Guatemalan pig wrestler who founded the first inter-species MMA tournament. She's on the podcast to talk about quantum physics, objective morality, and her latest book about meditation.

Jesus fucking Christ.

>Gers Mjolkovad is a theoretical underwater scientist, crustacean evolutionist and proponent of "Kelpamine" supplements. He is best known for his TedX talk about unlocking the secrets of DNA through muscle activation, ego death and kelp dust. He is also the founder of KelpMe! which creates kelp and THC based edibles.

fucking kek. how the fuck did this go unnoticed??

>Some idiot is going to talk nonsense for two hours and you credulous faggots will believe every word of it.

>Ron Mitchell is an ethnobotanist and VR developer who's book "The Pilgrim's Reward" talks about the development, and benefits of technonarcotics and elctrohallucinogens. Ron, are you a bowhunter? Do you garden?

When's the next JRE episode? Anyone know? How do I find out?

>Virgil Abellard is a small game hunter and author of "Bayou Keto: A Paleo Wetlands Diet". He is currently locked in a legal battle with the Nugent estate.

Cornelius Arnold Jr. II was 79-84 Denver Broncos quarterback, leading astrophysicist and convicted rapist who recently finished his memoir, "Nigger wit som money". Today he's here to talk about deer hunting.

>Neil Degrass Tyson
>Louis Theroux
>Lance Armstrong
>Alex "interdenominational child molesters" Jones

>some idiots

>Affirmative Action "scientist"
>Meme documentary guy
>Liar
>Controlled opposition

>his memoir, "Nigger wit som money"

>retarded : the post

>They're famous, so they must be smart

>insulting based Louis

Scientologist detected